The Sanzo Incident II
By NellySama
Disclaimer: Huh uh. Not owning of the Saiyuki.
A/N: Uhmmm.. Hey y'all! I'm cooking up another fanfic, because this one is ending in one or two more chapters. I'll have you know it involves a 'Teleporter of Doom', as Goku calls it, and some Karaoke! Anyway, this chapter will be weirdish like any other chapter… But! It has Leon, Rinoa, and Tifa, who are Final Fantasy people! Yay!
Btw, you need to watch Red vs Blue!
OOCNESS RULES
Chapter Five: Quest For Hakuryu: Part the Last! The Anti-abstinence Freak, Bagel Lord of Waffleland, and Tifa's Penguin. (gee that's long,eh?)
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We left off after Goku was almost fixed and the guys are driving away….
Hakkai: -parks the car- Goku, do you want to go to the candy store?
Goku: -shrieks- NOOO! Don't take me back there! Don't let them take me Sanzo?
Gojyo: Oooh! Candy! Hakkai! Can I go?
Sanzo: No, kappa!
Gojyo: Why not?
Hakkai: Because you weren't almost fixed.
Goku: Yeah! I want Bagels! –jumps out the window-
Sanzo: Coconut! Wait! –follows-
Gojyo: -pout- I want candy…
Hakkai: If you stop being anti-abstinence, I'll think about it.
Gojyo: Whaaat! But- But! Anti-abstinence is my life! That's unfair.
Hakkai: That's why I'm the gingerbread man.
Sanzo slams himself into the windshield.
Hakkai/Gojyo: HOLY PANTS!
Sanzo: I found Hakuryu!
Gojyo: Liar!
Sanzo: -gasp- How'd you know?
Gojyo: I know everything!
Hakkai: Except abstinence! –gets out of the car- Hakuryu! Where are you?
Goku appears from nowhere land, and starts singing…
Goku: Haku-Hakuryu! Where are you? You're ready and you're willin'! I forgot the words…. Haku-Hakuryu! I see you, get ready to catch that villain!
The others applaud wildly.
Sanzo: That's my coconut! –glomp-
Goku: -gasp- Coconut? I'm not Coconut! I'm Bagel! I'm Bagel, Lord of Waffleland!
Hakkai: -gasp- Jiminy Crickets!
Gojyo: Yes?
Sanzo: NO! I am the Lord of the Coconuts! You are my Coconut, Mr. Bagel!
Goku: Never! –grabs Gojyo and runs away-
Hakkai: He took Jiminy! –chases-
Hakuryu appears of Sanzo's shoulder.
Sanzo: Hello!
Hakuryu: Hello! –echo-
Sanzo: I asked you first!
Hakuryu: I asked you first!
Sanzo: Shut up!
Hakuryu: Shut up!
Sanzo: I'm Stupid!
Hakuryu: You're Stupid!
Sanzo: -fist into palm- Curses! He got me! –runs in the direction the others went-
Sanzo keeps running until he comes across a dilapidated building and Rinoa standing next to it.
Sanzo: Sheesh! Don't you die!
Rinoa: Not until Leon is mine!
Leon and Tifa appear in wedding garments.
Leon: Hello Rinoa! –waves-
Tifa: Augh! She's still alive!
Sanzo: That's what I said!
Hakuryu: Cheese!
Tifa pulls out a block of expensive cheddar cheese. Leon pulls out a stick of butter and they launch themselves at Rinoa.
Rinoa: Oh Buckets! –gets hit in the head with butter-
Leon: I'll never be yours!
Tifa: Yaay!
And they proceeded to beat Rinoa to death with cheese and butter, while Sanzo and Hakuryu cheer from the sidelines.
Sanzo/Hakuryu: Go cheese! Go butter! Go cheese and butter! Hooray! Wahoo!
Leon: -picks up a flower and sticks it in Rinoa's nose- The End!
Rinoa: -dead-
Tifa: Huzzah! –her and Leon run of, dragging Rinoa-
Hakuryu: I like brains! –chews on Sanzo's head-
Sanzo: No! My brain! Its my brain to eat! –runs away-
ELSEWHERE
Hakkai: -running- Wait! Come back! Come back with Jiminy!
Goku and Gojyo are far off, ignoring Hakkai as they run into Wal-Mart.
Hakkai: -comes to a halt at the automatic door- Ah mon dieu en patris! (!) Its…It's a… Super Wal-Mart! –shock-
The doors pinged and opened. Hakkai giggled excitedly and skipped inside.
Cart Person: Would you like a cart?
Hakkai: Yes! grabs it and runs to the produce section- Cabbage!
Gojyo comes running out of nowhere and jumps in the cart.
Gojyo: Go! Go! Go! Don't hesitate! Move it Hakkai!
Hakkai: Okay! –runs pushing the cart into the rice and bread section- Quick grab some rice!
Gojyo: I'm allergic to apples! -2ines- How about some pickles instead? –points to the canned food-
Hakkai: Wait! –stare-
Gojyo: What?
Hakkai: Where's Goku…I- mean….Bagel! Lord of Waffleland!
Gojyo: No! I wont tell you! I don't want to go back! I'm done with bagels and Bagel! –mumbles- stupid Bagel…
Goku: -tackles- I heard that, and I'm not stupid! –dramatic thunder, and echoing stuff- For I am, BAGEL! LORD OF WAFFLELAND!
Gojyo shrieks and faints, Hakkai claps wildly with the other shoppers.
Hakkai: Yaay! –thinks- Hey…
Goku: Who?
Gojyo: What?
Goku: When?
Gojyo: Where?
Goku: why?
Gojyo: How?
Hakkai slaps them both and starts pacing back and forth impatiently.
Hakkai: Augh! Where is Sanzo!
Goku: My Sanzo! MINE! –hiss-
Gojyo: Shut up! Gawd! We know already! –thinks- Wait a minute! I didn't see your name on him! So there!
Hakkai: What, you want him now? –raised eyebrow-
Gojyo: Uh.. –sweat drop- No…
Hakkai: good.
Goku runs off to the office supply section and comes back with an arms full of Sharpie markers of the rainbow. Gojyo tries to take one.
Goku: -slaps Gojyo's hand- No! Bad Kappa! Bad Anti-abstinence kappa! No!
Gojyo: -climbs in the cart and whimpers- owie…meanie!
Hakkai: For Pete's sake! –huffs and starts pushing the cart away-
Goku: Hey Hakkai, who's Pete?
Hakkai: What?
Gojyo: Yeah! Hell, even I want to know!
Goku: What you mean you? You're not so special, you Anti-abstinence freak!
Gojyo: I'll take that as a compliment!
Somehow they leave Wal-Mart without paying for all the sharpies, and they start down the road looking for Sanzo.
Hakkai: Here Sanzo, Sanzo, Sanzo! Here Sanzo, Sanzo, Sanzo!
Goku: -frantically waving sharpies in the air- We've got sharpies!
Gojyo: Is Sanzo a kitty? I want a kitty! Can I have a kitty?
Hakkai: No.
Gojyo: Why not?
Hakkai: Because Sanzo is allergic! –smiles all knowingly-
Gojyo: Screw Sanzo! I'm getting' a hamster!
Goku: WHAT! No! Don't do that! He's mine you freak! – grabs a sharpie and writes 'Anti-abstinence freak' on Gojyos cheek- Ha! Now everyone will see you for what you really are! Hahahaha!
Hakkai: Ah! Look a pet store! Maybe Sanzo is in there! –peers through the window-
In fact, Sanzo was in there with Hakuryu and Leon. They were helping Leon find a pet for Tifa's birthday.
Sanzo: Is she allergic to anything?
Leon: I..uh… -pauses- I don't know.
Hakuryu: Sanzo's allergic to cats! But not kittens! Weird, eh?
Sanzo: SShh! –pokes Hakuryu- Does Tifa like cats?
Leon: I don't know.
Sanzo: Dogs? –sigh-
Leon: I don't know… -pokes a mouse-
Sanzo: Hamster? –le sigh, again-
Leon: I, Uh, don't know.
Sanzo: -very annoyed- Fish?
Leon: I don't know…
Sanzo: -growls- ….
Hakuryu: Uh oh… here it comes! –hides-
Sanzo: A PENGUIN! DOES TIFA LIKE THEM? WOULD SHE LIKE A FLIPPIN' PENGUIN! HUH! HUH! AND DON'T GIVE ME NONE OF THAT 'I DUNNO' CRAP, LEON!
Leon: -crying- What should I say?
Sanzo: Yes. –breaths- or No. Just Don't. Say. –grits teeth- "I. Don't. Know."
Leon: Okay! –happy-
Sanzo: Well?
Leon: Well what?
Hakuryu: Aw man, c'mon you moron!
Sanzo: -twitching- Would. Tifa. Like. A. Penguin! –glare-
Leon: -cowers- Uhm.. I- D-
Hakuryu: -flies into Leon's face- Don't say it! If you value you life, don't say it!
…TO BE CONTINUED!
End Chapter 5!
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A/N: WEE cliffhanger! Please review please!