Disclaimer: I do not own anything owned by Eoin Colfer or anything to do with the Artemis Fowl books or anything like that. I only own what I own/made up/created/ thought of. Got it?

WARNING: any part of this story from this point forwards (and probably some before it) may contain OOCness. I'm sorry, but I couldn't make it work any other way.

A/N: What is it with teachers and loading you up with assignments and tests in the first week back at school? I swear I'm going to fall asleep just as soon as I click the button that I need to click to post this. Right, well you don't need to hear anymore about that, on with the chapter.

Chapter Fourteen

Twenty minutes later Holly emerged from the bathroom, having changed into her excuse for clothing and put on, to her eternal shame, makeup.

She made a quick dash to Julius' office and entered. Julius was already standing by his desk.

'What took you so long?' he asked. Then he looked up and saw her. She had competed the look alike model image perfectly. She had put on makeup perfectly and her outfit was stunning.

'Don't answer that.'

'I wasn't going to. And Trouble, never get one of you friends to give me a new look again.'

Trouble had to admit his sister looked stunning. If she hadn't been his sister he would definitely have gone on this mission with her. Julius was very lucky. At least Julius was going with her. He wouldn't take advantage of her.

'You look stunning Tanya,' said Julius.

'Hmmm. You look good,' said Holly, ignoring the comment about herself. She wasn't lying; Julius really did look very hot. He had on tight jeans and a tight black top that showed off his new muscles perfectly.

Julius was amazed at how good Holly looked. She would have half the males in Haven hitting on her. She was wearing red fish-net tights, knee high black boots with a high heel, a dark denim mini skirt and a halter neck top. (A/N: don't ask why I have either of them dressed up like this, especially Holly, it was just what I could least imagine them wearing if they had a choice. Plus, Holly needed to look somewhat like a slut for this.) Holly was having trouble not falling out of the high heels.

'Right,' said a thoroughly shocked Foaly. He was having a shocking day. The two people he could never imagine dressed like young people would normally dress were standing in front of him dressed in that way. Holly especially looked like a model that had stepped out of a photo shoot. Her hair had been grown and died black with purple streaks and everything, 'well, you two should get going then. I sent an anonymous email to the suspected perps and they are going to meet you here,' he jabbed at a map showing a warehouse located in an abandoned area of Haven (definitely dodgy), 'in about an hour. So you need to go. Don't forget your key codes.'

Holly and Julius nodded, suddenly realising that they were no longer Holly and Julius, but Tanya and Jake. They left Police Plaza and walked towards their destination in silence.

An hour later they were waiting in the building, trying took look not too relaxed, not too scared. A door clanged and someone about the right height to be a fairy stepped through the door.

'What do you want?' he asked. His voice was certainly male.

'We want a surface wedding. Can you help us?' asked Julius.

'Who are you?'

'I'm Jake, this is Tanya.'

'Why would you think I could give you a surface wedding?'

'A friend of a friend told me about you. I, like, really want a surface wedding,' replied Holly.

'How do I know you aren't trying to set me up?'

'You don't. We don't know if you're trying to set us up.'

'So can you, like, give us a surface wedding?'

'You aren't acting much like a couple from where I'm standing.'

D'arvit, thought Holly. He knows we aren't together. Luckily for her she didn't panic in the field. She thought quickly. She could see only one way to convince this guy that she was in love with Julius. She turned around, lifted her arms and wrapped them around him (he was slightly taller than her) and kissed him. Tongue and all. Neither Julius nor Holly could believe she had done it, but neither would ruin the mission and let it show on their faces.

A slightly breathless Holly turned to the unknown guy, 'believe me now? I just didn't, like, want to gross you out. So can you give us a wedding or not'

The kiss had done its job. The guy was now convinced that they did actually want a surface wedding and were actually in love. Holly and Julius were good actors.

'It'll cost you a lot.'

'How much?'

'50,000 gold coins.'

'That's a lot of money Tanya. You still want the wedding?'

Julius snaked his arm around Holly's waist as he said this. Now that the perp had told them about the weddings it would get dangerous. He needed to believe that Holly and Julius weren't lying.

When Holly felt Julius' arm around her waist she stiffened for a split second, but she couldn't let this show. She thought that it actually felt quite good. She pulled a stick of gum out of her pocket (it was all the craze with the young fairies these days to be chewing gum) and leaned her head on Julius' shoulder as she chewed nonchalantly. She could not believe she was acting like this, with her commanding officer!

'I say crack open the safe, we're going to the surface.'

'I expect payment in full. Then we can smuggle you to the surface tomorrow. It's too risky to wait longer than one night for payment.'

This confirmed their suspicions, well Foaly's suspicions, they would be followed and it would be made sure they didn't tell the LEP about the operation. Holly noted that she could hear other people breathing in the room. And she could see several concealed bits of cam-foil. Julius could see this too. This would eventually develop into a fire fight.

'Where will the wedding be?' asked Holly, 'I'm not paying to get married in the middle of some polluted city or in the Arctic.'

'The wedding will be held on Tiritiri Matangi.'

Holly recognised the language. It was Maori, and the particular name meant 'tossed by the wind'. What she wasn't sure of was where Tiritiri Matangi was. She assumed it must be somewhere in New Zealand.

Julius got there first.

'Tiritiri Matangi?' he queried.

'It's an island which is a bird sanctuary. Such birds as the Takahe live there.'

Now both Holly and Julius remembered where they had heard the name before. Tiritiri Matangi was an island situated thirty kilometres north east of Auckland. The biggest city in New Zealand. It was a major attraction for both tourists and locals and attracted around thirty three thousand visitors annually. They both realised the seriousness of the situation. There were many visitors on the island. All looking carefully to spot something, any members of the People would be spotted easily. This elf and his buddies were putting the entire underground civilisation at risk. And all for a tremendous amount of gold. What greed could do to people was terrible.

They both realised they had been silent for a full minute. The guy was looking at them oddly. Holly came to the rescue.

A/N: We're nearing the end… But still a few more chapters. Please review.

Review Replies:

xXxTroubleKelpxXx: argh, this is the last time I'm going to say this, but your name appears to resemble mine, I'm not the only one :) … Trouble is my favourite character. I'm sure she is angry.

refloc: I can't remember. But t'was obvious. Thanks. I look forward to it.

refloc: Thanks.

lalalalalalalala: hmmm, I suppose that can be arranged.

wackywildcrazy: thanks.

sergeantstan: thanks.

potter-Dork: Thanks :) 111 I think, close enough though. Merci.