'Almost there, almost there.' Aragorn thought. He had been traveling for a week with the annoying midgets, and the one with the creepy eyes wouldn't stop bitching.

"My shoulder hurts!" he whined for the, as far as Aragorn had counted, 328 time.

"Well," Aragorn fairly yelled, "I could stab you in your other one so you don't feel the other one as much." Much to his happiness, the hobbit paled several shades before shaking his head reverently. He totally ignored the death glare the fat hobbit was sending his way.

Suddenly the sound of horses made themselves know as the small group stopped for a break. Nine ring wraiths tried to look threatening as the rode from a covalently placed forest, but failed to do so when one of the riders fell off his horse and started cursing in several languages. As the other wraiths snickered at their companion Aragorn came upon a brilliant thought. They only wanted Frodo. He didn't particularly like the ugly little guy and most certainly didn't want to die protecting him so quickly thought a plan.

"Run God damn it!" he yelled before smacking the horse Frodo was sitting on, on the ass making it bolt. The wraiths looked up from laughing at the friend to see the one with the cheap jewelry getting away. They rushed past the unimportant ones, thinking of nothing else but getting the ugly ring. If they failed again they would get a pay deduction and a lecture that would last forever. The hobbit clung to the horses back calling for his mommy as the horse crossed a rived. Suddenly he fell off as the horse as his balance, yet again, failed him. When he finally got up from his face plant he saw all nine ring wraiths across the river looking at it as if it was poison. The reason all there clothes and horses were black was because of there avid hate of bathes.

"Dude you're the youngest, you go!" one said nudging another forward.

"No way in hell! You go!" two said pointing at a third.

"Yeah right, you go!" three said to four.

"That's very funny, you have a great sense of humor, you know that!"

They continued on this way for many hours before he fell asleep, and the elves,
with there superb spy equipment, I mean hearing sent someone to tell them to buzz off. The one who drew the short straw happened to be a lady elf named Arwen. She jumped on a horse and rode over to the river where the wraiths were still involved in there bickering.

"Ya all listen up right now cause I'm only gonna say this once. GO THE HELL AWAY!" she said in a pissed off voice glaring at them.

"Oh and who's going to make us?" said the bold number two wraith.

Arwen raised a eyebrow and whistled. The wraiths burst into fits of laughter and cried in mock horror.

"Oh no! The big bad elf is going to whistle at us, what are we to do!"

She snickered as a huge wave in the shape of penguins and bunny rabbits came and washed all the dirt off the wraiths. As it turned out, under all that dirt they were wearing hot pink robes. With a cry of horror they ran back to Mordor to hide. Arwen shook her head and waked over to Frodo before slinging him potatoes style over her horse and going home muttering something about a missed hair appointment.

I know its short but it's better than nothin right?

Thanks to all 11 of my reviewers you guys rock!

Keep it real

Lj