Diablo 2
Chapter 5: Act 1 - Andariel!
Player: Oh! Whomever this Countess was, she dropped a piece of Spanish History! I got "EL" Rune. Whatever this thing is, I hope it doesn't break into a Salsa song. ("El" means "The")
(Player goes through a lot of senseless killing, and kills the Smith.)
Player: That hammer quest sucked... I get this stupid yellow item that sucks balls...
(Player didn't save the quest reward for later, cause he be a noob)
(Player goes through a lot more senseless killing, and finally reaches Andariel.)
Player: OH! BOSS time! Let's see what this Andariel boss is all about!
(Player sees a lone green shot come his way and hit him...)
Player: OH! The screen turned green! Maybe I get to fight the Incredible Hulk! Diablo 2 rocks! Unlike that stupid Hulk ride in Orlando... man that sucked.
(While player mumbles on and on about how he hates rollercoasters and how he can make better ones in Rollercoaster Tycoon, and how hotdogs cost too freakin' much, his health slowly depletes.)
Player: AAAHHHH! What the hell? That's... POISON! Drink Drink Drink! AAHHHHHH!
(Player sees Andariel... and is about to run away...)
Player: BOOOOOBS! Holy crap, she has chains chained to her nipples! Holy Shit, I just died! Got to... keep... looking... Is she all nude? Can't tell from this angle... OH, she's walking away... hey, nice ass!
(Player eventually decides to stop looking and go get his corpse.)
Player: Oh man, I have to run the entire way back? Stupid waypoint couldn't possibly be further... grrr
(Player finally gets back and learns (the hard way) to always open up a stupid town portal with bosses)
Player: Goddamit, you stupid hireling... you suck! Can't even take a little poison damage... well, I'm on my own against SpiderBoobs!
(After some time, Andariel dies and leaves some treasure behind.)
Player: OH! Another piece of the Spanish puzzle! She dropped a "TAL" rune! Paying attention in Spanish class payed off! I'm on to you Diablo! ("Tal" means "Such")
(Back in town...)
Player: Ok, all set here. On to act 2! Yay!