Disclaimer: They are not mine. I don't own anything but my ideas.
I don't want to attempt writing truly intimate scenes yet. I only know what I've read blush and I don't think I could do the intimacy and love between Tristan and Rory properly. However for when they do express themselves ( it wasn't the last chapter ), anyone know a guest writer that may want the job?
Chapter 22"Ok, and Miss Patty?" Rory quizzed while heading down the freeway towards Hartford and subsequently Stars Hollow.
"Back to a wall, charm and politely claim I hear you calling me, kiss her hand so I can then back away from her slyly keeping my gorgeous derriere away from her hands." Tristan shot back with a practiced voice.
"Good, Mr. Doose?" she asked again.
"Say hello, claim how well the market and the ice cream PARLOUR. With accent on the parlour to pay recognition to his pains-taking analness at capturing the essence of the decade." Tristan was quickly boring with her preparation for the interrogation techniques and methods of breaking a man the CIA and FBI stole from her small town.
"And? AND?" Rory's serious treatment of the matter was going from amusing to annoying.
"And," Tristan continued dejected. "I don't move, I don't touch, I don't sit, incase Taylor finds some archaic by-law left over from the days of the witch trials and decided to sentence me to live with a coffee-less Gilmore Girl."
"That's right….HEY!" Rory swerved slightly as she reached over to punch her passenger. "I am completely serious, if you aren't prepared, if you don't know them and their tactics, you don't stand a chance. Rory took the exit off the interstate and continued to drive along until they saw the rooster, marking the borders of home.
"So there's the old cock." Tristan commented.
"Wha?..How do you know about Rodney?" Rory queried.
"There's many things you don't know about me. There are many secrets in my dashing and romance novel worthy life." Rory glanced over at Tristan, consequently bursting out in laughter at his James Bond impersonation.
"I'm sorry, that's just funny. Please don't make that face." Rory gasped out, trying desperately to keep her eyes free from the laugh tears he brought to her face.
"What face?" Tristan played dumb and kept his hideous come hither stare fixed on Rory's now red visage.
"That face. But serious, why?" Rory questioned as she pulled into her driveway.
"No reason." Tristan got quiet all of a sudden.
"Come on, you can tell me." Rory pulled the key out of the ignition and placed her hand just above his knee rubbing comforting circles into the muscle. "Please? Truth remember?"
"Icametoapologize." Tristan mumbled.
"What?" Rory asked softly.
"The day after the winter formal, the one I got into a fight with Dean with. I came to apologize. I drove around the town to find some coffee and get the nerve to speak with you, and I saw…" Tristan looked sick for a moment. "I saw you and Dean still in your formal clothes coming out of a barn."
"Oh." Rory sighed. "Let me explain."
"You don't have to. I don't want to hear it." Tristan spat out. "That was a long time ago and I'm not the same person anymore, but that doesn't mean I want images of you and Dean seared into my present mind." Tristan's grip tightened around the door release handle readying for his flight from the now suffocating closeness of the car.
"Tris?" Rory's voice demanded attention and he drew his eyes from his grip on the door to her face. "Nothing happened that night, I, we, fell asleep reading the book I used to always carry with me. OK?"
As Tristan relaxed, Rory climbed out and called back into the cabin of the car. "I just hope you're prepared for the freak show."
"You know you shouldn't call them freaks." Tristan bantered back.
"Who said I was calling them freaks? You're the oddity here." Rory pranced off towards the house.
"Well then," Tristan spoke to himself a confident smirk spreading across his lips. He pulled out his chapstick and liberally applied it and as he pocketed it and stretched his car cramped back muscles, he continued. "Let the show begin."
As he sauntered towards the two brunettes embracing on the porch he stopped just short of the steps until they emerged from their banter world to acknowledge him.
"Well hello bible boy, it's been a while since I saw you." Lorelai commented without waiting for proper introductions to be made by Rory.
"How do you know each other?" Rory was thoroughly confused. "I thought when I talked about him in high school you had no idea who I was talking about."
"Ah, but you forget the incestuous manner in which the Hartford society biddies operate." Lorelai cackled. Remembering the second cousin marriage incident within the ranks of the Gilmores Rory paled as thoughts of potentially being related to Tristan danced through her head. Tristan on the other hand simply frowned with concentration as he sorted through the various Hartford family trees identifying entangling and forever entrenched branches of the various old money families. In an environment as small as Hartford, it was simply time before all the trees grew large enough and began to interact with each other. As they waited for Lorelai to stop smiling long enough to elucidate the issue, Tristan made his way up the steps of the porch, as he reached the second step to the top the Gilmore Girls let out squeals of warning, his foot came down on the step and fell through. Startled at his now scraped and stuck foot, he looked at the girls.
"Sorry, forgot to warn you." Rory apologized looking at her mom for an explanation at why the termite weakened step had yet to be replaced.
"Luke was with me." Lorelai explained, he hasn't been out of bed for a while, he's been feeling poorly. Coincidently, there was a resounding boom as something heavy fell to the floor somewhere in the vincinity of Lorelai's room. "Which reminds me, you guys are early. I forgot to do something upstairs. Just come in in a few minutes." With that Lorelai ran back into the house and up the stairs.
"Come on, I'll check your foot for you." Rory motioned for Tristan to lean on her so she could help him into the house. Tristan merely looked down at his foot and at her incredulously.
"It's stuck." He claimed.
"It's not, the woods all rotted away, just pull it up." Rory reasoned.
"It's not going to work! There's a lot of splintered wood." Tristan attempted to pull his leg out and winced as he drove wood chips deeper into his skin.
"Wow, it's really stuck! Let me get the saw." Rory started. "I'm sure you'll still be as handsome without a foot."
"Rory…" Tristan growled in warning, even if she was just kidding, even the joke was too much to take at the moment.
"Fine, I'll get Luke." Rory bounded into the house, ran up the stairs, screamed and promptly ran back down with her eyes scrunched closed. "I DIDN"T NEED TO SEE THAT MUCH! MOM!" She literally screeched. In a slightly lower decibel level she continued. "Tristan's foot is stuck! Luke, I need to you cut the board out so we can slowly get his foot out. When Luke finally emerged into Tristan's view tucking in his shirt he cursed.
"Geez." Luke exclaimed, "Lorelai I told you that step was a hazard, you should have let me take care of it instead of dragging me around the country!" Gruffly he exchanged stilted pleasantries with the pained GQ model lookalike.
"Luke."
"Tristan"
"I know."
The handshake exchanged was more like a penny arcade game that tested the strength of the competitors. "Let me go get the tool box and we'll see what we can do before the entire town is notified. I'd give it about 5 more minutes before we get bystanders." As he scanned the landscape behind Tristan his face blanched and he sent a sorry glance at Tristan.
"Too late," Lorelai's voice explained to Tristan who due to his current painful position couldn't look behind him. "This isn't even going to be a fun encounter. It's no fair when the prey is trapped. It's like hunting a tiger at the zoo! And I was so looking forward to this." Rory's head popped out from behind her mother and sent him a sympathetic glance. In a stage whisper she warned Tristan.
"Don't clench."
Forgetting all that he learned in the car, he shot back "I'm not, I'm perfectly relaxed."
Simply shaking her head she gave a countdown with her fingers in his view. 3, 2, 1.
"Well look here." Tristan instinctively clenched his buttocks anticipating the pinch that followed. Only after his hands went to rub the newest painful spot on his body did the logic of Rory's warning catch up. This was definitely not how he imagined meeting the town. If Miss Patty had booked it from the dance studio, that could only mean the rest of the town was on her heels, this was unfair, he couldn't even face them head on, his two cheeks would have to take the abuse with no relief in sight. As Rory came forward and held his hand and tried to put her abused boyfriend at ease, Tristan surpressed a shiver as he felt eyes scan his back up and down, up and down. Thankfully, Luke came back around the side of the house carrying a massive saw. Relief that his ordeal was nearly up caused him to slouch forward and lean into Rory slightly, he didn't even flinch as Miss Patty with an apologetic look towards Rory at having her boyfriend in such a position to meet the town and a predatory grin towards Tristan the likes of which he hadn't seen since a similar one graced his face so many years ago slapped his butt and went to join the hoards of onlookers now gathering.
As Luke put the saw into position and was ready to start cutting a domineering voice cut above the excited murmur of the crowd. "WAIT!"
All eyes turned towards the voice including Tristan which simply resulted in an agonized groan coming out of what he realized was himself. Taylor Doose was standing in his old ice cream parlour uniform of a striped vest and bowler hat holding a tattered decrepit document in his hands. "In the name of the Stars Hollow Preservation society I demand you stop construction."
"What the hell?" Luke was already exasperated at Taylor and immediately entered into a heated argument.
"This house is on historical land, even though its been renovated, I wasn't aware of its special nature and I must insist that any renovations or improvements be approved by the Stars Hollow Preservation society." Taylor snidely remarked.
"Taylor, the boy is stuck!" Luke yelled getting red and starting wave his hands around his head. Poor Tristan winced at the boy reference and Rory could only sit there, as Tristan no longer let her comfort him, not wanting to show weakness in front of the entire town.
"Well that IS an unfortunate situation, but it simply can not be avoided. We need approval of the board of the Stars Hollow Preservation society." Taylor simply wouldn't budge.
"YOU ARE THE BOARD!" Luke roared. "Twickham died and he was the only other silent member."
"That is true, and very fortunate for you." Taylor directed at Tristan. "However who submits the application is vague. Lorelai and Luke are the owners of the property now, but as a historic property, the land once belonged to the Doodies which eventually changed their names to the Dooses which means I'm responsible for the historic preservation of this property. And I for one, would like to bring in a third party appraiser to comment on how the destruction of the original front porch wooden steps would affect the historic classification of the property."
"Taylor for heavens sake, the boy could die from infection before then." Babette added. "Morrie and I have seen what a death trap that porch is, just let Luke cut it."
"I think you're right." A male voice from the crowd offered. "Taylor should follow the regulations."
Both Rory and Tristan's eyes narrowed and Tristan craned his neck around and through his peripheral vision caught sight of a blurry tall brown haired figure. "Bag boy." Tristan cursed under his breath.
Kirk siddled up to Taylor. "You know Taylor, for a small fee I would be willing to offer my services to you. I'm a trained antiquity and historical appraiser. I got my certificate through a mail order service. Completely genuine I assure you." Taylor's eyes lit up as they began to discuss pricing.
"This is absolutely ridiculous." Lorelai's voice ran out from behind Taylor. "Let me end this once and for all." Revealing the axe hidden behind her head, she wielded the axe above her head and ran straight towards the porch with Taylor in her path. Running at full speed towards Taylor, Taylor looked smugly confident of Lorelai's bluff before jumping out of harms way at the last second. Lorelai let momentum carry her towards the stairs and Tristan and Luke covered his eyes, saying a prayer and hoping for the best. Rory's eyes closed as did Tristan's and both their bodies tensed. TWACK!
"There, the stairs really are broken now." Lorelai's axe had lodged on the other side of the porch on a different step. "Now these are my steps regardless of who you say the property once belonged to. And if I decide to leave Tristan there it's my choice. However, I have other more sadistic ways of torturing Rory's boyfriends, so the show's over." Lorelai continued to stare off Taylor even as she motioned Luke to start actually freeing Tristan's leg.
Hours and one trip to Hartford hospital later, Tristan was resting inside the Gilmore Girl's house comfortably drugged up, his gauze-covered ankle propped up on a pillow and his girlfriend cuddled into his side.
Rory broke the comfortable silence. "I should have known no matter what, things never go as planned around here." As she leaned up to kiss his lips she whispered, "Sorry."
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A/N: Dear Readers, so somehow the plot I had in mind never occured in this chapter. Just random funny things linked together nicely into a neat and extended chapter. When I read what I wrote, I liked it, I don't think my plot's been done before in this way. The butt pinching, yes, the interactions, yes, but I didn't want the usual Luke "be good to her or die" and I didn't want any over done story lines. We're all familiar with those, and although they're like hot chocolate on a winters day...sometimes we want to try something new. Thank you for reading and reviewing and loyally checking for my updates. Hopefully this term I'll be better about satisfying my writing urges. Lots of love and have a Happy New Year. -Trorylove