Chapter 30 Whisper Words of Wisdom

The next morning was chilly but bright, the perfect autumn Saturday. Lucas was awake at dawn but remained lying in bed, trying not to wake his fitfully sleeping wife. It was almost eight when Peyton opened her eyes; that was sleeping in according to her clock. If he hadn't known better, Lucas would have thought he'd woken up beside his wife's sixteen-year-old self. She avoided his whisperings of 'good morning,' ducked away from his kisses, and got out of bed without saying a word. Luckily Lucas had been prepared for such a reception; he knew that avoidance was her way of dealing with things she didn't particularly want to think or talk about. He started breakfast while she showered and they ate in silence, Lucas reading the newspaper while she sketched rapidly in one of her books. After the dishes were done, Lucas decided he was finished allowing Peyton to direct the day.

"Come on," he said simply as he reached for her hand. She looked up at him strangely, as though she were looking at someone she'd just met instead of at her husband of thirteen years.

"I want to stay here," she said sullenly, her eyes darting back to her drawing.

"There's plenty of time to sulk later. Come on, we're going out—"

"Lucas! I want to be alone."

"Should have thought of that before you started a family," he goaded her.

"Lucas, I'm serious."

"So am I. You're stuck with me. Now get your shoes." Ten minutes later, she was sitting in the passenger side of Lucas's SUV, her arms crossed in front of her like an angry teenager. Her mood wasn't at all lightened when they pulled up the drive of the Tree Hill Cemetery. Lucas cut the engine and stepped out of the car, making to her side in less than four strides and opening her door. Taking his hand, she stepped shakily from the vehicle and went with him to the back, from where he pulled gardening instruments and several flower arrangements. He carried the tools and she the flowers.

When they finished, Lawrence and Anna Sawyer had the most beautiful graves in the whole cemetery. They also stopped to place a few flowers on the coach's grave on their way out. Peyton was emotionally exhausted by the time she climbed back into the car, much too preoccupied with her thoughts to worry about what Lucas was doing. That was probably how he was able to drive all the way to the beach without her noticing.

Once there, Peyton's eyes welled up with tears as she realized where they were; it was the beach where they spent their first night after Winifred had been born. After returning from the hospital, Peyton had been showing early signs of post partum depression. Instead of panicking like most young fathers, Lucas had handled the situation expertly, leaving his daughter in the care of Karen and Larry while he personally tended to his overwhelmed wife. Not having much financial stability at the time, he had taken her to his father's beach house, which at the time was under the power of his brother Nathan. Now, thirteen years later, it once again stood ready to serve as a shelter through the storm of emotions and ransacked memories.

"Lucas, thank you," she whispered as he approached her.

"I haven't done anything yet," he said, smiling as he lifted her from the car began to carry her toward the beach house.

"You always know what I need," she said. Burying her face in his chest, she snuggled closer and enjoyed the short trip to the living room, where Lucas promptly set her down in front of the lit fireplace. Settling himself next to her, he pulled her into his lap and dropped a kiss on the top of her head.

"I'm all yours tonight." Suddenly, he seemed to remember something and leaned over, reaching behind the sofa. "I have something for you."

"Lucas, you shouldn't have gotten me anything—" Her voice left as she lifted he lid of the box and revealed a photo album. The cover was a soft navy fabric, festooned with buttons in the shapes of fish, boats, and all things nautical. In the center, there was a window that revealed a picture of Larry Sawyer at his happiest, at the helm of a boat with his arm around his wife Anna, standing protectively behind their beautiful young daughter. Tears began to fall as she flipped it open and realized that it was a scrapbook honoring her father; the man as others had seen him. Each page or two was in a different, but always familiar, handwriting. It started with her grandparents, moved into Karen, Keith, each of her friends, and finally her children. It was a beautiful and artistic record of what Larry Sawyer had meant to each and every one of them.

"It's perfect."

"He's always with us, Peyt."

"Thank you, Luke." The evening ended soon after as Peyton and Lucas drifted off to sleep in one another's arms, lulled by the reassuring crackle of the fireplace and the repetitive crash of the waves upon the sand.

Lucas attempted to convince Peyton that she needed more time away from the chaos of their normal lives but she refused, waking up early the next morning and preparing to leave. She was dressed in a black pantsuit, her curly hair tamed into a neat silver barrette. Lucas knew they were headed for church without any verbal warning from his wife. Regretfully forgetting his plans for a nice leisurely breakfast and a few more hours alone with his wife, he dressed in a pair of dark slacks and a royal blue dress shirt.

"We'll just take them home from church," Peyton informed him as they walked out to his car. He nodded, happy at least that she seemed much more cheerful despite the emotional day she'd had. They arrived just as the bells were tolling and quickly made their way into the church, sneaking in as the procession was reaching the altar. They sat in the pew behind the other Scotts and the Jagielskis and knelt, each saying their own private prayers before standing to join in the gathering hymn.

Gretchen had seen them first and was trying to make her way out of her uncle Nathan's grasp so that she could go to her mother. Looking back and seeing his brother and sister-in-law, Nathan handed over the squirming child. As they listening to the priest begin the mass, Peyton watched out of the corner of her eye as Ashton edged his way out of the pew next to his aunt Haley and took a few steps back before unobtrusively moving his way into the pew next to his mother. Before the second reading, Fred and Ryan had found equally quiet and inconspicuous ways in which to sit with their parents.

"I missed you guys so much," Peyton said as she hugged Ryan and Ashton close. She was sitting in the pew, gathering her family around as the rest of the church made a mad exodus.

"Were you all good?"

"Wonderful," Haley answered before any of the kids could speak. "I thought you two would be gone a little longer."

"We had all the time we needed," Lucas answered.

"Then I hope you'll join us for brunch," Brooke said, all smiles. "Jake's taking us to a new restaurant across town."

"Sounds great," Peyton answered for them all, putting her arms around Fred and Ryan as Lucas swung Gretchen onto his hip and took Ashton's hand. It was a wonderful day for them all, spending time with the ones they loved and forgetting, momentarily, about the outside world.

Monday morning came sooner than any of them would have wanted but they all handled it fairly well, getting off to school and work with time to spare. Peyton and Gretchen were settling in for the day when the doorbell rang. "Who could that be?" Peyton posed the question to her tiny daughter as she swept her back up and started walking toward the front door. Entering the front hall, she saw Haley letting herself in.

"Morning Hales," Peyton said, her voice misted over in suspicion. Haley never visited during the day. Granted, she normally was not home during the day, but it still made Peyton nervous.

"Hey girlies," she said, reaching over to tickle Gretchen. "Peyt, how are you?"

"Good. You? Where's Megan?"

"Aunt Haley baby," Gretchen said proudly, looking at her mother for confirmation.

"You've got it, babe," Peyton said with a smile.

"She's with Karen—" Haley started to speak but Gretchen interrupted, continuing her happy babble.

"Gram. Gram. Where Gram?"

"Right here, cutie," Karen said, popping her head in the door. "Peyton, Megs and I are taking a walk. I'd like to take Gretchen too."

"Walk. Mama, Walk with Gram. Walk with Gram. Walk with Aunt Haley baby. Walk mama." Gretchen was trying to catapult herself out of Peyton's arms and toward Karen.

"Alright, alright. You want to go with Grandma. You need your coat." She set the little girl down and, seconds later; Gretchen came running back with her coat. Peyton knelt to the ground and helped her pull on the sort pink coat and then turned her over to Karen, who readily placed Gretchen in the stroller in front of a slumbering Megan. They were down the walk before Peyton could say goodbye.

"Okay, what's going on?"

"I wanted to talk."

"Let's go sit." Peyton led Haley into her den and they sat together on the sofa. "What's up?"

"It's about Laura."

"Okay."

"I don't think you should take her."

"Haley, the system would crush her. She's so fragile. I can't imagine—"

"I want her…"

"What?"

"We want her," Haley corrected herself. "Nathan and I. We've talked about it a lot now. You have enough to worry about and we have more than enough room. And I think it would just make more sense." Haley finished her spiel and Peyton saw a look that surprised her; love. She had simply grown to love that little girl.

"I think," Peyton said slowly, "that might be a wonderful idea. She needs more attention than I can give—"

"I'm not questioning your ability—"

"I know you're not," Peyton interrupted, "but Laura is going to need more time than I can offer. And if you and Nathan think this is something you want to do, I think it's a wonderful idea. Of course we'll have to talk to Laura. And the lawyers—"

"Of course." The awkwardness of their conversation melted away and they spent the rest of the morning talking about their kids and their husbands. Karen returned and made lunch before they even realized she was there. Three generations of the family sat together, sharing a delicious meal and excellent company. When their children were finally tucked into bed that evening, Lucas knew he was in for a discussion. Peyton had seemed to want to speak with him all evening but they had been busy as usual chasing down clothing for the next day, helping with homework, and making sure baths were taken.

Walking into his bedroom, Lucas found Peyton already under the covers and working through something in her sketchbook. He prepared himself for bed, turned out the main light, and climbed in next to her. Leaning close, he saw that she was sketching their children. Not simply their children. Jenny was included, as well as Jared and Megan. And Laura.

"You wanted to talk?"

"Hales stopped by today."

"And?"

"She and Nathan want Laura."

"How do you feel about that?"

"I feel like I've taken on this responsibility and now I'm just giving it up."

"But?"

"But it might be the best thing for Laura," Peyton said softly, laying aside her work and turning to face her husband.

"I think you have your answer then. And Peyton, you're not giving up. You're finding the best home for this little girl. You've already done so much. If this is what you think will be best, I'm behind you."

"And if I think it's best she stays here?"

"I'll start calling contractors in the morning," he answered easily. "We'll need an addition."

"You're perfect, you know that?"

"I'm nothing without you, my love." He kissed her lips and then pulled away, noticing that she was still worried. "I know you Peyton, and you'll make the right decision. And if I know you as well as I think I do, you already have that decision."

The title comes from the Beatle's song "Let it Be." I'm so sorry for the time it took me to update. I have no excuse, but Grad school has kept me busy and I've gotten sidetracked with other writing. I hope someone out there is still reading this. If so, let me know what you think. Thank so much, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!