How to Cope
Chapter 3
Slowly they started walking. There was no particular destination. Ami looked up to see one of the students from her Physics class walking with his girlfriend. She knew Makoto would see what she was talking about really soon.
"Look at Ami with her girlfriend. What happened? Did Usagi dump you? I don't blame her." He laughs. "Homos."
Ami simply ignored it. But Makoto went on the defensive. "Who the hell do you think you are? Why can't you simply leave her alone?" Makoto took a swing at him, hitting him square in the jaw.
"Can't even fight your own battles. Little prick." He just laughs and walks away, rubbing his jaw.
Ami fought back the tears that stunk her eyes. "Do you see what I mean? That's what I go through everyday of my life. Only it's minus all the violence."
They round one last corner and Ami sees where they're heading. She tried to run off, but Makoto had a hold of her hand, not letting it go anytime soon.
"You gotta let them know sometime. And if you don't, I will. You may not realize it, but you have friends, and they care about you. God, Ami, I just saved you, from well, yourself." Makoto's temper was consuming her.
Ami hangs her head and agrees to tell them. She had to fight back her tears again. Makoto tightened her grip on her hand as they climbed the steps to the shrine.
"You ready?" Makoto silently asked before sliding open the door.
Ami nods and the door is slid open. The room quieted down at the sight of Ami's still red eyes and face.
"What's up?" Minako broke the silence.
And with that, Ami couldn't hold it in anymore, she just started crying, drawing gasps from the groups. None of them had ever seen her like this.
Ami had whispered something to Makoto before taking a seat at the end of the table.
"What's wrong, Ami? What this situation that Makoto was talking about?" Rei was the brave one to ask.
She took a few deep breathes before answering. "She saved my life." She started out, "She grabbed my hand after I pushed myself off of my balcony railing." She let her tears come.
Everyone looked at Ami, then at the person who had saved her life.
"But why? Why would you wanna do that? What's wrong?"
"Usagi, remember when we were walking away from the school, how they were calling us 'homos'. Well that's not the only time it's happened to me. They call me that all the time. Only because I've got two male friends, Mamoru and Yuuichiru, and the rest are female, being all of you. They also call me a bastard. Because of me father dying in a car accident before I was born. I still forgot how that got out. But they're saying that he committed suicide just to get away from me." She pauses to look around at their blank expressions. Taking another breathe, she continued, "I've tried to tell them to leave me alone, but they just laugh at me. My mom laughs at me and calls me crazy, only because I asked her about me suffering from depression. She says that I'm to young to be diagnosed with it. I want to tell her that I hate her. But I can't. I can't bring myself to do it. And it doesn't help that I haven't seen her in the past week. She works to much." She felt a warm hand on her shoulder, she looked back and saw Makoto smiling at her. "The kids at school." She started her next to last statement. "They never leave me alone for simply being at the top of our class. And it just bothers me to always be alone. And I just don't care about anything anymore." She clenches her fists in her pants and cries her heart out.
Nobody knows what to say. They were all in shock over the comments of Ami. She felt alone, but she had never shared her loneliness with anyone. She just kept it inside and now look what happened to her.
"How come you didn't share with anyone?" Usagi fought back tears of her own.
"Because I felt alone in the world. That you all are just my friends because you feel sorry for me. But after what Makoto did, I've learned different about you all. Thanks for listening." she takes note to Rei's silence.
"I don't care what you say, you're staying with me the next few days. You can just tell your mother that I was upset and you wanted to comfort me." Makoto says.
Ami gets up and is trying to leave when Rei says something, "Can I talk to you for a moment, alone."
"Sure."
She led her out of the room and to a door further down the hall. She looks at her. "Before you go, I want you to tell me what you wouldn't say in there."
"But I didn't-"
"-Ami, I know when you hide something. You've done it before. And you were doing it when you were talking about your father. What is it?" she puts her hands on her shoulders.
"I…I wanted to be with him. I know I've never met him, But I miss him." She spitted out. "Are you happy?"
"That's all I wanted to hear." Rei let her back out to get Makoto and leave…
Chapter 3
Slowly they started walking. There was no particular destination. Ami looked up to see one of the students from her Physics class walking with his girlfriend. She knew Makoto would see what she was talking about really soon.
"Look at Ami with her girlfriend. What happened? Did Usagi dump you? I don't blame her." He laughs. "Homos."
Ami simply ignored it. But Makoto went on the defensive. "Who the hell do you think you are? Why can't you simply leave her alone?" Makoto took a swing at him, hitting him square in the jaw.
"Can't even fight your own battles. Little prick." He just laughs and walks away, rubbing his jaw.
Ami fought back the tears that stunk her eyes. "Do you see what I mean? That's what I go through everyday of my life. Only it's minus all the violence."
They round one last corner and Ami sees where they're heading. She tried to run off, but Makoto had a hold of her hand, not letting it go anytime soon.
"You gotta let them know sometime. And if you don't, I will. You may not realize it, but you have friends, and they care about you. God, Ami, I just saved you, from well, yourself." Makoto's temper was consuming her.
Ami hangs her head and agrees to tell them. She had to fight back her tears again. Makoto tightened her grip on her hand as they climbed the steps to the shrine.
"You ready?" Makoto silently asked before sliding open the door.
Ami nods and the door is slid open. The room quieted down at the sight of Ami's still red eyes and face.
"What's up?" Minako broke the silence.
And with that, Ami couldn't hold it in anymore, she just started crying, drawing gasps from the groups. None of them had ever seen her like this.
Ami had whispered something to Makoto before taking a seat at the end of the table.
"What's wrong, Ami? What this situation that Makoto was talking about?" Rei was the brave one to ask.
She took a few deep breathes before answering. "She saved my life." She started out, "She grabbed my hand after I pushed myself off of my balcony railing." She let her tears come.
Everyone looked at Ami, then at the person who had saved her life.
"But why? Why would you wanna do that? What's wrong?"
"Usagi, remember when we were walking away from the school, how they were calling us 'homos'. Well that's not the only time it's happened to me. They call me that all the time. Only because I've got two male friends, Mamoru and Yuuichiru, and the rest are female, being all of you. They also call me a bastard. Because of me father dying in a car accident before I was born. I still forgot how that got out. But they're saying that he committed suicide just to get away from me." She pauses to look around at their blank expressions. Taking another breathe, she continued, "I've tried to tell them to leave me alone, but they just laugh at me. My mom laughs at me and calls me crazy, only because I asked her about me suffering from depression. She says that I'm to young to be diagnosed with it. I want to tell her that I hate her. But I can't. I can't bring myself to do it. And it doesn't help that I haven't seen her in the past week. She works to much." She felt a warm hand on her shoulder, she looked back and saw Makoto smiling at her. "The kids at school." She started her next to last statement. "They never leave me alone for simply being at the top of our class. And it just bothers me to always be alone. And I just don't care about anything anymore." She clenches her fists in her pants and cries her heart out.
Nobody knows what to say. They were all in shock over the comments of Ami. She felt alone, but she had never shared her loneliness with anyone. She just kept it inside and now look what happened to her.
"How come you didn't share with anyone?" Usagi fought back tears of her own.
"Because I felt alone in the world. That you all are just my friends because you feel sorry for me. But after what Makoto did, I've learned different about you all. Thanks for listening." she takes note to Rei's silence.
"I don't care what you say, you're staying with me the next few days. You can just tell your mother that I was upset and you wanted to comfort me." Makoto says.
Ami gets up and is trying to leave when Rei says something, "Can I talk to you for a moment, alone."
"Sure."
She led her out of the room and to a door further down the hall. She looks at her. "Before you go, I want you to tell me what you wouldn't say in there."
"But I didn't-"
"-Ami, I know when you hide something. You've done it before. And you were doing it when you were talking about your father. What is it?" she puts her hands on her shoulders.
"I…I wanted to be with him. I know I've never met him, But I miss him." She spitted out. "Are you happy?"
"That's all I wanted to hear." Rei let her back out to get Makoto and leave…