Undeniable
Disclaimer: I get no money from writing about these guys. I'm just a broke fanfic author. Oh, and none of the characters are mine. If they were, they'd be in a cage in my basement…if I had a basement
Warning: Lister/Rimmer slash. A.K.A. Lister and Rimmer in rather steamy situations. If this ain't your thing, this ain't your fanfic.
Author Note: This fanfic starts a week after the Demon's and Angels episode and spans into the 6th season. No real spoilers, but if you haven't seen the Legion episode or anything after it, you may wanna wait to read this.
Chapter 1: Flashbacks Can Suck
It had been a week since the High/Low Red Dwarf incident and Lister sat in his room strumming his guitar. Rimmer had already evacuated the area, not wanting to bother arguing to Lister that his guitar playing was the equivalent of a rabid female platypus having a difficult birth. Kryten and the Cat had also taken evacuation actions, the Cat worried that the constant chills falling down his spine would ruffle his hair beyond repair, and Kryten, as loyal as he was to Lister, recalled the last time he sat through a concert of Lister's guitar playing in which his programming was melted to the point where he would stalk backwards while clucking like a chicken to the tune of "Oh Suzanna" in the key of D minor and politely decided not to listen this time.
This rare moment of solitude gave Lister time to reflect back to the High/Low Red Dwarf incident. The notes that flew from his fingers had a bit of a sweet melody despite the bone-chilling lack of tuning as he remembered the conversation he had with High Lister:
"You wanted to speak to me?" Lister said between slurps of the delectable cup of noodle.
"Yes my darling blood brother," said High Lister in that ever dreamy, serene tone of voice of his. "I wanted to speak to you of the relationship between you and Arnold."
"Arnold? Oh, ya mean Rimmer. Yeah, what about it?"
"Well, you may not have been able to tell this just by looking, but High Rimmer and I are companions of the heart."
Lister choked in mid slurp and started coughing. "'Companions of the heart'? What the hell does that mean?"
"I suppose in a lesser terminology, once could call us a 'couple'."
Lister's eyes grew wider than the rim of his cup of noodle. "A COUPLE? Why the smeg would you want to be a couple with Arnold Judas Rimmer?"
"The Arnold that you know of is a more suffering version of my beloved Arnold. He dwells on his failures instead of seeing them as reasons to improve upon himself. My beloved sees life not as a constant reminder that he is not worth anything, but as a lesson that one continues to learn so long as they live. Even his death does not discourage him, but humbles him in the grand scheme of things. We do not argue as you and your Arnold do; instead we discuss our differences calmly and try to see the other's point of view. My beloved is a pure as a babbling brook spawned from the melting of the ice at the end of winter."
"Oh that's just sick," Lister spat. "There's no way that someone like me could be with a smeg head like Rimmer."
"Being as the two of you are now, no. To finally see that you are meant to be together will take self-improvement on both of your behalves. However, I would be glad to help you reach the necessary enlightenment to make things be as they are predestined to be while you are here so that things can be in the proper alignment preordained by a higher being than ourselves."
Lister shook his head violently, making the dreadlocks tied to the back of his head smack his in the face. "No. Way. Not happening. I'd rather lick the Cat's litter box than shack up with Rimmer."
High Lister merely shrugged, maintaining the ever present blissful smile on his face. "You can deny it all you like brother, but you shall never know true happiness until you realize Rimmer is your destined love. Why else would he and not your ex-lover Kristina Kochanski be brought back as a hologram to spend your time in space with?"
"Alright, I've had enough of your babbling brook of nonsense. I'm steadily losing my appetite for this delectable cup of noodle, and if it's okay with you, I'd rather keep eating it than discuss why Rimmer and I should be shacking up together."
"Suit yourself, brother," said High Lister, spreading his hands open wide. "You can live in denial as long as you deem it worth doing. Just do not let your denial drive you to the brink of madness. I bid you adieu for now."
With a smooth bow and a sweep of his robes, High Lister walked away, allowing Lister to finish his cup of noodle. Before going back to the heaven which was the cup of noodle in his hands, he muttered "Smeg head…" under his breath.
Lister stopped playing for a moment and thought about what High Lister had told him. Why was Rimmer resurrected as a hologram instead of Krissy Kochanski? Things would have been much more pleasant if Krissy were the one he shared a bunk with instead of Rimmer. The cold nights in space would definitely have been easier to pass by with her warm body curled up next to his as opposed to Rimmer's high pitched, irregular snoring echoing throughout the night. But really, Rimmer wasn't all bad all the time. He did have those rare, few and far in between moments when he's actually be a tolerable bloke to be around. But after those 5 seconds were up, he went right back to be the annoying smeg head that made his blood boil.
Lister shook his head and went back to strumming his guitar, this time playing a darker, edgier song. The tone of the song still wavered into the unbearable region, but the mood of the song made it sound at least a little better. As he strummed minor chords on the guitar, he recalled the moment he met Low Rimmer:
Lister watching in horror as Low Rimmer sauntered down the stairs, his hair dark, greasy and short, piercings glittering off his face, a feather boa lazily draped around his shoulders, and his pale body clad in the kind of outfit you'd see at a burlesque show. The color drained from his face as he saw the crooked smile that spread across Low Rimmer's face as he looked Lister up and down.
"Well," Low Rimmer said in a low, gruff voice, "Aren't you the delicious little tart?"
"Wha…what do you want?" Lister stuttered, unable to hide his fear.
"I want to hurt you. I want to make you bleed. I want to see you cry tears of agony as you beg for mercy. But most of all," Low Rimmer stopped just inches from Lister's face, breathing a smell of stale alcohol and garlic so rank even Lister couldn't bear it, "I want to make you tremble in pain and pleasure. I want to have you, over and over again, until you pass out from exhaustion." Low Rimmer grabbed Lister's pale face with his hand, adding, "I want to taste your skin…" before licking Lister's cheek.
Lister pushed Low Rimmer off of him and fell back onto the ground, crawling backwards, desperate to get away. Despite his fear though, he could feel something welling up in his loins, a feeling he hadn't felt in ages. Lister whimpered in fear and confusion, not knowing why he was feeling what he was feeling. Low Rimmer chuckled darkly as he stalked over to Lister and placed a stiletto clad foot onto Lister's crotch. He rubbed Lister's crotch slowly with the flat part of the sole, listening as Lister let out a small shaky moan. Low Rimmer's smirk grew bigger as he then pressed the heel of the stiletto into Lister's crotch. Lister's moan transformed into a cry of agony as a sharp piercing pain filled his joy department.
"That's right," Low Rimmer said breathlessly, his hand roaming to his crotch and squeezing. "Let me hear you cry out. Let me hear your pain!"
Lucky for Lister, the other Lows showed up at that moment, preventing him from enduring anymore more of Low Rimmer's sadistic actions. They hit him on the head and then everything went black.
Lister had stopped playing in the middle of the flashback and was staring out into space. He noticed in dismay that the flashback had brought a cold sweat to his brows and made his trousers fit uncomfortably tighter. He flung his guitar off of him and onto the bunk. He put his head in his hands and sighed. 'What the hell's wrong with me? Why am I thinking about those incidents? Have I been stuck in space without a girl for that long?' he thought to himself. He flung himself down from the bunk and went to the sink. Turning on the cold water, he splashed his face in an effort to snap himself out of this weird mood. He looked at himself in the mirror, no longer sure of the person looking back at him. He shook his head and went back into his bunk. After putting his guitar in it's case and replacing it in its corner of the room, he pulled the covers over his head and decided to get some sleep to try and rid himself of the thoughts that plagued him.