Endgame
Summary: A game of cat and mouse led Elizabeth through Atlantis, skills she never possessed, like those to fire an automatic weapon, or take out six guards in six seconds her captor did with ease.
Spoilers: Conversion, The Long Goodbye
He wonders what she meant, when she told him he was hopeless. It was a snide comment, but the way she said it, it made him frown, wonder if there was a hidden meaning he had missed. It was something she never usually would say aloud, and he can't stop to think for a second if perhaps he was not speaking to Doctor Weir as he had been told, or if the melding of their consciousness had simply cause all of her usual inhibitions to go flying out the window. He shakes it off, she asked him to do something and he would never say no to a personal request. He steps up to the machine, waddling slightly forward, slightly afraid. And that's when white light erupts in his vision and he falls into darkness.
When he wakes, he yawns, tired, but feeling no different. Well, he tries to yawn. He realizes in a split second he can't move. He can feel himself talking, feel the cotton of his shirt against his skin, the tightness of the boots on his feet, but he can't move. Someone else is here, and totally in control. He feels the random thought of the other being and for just a second, he feels a deep flash of hatred. Burning red and painful. It's only a flash, and John feels sickened by it once it's gone.
Elizabeth is standing opposite him identifying herself as Phoebus and John focuses on her, not on the pressure he feels in his skull, as if something is crammed in there, pressing tightly against his mind. Elizabeth is talking, moving toward him and John suddenly feels numb. Elizabeth is kissing him. Part of him feels sickened, the part that is Thalan, the other part, John Sheppard, can't help but feel guilty that he is actually enjoying it. It ends way to fast for his liking, and when it's over, he feels that if Thalan wasn't in control, his legs would buckle. Suddenly, as they look into each other's eyes, he knows something is different. His heart is pounding and he knows something big is about to happen. True intentions are about to be revealed. And John Sheppard and Elizabeth Weir are about to realize they are directly in the middle of the crossfire.
Elizabeth had been screaming at her counterpart since this entire debacle began. When she had passed out from looking in the stasis chamber, she had realised so very quickly she wasn't in control of her own body. Phoebus, a woman turned slightly mad since her war began, was fooling Elizabeth's own friends into believing she was harmless. When they asked to speak to Elizabeth on her own, and Phoebus agreed, Elizabeth was overjoyed. Perhaps this hardened soldier wasn't as bad as she had originally thought? All of these thoughts flew out of the window the minute Phoebus began her charade of pretending to be Elizabeth.
Surely, Elizabeth wondered, her friends would notice that it wasn't Elizabeth speaking at all, but just an impersonator? But they didn't, and when John agreed to be host to Phoebus 'husband' Elizabeth felt like being sick. She screamed for John to hear, but he didn't, Phoebus had convinced him she was Elizabeth Weir and the real Elizabeth had to watch in horror, well aware from Phoebus taunting, what was about to happen. John was taken over, and within minutes, Phoebus was using Elizabeth's deeply hidden feelings against her. When she felt her mouth crush against John's own, she felt a rush of exhilaration. And disgust. She was getting the chance to kiss John, but she knew it wasn't him. It was an alien, using John's body for his own agenda, just like her own. Now she knew what Caldwell must have felt like. Trapped in your own body, forced to do unthinkable things, knowing you have no control at all.
A game of cat and mouse led Elizabeth through Atlantis, skills she never possessed, like those to fire an automatic weapon, or take out six guards in six seconds her captor did with ease. All the while taunting Elizabeth with thoughts such as 'I've never before been in such a position of power' or 'your friends have abandoned you to this fate, they now have no choice but to hunt us down, killing you along with me'.
When she shot Ronan, it was just a flash, it was like in her mind, time was going faster. When Phoebus announced she had plans to release Halon Gas into the living quarters, Elizabeth screamed, if she had been in full control of her own body, she would have been punching and kicking, biting and scratching. Instead all Phoebus felt was a small tremor as she continued on. When she announced to Teyla John was to be killed Elizabeth felt cold despair. She inwardly slumped and knew everything was over.
John watched Thalan bargain with Teyla when Phoebus ordered him to be killed, telling her John cared about her more then she knew. Teyla stared at him, he was like a brother to her, he knew because John felt like Teyla's older, yet mentally younger brother himself. He could imagine Ronan's face is he heard John saying things like he was to Teyla and mentally shuddered. But Phoebus was threatening to release Halon Gas into the quarters and John knew Teyla had no other choice. How would Elizabeth be feeling at the moment? Alone? Afraid? He was afraid. And he knew it. He had one day hoped to go out in his sleep, at the ripe old age having seen his grandchildren grow up. Or if not, he had one day hoped that at least to die in a blaze of gunfire after single handedly taking out the entire Wraith population. Instead he was going to be executed as a traitor and a threat to the Atlantis base.
When Teyla looked at him, rifle aimed and ready, he was sure it was his end. Inside he had screamed, but now he had fallen into a quiet realization. Thalan talked to him in his consciousness, a simple 'I'm sorry' That spoke volumes. John realised then, as Thalan let him into his mind, fully, of what had happened to his home planet. He was a solider, like John himself, and Thalan had lived on a world of a great many people, just like Earth, but not as advanced. When Phoebus people came through the Stargate, Thalan's people welcomed them, but they had been betrayed, Phoebus race was bloodthirsty, and Thalan's world had been slow to defend themselves. Many we're killed. When his governments decided to send in a bomb to Phoebus's world, they did, and nearly all of her race was extinguished. Only a handful remained, but they were highly skilled soldiers, and Thalan's race we're only small in number and unskilled.
All the men were taken to another world and trained in the ways of a soldier, and only then did they have a fair chance. Her people were beyond angry that his own people had defended themselves, and when her and her fighters attacked, Thalan and his own used their own ships to fight right back. The war was long and seemingly endless. Then one day, Thalan and Phoebus, who had been leaders of their survivors, met to talk of peace on another world. It had been a trick, and fighters attacked, wiping everyone of Thalan's people, except himself from existence. He was captured, tortured for a time until he escaped in one of Phoebus own fighters. Phoebus, livid, followed in pursuit, and the resulting battle left both ships without life support and the pods we're jettisoned, leaving them both to float in space for seemingly eternity, with no one to find them.
Then suddenly Teyla lowered her gun, and John felt Thalan weaken. Convulsions began and his last words were "You can't let her win." Before Thalan fell into oblivion, and John fell into darkness.
Elizabeth walked to his unconscious body, feeling suddenly hollow, as Phoebus made Teyla move over, the minor pain of the beginning of convulsions pushed aside as she walked apon her prey. Satisfaction ran through her every step and although Elizabeth screamed it was John not Thalan, Thalan was dead, Phoebus wanted to see the light die from those brown eyes and see the red blood run as the final whoop of victory ended her life. She screamed and yelled, but although Phoebus was weaker, stumbling with every kick Elizabeth tried from inside her mind, it wasn't enough, and Phoebus raised her gun to end the battle, as Elizabeth felt cold and numb.
Then suddenly John Sheppard, who was apparently unconscious, sat up, apology written in his eyes as he used a stunner that came from no where and Elizabeth thankfully felt into darkness.
John covered his ears as the shouts of Phoebus pierced his ears. She was in her final stages, she was holding on in pure spite, the convulsions started hours ago and since then her screams of pain drilled into his head on the bed next door. Carson wanted to move him away, but John didn't allow it, he had to be here for Elizabeth, through Phoebus screams and insults. He hoped to god Elizabeth couldn't see or hear, he hoped she was asleep, or unconscious. His hands were pressed into his ears so tightly his head was throbbing, as Phoebus screamed and taunted.
"YOU WILL NEVER GET HER BACK!" punctured his ear block to his ears, "I WILL CHEER WHEN YOU FALL TO YOUR DEATHS!"
John cursed. Carson had given her medicine enough to knock out three elephants, but Phoebus still held on with cruel intensity, her screams only getting more and more hateful. It was almost three o'clock in the morning when Phoebus began gasping, the end for her near. John climbed from his bed and to her side, where she glared.
"She will never be yours. She is too good for you, Sheppard."
John, cold, grabbed her hand.
"You lost Phoebus. The battle is over and your side lost."
Her hand weakly scrabbled for his throat, but it was too late, she fell back into her pillow, unconscious, as her breathing evened out and John knew Elizabeth was back.
Everything was going to be alright.
Elizabeth yawned, scrubbing her hand over her face. Carson had let her out of the infirmary two days ago, and although she was slightly tired, she had spent the majority of the day apologizing to everyone she wronged during her time host to Phoebus. Most of them told her it wasn't her fault, but she still felt she had to apologize for the actions she caused.
The one person she had missed during the last few days was John. He had vanished from the infirmary the same day she had, and although he had two weeks off from off-world duty, as she did from being leader of Atlantis at Carson's demand, she was surprised he hadn't visited her at all. She felt slightly hurt, and worried. Was it all her fault? Did he hate her now? Was he afraid? Of her?
She stood up and walked from her quarters, wondering down the empty hall with a sigh. Just as she had turned the corner, she bumped into someone, if it hadn't had been for the arms grabbing her shoulders, she would have fallen backwards. Looking up, her breath caught, seeing the brown eyes John Sheppard peering at her in concern.
"Are you okay?" He asked quickly, and Elizabeth smiled wanly.
"Yeah. I'm okay."
"I was just coming to find you." He said quickly, taking a step out of her personal space and letting go of her shoulders. Elizabeth suddenly felt cold.
"Oh?" Was all she asked.
"Yeah." John said, visibly wincing. "Do you wanna watch a movie with me?"
Elizabeth stared at him, her eyes roving his own for a sign that he was afriad, or at least disturbed. She found nothing but honesty staring back.
"Uh…okay?" Surprised to say the least, she let him grab her hand and pull her to the lounge, finding it surprisingly empty and feeling oddly like this had been planned way beforehand. A bowl of popcorn sat on the table with a variety of Earth snacks to which Elizabeth was surprised, before he sat her down and returned with two mugs of hot chocolate.
"Thanks." Was all she said as the movie started. She didn't even know what they we're watching, his leg against hers as they sat together on the couch making her stare from the corners of her eyes.
Suddenly the silence was thick.
"I'm sorry." John said slowly, turning to face her as she did the same. Elizabeth raised an eyebrow.
"What for? You we're under the control of Thalan."
John shook his head.
"You'll hate me when I tell you. I shot you. When Phoebus came to get me, Thalan was gone and I shot you with a stunner."
Elizabeth smiled at his soft, apologetic eyes.
"Don't apologize John. You did the right thing. Anyway, a stunner blast doesn't hurt at all as much as a bullet, which you would have suffered if you hadn't of stopped me."
"Stopped Phoebus you mean." John said, an eyebrow raised. Elizabeth smiled sadly, grabbing his hand.
"Yeah."
John narrowed his eyes at her. "Elizabeth..."
She looked back at him.
"Look John. How can you accept me? I did all those things - I tried to kill you..."
John sighed as Elizabeth looked away, his hand grabbing her chin and pulling her head back around gently to look at him.
"Look...Elizabeth. When I turned into the bug, I tried to kill you. I wanted to kill you. I strangled you and if I hadn't have managed to stop myself at the last second, you would be dead and we wouldn't be having this conversation. I hate myself for it, but you forgave me because you knew it wasn't really me."
Elizabeth looked at him, a small smile playing at her face as she realised where he was going.
"It wasn't you Elizabeth." He said gently, running a finger along her cheek, "Someone else was just using your body just like they used mine. You have nothing to apologise for, but if you need to hear it anyway, I will tell you, justlike you told me when I needed to hear it. I forgive you."
Elizabeth smiled, tears in her eyes.
"Thank you John."
John grinned, a large goofy grin that made Elizabeth laugh, as the both turned back to the movie, smiles on their faces.
"John…" Elizabeth said suddenly after a few minutes of focusing on the movie."Is this Mr. and Mrs. Smith?"
John grinned as Elizabeth shook her head.
"Pass the popcorn Sheppard."
Yup, everything was fine.
Fin.