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Note: This chapter is going to be from Angel's P.O.V. I'm sorry if the story seems to be a little slow, but I haven't worked on it in almost 3 years so I'm just trying to get back into it.
Chapter 6
I moved to a corner on the hotel stairs a while ago. As I sit flipping pages in one of the books Wesley had given to me, I sneaked looks at Darla and Connor. The two of them still sat on the round couch (what is it called?) and were talking in hushed voices. Even with my vampire hearing I was unable to make out the words.
What were they talking about? Me? Holtz? The Beast? There were too many possibilities.
I had moved to my new spot after a couple of looks from Darla and outright glares coming from our son. I could tell Darla wanted to speak with Connor alone. And Connor never liked being around me.
It's probably good that I left my place beside them. Different emotions had been fighting their way to the surface since Darla had first appeared. I wanted to hold her and never let go. I wanted to know why she had returned. Would she be able to stay? I always knew I loved her, but I had tried to pretend I didn't. I had a soul and she didn't. I knew we couldn't be together. But when she came back human, I saw another chance. That's why I wasn't able to let her go. I had to save her because I loved her. In the end I failed and I have never been able to forgive myself. When she returned pregnant with an impossible child I thought it was another chance. She had the baby's soul and it seemed to fit, but that too was just a silly hope. Could it be that this was a real chance for the two of us? Third times a charm and all that nonsense.
As happy as I am to have her back and as hopeful I am for our future, I also feel jealousy. Connor loves her. I don't blame him, I love her too, but it hurts. I have worked so hard to gain just a little trust from him and she appears and is greeted with open arms. It's not fair. I wonder why he doesn't hate her. Did Holtz not foster hate for Darla as well as me? Or is it because she's now human and he is able to accept her easier? I wish I knew the answer. And I wish I wasn't jealous.
But I also feel happiness. Not lose my soul prefect happiness, but a kind of giddy (yes I said giddy) happy. I'm excited that Darla's here. That we might be able to become the family I wanted us to be when Darla showed up here pregnant. I happy that my son has a mother and that he is able to connect with her. I'm happy that my friends are all here and that we can share this together.
And I'm scared. I'm scared that we won't be able to stop the Beast. I'm scared that my friends will die, Darla will be taken away, and that my son will never see me as anything but a monster. I'm scared that this is a dream or another fruitless dream of mine. I'm scared that everything will fall apart. I don't have the best track record.
But I still hope and I still sneak looks when no one is watching as I sit here pretending to research.
Okay, it's short but it's there. I'm sorry if it sucked. I know I kinda jumped around but hopefully it wasn't too hard to follow.
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