Prom. For high school seniors, it was one of the most feared words in the English language. By the time February of senior year rolled around, students went so far as to start to refer to it as one of the four letter words that wasn't fit for civilized company, wincing every time one of their teachers or parents reminded them that it was coming up. By March, the girls were at each others throats. Heaven forbid someone was to have the same color dress, or to have bought something from the same designer. Even worse, they could have booked the same hairdresser. The boys though, had their own set of problems. Everything depended on the limo. Which of their friends could go together, and how many limos would be needed to fit all twenty of your closest friends and their significant others. And when tickets went on sale at the end of April, the competition to find a date became more cutthroat than shoppers at the mall the day before Christmas.
But for Ryan 'Kid Blink' Ballat, prom posed an entirely different set of problems. Finding a date was nearly impossible, because he was gay. And at a suburban public high school, that wasn't usually the thing you tended to advertise. As liberal as his high school claimed to be, Blink knew from long experience that if he showed up at prom with another boy, he would regret it. Not that there were any other openly gay guys at his school. There were a few people in the Gay/Straight Alliance who claimed to be bisexual, but most of them were guys who thought that Orlando Bloom was pretty, or girls who had experimented with a few of their friends. There really was no one else at his school for Blink to take to the prom, and by the end of March, he had decided that he just wasn't going to go.
Not that he was interested in anyone at his school anyway. Well, except for that one guy.
Nick 'Mush' Meyers, captain of the varsity wrestling team. One of the most popular kids at school, and one of the nicest. He was also absolutely gorgeous. Perfect body. Droolworthy. He had the most beautiful eyes that Blink had ever seen.
He was also very straight.
~*~
Chapter 1
I can't believe I have to suffer through another three months of this, Blink thought to himself. I mean, English class is one of the few classes I actually enjoy, but I really can't stand this school. And I HATE Catcher in the Rye. Of all the books to have to read senior year, it had to be that piece of shit.
By this point, Blink had completely tuned out the teacher. He knew all about Catcher, and really didn't have to pay attention. Instead, he pulled out a notebook, and began to write. He'd had this great idea for the next section of his fantasy novel, and at least now he'd have the opportunity to put it down on paper. It had started in math class, but he unfortunately had to pay attention to that one. He needed to actually pass the AP exam, so he would never have to take math again. But during English, he was free to write.
Most of the period flew by as Blink frantically scribbled away in his notebook. He was so engrossed in his tale that he didn't even notice when the teacher, Mrs. Jaye, called his name. What did break his concentration was when the kid behind him, one of the jerks on the varsity wrestling team, poked him with a pen and hissed, "Hey fag, you too good to answer? What are you writing anyway?" He tried to grab Blink's notebook, but Blink just covered it.
"Cut it out James," another voice muttered. Blink smiled. Mush was defending him. Of course, Mush defended everyone. He hated for anyone to be hurt, everyone in school knew that. But it still made Blink happy to have his crush defend him.
"I'm sorry Mrs. Jaye, could you repeat that?" Considering he'd come out of the closet three years before, he was used to the taunts of his classmates. At least this time they were only calling him names. The year before, two of the kids had threatened to bash him. He'd found out about it because one of his few friends at school had reported them to the principal. She'd requested to remain anonymous, but the principal had told them anyway. She was attacked in the school parking lot the next day, and transferred out the next month. Since then, most people wouldn't rat on the wrestlers, and Blink had been the victim of a few minor attacks, but nothing like the major bashing that had apparently been planned.
"Of course Ryan," Mrs. Jaye said, practically beaming at him. He was one of her favorite students, since he was one of the few seniors who actually liked to read and write. Even though it was an advanced placement class, most of the kids were only in it since it looked good on college transcripts. "I was asking what you thought about Holden's character."
"I think he's a hypocrite," Blink said automatically. "He's always complaining about how phony people are, but he's just as phony as they are."
Mrs. Jaye opened her mouth to respond, but was cut off by the sound of the bell. Instead she called out instructions for that night's homework assignment as the class gathered up their books, and reminded them that they'd be choosing partners for their final project in class the next day.
For the rest of the day, Blink spent his time ignoring his teachers and working on his story. All he'd ever wanted to do was write, and it was one of the few times where he could actually be himself. Not who he was at school which was 'that freaky gay kid' or at home where he had to put up with his father's rants about how he was never going to accomplish anything in his life. Writing wasn't an acceptable career for his child. And having a homosexual for a son also wasn't acceptable. So far, Blink was able to ignore both of his rants, but today was going to be worse. Going home was not going to be fun.
College acceptance letters were due back today, and Blink was waiting to hear back from Columbia. Blink had only applied to two places – SUNY Binghamton and Columbia. He'd already been accepted to Binghamton, but he had no desire to go there. He knew that if he went to Binghamton, he'd end up back on Long Island, teaching high school English. Which was somewhere in the top three on Blink's "things I do not want to do" list. What he wanted to do was write. Professionally. And Columbia had an amazing English department. His father however, disagreed, and wanted him to go into something sensible, such as accounting. The fact that Blink despised math in all forms mattered little to him, he just cared about the practicality of it.
Today, he would find out. His entire future would be decided by whether or not Blink managed to get into Columbia. A real life, away from the horror that was suburban Long Island, or spend the rest of existence trapped in the ninth level of hell.
When classes ended, Blink started walking home. Unlike most of the other kids at his school, his parents hadn't given him a car for his sixteenth birthday. Which meant that to get to and from school, Blink had three choices. Get a ride from a friend, take the bus, or walk. Blink didn't have that many friends at school since Marie transferred out, so choice A was out of the question. He knew better than to try to take the bus, since he did value his health, which left the third option. Walking home.
When Blink turned into his driveway, he knew something was wrong. His dad's car was there. It was barely three o'clock, his dad shouldn't be home for another few hours. Yet here he was. He reached into his pocket for his keys as he walked up the steps, but the door opened before he could get them.
"Ryan," his father said coldly. "In here. Now."
Blink groaned. This was not a good start to his afternoon. But he nodded, and followed his father into the house, where he took a seat at the dining room table. The first thing he noticed was a rather large envelope sitting on the table.
"Is that what I think it is?" he said excitedly, reaching for it.
"You got accepted," his father said matter-of-factly. "But I don't know if we're going to be allowing you to go to Columbia after all."
"You opened my mail?" Blink said, completely horrified. "It's my mail."
"But you want me to pay for school."
Blink shut up. His father had him there. Blink may have been working 15 hours a week at the local Shop Rite since ninth grade, but Columbia was incredibly expensive, and he couldn't afford it.
"As I was saying," his father continued. "You have been accepted to Columbia. You did not however get any money. Which means that you are completely dependent on me to take care of that."
"I
have some money," Blink reminded him.
"Yes, and that will be used to pay for your housing, should you wish to live on campus. But before we talk about that, we're going to discuss the conditions for your actually attending Columbia. Firstly, you will not just take these writing classes you're always talking about. You will take something practical as well."
Blink nodded. He'd expected something like that. His father had always wanted him to take more math. Hopefully, after Blink failed his first semester of whatever math he had to take at Columbia, his father would change his mind, and let him stick to what he did well.
"Secondly, your behavior."
Blink winced. This definitely was not going to be good.
"You will only be allowed to attend Columbia should you meet this demand. I will not have my son being queer. You will get this idea out of your system, immediately."
"No."
"Excuse me?"
"Dad, I'm gay. Really. And I'm always going to be that way."
His father narrowed his eyes, and rose from his seat. Walking towards Blink, his expression had gone from impassive to completely enraged. Glancing down at his son, he spoke very quietly, in an even and controlled tone. He was pissed.
"If that is your choice Ryan, then I hope you will be very happy using all of your saved money to attend SUNY Binghamton. You're always saying how you want to get off of Long Island, even though it has presented you with the best opportunities. You choose to make yourself, and your family miserable, when you could just decide to be normal. Think about it," his voice changed, and now it was almost pleading in its tone. "The decision doesn't have to be made until the end of April. You have a month to decide what it is that you want out of life. I know that I can count on you to make the right choice."
Ryan grabbed his admissions letter, and ran out of the room, down the hall and into his room. Slamming the door behind him, he picked up the phone, and dialed a familiar number.
"Race? It's me. Pick me up. Now. I need to get out of here."
Setting down the phone, Blink went back to the dining room to wait for his best friend to rescue him from the hellhole his life had suddenly become.
~*~
Author's Note: This fic is entirely dedicated to B (studentnumber24601). See, I told her if she wrote Spot/Race, then I'd write her a Blink/Mush fic where I didn't kill either of them. So, this (which was supposed to be a one shot!) has turned into a longer story in which I make them (mainly Blink) angst, but don't kill them. Love you dear. And I hope you enjoy your fic. :D
Anyway, the title of this fic is a song by The Drifters. It's a really great song, and it has special significance for this fic, which you'll find out later.
Brief thanks to everyone who reviewed Until My Dying Day
B- 3333333333
Leah-Don't cry over your Japanese! Do your work :P
Thistle-I'm glad you liked it.
Sockfree-Cute and fluffy with death. :D Always fun.
Headache-I'm done with that one, but this will be about 6 chapters. Maybe more.
Spotlover421-I like angst. So most of my stuff is sad. I'm glad you liked it though.
LiamsKitten-Angsty!slash is just too much fun to write. :D