Summary: Recca, Kagero, and a SI are placed in the world of the Nine Tails

Crossover: Flame of Recca, Naruto

Disclaimer: I don't own what other people do. I do own me, though.

Feedback: Sure thing... I like hearing how I can improve :)

Pre-fic Comments:

Why yes, yes I do suck at summaries and names.

ranma hibiki: I think I read the idea somewhere else... not sure. Anyway, it appealed to me :)

Alex DarkFire: Chouji is stuck between Recca and Fuuko. Given Fuuko's rivalry with Recca, he'll either get depressed and stop training, or he'll feel challenged and train more. You have to feel sorry for Hinata, though -- either she develops a spine or she is lost beneath the noise that Domon and Kiba generate... as a bonus though, I can't see Domon allowing anyone to pound on someone that he thinks is okay.

TimeReaper: Is this soon enough? :)

Maximufive: I'm really, really bored at the moment so I'm trying to write when I get bored. Naruto is clearly plotted enough that I can write relatively quickly... make me make up plot and I write a great deal slower, I assure you.

"'Kaasan?," I said at breakfast, before it was served. "Kakashi-sensei said for Naruto and me to not have breakfast this morning."

"Really?," Kagero-kaasan said, a secret hidden in her eyes.

"What gives?," I asked. "You know something."

"Hayate-sensei told my team not to have breakfast either," Recca spoke up.

Naruto, Recca and I looked at each other.

"Okaasan, please put some of my breakfast rice into my bento?," I asked firmly. If Kakashi was jerking us around, then boom, breakfast on the spot, but otherwise I was still safe.

"Me too?," the other two asked.

"Naruto?," Kagero-kaasan called out as we were about to walk out the door, bento and backpacks in hand. "Play nice with the other kids today."

"And Matora, look after your brother!," Shigeo called out as well, teasing us.

I groaned, looking at my watch. "Man... it's ten o'clock already!"

"Kakashi-sensei sure is late," Naruto said.

"Well... might as well have breakfast," I said, bringing out the extra bit of rice okaasan had given me.

"Sugoi!," Naruto cheered, stomach grumbling like crazy. He pulled out his own, and started eating.

"Don't give me that look," I grumbled.

"I'm not looking at you!," Naruto shot back.

"No, Sasuke-baka," I explained. Looking down at the small box, I saw that half of the rice was gone. I thrust it at him. "Here, you might as well finish it off."

"Kakashi-sensei said not to eat breakfast," Sasuke said.

"If we throw up, we throw up," I said.

Naruto didn't say anything, as he was finishing off the rest of his breakfast.

Right after we had put away the boxes, Kakashi finally turned up.

"Hey guys, good morning!," Kakashi said cheerfully.

"YOU'RE LATE!," all of us poor Genin said.

"Well, there was this ladder, and I had to detour around it, so," Kakashi began.

"I guess you're not such a good ninja if that's such a hassle," I said acridly.

Kakashi ignored me, bringing out a clock, which he set on a treestump. "Okay, it's set for noon. Here are two bells -- your task is to take them from me before noon. Those who cannot get a bell before noon... get no lunch. I'll not only tie you to one of those stumps, I'll eat right in front of you."

All three of us grinned at this. So that was why he had told us not to eat! I frowned slightly -- did he know that we had had a bit to eat earlier?

"You only need to get one bell," Kakashi continued. "There are only two, so one of you will definitely be tied to a stump. And... the person who doesn't take a bell fails. So at least one of you will be sent back to the Academy. You can even use your shuriken -- you won't succeed unless you come at me with intent to kill."

"It doesn't worry you that a few homicidal genin will be after you?," I asked.

"Yeah, you're so slow you can't even dodge a blackboard eraser!," Naruto laughed. "We'll kill you!"

"In the real world, those with no talent often bark the loudest," Kakashi said, eye half lidded. "Well, ignore Mister Dead Last, and start when I say."

Naruto growled out loud at that.

"Okay, ready... start!"

I sighed.

Naruto had gone for the straightforward 'try to smack the crap out of him' approach. I got a damn good laugh out of Kakashi's 'Hidden Leaf Ancient Taijutsu Supreme Technique: A Thousand Years Of Pain', though, and made a mental note about it.

Sasuke had gone the same route, but with fire jutsu. Kakashi settled for burying him in the ground up to his neck, rather than poking him up the ass.

"Well, ready to work with me?," I asked Naruto.

"... yes," Naruto admitted. He knew from past experience when doing big pranks that help, like from Recca and I (hypothetically, of course), meant that things were a damn sight easier.

"Let's go round up Sasuke, and I'll outline a plan," I said.

A few minutes of digging and hauling later, the three of us were argueing under a tree.

"Look, Sasuke, it's eleven damn well thirty," I yelled, pissed. "Work with me, goddammit!"

"What about the bells?," Sasuke asked. "Who goes without?"

"Well, if I take them, I've gotten them, and if I pass them to you two, then you have gotten them too," I said. "He didn't say that we had to all hold them at the same time we got them, ne?"

Evil grins sprouted on their faces. Hallelujah! There was hope for Sasuke yet! (I wasn't stupid enough to say this out loud, though.)

"What do we do? What? What?," Naruto asked eagerly.

"I want you two to start fighting Kakashi, distracting him while I go for the prize," I said. They would be the obvious idiots, as I termed the positions mentally. "After I've gotten the bells, run back here."

"Okay! Let's go!"

Kakashi absently read his book, senses honed to see whether his three students were going to attack.

"Oraaaaaa!," Naruto roared, leaping at Kakashi with fist outstretched.

He dodged it easily, turning the page. Then moved unexpectedly, as Sasuke joined him. Well, he didn't think that would happen. Now, where was the third member?

As he moved about, dodging the strikes of Naruto and Sasuke, I slipped into the shadow-world near the area, falling beneath the black surface like a stone dropping into a calm pool.

Wherever there was shadow, I could see out into the real world, but wherever there was light, I could see nothing. A rapidly moving confusion of shadows jumped about -- Kakashi-sensei, Naruto, and Sasuke, obviously, as they moved and thus caused their shadows to move. I assumed that the middle collection of shadows was Kakashi, and grabbed hold of one of the windows to the real world so I could reach out.

Kakashi moved all the harder as he felt an unseen person grab hold of him, somewhere, as my hands moved from the shadows of his bum bag to his waist, grabbing the two bells. Once this had been done, I let go and moved through the shadow world to where we had agreed on the plan.

Kakashi was honestly surprised. He hadn't thought that they would be able to take the bells from him, as Naruto and Sasuke had argued like cats and dogs. But they had, and so neatly that he hadn't noticed which one took them.

It was a shame that Matora hadn't tried to attack him at all.

He was therefore surprised when all three walked out of the woods.

I held the two bells up clearly so he could see them, handing one each to Sasuke and Naruto.

"Well done," Kakashi said simply. "How did you get them, Sasuke, Naruto?"

"We didn't," Naruto laughed, hands behind his head. "Matora did!"

"I didn't know you had an invisibility technique," Kakashi said. Those were rare.

"I don't," I replied. "I can move through shadow, though."

"Ahhhh, I see," Kakashi said. "Like your mother's Eikai Ball. Well, Naruto and Sasuke pass, but--"

"--Ahhht!," I interrupted. "I got two bells -- got -- then I passed one each to the others, who both got a bell. So we all got bells, just not at the same time."

"Well, at the moment, Naruto and Sasuke are the only people who 'got' the bells," Kakashi said. He held up some rope.

I scowled from where Kakashi had tied me up. He'd pronounced that, due to trying to manipulate him, we all had to retake the test during the afternoon. But, since I was the only one not holding a bell during said manipulating and rule-bending, I got tied up with no lunch. Personally, I thought it was damn hypocritical of Kakashi to say so, given that we were ninja and not samurai, but he said that he made the rules.

"Stupid goddamn useless lameass goat f/ck/ng sensei!," I screamed to heaven. "Give me my goddamn bento!"

Sasuke sighed, then held his bento that Kakashi had given him up to me.

"Er, didn't he say not to feed me?," I said.

"If you don't get anything to eat, you'll just make noise and give us away later on," Sasuke said, holding his bento up.

"Go, Matora-niisan!," Naruto cheered, holding his bento up to me with both hands.

A blast of smoke appeared in front of us all, as Kakashi-sensei appeared with a foul mood apparent in his eye. "What's this? YOU GUYS..."

We all covered our faces. Well, those of us lucky enough to be able to.

"Pass," Kakashi finished with a far too pleasant gleam in his eye.

That evening, we all discussed our day at the table.

"... and then he said that we pass!," Naruto said, excited.

"And how was your day, Recca?," Shigeo-tousan asked.

"Interesting, I guess," Recca said. "We had to get those bells, too, but Chouji convinced us to work together since he was scared stiff of having to do it on his own."

"How'd you do it?," I asked.

"Fuuko nailed Hayate-sensei's feet to the floor, Chouji sat on him so he couldn't escape or use hand seals, and I took the bells since I'm better than Fuuko," Recca grinned smugly. "We did it quicker than you!"

"Well, if Naruto and Sasuke-baka hadn't tried to do it on their own first, we'd've beaten you," I complained.

Kagero laughed. "He's going to hear about it from Hatake tonight."

"You know him, 'kaasan?," I asked.

Kagero nodded. "I've done a few jobs for Hokage-sama with him."

"What do you think we're going to do tomorrow, bro?," Naruto asked, excited. "Guard an important person, steal secret documents... oooh, or assasinate someone!"

Kagero hid a smile behind a hand.

"Knowing my luck, we'll be digging ditches," I predicted morosely.

"Dammit, Matora! Why'd you have to jinx us last night?," Naruto bitched me out as we shovelled potatoes.

"It wasn't my fault!," I claimed.

Babysitting. More farm work. Shopping -- at neighbouring villages, just for the extra exercise. Walking dogs.

Truly, being a Genin sucked ass.

And, to add insult to injury, Kakashi didn't actually teach us anything. He didn't help on those so called 'missions, either. No, he supervised, as he put it.

"Teach us something, you stupid moron!," I yelled at him as Team Seven met on the bridge one morning. He was late, as per usual.

"Teach? But we still have these missions to do," Kakashi said, holding up some printouts.

"I don't give a good goddamn about old lady Yamanaka's flowerbeds, I don't give a shit about the Inuzuka dogs, and if I ever see another goddamn garden, Konoha is gonna have a few more areas of devastation!"

"You tell him!," Naruto cheered.

Sasuke stayed quiet, of course. He still had to live with Kakashi.

"It's just as well we don't have to do any of that, then," Kakashi said.

"Oooo, ooo, C-Rank mission?," Naruto asked, excited. "Oh, I bet it's a B-rank!"

"We're not that lucky," I muttered.

"All the tourists left trash in Konoha River, so we have to clean it up!"

Which was why, that evening, I was back in the Konoha Public Library.

And as soon as I found a fitting punishment, Kakashi was going to get it. Ooooo, genjutsu to cause temporary impotence... perfect for our hentai of a sensei.

"Recca doesn't have a perverted idiot, no, Recca gets a sensei who actually teaches," I muttered.

Dammit.