CHAPTER TWENTY - THE STITCHES
"No."
"Please mommy? Pleeeeeaaazzz?!" She was following her around.
"No. We don't need a puppy. You make a mess enough as it is."
Agatha stopped. Her fists going to her side. A bitterness crossing her little face. She'd woken up grumpy.
Lara stopped. Spun around. And mirrored it with a stuck out bottom lip. Showing her defiance.
"I'll cry." She threatened.
Lara waved the rag she was cleaning with. Before spinning back around. "Cry away."
Unsatisfied. "I'll scratch you." She bared her fingernails. Imagining them as sharp as those extinct tiger's she'd seen in books. From school.
"You scratch me and you don't come out of your room for the rest of the day." Lara countered.
Agatha flopped back on the couch. Defeated. "But mooooooom!" She whined.
But Lara didn't stop to bother. Just kept cleaning.
Agatha crossed her arms over her chest. "I'll run away."
"You have nowhere to go." Not missing a beat.
Agatha was desperate now. "This is why daddy left you!"
This stopped Lara. And made her turn. Pain in her eyes. Stiffness in her back. Anger in her heart. She'd tried to forget.
Too soon.
"What did you just say?"
"Daddy left because of you! It's YOUR FAULT I'm a bastard child!" The onslaught of tears had begun. The dam lifted. With one little thread. At Agatha's disposal.
Lara's jaw dropped. "Where did you learn that word?!" She came towards her. And Agatha backed up the bottom of the stairs.
"Nikky..." The moth had come too close to the flame. Some dust had fallen from her wings.
Lara's hand went out like an old-time traffic block. Her finger stiff to the top of the stairs. "Go to your room, right now! And think about what you just said!"
Agatha's face fell. Broken. As she began to cry. Harder. "Mommy, I'm sorry!" Her old routine. Tears streaming. As she stretched out her arms. Ready to embrace her mom.
Bawling. Wailing. Crying up a storm.
"No. Agatha. Get your butt up to your room before I spank it!" That sent Agatha staggering away. Screaming and crying hysterically.
She broke into a run. Sucking air. Treading tears. And she stomped hard up each step. Pounding down the hall.
"You're in there until I say so!" Lara yelled. Calming her emotions down. Instantly. She'd learned to do that over the years. Easily.
She heard the door slam. Hard. And she flopped down into the couch. Throwing the rag down. "Fuck..." she whispered beneath her breath.
Tears rushing forward. Her emotions not as in check. As she would have liked. Before she straightened herself up.
She heard a sniff from above her. And wiping away the tears. Turned. Seeing Agatha's head peeking out. Her cheeks glossy. And red.
"Your ROOM Agatha!" Lara yelled. So loud she almost scared herself.
"I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT CATCHER'S AWAKE!" She screamed back. In a fit of hysterics. Before she bolted away. Disappearing with another slam of her door. Following her heavy feet.
Lara rubbed the side of her head. Pausing for a moment. Before she let her emotions out with a heavy sigh. And turned to go up the stairs.
She found Catcher on the side of the bed. Head down. Face in hands. Still shirtless. The sheets thrown askew.
She sniffed back what was in her head. And came towards him. "Catcher?"
He looked up. Awake. And better than before. But still slightly pale. Looking skinny. His breath labored. Somewhat.
"Why were you yelling?" He asked. Slowly. Almost a whisper.
Lara shook her head. Shrugging. "It happens sometime. We usually have a clash of opinions."
She looked at him. Sitting there. With his head back in his hands. "We should get you something to wear. And eat. Aren't you hungry?"
"Not really."
"You haven't eaten in a long time, Catcher. You've got to eat something. And it's probably not helping with you being sick." She went to the closet. Her presence turning on the automatic light. It chirped. As she pulled out the shirt cupboard.
She picked up one of John's shirts. Dark. And blue. With a big white star on the front. Old-school. One he hadn't worn for a long time. So his smell wouldn't be on it. Too much.
She smelled it anyway. Burying her nose in it. Smelling him. Or imagining so. Pretending to smell him. Still nestled in the clothes.
She came back out. Collected. Only to see Catcher collapsed back across the bed. Arms above his head. Legs loose. Eyes closed.
She noticed the gauze. Still taped across his chest. The bruising was probably gone now.
She noticed the way his chest moved. As he breathed in slowly. And exhaled even slower. Holding onto each breath. For just the right amount of time. Relaxed. Completely.
She noticed the dark hair running down from his bellybutton. Disappearing down into his pants. Glistening in the sun.
She cleared her throat. To clear the thoughts away. And came forward. "Here." She offered. Throwing it on his chest. "You can wear this."
He lifted his head. Getting those little wrinkles in the side of his neck. And chin. The ones that made Lara's heart speed up. She had a thing for those little wrinkles.
She coughed into the back of her hand. Slowing her heart back down. Coming forward again. Reaching out her hand. "Here," again.
He looked at her. Grabbed for the shirt. Then her hand. Letting her help him up.
"Scoot." She pulled him forward. So that his legs were off the corner of the bed. Feet touching the floor. And she knelt down.
His smell swept over her. Nearly knocking her over. That musky. Slightly unwashed smell.
"We can probably take that off." Jeez? Was it hot in here?
She reached up towards the bandaging. And he looked down at it. Licking his lips.
She liked his tongue. How pink it was...how thick it was...how...
She cleared her throat again. Righting herself by shifting herself up. Balanced on her haunches.
"Are you alright?" He had the blue tee shirt crumpled in his one hand. His voice was deep and quiet. Weakened by the sickness. And the lack of food.
"Yeah..." she fended. Peeling back the dressing. To reveal the stitches. Holding together connected skin. Healed. So far as she could tell. With her expert opinion. Anyway.
"We should cut those," she stood up fast. Swallowing hard as she turned. "I'll get some scissors."
She went into the master bathroom. The lights coming on. As she went to the mirror. And looked at herself in it. Not believing the feelings running through her.
She bent down. The water came on. And she splashed it cold on her face. Trying to wake herself up.
Well. It kind of worked.
Drying her face off quickly. She rummaged for her small scissors. And came back out of the bathroom. Holding the scissors. As if she was going to sell them.
Catcher was where he had been. Now with his eyes partially closed. A slight cringe on his face.
She came to him. "Are you alright?"
"Yes." He came up. Eyes popping open. Extinguishing the cringe. And sitting straight up.
Lara kneeled down in front of him. Reaching out carefully to slide the scissors beneath the stitches edge. And clipped.
The stitching had broken down. Till it was about half the width of dental floss. Now it only needed to be pulled out.
She set down the scissors. And felt something tickle her forehead. But both her hands were busy. One pressing against the stitching. Making sure it didn't tear anything. While the other pulled at it. Lightly.
She tried to wink the tickle away. But that only made it tickle more.
Suddenly. A shadow came up over her face. And her eyes rolled. To find Catcher's finger at her forehead. Just above her brow. Scooping up the water drop. That the towel had missed.
He wiped it dry with his thumb. Before pulling his arm back in. She looked into his eyes. Smiling slightly. "Thank you."
He nodded and smiled in return. As she turned back to her work.
She pulled slowly. Her eyes flicking up. On occasion. To watch his lip in his teeth. "Am I hurting you?" She asked.
"No." He straightened. Remaining strong.
She pulled. Until finally his hand came up. And weighted on her wrist.
"What's wrong?"
He sighed. Almost as if it were a crime to say it. "It tickles. A lot."
A nervous. Anxious. Unabated. Laugh came out. Unwanted. Unstopped. And she tried to cover it. Pulling her hands. And unfortunately. The rest of the thread.
He came forward with it. The shirt dropping to the floor. His head dropping into her neck as he laughed. A whispery laugh. That was silenced when his lips. Touched the skin of her neck. Soft.
And he kissed her deeply. Her eyes closing. As she felt his breath. His teeth. His tongue.
She pulled away with another laugh. Breathy too. Through her nose. Tucking the smile into her lips. Trying to hide the joy.
His hand went to his chest. Feeling the spot. Where the stitches had been. "It tingles..." he said. Smiling slightly too. But not trying to hide it. Like she did.
She got up. Pulling the wadded shirt with her. And nodded. Embarrassed. For liking what he did. So soon.
"It probably will for a few moments. I don't think they're suppose to come out like that." She locked her lips. To keep in the giggle.
And he grinned up at her. Her rosy cheeks. Powdered by a blue bruise.
She batted his head with the shirt. To beat down his smile. Playfully. "Get dressed. I'm taking you downstairs to get something to eat." Before turning away. The smile breaking through. Teeth touching the air.
She escaped into the bathroom. Shutting the door behind her. And leaning back against it. Her hand going up. Touching where he'd kissed her. Feeling it hot. And slightly moist.
'Get a hold of yourself!' she yelled in her head. Throwing the scissors into the drawer. And the stitching into the trash. Next to the toilet.
As she came back out. He was just pulling his head through the top. Rolling it down his belly. It was tight. But loose enough to be comfortable.
God he looked good. That blue shirt brought out his eyes. Made them glow. At least one of them.
"C'mon." She turned towards the door. Intent on being in front. In case more smiles came. To play.
Then she heard a whimper from behind. And turned just as he caught himself from falling. His hand on the bedpost.
She sigh-laughed. Exhaling through her nose. "You're all helpless, aren't you?"
She came back. And let him put his arm around her shoulder. Helping to support him.
"I guess so." He smiled.
And as they walked together. She couldn't get over his smell.
"No."
"Please mommy? Pleeeeeaaazzz?!" She was following her around.
"No. We don't need a puppy. You make a mess enough as it is."
Agatha stopped. Her fists going to her side. A bitterness crossing her little face. She'd woken up grumpy.
Lara stopped. Spun around. And mirrored it with a stuck out bottom lip. Showing her defiance.
"I'll cry." She threatened.
Lara waved the rag she was cleaning with. Before spinning back around. "Cry away."
Unsatisfied. "I'll scratch you." She bared her fingernails. Imagining them as sharp as those extinct tiger's she'd seen in books. From school.
"You scratch me and you don't come out of your room for the rest of the day." Lara countered.
Agatha flopped back on the couch. Defeated. "But mooooooom!" She whined.
But Lara didn't stop to bother. Just kept cleaning.
Agatha crossed her arms over her chest. "I'll run away."
"You have nowhere to go." Not missing a beat.
Agatha was desperate now. "This is why daddy left you!"
This stopped Lara. And made her turn. Pain in her eyes. Stiffness in her back. Anger in her heart. She'd tried to forget.
Too soon.
"What did you just say?"
"Daddy left because of you! It's YOUR FAULT I'm a bastard child!" The onslaught of tears had begun. The dam lifted. With one little thread. At Agatha's disposal.
Lara's jaw dropped. "Where did you learn that word?!" She came towards her. And Agatha backed up the bottom of the stairs.
"Nikky..." The moth had come too close to the flame. Some dust had fallen from her wings.
Lara's hand went out like an old-time traffic block. Her finger stiff to the top of the stairs. "Go to your room, right now! And think about what you just said!"
Agatha's face fell. Broken. As she began to cry. Harder. "Mommy, I'm sorry!" Her old routine. Tears streaming. As she stretched out her arms. Ready to embrace her mom.
Bawling. Wailing. Crying up a storm.
"No. Agatha. Get your butt up to your room before I spank it!" That sent Agatha staggering away. Screaming and crying hysterically.
She broke into a run. Sucking air. Treading tears. And she stomped hard up each step. Pounding down the hall.
"You're in there until I say so!" Lara yelled. Calming her emotions down. Instantly. She'd learned to do that over the years. Easily.
She heard the door slam. Hard. And she flopped down into the couch. Throwing the rag down. "Fuck..." she whispered beneath her breath.
Tears rushing forward. Her emotions not as in check. As she would have liked. Before she straightened herself up.
She heard a sniff from above her. And wiping away the tears. Turned. Seeing Agatha's head peeking out. Her cheeks glossy. And red.
"Your ROOM Agatha!" Lara yelled. So loud she almost scared herself.
"I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT CATCHER'S AWAKE!" She screamed back. In a fit of hysterics. Before she bolted away. Disappearing with another slam of her door. Following her heavy feet.
Lara rubbed the side of her head. Pausing for a moment. Before she let her emotions out with a heavy sigh. And turned to go up the stairs.
She found Catcher on the side of the bed. Head down. Face in hands. Still shirtless. The sheets thrown askew.
She sniffed back what was in her head. And came towards him. "Catcher?"
He looked up. Awake. And better than before. But still slightly pale. Looking skinny. His breath labored. Somewhat.
"Why were you yelling?" He asked. Slowly. Almost a whisper.
Lara shook her head. Shrugging. "It happens sometime. We usually have a clash of opinions."
She looked at him. Sitting there. With his head back in his hands. "We should get you something to wear. And eat. Aren't you hungry?"
"Not really."
"You haven't eaten in a long time, Catcher. You've got to eat something. And it's probably not helping with you being sick." She went to the closet. Her presence turning on the automatic light. It chirped. As she pulled out the shirt cupboard.
She picked up one of John's shirts. Dark. And blue. With a big white star on the front. Old-school. One he hadn't worn for a long time. So his smell wouldn't be on it. Too much.
She smelled it anyway. Burying her nose in it. Smelling him. Or imagining so. Pretending to smell him. Still nestled in the clothes.
She came back out. Collected. Only to see Catcher collapsed back across the bed. Arms above his head. Legs loose. Eyes closed.
She noticed the gauze. Still taped across his chest. The bruising was probably gone now.
She noticed the way his chest moved. As he breathed in slowly. And exhaled even slower. Holding onto each breath. For just the right amount of time. Relaxed. Completely.
She noticed the dark hair running down from his bellybutton. Disappearing down into his pants. Glistening in the sun.
She cleared her throat. To clear the thoughts away. And came forward. "Here." She offered. Throwing it on his chest. "You can wear this."
He lifted his head. Getting those little wrinkles in the side of his neck. And chin. The ones that made Lara's heart speed up. She had a thing for those little wrinkles.
She coughed into the back of her hand. Slowing her heart back down. Coming forward again. Reaching out her hand. "Here," again.
He looked at her. Grabbed for the shirt. Then her hand. Letting her help him up.
"Scoot." She pulled him forward. So that his legs were off the corner of the bed. Feet touching the floor. And she knelt down.
His smell swept over her. Nearly knocking her over. That musky. Slightly unwashed smell.
"We can probably take that off." Jeez? Was it hot in here?
She reached up towards the bandaging. And he looked down at it. Licking his lips.
She liked his tongue. How pink it was...how thick it was...how...
She cleared her throat again. Righting herself by shifting herself up. Balanced on her haunches.
"Are you alright?" He had the blue tee shirt crumpled in his one hand. His voice was deep and quiet. Weakened by the sickness. And the lack of food.
"Yeah..." she fended. Peeling back the dressing. To reveal the stitches. Holding together connected skin. Healed. So far as she could tell. With her expert opinion. Anyway.
"We should cut those," she stood up fast. Swallowing hard as she turned. "I'll get some scissors."
She went into the master bathroom. The lights coming on. As she went to the mirror. And looked at herself in it. Not believing the feelings running through her.
She bent down. The water came on. And she splashed it cold on her face. Trying to wake herself up.
Well. It kind of worked.
Drying her face off quickly. She rummaged for her small scissors. And came back out of the bathroom. Holding the scissors. As if she was going to sell them.
Catcher was where he had been. Now with his eyes partially closed. A slight cringe on his face.
She came to him. "Are you alright?"
"Yes." He came up. Eyes popping open. Extinguishing the cringe. And sitting straight up.
Lara kneeled down in front of him. Reaching out carefully to slide the scissors beneath the stitches edge. And clipped.
The stitching had broken down. Till it was about half the width of dental floss. Now it only needed to be pulled out.
She set down the scissors. And felt something tickle her forehead. But both her hands were busy. One pressing against the stitching. Making sure it didn't tear anything. While the other pulled at it. Lightly.
She tried to wink the tickle away. But that only made it tickle more.
Suddenly. A shadow came up over her face. And her eyes rolled. To find Catcher's finger at her forehead. Just above her brow. Scooping up the water drop. That the towel had missed.
He wiped it dry with his thumb. Before pulling his arm back in. She looked into his eyes. Smiling slightly. "Thank you."
He nodded and smiled in return. As she turned back to her work.
She pulled slowly. Her eyes flicking up. On occasion. To watch his lip in his teeth. "Am I hurting you?" She asked.
"No." He straightened. Remaining strong.
She pulled. Until finally his hand came up. And weighted on her wrist.
"What's wrong?"
He sighed. Almost as if it were a crime to say it. "It tickles. A lot."
A nervous. Anxious. Unabated. Laugh came out. Unwanted. Unstopped. And she tried to cover it. Pulling her hands. And unfortunately. The rest of the thread.
He came forward with it. The shirt dropping to the floor. His head dropping into her neck as he laughed. A whispery laugh. That was silenced when his lips. Touched the skin of her neck. Soft.
And he kissed her deeply. Her eyes closing. As she felt his breath. His teeth. His tongue.
She pulled away with another laugh. Breathy too. Through her nose. Tucking the smile into her lips. Trying to hide the joy.
His hand went to his chest. Feeling the spot. Where the stitches had been. "It tingles..." he said. Smiling slightly too. But not trying to hide it. Like she did.
She got up. Pulling the wadded shirt with her. And nodded. Embarrassed. For liking what he did. So soon.
"It probably will for a few moments. I don't think they're suppose to come out like that." She locked her lips. To keep in the giggle.
And he grinned up at her. Her rosy cheeks. Powdered by a blue bruise.
She batted his head with the shirt. To beat down his smile. Playfully. "Get dressed. I'm taking you downstairs to get something to eat." Before turning away. The smile breaking through. Teeth touching the air.
She escaped into the bathroom. Shutting the door behind her. And leaning back against it. Her hand going up. Touching where he'd kissed her. Feeling it hot. And slightly moist.
'Get a hold of yourself!' she yelled in her head. Throwing the scissors into the drawer. And the stitching into the trash. Next to the toilet.
As she came back out. He was just pulling his head through the top. Rolling it down his belly. It was tight. But loose enough to be comfortable.
God he looked good. That blue shirt brought out his eyes. Made them glow. At least one of them.
"C'mon." She turned towards the door. Intent on being in front. In case more smiles came. To play.
Then she heard a whimper from behind. And turned just as he caught himself from falling. His hand on the bedpost.
She sigh-laughed. Exhaling through her nose. "You're all helpless, aren't you?"
She came back. And let him put his arm around her shoulder. Helping to support him.
"I guess so." He smiled.
And as they walked together. She couldn't get over his smell.