Chapter 10: Hell Hath No Fury

Rimmer walked into the panel room, a look of total misery clinging to his face. He didn't know what happened in there. He finally got something he'd wanted since as far back as he could remember...perhaps since always. Someone loved him. Someone gave a damn about him. Someone wanted to share their life with him. And what did he do? He did exactly what he always did. He screwed it up. He couldn't just accept the fact that for once something good was happening for him. He had to turn it into something horrible, something heart-wrenching. Maybe this was why his life had been so craptastic. Not because he was fated to be a waste of a human mind, body, and soul, but because he himself turned everything foul.

His bitterness, his sadness, his loneliness...none of it had to do with Fate. It had nothing to do with his upbringing or his parents or anyone else. It instead had everything to do with him being a complete and utter gimboid who couldn't take a good thing for what it was.

He took a seat next to Kryten and put his head on the table. Kryten, being a rather observant android, said, "It didn't go well, did it?"

Rimmer sighed and lifted his head. "I'm a complete smeg head, Kryters. He came to me and put his heart in my hands, and what do I do? I throw it aside and tell him it's not real."

Kryten looked confused. Surely even Rimmer could tell when someone was sincere about their love. "Why, if you're here sulking then, where's Mr. Lister?"

"Crying in his quarters no doubt," Rimmer said, looking down at the table, wondering if he himself would cry too.

Kryten lunged out of his chair and clutched Rimmer's neck with his hands. The two fell to the floor with a loud crash. Kryten tightened his hands around Rimmer's neck and started banging his head on the floor. "YOU MADE HIM CRY? YOU MADE HIM CRY? YOU? MADE? HIM? CRY!"

Rimmer gagged, feeling for the first time in a long time what it was like to be unable to breathe. With what little air he had, he said, "I...didn't...mean...to...I was...a...mor...on..." Kryten let Rimmer's head bang one last time before glaring at him, his chest heaving from his fit of rage. He saw, in the corner of his eye, a tear form and fall.

He attempted to sniff, but couldn't get any air into his nose and made more of a snort. Kryten let his grip on Rimmer's neck go slack, but still held his hands there. With the sudden rush of air back into his lungs, Rimmer started to cry uncontrollably, gasping and sobbing and coughing.

Shaking his head, Kryten stood up and held his hand out for Rimmer. Through misty eyes, Rimmer ignored Kryten's hand and wrapped his arms around his waist, the pain of his soul escaping from his mouth in the form of heaving sobs. "I wanted to tell him! I wanted to say that I loved him! I wanted to say I always loved him! That I never wanted him to leave my side! That I could live a million years alone if it meant I could see him at the end!" Rimmer buried his face in Kryten's crotch, tears falling from his eyes.

This threw Kryten for a loop. It didn't compute! Rimmer scorns Lister's confession of love, then starts bawling? Rimmer was notorious for not making much sense, but this topped everything! Going into autopilot, he shakily extended his hand and stroked Rimmer's head. "There there Sir. I'm sure you still have a chance to make amends! Just tell him everything you told me!"

Rimmer shook his head. "No! It's too late for that! I've already screwed things up! I can't fix this! There's nothing I can do to make up for my stupidity!"

Feeling the anger come back, Kryten pulled back and slapped Rimmer. Rimmer's head snapped to the side, but instead of responding, he just hung his head and continued to cry.

"Look at you!" Kryten screamed. "It's no wonder you've had a miserable life, because you are completely spineless! The moment you mess up, you immediately give up hope and don't even TRY to make amends! You just let it stand that something bad had happened to poor pitiful Arnold J. Rimmer and sulk like a baby instead of being a man and admitting you were wrong and trying to make it right! A worthless pit of scum like you doesn't DESERVE Lister's love! You don't deserve ANYONE'S love!"

Kryten stormed out of the panel room, leaving Rimmer alone yet again. He sat there on the floor and cried like a newborn baby. His heart was in pieces. Everything Kryten said was true. He really didn't deserve Lister's love, let alone anyone else's. He curled into a ball and cried his heart out for what seemed like hours.

Finally, when there seemed to be no more tears to cry, he stood up and looked in the mirror on the wall before him. In the mirror, he saw a pitiful man with puffy, red eyes and a tear stained, snot covered face. He saw this reflection of his inner self, and couldn't help but feel rage.

He pulled back and punched the mirror, making it shatter into a million pieces. Ignoring the pain in his hand, he walked out of the panel room and into the empty hallway. He wasn't going to let himself stay this way. He wasn't going to let himself lose Lister. Lister loved him and nothing else mattered, not the risk of failure, not the misery that was his life, nothing.

All that mattered was Lister.

Chicapanzy: Yikes. More angst. Didn't expect that from Kryten, huh? Please review! XD