It was a clear night and the full moon was shining brightly. It was not uncommon for the people of the village to hear the howling of a wolf at this time of the month. The mob of people from the village took pitchforks and lit torches and marched into the forest that was right next to the village. They reached the center of the forest when suddenly, they saw...a werewolf eating Kentucky Fried Chicken! The people cried out:
"AAAAAHHH! WEREWOLF!"
"Kill him! Shoot him!"
"He stole my sheep!"
"He kidnapped my children!"
"He ate my McDonald's Big Mac and now my Kentucky Fried Chicken!"
"Here doggie! Fetch the stick!"
The whole mob ran forward together and threw weapons at the werewolf, who was almost trampled in the crowd while fighting the people. Suddenly, there was a shot and the werewolf fell down dead before transforming back into...the president!
"No! How could it be?"
"Mr. Vegg E. Tareyan is a werewolf!"
"Well, you know the poem about werewolves from the movie The Wolf Man.
Even a man who is pure in heart
and says his prayers by night
may become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms
and the autumn moon is bright."
The next day, Talbot, who was one of the people who had gotten close to the werewolf during the fight, looked at a bitemark on his hand.
"I can't believe this! I'm a veterinarian. If my patients bite me like this all the time, what good of an animal doctor am I?"
A few weeks later, at evening when there was a full moon, Talbot suddenly felt dizzy and dropped unconscious. A few seconds later, he woke up.
"What happened?" He thought. "I was fine just an hour ago."
A nurse who was tired and sleepy from working too much, walked into the room. "Doctor, what big eyes you have!"
"The better to see you."
"What big ears you have!"
"The better to hear you with."
"And what big teeth you have!"
"The better to eat the cafeteria food which is just impossibe to chew. What exactly do they put in that stuff, anyway?"
The nurse suddenly came to her senses and screamed, "AAAAAHHH! WEREWOLF!" and ran for her life.
Talbot looked around frantically, "Werewolf? Where?"
He rushed to the receptionist and asked, "What's all this about a werewolf?"
The receptionist just screamed "AAAAAHHHH! WEREWOLF!" and ran for her life.
Talbot was annoyed, "Where? I don't see a werewolf anywhere. You should go to a psychiatrist."
Then he happened to look in the mirror and saw a creature with a wolf's head wearing glasses, a sthescope, and a veterinarian's lab coat. "AAAHHH! WEREWOLF! Wait a minute! I'm the werewolf! Which means the people are going to kill me!"
Meanwhile, word was spreading around that Talbot was a werewolf.
"Talbot, a werewolf? But he's the kindest and most helpful person in the village!"
"Another werewolf? Kill him! Shoot him!"
"I'm tired of these monsters running around. First, there was Count Cuckoo-la, then there was the Mindless Horseman, then the Creature from the Smelly Lagoon, …"
"Someone keep those Kentucky Fried Chickens locked up in a bank vault!"
"Where are those silver bullets?"
Talbot ran into the forest to hide, just after he stole some meatloaf from the nearest restaurant. "What am I going to do? I'm a werewolf! The people are going to kill me!"
Just then, he saw the mob coming toward him, yelling at him.
Talbot yelled, "Wait! It's me, Talbot! I won't hurt anyone!"
The crowd didn't listen to him, so he just ran away. One hour later, the crowd couldn't find him, so they all went back home. Meanwhile, at the new president's house, the president's daughter heard the doorbell ring and opened the door to find a tall, pale-faced stranger dressed all in black who talked in a Transylvanian accent.
"Pardon me, madam. I am from the Vlad Health Monitoring Agency. I need to talk to the president about the market having too much goods containing garlic. It is very unhealthy."
The daughter, Lucy, replied, "I'm sorry. He left with a crowd of people into the forest. Something about a werewolf or something."
Suddenly they heard a wolf howl.
The stranger said, "Children of the night. What music they make. You must be new here, aren't you? I've been here before, and I don't recall seeing you. I bid you welcome to this town."
"Thank you. We just moved in a few weeks ago. Perhaps you could wait for my dad. He'll probably be back in a minute. Would you like me get something for you? Coffee?"
"No, thank you. I never drink coffee. There is only one drink that I love." The stranger moved closer to Lucy.
"Wine?"
The stranger paused, "Well, I guess you can say that there are two drinks that I love." Holding Lucy close to him, he opened his mouth, and two fangs extended and suddenly fell out of his mouth.
"Oh no! I forgot about those cavities that were destroying my teeth. My dentist had specifically told me to brush my teeth every day."
"Get away from her!" A voice suddenly yelled. Lucy and the vampire turned around and saw a creature with a wolf's head wearing glasses, a sthescope, and a veterinarian's lab coat. They both yelled, "AAAHHH! WEREWOLF!"
"Lucy! It's me, Talbot! I won't hurt anyone! I'm not a monster!"
The vampire answered, "Yes you are! You are a werewolf, so you are a despicable monster!"
"You're the monster. You were going to kill her!" The two began to fight each other as Lucy watched them while eating popcorn. The vampire jumped into the air and delivered a karate kick in slow motion. Talbot poked the vampire's eyes with two fingers.
The vampire held out his fist. "What's this?"
"A fist."
The vampire slapped his fist with his other hand, swinging his fist in a circular motion above his head, landing the fist on Talbot's head. The two continued to fight like the Three Stooges, until the sun started to come up.
The vampire turned into a bat and said, "I'll get you next time, Van Helsing, uh, I mean werewolf. Next time!"
Just then, the mob led by the new president arrived and saw the bat.
"It's a bird!"
"It's a plane!"
"No! It's my pet bat, Fuzzy!" A little girl answered. Everyone stopped to look at her.
"Um, can we get back to the story here?" she asked.
The sun's rays hit the bat and he cried out as he dissolved, "NNNOOOO! I'm melting! I'm melting!"
Meanwhile Talbot had become dizzy and fallen down unconscious. He woke up a few seconds and saw that he was human again. The mob shouted at him:
"AAAAAHHH! WEREWOLF!"
"Kill him! Shoot him!"
"He stole my sheep!"
"He kidnapped my children!"
"He ate my McDonald's Big Mac and Kentucky Fried Chicken and the meatloaf too!"
"Here doggie! Fetch the stick!"
"Wait a second, everyone!" Lucy said. "Talbot did absolutely nothing wrong. As a matter of fact, he just saved my life! How can you even think about killing him? He didn't even hurt anyone! How can you all be prejudiced against him just because he's a werewolf?"
Everyone was quiet as they realized that Lucy was right. After all, Talbot was a great friend.
"I think there's a solution to my lycanthropy," Talbot said. "Can't wolfsbane be used to hinder my transformations?"
"That's a good idea." Lucy agreed. Everyone agreed that it was a good idea. They were friends with Talbot again and were sorry for their hostility towards him.
"We'll always be your friends. Werewolf or not."
"Sorry for causing you trouble."
"Thanks for saving Lucy's life. We didn't know Count Cuckoo-la would be back."
"Let's have a party!"
"Uh, excuse me." Everyone turned to see a man completely covered in bandages. "I just woke up and found myself in a museum of ancient history. I was wondering if you could show me the way to the pyramids."
Everyone stared for a minute and then screamed, "AAAAHHHH! THE MUMMY!"
The End