Diablo 2
Chapter 10: Battle dot net
System: Please wait while we fill
this hourglass with diabolic blood.
Player: Another
patch... what a surprise... maybe they'll fix that problem where the
amazon loses her boobs when she equips those heavy metal
armors...
System: Update com... wait... ok, now it's
complete. Please enter a name for your character.
Player:
Alright, time to rock Battle dot net and make everyone fear the name
Ice Queen!
System: Sorry, that character cannot play on
battle dot net. You need a new character.
Player: What? But
all those hours of leveling! And I like my Tiara that I found...
shows my sexy blonde hair... Fine, I'll make a new Boobazon and call
her Ice Queen!
System: Sorry, that name is taken.
Player:
Yeah, I guess it is a really cool name, I really can't blame anyone
for taking that name already. Let's see... Luna!
System:
Sorry, that one is also taken.
Player: Ok, yeah, I guess
that's a popular name too... Storm!
System: ...also
taken...
Player: Fine, I guess everyone likes the X-MEN...
A-ha! Ice Storm... waah? Queen of Ice? Arrow of Death? Deadly Arrow?
Cold Nipples? Nipple Queen? Boobies? SuperBoobs? Boobazon?
System:
Taken, taken, taken, taken... TAKEN!
Player: Blizzard
Sucks!
System: Taken.
(Player smashes the
keyboard)
System: Taken.
Player:
WHHHAAAATTT?
(This is a true life story... Player's first keyboard mash was taken... sad, yes)
(Player mashes the keyboard again)
System: Welcome to Battle dot net,
Qnosekdisw!
Player: This sucks! Fine, screw the sexy bitch
(oh my!). It's about time I pick a different character anyway, and
since I can't think of a girl name, I'll be forced to play a guy...
Let's try a Paladin! Paladins rock in D&D!
(Um... what aspect of them rocks? The fact that they can cure disease 7 times per week? What the hell are you talking about?)
Player: Now it's a naming game.
Wolverine!
System: Taken.
Player: Oh, but I
really like Wolverine! Weapon X? Awwww... fine, Cyclops...
System:
Welcome to Battle dot net, Cyclops!
Player: Figures... no
one else likes him either...
(Finally, in the chat rooms...)
WolverineXXX: Hey
Losers.
zzZWolverineZzz: Yeah, noobs!
xxWolverinexx:
SOJ 4 40 chips!
xxWeaponXxx: Buy SOJs through
here!
Player: And I got Cyclops... Well, who needs to chat
anyway... multiplayer, here I come!