Yeah yeah, I know. It's been a while. Life has gotten even more hectic than
it was before. But I think it'll be back to normal soon.
Now to respond to my reviewers!
Itchy~ Sorry. Let's just say that you did get that right then. I'll be clearer next time.
Macro~ Neither did I! That's why I wrote this. Everyone seems to pick on Shinji-Fans. (
Hooray! I just bought the Evangelion Box Set! Yay to me! So expect my stories to be a little more accurate from now on.
Lets get this show on the road! Standard disclaimer: The only character that I own is the Moose. Everyone and everything else belongs to Gainax.
THE SUPER DUPER HILARIOUS NONSHINJIHATING SPOOF: Chapter 5: Rei 0
+++22 DAYS AGO+++
Gendo: Begin activation.
The Eva whirred to life.
Ritsuko: Everything is going fine.
Maya: Wait! The nerve links are flowing backwards!
Ritsuko: Unit 0 is out of control!
The Eva broke free of it's restraints and started to flail it's arms. It made noises that sounded vaguely like speech.
Eva 00: I WANT MY PAYCHECK!!!
Gendo: Cut the main power supply!
Maya: It switched to backup power! 35 seconds till it shutsdown! Rei, keep your hands and feet inside the entry plug until it comes to a complete stop!
+++AT THE ENTRY PLUG+++
Gendo: Rei! Are you all right?
Rei: Oh, I'm fine. No problems here!
Gendo: But didn't the Eva just go beserk, forcing you to eject the entry plug, resulting in you falling hundreds of feet from the ceiling?
Rei: Oh yeah. Now I remember! Give me a moment please...Ok...ask if I'm alright.
Gendo: Uhh...ok...Rei! Are you all right?
Rei: What do you think!?! The Eva just went beserk, forcing me to eject the entry plug resulting in me falling hundreds of feet from the ceiling!
The Moose: -.-;;
+++PRESENT+++
Ritsuko: Rei Ayanami, the designated pilot for Evangelion Unit 00.
Misato: So, do we have any idea why the Eva went beserk?
Ritsuko: It apparently wanted something. At the time I remember that it yelled something that sounded like: "I want my paycheck."
Gendo: No it didn't! Why are you looking at me like that! Of course I've been paying the Eva! Who said anything about secret police?!?
The Moose: ....
Ritsuko: Uhh...of course.
+++REI"S APARTMENT+++
Shinji approaches Rei's door. He was asked by Ritsuko to deliver Rei's new NERV ID card.
Shinji: Hello? Are you home.
No answer.
Shinji: I'm coming in! I'm here to deliver your new NERV ID card!
Shinji walks in. The room is a mess. The mail is piled up on the floor. Shinji crosses to the other side of the room and sees a pair of broken glasses lying on a dresser. He hears a sound behind him. And looks up to see Rei in a hippo suit.
Shinji: Uhh...Rei?
Rei: Yes?
Shinji: Why are you in a hippo suit?
Rei: This is a very popular trend. I am trying to look cool in order to get friends.
Shinji: Uhh...Right. Well here's your ID card.
Shinji walks over to hand Rei her ID card, but trips on the mail that mysteriously crossed the room. Shinji accidentally spears Rei with the card.
Shinji: Omg, omg, omg! What am I going to do! I just killed Rei! Hmm what would Togi do?
The scene becomes wavy and fades to Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Obi-Wan: Use the Force Luke.
Shinji: Oops, wrong channel.
Scene becomes wavy again and fades to Kensuke.
Kensuke: Woah! Shinji! What are you doing here?
Shinji: I'm here to talk to Togi.
Kensuke: Oh, right. *ahem*
Kensuke's hand: Use your hand Shinji.
The scene becomes wavy a third time and fades back to Rei's apartment.
Shinji: Of course!
Shinji's hand: Thank you. Now get lost.
Shinji: Ok. Bye.
Hand: Bye.
+++ON THE WAY TO MISATO"S APARTMENT+++
Shinji: Uhh...Rei? Why are you following me?
Rei: Because I'm attached to you. Get used to it.
Shinji: I bet Kensuke doesn't have to put up with this.
+++KENSUKE"S BATHROOM+++
Kensuke's in the shower having a conversation with his han- *ahem* I mean...Togi.
Kensuke: Togi, can't I get some privacy?
Togi: Never! I will forever invade your privacy! When you are grounded, I'll be there! When you go on your first date, I'll be there! When you get married, I'll be there! When you sleep, I'll be there! When you jack-
Kensuke: HEY! THIS SPOOF IS RATED G!!! YOU CAN'T SAY THINGS LIKE THAT!!
Togi: Oops, sorry.
+++THE END+++
Did that seem short to you? It did to me?
Oh well.
Next chapter: REI SQUARED
Now to respond to my reviewers!
Itchy~ Sorry. Let's just say that you did get that right then. I'll be clearer next time.
Macro~ Neither did I! That's why I wrote this. Everyone seems to pick on Shinji-Fans. (
Hooray! I just bought the Evangelion Box Set! Yay to me! So expect my stories to be a little more accurate from now on.
Lets get this show on the road! Standard disclaimer: The only character that I own is the Moose. Everyone and everything else belongs to Gainax.
THE SUPER DUPER HILARIOUS NONSHINJIHATING SPOOF: Chapter 5: Rei 0
+++22 DAYS AGO+++
Gendo: Begin activation.
The Eva whirred to life.
Ritsuko: Everything is going fine.
Maya: Wait! The nerve links are flowing backwards!
Ritsuko: Unit 0 is out of control!
The Eva broke free of it's restraints and started to flail it's arms. It made noises that sounded vaguely like speech.
Eva 00: I WANT MY PAYCHECK!!!
Gendo: Cut the main power supply!
Maya: It switched to backup power! 35 seconds till it shutsdown! Rei, keep your hands and feet inside the entry plug until it comes to a complete stop!
+++AT THE ENTRY PLUG+++
Gendo: Rei! Are you all right?
Rei: Oh, I'm fine. No problems here!
Gendo: But didn't the Eva just go beserk, forcing you to eject the entry plug, resulting in you falling hundreds of feet from the ceiling?
Rei: Oh yeah. Now I remember! Give me a moment please...Ok...ask if I'm alright.
Gendo: Uhh...ok...Rei! Are you all right?
Rei: What do you think!?! The Eva just went beserk, forcing me to eject the entry plug resulting in me falling hundreds of feet from the ceiling!
The Moose: -.-;;
+++PRESENT+++
Ritsuko: Rei Ayanami, the designated pilot for Evangelion Unit 00.
Misato: So, do we have any idea why the Eva went beserk?
Ritsuko: It apparently wanted something. At the time I remember that it yelled something that sounded like: "I want my paycheck."
Gendo: No it didn't! Why are you looking at me like that! Of course I've been paying the Eva! Who said anything about secret police?!?
The Moose: ....
Ritsuko: Uhh...of course.
+++REI"S APARTMENT+++
Shinji approaches Rei's door. He was asked by Ritsuko to deliver Rei's new NERV ID card.
Shinji: Hello? Are you home.
No answer.
Shinji: I'm coming in! I'm here to deliver your new NERV ID card!
Shinji walks in. The room is a mess. The mail is piled up on the floor. Shinji crosses to the other side of the room and sees a pair of broken glasses lying on a dresser. He hears a sound behind him. And looks up to see Rei in a hippo suit.
Shinji: Uhh...Rei?
Rei: Yes?
Shinji: Why are you in a hippo suit?
Rei: This is a very popular trend. I am trying to look cool in order to get friends.
Shinji: Uhh...Right. Well here's your ID card.
Shinji walks over to hand Rei her ID card, but trips on the mail that mysteriously crossed the room. Shinji accidentally spears Rei with the card.
Shinji: Omg, omg, omg! What am I going to do! I just killed Rei! Hmm what would Togi do?
The scene becomes wavy and fades to Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Obi-Wan: Use the Force Luke.
Shinji: Oops, wrong channel.
Scene becomes wavy again and fades to Kensuke.
Kensuke: Woah! Shinji! What are you doing here?
Shinji: I'm here to talk to Togi.
Kensuke: Oh, right. *ahem*
Kensuke's hand: Use your hand Shinji.
The scene becomes wavy a third time and fades back to Rei's apartment.
Shinji: Of course!
Shinji's hand: Thank you. Now get lost.
Shinji: Ok. Bye.
Hand: Bye.
+++ON THE WAY TO MISATO"S APARTMENT+++
Shinji: Uhh...Rei? Why are you following me?
Rei: Because I'm attached to you. Get used to it.
Shinji: I bet Kensuke doesn't have to put up with this.
+++KENSUKE"S BATHROOM+++
Kensuke's in the shower having a conversation with his han- *ahem* I mean...Togi.
Kensuke: Togi, can't I get some privacy?
Togi: Never! I will forever invade your privacy! When you are grounded, I'll be there! When you go on your first date, I'll be there! When you get married, I'll be there! When you sleep, I'll be there! When you jack-
Kensuke: HEY! THIS SPOOF IS RATED G!!! YOU CAN'T SAY THINGS LIKE THAT!!
Togi: Oops, sorry.
+++THE END+++
Did that seem short to you? It did to me?
Oh well.
Next chapter: REI SQUARED