Hello everyone!!! *crickets* uhh.well I guess that that's ok.seeing as this
is my first fanfic. But when I am famous, I will order all who didn't cheer
for me to throw themselves of the nearest cliff, while holding scissors.
And don't ask about that.I am usually random like that.
I would like to warn you that there will be no Shinji-hating or any romance in these fanfics. So if you like that kinda stuff, then go somewhere else! And now, the moment none of you have been waiting for! The first installment of.
NEON GENESIS: EVANGELION: THE SUPER DUPER HILAR-
Oops.almost forgot the disclaimer.
Disclaimer: I do own Evang-
Anno: *ahem*
Oh. Sorry Anno-sama.I do NOT own Evangelion. That would be so cool if I did though. Ok then, for real this time
NEON GENESIS: EVANGELION: THE SUPER DUPER HILARIOUS NON-SHINJI-HATING EXTRAVAGANZA PART I: THE BEGINNING
Some random guy was standing next to a bus stop, when he was shrouded in shadow. He looked up to see a giant foot hovering momentarily over his head. The man ran for his randomly dear life, just escaping the foot.
Sachiel: Aw man.what did I step in? Hey! Its bubblegum! Mmm.cinnamon.
+++WHEREVER THE UN PEOPLE ARE IN THE FIRST EPISODE+++
UN guy #1: We must stop the monster! It will have destroyed the entire stash soon!
UN guy #2: What are you talking about. We keep all of the stashes in the Geo-Front.
#1: I don't mean a military stash! I mean my stash of gum!
#2: .
#1: I keep my stash on the streets, that way no one will find my mint condition collection.
#2: How can that gum be mint condition? It was sitting on the street! It wasn't even in a wrapper! And who collects gum!!!
#1: Not mint condition. MINT condition. They're all mint flavored.
#2: But the angel just said that he was having cinnamon.
#1: REALLY!?! MY GUM IS SAVED!! Ok, we don't have to kill the angel now.
Sachiel: Mmm.mint.
#1: MY COLLECTION!!! LAUNCH THE JETS! FIRE THE TANKS! RELEASE THE HOUNDS!!!
Accountant: We don't have any tanks or jets. *under breath* Stupid budget cuts.
#1: Release the hounds then!
+++OUTSIDE+++
The hounds were released. They plowed down the streets of Tokyo 3 in search of their prey. They rounded a corner and went up a hill. They might have noticed that they were climbing a strange hill, but they were dogs. They did however notice when a voice boomed from above.
Sachiel: What the- Why did they release the hounds! I'm allergic to dogs! Couldn't they have launched the jets? Or at least fired the tanks? Man, I can't even get rid of these dogs. If I do animal activists will sue me!
Luckily he didn't have to get rid of the dogs. When they realized that they were in fact on an angel's foot, they ran with their tails between their legs.
Sachiel: Woo! I Win! *achoo* Oh crap. Now I'll be sneezing all day.
Now, being an angel, Sachiel doesn't sneeze like a human. When Sachiel sneezes, he does his huge super-cross attack thing.(anyone know how to describe it better?)
+++BACK WHEREVER THE UN PEOPLE ARE+++
UN guy #3: Gah! The angel is attacking us!
#2: No he isn't! He's just sneezing!
#3: Oh fine. Just drop a handkerchief on him with one of our jets.
#1: But we don't have any jets.
#2: *whispering* Just ignore the plot hole and it'll go away.
A jet flew over the angel and dropped an N2 mine on the angel.
#3: What!?! I told you to drop a handkerchief on him! Not an N2 mine! They don't even sound alike!
#1: Wait! It hasn't detonated!
The N2 mine has dropped on Sachiel's head, leaving a large dent, but it doesn't detonate.
Sachiel: OW! Now I'm mad! What have I done to you! All I've done is step on one of your bus stops! That's it!
#1: And you've eaten our gum!!!
(Can you guess who says this? Guess in your review and I'll mention your name in the next chapter if you're right!): .
+++AT THE PHONE BOOTH WHERE SHINJI IS+++
Shinji: Wow. The lady that was supposed to pick me up sure is late.
*from a car parked on the side of the road* Misato: Wow. The kid I'm supposed to pick up sure is late.
Shinji: I wonder where she could be.
Misato: I wonder where he could be.
Shinji/Misato: Maybe I should go to one of the shelters. Maybe I'll find her/him there.
Misato, getting fed up, got out of her car and sat on the hood. Misato: Where the hell is he! Hearing her, Shinji looks at her and asks: Are you looking for someone too?
Misato looks up: Yeah. I'm looking for a kid. He was supposed to meet me here half an hour ago.
Shinji replies: Heh, that's strange. I'm looking for a woman who was supposed to meet ME here half an hour ago.
Misato: Wow. Small world.
Shinji/Misato: Hey. I wonder if you have seen her/him. Here's a pic.ture..
Both pulled out the picture of the other and glancing at the picture to the person, realize they've found who they're looking for.
Misato: Wow. Well.heh.uh.want to go?
Shinji: Uhh.ok.
They both get in the car. Shinji notices a little red button. He reaches for it, but his hand is pushed aside by Misato.
Misato: Never, push the little red button.
Shinji's eyes widen as Misato stares menacingly at him.
+++THE UN PEOPLE.FOR THE LAST TIME.TRUST ME+++
#2: We can't stop it!
#3: Alright. We'll have to drop an N2 mine. For real this time.
#1: But we don't have any-
#2: I said ignore the plot hole!!!
Technician: The bomb has been dropped. It has exploded! Uhh.oh crap.
#3: Did we get it?
Tech: That's just the problem. We've got another plot hole on our hands.
The dust around the remains of Sachiel slowly rise.
#1: Oh my god. Oh my god. Anno will be pissed!
#2: Quiet! Ignore the plot holes!
#3: I have the solution! Lets hand the operation over to NERV!
+++THE GEO-FRONT+++
Gendo: What's the situation?
Makoto: Sachiel has been destroyed. The hounds have been released. And the third child is in Captain Katsuragi's possession.
Gendo: Excellent. The scenario is playing out perfectly *folds hands in front of face Gendo-style*
Fuyutski: What do you mean?
Gendo: What do YOU mean? I said that we're in a lot of trouble.
(it's the same mystery person as before! Try and guess!): .
Aoba: What are your orders commander?
Gendo: Dress Unit 00 in a Sachiel costume. Deploy it at the site of the bombing and have it clear the angel's remains.
Fuytski: Why?
Gendo: We need to stay to the script. It is part of the scenario.
Maya: Unit 00 is at the site and is clearing the debris.
Aoba: Captain Katsuragi has arrived with the third child.
Gendo: Tell them to go to the Eva cages at once.
+++EVA CAGES+++
Shinji and Misato walked into the Eva cages. Shinji looked up at the purple beast (WHICH THE AUTHOR THINKS LOOKS HELLA TIGHT!).
Shinj: So.why am I here?
Misato: Do you know what your father does?
Shinji: Well.I know that he's a jerk, he works for a secret organization called NERV, he hates it when people don't stick to the script or the scenario, and he loves to wear glitter.
Gendo: *ahem* Please stay to the script!
Shinji: Oh, right. CUT!
Misato: *whispering* Shinji! This is a literary work! You can't cut and edit out the bloopers!
Shinji: .so?
Misato: CUT!
+++EVA CAGES: TAKE 2+++
Shinji and Misato walked into the Eva cages. Shinji looked up at the purple beast (WHICH THE AUTHOR THINKS LOOKS HELLA TIGHT!)
Shinji: So.why am I here?
Misato: Do you know what your father does?
Shinji: My father? He's a jerk!
Gendo: I heard that!
Shinji: HEY! How come he gets to go off script!
+++EVA CAGES: TAKE 3+++
A/N to characters: If you go off script one more time I'll knock you out in a secretive way for the rest of the chapter.
Shinji: Wow. What an uptight author.
Suddenly, Eva 01 raised its arm and knocked Shinji unconscious.
Gendo: HEY! How can we stay on script with the main character knocked out cold?
Suddenly, Unit 00- I mean- Sachiel.started to attack the city. The resulting earthquakes caused some support beams to crash on Gendo's head, knocking him unconscious.
Ritsuko: Hey. If those were support beams, then why isn't the roof collapsing?
Ironically and suddenly, the roof collapsed on Ritsuko's head, knocking her unconscious.
Misato: Wow. That was ironic.
Suddenly, and once again, the roof collapsed on Misato's head, knocking her unconscious. Then the entire cast ran onstage to deliver first aid to their fallen comrades. Then the remainder of the roof collapsed on everyone's heads, causing them to be knocked unconscious.
Wow. The entire cast has been knocked out for the rest of the chapter. I wonder how the author will handle this.
A/N: Suddenly, the roof above the narrators head collapsed, knocking it unconscious.
I hope everyone liked my first fanfic ever! Please review! And don't forget to tell me who you think the mystery person is!
Is it:
Fuyutski
A moose
The random guy from the bus stop
UN guy #2
Remember that I'll mention the name of anyone that got it right in the next chapter!
: don't try and guess if I have already updated my chapter. But tell me what its like in the future!
I would like to warn you that there will be no Shinji-hating or any romance in these fanfics. So if you like that kinda stuff, then go somewhere else! And now, the moment none of you have been waiting for! The first installment of.
NEON GENESIS: EVANGELION: THE SUPER DUPER HILAR-
Oops.almost forgot the disclaimer.
Disclaimer: I do own Evang-
Anno: *ahem*
Oh. Sorry Anno-sama.I do NOT own Evangelion. That would be so cool if I did though. Ok then, for real this time
NEON GENESIS: EVANGELION: THE SUPER DUPER HILARIOUS NON-SHINJI-HATING EXTRAVAGANZA PART I: THE BEGINNING
Some random guy was standing next to a bus stop, when he was shrouded in shadow. He looked up to see a giant foot hovering momentarily over his head. The man ran for his randomly dear life, just escaping the foot.
Sachiel: Aw man.what did I step in? Hey! Its bubblegum! Mmm.cinnamon.
+++WHEREVER THE UN PEOPLE ARE IN THE FIRST EPISODE+++
UN guy #1: We must stop the monster! It will have destroyed the entire stash soon!
UN guy #2: What are you talking about. We keep all of the stashes in the Geo-Front.
#1: I don't mean a military stash! I mean my stash of gum!
#2: .
#1: I keep my stash on the streets, that way no one will find my mint condition collection.
#2: How can that gum be mint condition? It was sitting on the street! It wasn't even in a wrapper! And who collects gum!!!
#1: Not mint condition. MINT condition. They're all mint flavored.
#2: But the angel just said that he was having cinnamon.
#1: REALLY!?! MY GUM IS SAVED!! Ok, we don't have to kill the angel now.
Sachiel: Mmm.mint.
#1: MY COLLECTION!!! LAUNCH THE JETS! FIRE THE TANKS! RELEASE THE HOUNDS!!!
Accountant: We don't have any tanks or jets. *under breath* Stupid budget cuts.
#1: Release the hounds then!
+++OUTSIDE+++
The hounds were released. They plowed down the streets of Tokyo 3 in search of their prey. They rounded a corner and went up a hill. They might have noticed that they were climbing a strange hill, but they were dogs. They did however notice when a voice boomed from above.
Sachiel: What the- Why did they release the hounds! I'm allergic to dogs! Couldn't they have launched the jets? Or at least fired the tanks? Man, I can't even get rid of these dogs. If I do animal activists will sue me!
Luckily he didn't have to get rid of the dogs. When they realized that they were in fact on an angel's foot, they ran with their tails between their legs.
Sachiel: Woo! I Win! *achoo* Oh crap. Now I'll be sneezing all day.
Now, being an angel, Sachiel doesn't sneeze like a human. When Sachiel sneezes, he does his huge super-cross attack thing.(anyone know how to describe it better?)
+++BACK WHEREVER THE UN PEOPLE ARE+++
UN guy #3: Gah! The angel is attacking us!
#2: No he isn't! He's just sneezing!
#3: Oh fine. Just drop a handkerchief on him with one of our jets.
#1: But we don't have any jets.
#2: *whispering* Just ignore the plot hole and it'll go away.
A jet flew over the angel and dropped an N2 mine on the angel.
#3: What!?! I told you to drop a handkerchief on him! Not an N2 mine! They don't even sound alike!
#1: Wait! It hasn't detonated!
The N2 mine has dropped on Sachiel's head, leaving a large dent, but it doesn't detonate.
Sachiel: OW! Now I'm mad! What have I done to you! All I've done is step on one of your bus stops! That's it!
#1: And you've eaten our gum!!!
(Can you guess who says this? Guess in your review and I'll mention your name in the next chapter if you're right!): .
+++AT THE PHONE BOOTH WHERE SHINJI IS+++
Shinji: Wow. The lady that was supposed to pick me up sure is late.
*from a car parked on the side of the road* Misato: Wow. The kid I'm supposed to pick up sure is late.
Shinji: I wonder where she could be.
Misato: I wonder where he could be.
Shinji/Misato: Maybe I should go to one of the shelters. Maybe I'll find her/him there.
Misato, getting fed up, got out of her car and sat on the hood. Misato: Where the hell is he! Hearing her, Shinji looks at her and asks: Are you looking for someone too?
Misato looks up: Yeah. I'm looking for a kid. He was supposed to meet me here half an hour ago.
Shinji replies: Heh, that's strange. I'm looking for a woman who was supposed to meet ME here half an hour ago.
Misato: Wow. Small world.
Shinji/Misato: Hey. I wonder if you have seen her/him. Here's a pic.ture..
Both pulled out the picture of the other and glancing at the picture to the person, realize they've found who they're looking for.
Misato: Wow. Well.heh.uh.want to go?
Shinji: Uhh.ok.
They both get in the car. Shinji notices a little red button. He reaches for it, but his hand is pushed aside by Misato.
Misato: Never, push the little red button.
Shinji's eyes widen as Misato stares menacingly at him.
+++THE UN PEOPLE.FOR THE LAST TIME.TRUST ME+++
#2: We can't stop it!
#3: Alright. We'll have to drop an N2 mine. For real this time.
#1: But we don't have any-
#2: I said ignore the plot hole!!!
Technician: The bomb has been dropped. It has exploded! Uhh.oh crap.
#3: Did we get it?
Tech: That's just the problem. We've got another plot hole on our hands.
The dust around the remains of Sachiel slowly rise.
#1: Oh my god. Oh my god. Anno will be pissed!
#2: Quiet! Ignore the plot holes!
#3: I have the solution! Lets hand the operation over to NERV!
+++THE GEO-FRONT+++
Gendo: What's the situation?
Makoto: Sachiel has been destroyed. The hounds have been released. And the third child is in Captain Katsuragi's possession.
Gendo: Excellent. The scenario is playing out perfectly *folds hands in front of face Gendo-style*
Fuyutski: What do you mean?
Gendo: What do YOU mean? I said that we're in a lot of trouble.
(it's the same mystery person as before! Try and guess!): .
Aoba: What are your orders commander?
Gendo: Dress Unit 00 in a Sachiel costume. Deploy it at the site of the bombing and have it clear the angel's remains.
Fuytski: Why?
Gendo: We need to stay to the script. It is part of the scenario.
Maya: Unit 00 is at the site and is clearing the debris.
Aoba: Captain Katsuragi has arrived with the third child.
Gendo: Tell them to go to the Eva cages at once.
+++EVA CAGES+++
Shinji and Misato walked into the Eva cages. Shinji looked up at the purple beast (WHICH THE AUTHOR THINKS LOOKS HELLA TIGHT!).
Shinj: So.why am I here?
Misato: Do you know what your father does?
Shinji: Well.I know that he's a jerk, he works for a secret organization called NERV, he hates it when people don't stick to the script or the scenario, and he loves to wear glitter.
Gendo: *ahem* Please stay to the script!
Shinji: Oh, right. CUT!
Misato: *whispering* Shinji! This is a literary work! You can't cut and edit out the bloopers!
Shinji: .so?
Misato: CUT!
+++EVA CAGES: TAKE 2+++
Shinji and Misato walked into the Eva cages. Shinji looked up at the purple beast (WHICH THE AUTHOR THINKS LOOKS HELLA TIGHT!)
Shinji: So.why am I here?
Misato: Do you know what your father does?
Shinji: My father? He's a jerk!
Gendo: I heard that!
Shinji: HEY! How come he gets to go off script!
+++EVA CAGES: TAKE 3+++
A/N to characters: If you go off script one more time I'll knock you out in a secretive way for the rest of the chapter.
Shinji: Wow. What an uptight author.
Suddenly, Eva 01 raised its arm and knocked Shinji unconscious.
Gendo: HEY! How can we stay on script with the main character knocked out cold?
Suddenly, Unit 00- I mean- Sachiel.started to attack the city. The resulting earthquakes caused some support beams to crash on Gendo's head, knocking him unconscious.
Ritsuko: Hey. If those were support beams, then why isn't the roof collapsing?
Ironically and suddenly, the roof collapsed on Ritsuko's head, knocking her unconscious.
Misato: Wow. That was ironic.
Suddenly, and once again, the roof collapsed on Misato's head, knocking her unconscious. Then the entire cast ran onstage to deliver first aid to their fallen comrades. Then the remainder of the roof collapsed on everyone's heads, causing them to be knocked unconscious.
Wow. The entire cast has been knocked out for the rest of the chapter. I wonder how the author will handle this.
A/N: Suddenly, the roof above the narrators head collapsed, knocking it unconscious.
I hope everyone liked my first fanfic ever! Please review! And don't forget to tell me who you think the mystery person is!
Is it:
Fuyutski
A moose
The random guy from the bus stop
UN guy #2
Remember that I'll mention the name of anyone that got it right in the next chapter!
: don't try and guess if I have already updated my chapter. But tell me what its like in the future!