The Other Guest
It wasn't until they were almost to the Weasley house; affectionately named "the burrow" that Mr. Weasley broke the silence. "Fred, George, you really shouldn't have done that."
"We didn't do anything," Fred said, innocently. "We had no idea he was smuggling in food."
"Really, we didn't," George agreed.
"We have to try to set a good example," Mr. Weasley continued, ignoring their please of innocence. "This whole situation did nothing to further relationships between us and muggles."
"We didn't use a lick of magic," George protested. "We didn't put the food under his shirt, Duddums did that all by himself. All we did was accidentally expose his crime."
"Yeah," Fred said, nodding. "In fact, we actually did them a favor. He's supposed to be losing weight for his health. Thanks to us, his parents now know he's smuggling in food and they can stop it. They should have thanked us."
Ron and Harry exchanged looks and tried not to laugh. Harry wondered if he would ever be able to see Dudley again and not picture him getting covered with fizzy drink, a pile of contraband food piled around his feet. As it was, thanks to Hagrid, he already pictured Dudley with a pigs tail all the time. If this keeps up, I'm never going to be able to look at Dudley without wanting to burst out laughing, he thought.
Mr. Weasley sighed. "That may well be," he admitted. "But it isn't our place to involve ourselves in something like that. It's the Dursleys' problem that Dudley is breaking the rules and we had no right to throw ourselves into their business like that. I want you to promise that if we ever meet up with them again, you won't go near Dudley."
"We promise," both boys said in unison.
Mr. Weasley nodded. "And-err, it might be best if we just kept this to ourselves," he suggested, as they were right down the street from the Burrow. "No need to bother your, uh, mother with this."
"Why?" Fred asked, in mock, wide-eyed surprise. "Are you afraid she might get mad that you called Dudley a large boy?"
"A very large boy." George corrected.
"That's enough!" Mr. Weasley said firmly, but his eyes were faintly twinkling. "I'm just suggesting, that she might get unnecessarily worried over this, when really, there is nothing to worry about."
Harry breathed a sigh of relief. He really didn't like seeing Mr. Weasley mad at the twins, over the Dursleys. "I-I'm really sorry my Aunt and Uncle acted like that," he finally said. "They-they don't like folks like us."
"That's obvious," Mr. Weasley said, with a sigh. "Too bad you have to deal with them, Harry. Oh well, someday they'll realize what a fine boy you are." He looked at Harry and smiled warmly.
Harry figured the odds of the Dursleys ever accepting what he was right up there with Professor Snape becoming Harry's best friend. But, he felt it would be rude to tell Mr. Weasley this, so he said nothing.
When they arrived at the Burrow, Fred and George leaped out of the car to get Harry's trunk. Ron was still holding Harry's book bag, which contained his books from last year. He was hoping that Maybe Ginny, the youngest Weasley, would be able to use some of them. Harry had Hedwig's cage.
Mr. Weasley thanked the driver and got out of the car. Harry followed him out the same side, while Ron left by the same door the twins had used.
"Are you boys all set with that trunk?" Mr. Weasley asked. "Do you need help?"
"Nah, we've got it," George said, as he and Fred pulled the trunk from the trunk of the car. Mr. Weasley shut the trunk for them. As the three of them walked over to Harry and Ron, the car backed out of the yard and drove away.
"Well, shall we?" Mr. Weasley led the group into the house.
Fred and George immediately headed up the stairs. "We'll just drop this in Ron's room," Fred said.
"Why don't you give me your owl?" Mr. Weasley suggested, taking the book bag from Ron and reaching for Hedwig's cage. "Mrs. Weasley's in the kitchen, she's been looking forward to seeing you."
"Thanks," Harry said, surrendering Hedwig, who was sleeping. Harry didn't know if it was just his imagination, but Hedwig seemed more relaxed too, now that they were both away from the Dursleys.
While Mr. Weasley and the twins went to take care of Harry's things, Harry and Ron went into the kitchen. Small and cluttered, it was a total contrast compared to the large, gleaming, and spic-and-span organization of the Aunt Petunia's kitchen. Harry loved it.
Mrs. Weasley herself was standing between the sink and the scrubbed wooden table, looking at the clock. As many things in the magic world, this clock was not what Harry was used to when he thought of clocks. It had nine hands on it, each with the name of a member of the Weasley family. And instead of numbers, it read really useful stuff like; "home" "school" "work" "hospital" "shopping" and "prison." With a mere glance, anyone could tell what any of the Weasley's were up to, even Charlie and Bill, the two oldest children, who had graduated from Hogwarts and were now living in other parts of the world.
Harry grinned as he figured out the clock. He liked this one far better than he liked normal muggle clocks. Someday, he thought. When I'm able to have a place of my own, I'll have a clock like this.
Mrs. Weasley smiled at the two boys. "So good to see you, Harry!" she exclaimed. And Harry knew she honestly meant it. "I hope everything went smoothly, your coming here and all."
"It went fine, Mom," Ron said, rolling his eyes. "Dad was with us, what could have happened?"
"Your father may be one thing, but the twins are another." She looked over at Harry again. "I'm so glad your aunt and uncle let you visit. It's going to be nice, having nine folks in the house again. I always did like a nice, full, house."
Harry did some quick counting in his head. "Nine? Is George or Bill visiting?" he asked, trying not to sound eager. He was interested in meeting the older brothers, especially George, who was working with dragons, in Romania.
"Ron! You didn't tell him?" Mrs. Weasley asked, looking surprised.
"No, I didn't," Ron, said. "I was afraid if he found out there were eight other folks here, he'd decide to stay where he was." Privately, Harry thought he would rather be here with eight hundred other people, than to stay at Privet drive.
Mrs. Weasley shook her head at Ron, and then turned her attention back to Harry. "We have a visitor for the summer. He's about your and Ron's age and he'll be going to Hogwarts with the both of you this fall."
"Really?" Harry asked, "Who is it?"
"Oh, you don't know him," Mrs. Weasley said. "He's going to transfer there. His guardian is a muggware, but apparently neither the boy or his guardian knew he had the gift." She paused and thought for a moment, "Nor did Dumbledore, for awhile, it seems. But anyway, Dumbledore must have realized the boy has a gift and extended the invitation."
"Muggware?" Harry had never heard the term before.
"An aware muggle," Ron informed him. "Someone who doesn't have any magic blood in them, but knows about the magic community. Seems like Dumbledore has known this kid's guardian for a long time, from what we've gathered."
"That's right," Mrs. Weasley nodded, as she took her wand out of her pocket. She waved it towards the sink, where vegetables were out drying on a cutting board. A knife rose from the drain board and began chopping up the vegetables of its own accord. "I suppose the boy's parents might have been magic users. He was found as a very young child, I'm guessing they died when he was but a baby. He's your age, so they might have even been killed by-" she paused and looked at Harry, turning pink. "I'm so sorry."
Harry could guess what she had been about to say. "It's okay," he said. "And you're right, if his parents were magic users, Vold- I mean, you-know-who, might have been behind their death." He certainly was behind a lot of them.
"I'm sorry, Harry, I didn't mean to bring up unpleasant memories."
"Really, Mrs. Weasley, it's all right." Harry had to admit, she rather liked his concern for him at times. It had been…well, let's face it, Aunt Petunia never worried about him at all, except worry that he might do something to embarrass her or humiliate Dudley. Having someone like Ron's mother worry about him, gave him an inkling to what it might have been like for him if his mother hadn't been killed. And it gave him a warm feeling inside.
"Well, anyway, an older muggle found him and raised him as a grandson. Then, he died and he met up with his guardian. They aren't from Europe, and his guardian couldn't come over here for too long, so Mr. Dumbledore asked Arthur and I if we'd mind taking him for the summer and making sure he made it to Hogwarts all right. Well, how could we refuse?"
She paused for a moment, to wave her wand at the stovetop, which made the flame light under a pot of pealed potatoes. "The poor boy, he keeps losing his family. But he's really no bother. He's friendly and polite and has such a good appetite. Also, he's amazing at de-gnoming the garden. I think he's settling down to things quite nicely, actually. "
Harry was getting curious about this guest. He had never heard of anyone being transferred to Hogwarts in the middle of their schooling. People seemed to go to their from the first year and stay until they graduated.
"Yeah, he's just the wonder child," Ron said, winking to Harry. "Maybe his guardian will let you adopt him, if you ask him nicely?"
"Very funny, Ron." Mrs. Weasley's tone seemed to imply she found his comment anything but funny.
"Aw, I'm only kidding. Where is Amazing Boy?"
"He's out in the garden with your sister," Mrs. Weasley said. "He's been so good with Ginny. Why don't you take Harry out and introduce him? I'm sure the three of you will be great friends."
"Sure," Ron said gravely. "I'd imagine in a few days, we'll all want to rent a cottage on the seashore together."
"Oh, go on with you!" Mrs. Weasley even laughed at this comment, as she motioned to the door. "Go, introduce him to Harry. Dinner will be ready in about an hour."
They walked out the back door into the garden. Harry had been here the summer before this and he was pleased to see that nothing much had changed. The garden was lush and overgrown; with all sorts of plants no muggle had ever laid eyes on, growing about.
There was something a little different than the other time though, Harry noticed. Over by the corner wall was a small, round, wooden table. The top of the table was set with a toy tea set. Sitting on two empty crates were Ginny, Ron's younger sister, and a boy Harry had never seen. He assumed this was the visitor.
Ginny was wearing what looked like a very old dress robe, bright yellow, with giant ladybugs on it. Around her neck was a feathered boa, and she wore a wide brimmed straw hat with a stuffed parrot on top of it. The stranger was wearing an orange jumpsuit with a belt around the middle that looked like it were made of fur and red cloth. On his head was a large, wizard cap that looked a great deal like Arthur Weasley's best one. Both of them were holding tiny cups that were releasing wisps of steam into the air. There was a plate in the middle of the table, holding what looked like crumbs from cookies that had long since disappeared, by nothing more magical than ordinary hand-to-mouth consumption.
Ron looked at Harry and put his finger to his lips, motioning him to be silent. Using the plants and hedges to hide them, the two boys crept near the tea party, until they were close enough to hear what was being said.
"It's so nice of you to stop by, Mr. Crumplebottom," Ginny said, as she put down her cup and picked up the teapot. "More tea?"
"Uhm, no thanks. If I drink anymore tea, I'll have to go to the bathroom again," the stranger said. His accent was unfamiliar to Harry and since his back was to the both of them, Harry couldn't get a very good look at his face.
Harry put his hand over his mouth to stop from giggling. Was this stranger's name really Mr. Crumplebottom?
"Oh, well then," Ginny put down the teapot. "I'm sorry I've run out of cookies. Shall I have one of the house elves whip up some more?"
"That's okay, Ginny. They were really good, but I'm betting your mom's gonna have dinner soon. And I don't want to spoil my appetite. Your mom is a great cook!"
Ginny sighed. "You're forgetting! I'm not Ginny; I'm Rapporia Rumpletor, the famous actress. And you're Mr. Crumplebottom, the newly appointed Minister of Magic."
"I'm sorry," The boy said, sounding very cheerful for someone who was apologizing. "I just can't keep all this stuff straight in my head."
"I understand, but you just need to try a bit harder. We'll go over it again. I'm Rapporia and I'm a very famous actress. In fact, I've even done muggle movies, so even the muggles know who I am. I'm also a very good sorceress. You are Mr. Crumplebottom, and you've always hoped for a chance to meet me. Then, while I was making my last hugely successful movie, I discovered a terrible plot to expose the entire magic community to the muggles. Of course, I was able to resolve the entire problem without causing any alarm, but being the Minster of Magic, you felt you had to come and check it out. Also, it was a good chance for you to meet me…"
"Poor guy," Ron whispered to Harry, distracting him from the rest of Ginny's fantasy. "She's been doing this sort of thing with him since he got here. Think we ought to rescue him?"
Harry nodded and together they walked out from behind the bushes.
"Hey Ginny," Ron said, trying to sound casual. "Nice outfit. Don't you think you're getting a little too old to be having tea parties?"
The look on Ginny's face was one of complete annoyance. "We weren't bothering you, leave us alone!"
"Hi Ginny!" Harry said.
She looked over at Harry and smiled. "Hi, Harry." Harry noticed, with some interest, that she wasn't blushing anymore. The last time he'd seen her, she would turn bright red any time he spoke to her. While she still seemed glad to see him, her color was normal and she didn't seem to be tongue-tied either. "It's good to see you. Of course, it might be better if you hadn't been spying on us." Although she had directed the words to Harry, she glared again at Ron.
"Err, sorry." Harry said.
"Hey, you don't have to keep that hat on," Ron said to "Mr. Crumplebottom", ignoring Ginny's look of anger. "I think the tea party is pretty much over."
"Okay," The stranger removed Mr. Weasley's hat, revealing a head of dark, black hair that made Harry's look positively well groomed. It seemed to grow in a hundred different directions, most of them sticking straight out of his head.
"By the way, " Ron continued, "This is Harry. Remember, we told you he'd be coming to stay with us."
"Yeah, I remember." The boy turned to Harry. "It's nice to meet you, I'm Goku!"
"Nice to meet you too," Harry said and meant it. Maybe it was the flash of eager innocence in his eyes, or maybe the fact that he was smiling so brightly, as if meeting him was the best thing in the world. Or, perhaps even that he wasn't gaping openly at the scar on his forehead, but Harry instantly warmed to Goku.
"So, you go to Hogwarts too?" Goku asked him. "I'm starting this year. I've never been in a magic school before. In fact, I've never been to any real school before. Kamesennin says it's a good place for me to go though. He says I'll get to meet lots of girls."
"Kamesennin?" Harry repeated.
"Yup," Goku nodded.
"Er, uh, who's that?"
"Oh, sorry. Master Roshi. My sensei. That sorta means teacher. He's my guardian too." Goku was still smiling brightly. "He's one of the greatest Martial artists in the world and he's been teaching me a lot. I was sorry to leave, cause I still feel like I've got lots to learn, but--"
Harry never heard what came after but because it was at that moment that the fur part of Goku's "belt" unwound from around his waist and began waving merrily behind him. It's not a belt, he thought, it's a tail!
He didn't mean to stare, but he must have done it anyway, cause Goku followed the path his eyes were taking and grinned. "Yeah, that's my tail. And no, it isn't cause of a spell gone wrong, like people 'round here keep asking me. I've always had one. Well, sometimes it disappears, but then it comes back."
Harry tried to absorb this information, but it seemed almost too wild to be believed. However, the tail itself was very real, even if the tale behind it was a bit odd. "Uh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to- uh-stare," he stammered.
"It's okay, everyone does when they first see it," Goku said, cheerfully. "I guess tails aren't too common on people."
Harry looked over at Ron, who shrugged. Of course, Ron was raised by a magic family, so maybe a boy with a tail wasn't so unusual for him. Nor maybe, the concept of a tail disappearing and coming back.
Ginny heaved a huge sigh. "I guess we can just forget about the tea party," she muttered, as she reached under the table and pulled out a box.
"I'm sorry, Ginny," Goku said.
"For heaven's sake, why?" Ron asked, rolling his eyes. "She's been forcing you into tea parties and dragging you out for walks since you got here. I'd think you'd want to get away from it once in awhile."
"I've learned with women, the best way to deal with them is to do exactly what they want," Goku said, managing not to sound the slightest bit snarky. "And, I like Ginny, so I don't mind."
"So there!" Ginny stuck out her tongue at her brother and flipped open the box. Quickly, she began putting the tea things into the box, dumping the remains of the pot of tea onto the lawn.
"I'll play with you tomorrow, Ginny," Goku said. "I promise."
Harry was known to be a rather good-natured sort himself, but even he wasn't too sure how happy he'd be getting dragged into tea parties every day. And he didn't think he'd ever cotton to the idea of being called "Mr. Crumplebottom." He looked at Goku carefully, as if trying to find the boy's secret. All he could see was that Goku was still grinning brightly. He must be amazingly good nature, Harry thought. Or else, he's just not too bright.
"Thanks," Ginny said, giving Goku a dazzling smile. She finished packing up the tea set and trotted off to the house to put it away.
"Boy, she gets weirder every day," Ron commented, watching her walk off.
"Girls do that," Goku said, nodding. "You should see Bulma."
"Bulma?" Harry asked.
Goku nodded. "She's a friend of mine. She's a girl too, and she's always doing weird stuff. But, she's okay, I guess. Now that she's hanging with Yamcha, she's a lot easier to get along with."
"Oh, well, that's good," Harry, said, even though he really didn't understand what Goku was talking about.
Goku nodded then scratched his head. "I'll be back in a minute, uh, I drank way too much of that tea." Before anyone could comment, he took off for the house.
"He's a little weird," Ron said, when the door had shut behind Goku. "But he's all right, really."
Harry grinned. "Yeah, he does seem a bit strange but I like him."
Ron exhaled suddenly and sharply. "I'm glad. Cause I kind of like him too. He's weird, but he's a… cool weird. The twins like him too. Goku thinks they're geniuses cause of all the crazy stuff they keep inventing. And he laughs at a lot of their jokes. And Ginny, well, you might have competition for Ginny's heart this year. Mom says Ginny's 'got it bad' for Goku."
"That's okay by me," Harry said. "I was getting awful tired of Ginny not being able to talk around me."
"She sure doesn't have that problem with Goku."
"I noticed."
Goku came out awhile later, and ran over to Harry and Ron. "I got to walk through the kitchen again and boy, does it smell good!" he announced with great delight.
Harry's stomach gave a lurching growl, reminding him that he hadn't eaten much all day. Breakfast with the Dursleys had consisted of a quarter of a grapefruit and lunch had been a spoonful of cottage cheese. He remembered Mrs. Weasley's cooking from the last time he had visited and he was just as eager as Goku for dinner. "I'll bet it does," he agreed.
"Uh, sure," Ron said, scratching his head. He had grown up with this, and didn't understand why his friends would get so excited.
"She said we're having chicken!" Goku went on to inform them, licking his lips and practically drooling. "I like chicken. It's not as good as fish or lizard, but I like it!"
Lizard? Harry thought. But, before he could ask Goku if he truly was fond of lizard, Goku took off like a flash across the yard and dived into the bushes.
A few moments later, he emerged with a small, brownish creature with a head like a potato. "Gerroff me!" the creature was shouting hoarsely. Goku held him up triumphantly, by his small, horny ankles.
"Woo!" Goku exclaimed as he began whipping the creature around and around. "Caught myself another one!"
Harry had dealt with these lawn gnomes before in this garden, and still carried a small scar where one had bitten him. He didn't have a lot of sympathy for the creatures.
"Way to go, Goku!" Ron clapped and looked at Harry. "The garden has never been so… gnome free before he got here," he confided in a low voice. "It's almost like he can smell them out… and as far as getting rid of them, well, just watch."
Harry did watch, as Goku whipped the tiny creature around, faster and faster, until the gnome was no longer able to even say, "Gerroff me!" and no longer even looked like a gnome in his hands, but instead, a brownish blur. Just watching him spinning was beginning to make Harry feel dizzy; he could just imagine how the gnome felt.
After several minutes of whirling the gnome around, Goku finally let it go. Harry watched as it sailed through the air in a high arc, further and further, until it finally disappeared from sight, still traveling. "Whoa!" he said. "That's got to be a record!"
Ron nodded, grinning. "The length he throws them, it takes 'em days to come back. They probably need at least an afternoon to get over the dizzies!"
"Woo-hoo!" Goku cheered, as the creature disappeared. "That was a good one! Bet he'll think twice about coming back!"
"We can only wish," Ron said, realistically. "They've got it good here. They'll be back after a bit. Not too bright, garden gnomes."
"Well, if he comes back before we have to head to school, I'll take care of him again," Goku said, optimistically.
The three of them hunted for more garden gnomes until Mrs. Weasley called them for dinner. Goku must have been doing an excellent job, because they only found one other, who Goku disposed of as easily and enthusiastically as he had the first.
It was sailing through the air when the call came. "Boys, dinner!"
All three of them were able to tear their attention away from the flying gnome and took off for the house. Goku made the lead, easily. He had to be the fastest person on his feet that Harry had ever met.
When Harry and Ron made it inside the kitchen, Goku was already busy washing his hands at the sink. They edged their way over too, as Goku wiped his hands on a towel and held them up for Mrs. Weasley to inspect. "Do I pass?"
"Flying colors," she said, nodding. She ruffled his hair, warmly. "Sit down."
Harry and Ron washed their own hands, but didn't bother with the inspection process. Goku had been right about the kitchen smelling good. Harry had to fight the urge to drool himself, as he sat down between Ron and Mr. Weasley.
Dinner was a crowded, noisy affair, with nine people around the table. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were both beaming, as if they couldn't imagine the luck of having two extra mouths to feed. The twins kept telling jokes that had everyone laughing between bites.
Having lived on a diet of mostly grapefruit, cottage cheese, and smuggled snacks, he was determined to give full justice to Mrs. Weasley's cooking. Mrs. Weasley seemed just as determined to make sure Harry ate as well, and kept urging him to take more. "Some more chicken, Harry?" she kept asking, or, "Could you find the room for more potatoes?"
But if Harry was paying tribute to Mrs. Weasley's cooking, Goku was holding High Mass. It took a bit for Harry to notice, because he was so intent on eating himself, but when he was finally beginning to feel full, he noticed that everyone had pretty much finished with dinner.
Everyone but Goku.
The serving dishes were beginning to gather by him, and he was eating as if he had barely started. Harry watched, wide eyed and amazed as Goku kept filling his plate with potatoes, stuffing, chicken and vegetables, filling it until it looked as if it would topple over, and then gobbling it down and filling it again. It seemed as if he would never stop. His fork and knife were a blur.
"Look at him go!" Mrs. Weasley exclaimed, watching him fondly. "He has such an appetite!" She looked at Harry. "Are you still hungry?"
"No, I'm fine," Harry said, still watching Goku, who had stopped speaking to anyone, and was just concentrating on eating.
Ron grinned to him. "We've gotten used to it. I think his stomach lives in another dimension, otherwise, it'd blow up or something."
"Now, Ron, that's not nice!" Mrs. Weasley admonished. She had pulled out her wand and waved it at the now empty serving plates of food. They magically refilled again.
"T'anks," Goku mumbled around a last mouthful of food from his plate. He grabbed the dishes and filled his plate again, and set to work.
"He couldn't even use a knife and a fork when he got here," Arthur Weasley told Harry. "He used chopsticks. Quite well, as a matter of fact. We didn't mind if he wanted to keep using them, but he thought it would be better to learn to eat with regular silverware, so he'd fit in better at Hogwarts. Very smart of the lad. He picked it up in no time."
"Well, he had to, otherwise he would have starved," Fred said, grinning brightly.
"O I woun't 'afe," Goku disagreed, chewing down a large mouthful. "I wouf had eaten wif my 'ands if I 'ad to."
"He also could barely speak English," Ginny piped up. "But Professor Dumbledore helped with that. Put an enchantment spell on him to help him along. It's worked wonderfully." She beamed at Goku with proud, open affection, as if it was her who had put the enchantment on him.
"Professor Dumbledore came here?" Harry asked.
"Er, why, yes," Mr. Weasley said, trying to look casual, as if Dumbledore was a regular visitor to the burrow, but failing miserably. "Albus brought Goku here himself, to stay for the summer."
Harry stared at Goku in amazement. There must be something very special about Goku, if Professor Dumbledore actually decided to bring him to the Weasley's himself. Albus usually wasn't heard from in the summer.
"Nife guy, big pointed hat," Goku mumbled, swallowing a mouthful of mashed potatoes and digging his fork in for more. "Mafter Roshi told me hef's very powerful. If Mafter Roshi says he'fs powerful, then he muft be fuper ftrong. Hef's got a nife beard. Long." He swallowed again, and without pausing, looked over at George. "Uh, are you gonna eat that biscuit?"
George silently took the biscuit that was still lying on his plate, untouched and handed it to Goku who grinned brightly and popped the entire thing in his mouth. "Boy, thefes are fo good!" Goku exclaimed, grinning to Mrs. Weasley. "You could fhow Lunch a fing or fwo about cooking."
During desert, which was a wonderful apple pie, Mrs. Weasley announced that tomorrow they would all be heading for Diagon Alley. "We have to pick up everyone's school things. Poor Goku doesn't even have a wand."
"Nope," Goku agreed cheerfully. "Of course, I've never really needed one before."
"We wanted to wait until you were here," Mrs. Weasley said, turning to Harry. "We thought that probably your aunt and uncle would be too busy to make sure you got to London."
"Err, that's one way of putting it," Harry said. He was used to Mr. and Mrs. Weasley politely offering excuses for the Dursleys.
"What's another way?" Goku asked, looking at Harry.
"Err, uh," Harry stammered.
"Another way would be to say that the Dursleys are a bunch of selfish gits who really should take their heads out of their a--"
"That's enough, George!" Mrs. Weasley interrupted sharply. "I'm sure the Dursleys have their reasons for… "
"Being a bunch of slime balls?" Fred interrupted, trying to look innocent.
"Really!" Percy spoke up. "Must you two always be vulgar?"
"Well, if you insist, we'll do our best," George said, winking to Harry. "Hey, Percy, how's the report going?"
Harry had heard that Percy was working for the Ministry of Magic, having graduated from Hogwarts last year.
"The report is going very well, thank you," Percy said primly. "Mr. Crouch is counting on me--"
"--to keep your nose firmly implanted up his--"
"Fred, stop it!" Mrs. Weasley warned.
Harry stifled a laugh, figuring it wouldn't make the situation any easier and tried to look serious to Percy. "What's the report about?" he asked him.
"Oh, now you've gone and done it," Ron muttered.
"I'm glad you asked, " Percy said, obviously delighted to have someone new to talk to about his job. "If you must know, this report is on Import Wands."
"His last report was on the thickness of cauldron bottoms," George said. "And he insisted on reading it aloud at dinner!"
"Goku fell asleep!" Fred continued. "Percy was just getting to the point where he was reading out the statistics, set forth by the Department of Standards of Sorcery Equipment, and how a lot of these… lesser brands are falling fractions short of the standard, and poor Goku just nodded off into his turnips.
"I-I'm really sorry about that," Goku said, blushing. "I guess I was more tired than I thought."
Harry had to bite his lip this time, to keep his laughter contained.
"Mr. Crouch said it was a brilliant report!" Percy protested. "He complimented me several times on the complete thoroughness of it. That's why he's given me this one to do." He looked at Harry. "You'd be surprised at some of the things we've been discovering about imported wands. Some of them don't even have a decent core. We even had one brought to us that was made of plastic! It's my job to make sure that all of us in the Ministry are aware of this problem and the best way is a good, thorough report on all the problems and suggestions for what can be done!"
"It's also a great way to make sure the members of the cabinet have something ready to start fires with," Fred said.
"Not to mention that you never know when you might need a nice thick bunch of papers to transmogrify into toilet paper," George agreed. "So good of you to keep the Ministry supplied."
"I don't even know why I bother!" Percy said, getting very exasperated.
"Us either." George said.
"Boys," Mrs. Wesley's voice had risen dangerously high. "I think that's enough."
When dinner was finished and the kitchen picked up, the twins and Percy disappeared to their rooms. Percy, to finish work on his report, the twins… well, who really knew what happened in their room, but there were usually lots of explosions. Everyone else went into the living room.
Harry and Ron played Wizard chess. Ginny and Goku looked through the Weasley family album. Apparently, Goku was still fascinated by the fact that in Wizard pictures, the people actually moved. Mrs. Weasley darned socks, while Mr. Weasley read the Daily Prophet.
"You heard from… anyone interesting?" Ron asked quietly as they were playing.
Harry knew Ron was asking if he'd heard from his godfather, Sirius. He nodded. "A couple times," he murmured, just as quiet as Ron. "Nothing very interesting to talk about there. I wish he could write more often, but it's risky."
Ron nodded.
It was later than Harry was used to being up, when Mrs. Weasley finally announced that they should all go to bed. "It will be a busy day tomorrow," she said as she ushered them out of the room. "Best you all have your wits about you. We've got a lot to get done."
The three boys went to Ron's room, which all of them were using. "I wonder if I should say good night to the ghoul," Goku pondered.
"Nah, I think he'll will live without a good night kiss," Ron joked and looked at Harry. "He actually goes to the attic and talks to it."
"Well, sure," Goku said. "He lives in the house too, doesn't he? And he told me he gets lonely up in that attic all the time."
While Harry had heard a lot of noise coming from the attic, Harry himself had never met the ghoul responsible. It never really occurred to him to go in the attic and check him out.
"I shouldn't complain though," Ron continued. "Ever since he started going up to chat with him every day, it's been a lot easier to sleep."
"I just asked him nicely if he could stop making so much noise when we were trying to sleep," Goku said modestly as he peeled off his shirt. "He didn't seem too keen on the idea at first, but after a bit, he saw my point."
Harry was staring at Goku, without meaning to. Minus his shirt and jumpsuit, Harry realized that Goku was a very muscular boy. In fact, he looked rather like the pictures Dudley had in his weight lifting magazines, a fad he had tried a few years ago, when he wanted to convince folks he wasn't fat, he was 'muscular'.
Goku seemed to have achieved what Dudley had tried for. Harry had to admit though, that Dudley hadn't tried very hard. You could scrape the dust off the special equipment in the basement that had been bought for Dudley to "work out" with. If he plays Quidditch, he'd make a darned fine beater, Harry thought.
Ron and Harry changed into their pajamas. Goku just took off his clothes and slid into his bed.
"You should have seen when he first got here," Ron whispered to Harry as they climbed into their beds. "He didn't wear underwear at all. Said he never saw a need for it. Mom put a stop to that quick, I can tell you that."
Harry tried not to laugh as he settled down to sleep. He could imagine the look on Mrs. Weasley's face when she found out that little fact about Goku.
"It must be a lot different living here," Harry said to Goku. "Compared to where you're from, huh?"
All that answered Harry was a soft snore. Goku was already sound asleep.
End of Chapter Three