Disclaimer: I do not own anything owned by Eoin Colfer or anything to do with the Artemis Fowl books or anything like that. I only own what I own/made up/created/ thought of. Got it?

A/N: this is the third chapter. It is Friday night here in NZ, therefore update day. I hope anyone who is reading this enjoyed the celebratory mid-week update. Hehe my school was on TV - something to celebrate. Hope you like this chapter, please review.

Review replies:

potter-Dork: Yes, you are. Thank you. 'Next week' has come quickly, considering that was a mid-week update since it was a school birthday. But it will be a week before the next update, unless I have something else to celebrate.

sergeantstan: thanks. Just warning that as the story progresses the characters get more and more OOC, that's all.

sgarecool: okay, I will not be one of those people who gives up on a story because I have already written this. Each chapter is 3 pages in Microsoft Word. Merci.

Chapter Three

'Oh joy.'

'Holly, please.'

'Can we go and give the mud boy his memories back? At least then things would be interesting.'

'No Holly, we can't. Just be happy to be above ground, please.'

'Yay, we are away from Root.'

'I honestly don't know why I'm your friend if you are this ungrateful.'

'Ungrateful for what?'

'Nothing.'

'What did you say to him?'

'Nothing.'

'You persuaded him to give me this assignment, didn't you?'

'No.'

'Spill.'

'I didn't persuade him to give you the assignment. I told him to stop persecuting you, I might of mentioned you had hardly any magic, then this came up and he gave it to us.'

'You told him what? How could you tell him I had hardly any magic?'

'He would have noticed that you wrapped yourself in cam-foil.'

'That's beside the point.'

'Holly, be calm. We're nearly there.'

Unbeknown to them Commander Root, using the threat of removing carrots from the cafeteria, had forced Foaly to hack into their secure channel so he could listen to their conversation. He knew he would come into it somewhere. Foaly wouldn't have done it if they hadn't both signed contracts saying anything they said at work could be listened to by the Commander if they wished. They had obviously forgotten that clause in their contracts.

Commander Root listened silently to their conversation; he got paler by the second. Holly so obviously hated him, it was scary. She was glad to be away from him, and would bring back that mud boy just to make things interesting. She thought he hated her. After he tried so hard to do the best for her. After he cared so much for her.

Foaly was looking at the Commander with concern. He was getting paler by the second. This was extremely odd for him. Every time Holly said how much she hated him he would give an involuntary shudder. Root was stressing himself out too much. Why didn't he just ease up a bit or admit he liked her?

Finally the Commander seemed to come to his senses. He leaned over to the mike and said into it, in a much quieter voice than usual, 'Short, Kelp, you are approaching the runner. Proceed with caution.'

'Yes, sir,' came the two replies.

'I hope he didn't hear our conversation,' said Trouble laughing.

'Oh Frond, the clause in the contract,' whimpered Holly, paling.

It was then that Trouble remembered the clause that let the Commander listen to any of their conversations; he knew Foaly could have easily hacked into their channel. He understood why Holly was pale; this could be the last straw for her career if the Commander heard her.

The Commander however, did not comment on the conversation as they approached the runner. So they hoped he had not heard.

This was driven from their minds as they approached the runner. He had chosen a very good place to hide, it was a bush area where mud men often hunted deer. If they didn't know better they would have sworn the goblin was setting them up for ambush, but there was only one goblin according the sensors and besides, goblins weren't that smart. Not that they hadn't been outsmarted by goblins before. But that was with Opal Koboi's help, and she was in a coma. So they both proceeded towards the goblin.

To be safe they decided to shoot the goblin from a distance. Their weapons were set to stun. They wouldn't do any harm. And besides, better safe than sorry.

They were right to hold back. The laser blast from Holly's gun simply bounced right off of their quarry. Surprised, Trouble tried to take a shot. His bounced off too. Then suddenly crossfire of mud-man bullets erupted exactly where they would have been if they had gone in closer.

The shooting ceased and they saw several puzzled mud men in hunting gear step towards the now dead goblin.

'Runner dead. Possibly hostile mud-men looking at goblin. We are unsure what caused the laser to bounce off of goblin,' reported Trouble into his helmet mike.

'Right, there is nothing you can do for the goblin. You will be required to wipe memory of this incident from the minds of the mud-men. First put them under the mesmer, do you have enough magic Short? Find out what they were doing. Destroy the body.'

Holly and Trouble drew deep breaths. They landed and drew their weapons. Holly threw off her cam-foil and Trouble unshielded. The hunters turned towards them. As soon as they saw the drawn guns in the elves hands they dropped their guns and raised their hands with the universal sign for 'look, I'm not holding a large murderous weapon'.

The elves stepped forwards. They saw what had caused their laser bursts to ricochet off of the goblin. It was trapped in a net made of fishing line like rope.

Trouble turned to Holly and said in gnomish 'I don't think it was an ambush, I'll put the mud-men under the mesmer though.'

'Affirmative.'

He turned to the mud-men, and asked in a mud man tongue 'Vous parle Francais?' (English translation: You speak French? There is no accent under the c in Francais because I don't think it will show.)

When they shook their heads he asked in English 'You speak English?' The men nodded.

Having established the language they spoke he layered his voice with the hypnotic mesmer. 'What are you doing here? What happened? Tell me everything.'

A/N: The end of another chapter. Please review. Hope it was OK. Next update on the next Friday night here in New Zealand unless I randomly decide to update for celebratory purposes, which is highly likely.