Chapter 2: It Begins!
(A few hours, reboots, and video card calibrations later)
Player: Finally! Cool cool, nice intro, awesome, alright, let's see... who to chose... well, it's obvious who the best choice is, the one with the most skill: Hot babe with the boobs! AWWWRIIIIIIGHT!
Game: Enter a name for your Amazon.
Player: Let's see... what's a good name... I KNOW! Ice Queen!
Game: Loading...
Player: Alright, let's see how this crappy voodoo 2 handles the game...
Game: (I love your video card! 3dfx ROCKS! Here is a nice constant 40 fps at the highest possible resolution, enjoy the game, my master).
Player: Holy shit! This runs awesome! Alright, let's see. Oh, configure keys... alright, no idea what that command is, no idea why that other one would be useful... why would someone need over a dozen hotkeys... ok... whatever, I'll just configure them when I need them.
Old Man: "Talk to me"... "PLEASE?"... I have a freakin' exclamation point on my head, why won't he talk to me?
Player: I guess I should talk to that guy, he seems desperate.
Old Man: "My name is -", hey don't skip my scrolling text!... "Hi, thanks for talking to me..." "....what? No, that's all I have to say, thanks again".
Player: Hm... figures... useless idiot... Maybe that old lady over there, she seems to have something interesting to say.
Old Lady: "There is trouble about, go kill things and I'll give you some sort of Reward!"
Player: What if I don't want to?
Old Lady: That's all there is to do in the game... go kill things...
Player: Oh... well, I guess senseless killing could be fun, let's go! Hm, but first, let's talk to the armorsmith, he might have some cool weapons.
Armorsmith: "Hi, I have boobs too! Yeah, take that! Oh, and my name is C-"
Player: Whatever, bitch, let me see your junk.
Armorsmith: Well, you don't have money to buy anything good...
Player: Screw you bitch. I'm gonna go kill now. You lucky I can't kill you... (player makes fist and threatens with it)
(Player sets out into the world with his sexy, scantly clad babe wielding nothing but her guts and 2 huge golden globes)
(A few hours, reboots, and video card calibrations later)
Player: Finally! Cool cool, nice intro, awesome, alright, let's see... who to chose... well, it's obvious who the best choice is, the one with the most skill: Hot babe with the boobs! AWWWRIIIIIIGHT!
Game: Enter a name for your Amazon.
Player: Let's see... what's a good name... I KNOW! Ice Queen!
Game: Loading...
Player: Alright, let's see how this crappy voodoo 2 handles the game...
Game: (I love your video card! 3dfx ROCKS! Here is a nice constant 40 fps at the highest possible resolution, enjoy the game, my master).
Player: Holy shit! This runs awesome! Alright, let's see. Oh, configure keys... alright, no idea what that command is, no idea why that other one would be useful... why would someone need over a dozen hotkeys... ok... whatever, I'll just configure them when I need them.
Old Man: "Talk to me"... "PLEASE?"... I have a freakin' exclamation point on my head, why won't he talk to me?
Player: I guess I should talk to that guy, he seems desperate.
Old Man: "My name is -", hey don't skip my scrolling text!... "Hi, thanks for talking to me..." "....what? No, that's all I have to say, thanks again".
Player: Hm... figures... useless idiot... Maybe that old lady over there, she seems to have something interesting to say.
Old Lady: "There is trouble about, go kill things and I'll give you some sort of Reward!"
Player: What if I don't want to?
Old Lady: That's all there is to do in the game... go kill things...
Player: Oh... well, I guess senseless killing could be fun, let's go! Hm, but first, let's talk to the armorsmith, he might have some cool weapons.
Armorsmith: "Hi, I have boobs too! Yeah, take that! Oh, and my name is C-"
Player: Whatever, bitch, let me see your junk.
Armorsmith: Well, you don't have money to buy anything good...
Player: Screw you bitch. I'm gonna go kill now. You lucky I can't kill you... (player makes fist and threatens with it)
(Player sets out into the world with his sexy, scantly clad babe wielding nothing but her guts and 2 huge golden globes)