Disclaimer: I do not own any of Star Wars, however, I do own my ideas and concepts.
Summary: This is just a little vignette dealing with Leia Organa Solo, and her outlooks and perspectives after becoming a Jedi Knight, preventing an Eternal War, and of course, being a wife and mother…
"Sleep well Han," I say to my husband as he rests on his beloved ship. I tell him that I'll be in bed shortly, that I just wanted to go sit in the cockpit, and mediate for a little bit. As I walk towards the cockpit, I smile to myself due to all of the memories him and I share, the narrow escapes, long nights of passion, and even longer flights across the galaxy.
I hug the entranceway to the cockpit, letting my headrest against the cold durasteel of the doorframe. I hate when I get like this; this cold contemplative state where all my past comes back to me, floods me with memories and emotions. It's not all bad, I mean, the memories of Han and I together overflow and fills with me a peace that not even the Force has yet to do.
But with the sweet, comes the sour, and I remember all the pain of my life. To say that one moment was more painful than the other is hard, I mean, how does one compare the loss of a father and a planet, to the loss of a child? Father, Anakin, I miss you both so much…There use to be nights I would be alone, crying by myself, wishing, praying that there was some way to bring one of you back. I fear tonight may be one of those nights, but I know better as I sit down in the modified chair, that once was the lovable carpet known as Chewbacca.
Damn…that war took so much from me, from my husband, and from the galaxy. So many good people died for what? Religious zealots determined to turn us into slaves? No, I push those thoughts aside, taking in a breath of relaxation. They are in a better place now, a place where they are surrounded by everyone they cared for, individual but united, they are the Force…
I think about my days as Chief of State; I was so arrogant then. But I guess that we all were back then, thinking that we were invincible against the galaxy, that we were shielded by this bubble that protected me, Han, Luke, Jaina, everyone, from harm…But that all changed the day Chewie died…
Now I know better, I have learned so much since then, since starting my Jedi training…and it only took me thirty some odd years to become a Jedi Knight. I know I'll never be the Jedi Knight that Luke was, or even that my children are! But Saba, or should I say, Master Sebatyne, you were, and are a wonderful instructor and I thank the Force for your tutelage, not to mention, your hard training has certainly improved Han and my sex life. So for that, I think Han will be forever thankful.
It seems every time I catch my breath, the galaxy is on the brink of an eternal war, and this last one with the Killik's wasn't any different. But I know it has changed us all, for better or worse I have yet to know. I worry so much about Jacen and Jaina, their bond is strained somehow, I wish I there was something I could do. And Jacen is hiding something from us all, I wish he would trust me more. But if there is one thing I know about my son, is that he does what he does for a good reason.
I guess I still have a big lesson left to learn from Master Sebatyne: humility. I can't save everyone, help everyone, and am not that damned important, no matter how hard I try…