Yes it has been a while I know. Time to update: I have the Director's cut!
Woot! I also held an Evangelion marathon where I watched the entire series.
It was really long. Well...that's about it.
Disclaimer: It is time to disclaim that I won't claim to claim any material that Hideaki Anno claims to own. Did you get that? Good.
THE SUPER DUPER HILARIOUS NON-SHINJI-HATING SPOOF: Chapter 7: Misato Squared
GENDO'S SCARY ROOM
Gendo: It seems that I owe you once again.
Man on phone: That won't be necessary.
Gendo: The government will soon be proceeding with legal action, but that won't be a problem.
Man on phone: Wait...that was my line.
Gendo: sigh How many times do I have to say it? Ignore the plot holes.
Man on phone: Fine. Ignore this plot hole!
The strange man suddenly hung up. Gendo smiled and hung up his phone. Then he posed. You know...that scary Gendo pose? The one that Gendo does so well? Yeah. That one.
Gendo: All goes according to the scenario.
MISATO'S APARTMENT
There was toast in a Toaster. The toast popped out And music played.
Yay! I can write Haiku!
But it wasn't any ordinary music. It was chibby, happy, anime morning music.
Shinji: Where is that music coming from?
Suddenly Misato popped out from behind a door.
Misato: If there's one thing I've learned from working at NERV, it's to ignore the plot holes.
Then she saw the toaster.
Misato: It looks like a wooden block to me. [If you don't get this joke re- read chapter 6]
Shinji: OH NO!
Misato: Yes.
Shinji rushed to the phone and called Ritsuko.
Shinji: Hello, Ritsuko? She's doing it again.
Ritsuko on phone: Didn't I tell you to remove all rectangular prisms from your house?
Shinji: I tried to, but I need to make toast! There's nothing else in the house that isn't instant food!
Ritsuko over phone: I see. Well we'll just have to replace her.
Shinji: What?
But Ritsuko had already hung up. And suddenly, Misato fell to the ground, dead as a doornail.
Shinji: What is going on here?
Then the door bell rang and Kensuke burst through the door.
Kensuke: Come on Shinji! We're going to be late for school.
Kensuke's stub for a hand...I mean Toji: Bye Misato!
Misato's corpse: Yes...
AT SCHOOL
A car was speeding about 50 mph over the limit, when it suddenly made a sharp turn and parked perfectly in the space closest to the building. And out stepped...
Shinji: MISATO?!?!
Misato: Hi Shinji! I'm Misato Squared! I'm a clone of Misato, but you won't understand until episode 23! I've also got someone else here with me.
And out stepped...
Kensuke's stub of a hand: TOJI?!?!
Toji: Hi! I'm Toji squared! I'm a clone of Toji, but you won't understand until Episode 23! I've also got someone else here with me.
And out stepped...
Kensuke: MY HAND?!??!
Hand [in sign-language]: Hi! I'm Kensuke's Hand Squared! I'm a clone of Kensuke's hand, but you won't understand until Episode 23!
Shinji: Wait...If that's Toji down there, and that's Toji next to Kensuke, then which one is the real Toji?
Kensuke: Well...you see. There's a funny story about that.
MISATO'S APARTMENT THE NEXT DAY
There was toast in a Toaster. The toast popped out And music played.
Yay! I can write Haiku!
But it wasn't any ordinary music. It was chibby, happy, anime morning music.
Shinji: Where is that music coming from?
Suddenly Misato popped out from behind a door.
Misato: If there's one thing I've learned from working at NERV, it's to ignore the plot holes.
Shinji: Uhh...Misato?
Misato: Yes Shinji?
Shinji: Why are you all dressed up like that?
Misato: Oh. I have to go somewhere.
Shinji: Oh...Really?
AT A RANDOMLY LARGE BUILDING IN OLD TOKYO
Some dude: Step right up! Step right up to see the amazing Jet Alone! Watch as it actually walks!
Misato: Why am I suddenly reminded of a carnival?
Ritsuko: I have no idea, but I have a sudden urge to pay money so I can throw a ring around a stake to win prizes.
Some dude: That's down the block on your right. Step right up! Step right up to see the amazing Jet Alone.
Techie of randomness #1: Wait something's wrong.
Some dude: Well fix it.
Techie of randomness #2: It's not working!
Some dude: Oh my god! IT'S OUT OF CONTROL!!!
Misato: Stop complaining. Even I know how to fix this. All you have to do is have Shinji blow it up.
Some dude: Oh. That works.
Misato: Shinji. Get to you're Eva right now!
Shinji on phone: Why? Is it an angel?
Misato: Uhh...I guess you could say that.
Shinji: Where is it! Bring it on!
Misato: That was fast. Its over there.
As Shinji ran off to defeat the J.A. Ritsuko came back with a stuffed animal.
Ritsuko: So. Are you ignoring the plot hole?
Misato: Yep!
Ritsuko: Excellent.
Misato: Hey. Who's that stuffed animal for?
Ritsuko: Oh...it's not for Gendo. What are you talking about? Who said anything about hot passionate se-
Misato: Hey! This story is PG!
Just then Shinji destroyed the giant robot. And as punishment for almost raising the rating, a giant piece of debris crushed Ritsuko.
THE END!!!
This time you people have to actually review. When I don't get any reviews I feel like no one reads my story! And then I get sad!
NEXT CHAPTER: ASUKA MEETS WORLD
Disclaimer: It is time to disclaim that I won't claim to claim any material that Hideaki Anno claims to own. Did you get that? Good.
THE SUPER DUPER HILARIOUS NON-SHINJI-HATING SPOOF: Chapter 7: Misato Squared
GENDO'S SCARY ROOM
Gendo: It seems that I owe you once again.
Man on phone: That won't be necessary.
Gendo: The government will soon be proceeding with legal action, but that won't be a problem.
Man on phone: Wait...that was my line.
Gendo: sigh How many times do I have to say it? Ignore the plot holes.
Man on phone: Fine. Ignore this plot hole!
The strange man suddenly hung up. Gendo smiled and hung up his phone. Then he posed. You know...that scary Gendo pose? The one that Gendo does so well? Yeah. That one.
Gendo: All goes according to the scenario.
MISATO'S APARTMENT
There was toast in a Toaster. The toast popped out And music played.
Yay! I can write Haiku!
But it wasn't any ordinary music. It was chibby, happy, anime morning music.
Shinji: Where is that music coming from?
Suddenly Misato popped out from behind a door.
Misato: If there's one thing I've learned from working at NERV, it's to ignore the plot holes.
Then she saw the toaster.
Misato: It looks like a wooden block to me. [If you don't get this joke re- read chapter 6]
Shinji: OH NO!
Misato: Yes.
Shinji rushed to the phone and called Ritsuko.
Shinji: Hello, Ritsuko? She's doing it again.
Ritsuko on phone: Didn't I tell you to remove all rectangular prisms from your house?
Shinji: I tried to, but I need to make toast! There's nothing else in the house that isn't instant food!
Ritsuko over phone: I see. Well we'll just have to replace her.
Shinji: What?
But Ritsuko had already hung up. And suddenly, Misato fell to the ground, dead as a doornail.
Shinji: What is going on here?
Then the door bell rang and Kensuke burst through the door.
Kensuke: Come on Shinji! We're going to be late for school.
Kensuke's stub for a hand...I mean Toji: Bye Misato!
Misato's corpse: Yes...
AT SCHOOL
A car was speeding about 50 mph over the limit, when it suddenly made a sharp turn and parked perfectly in the space closest to the building. And out stepped...
Shinji: MISATO?!?!
Misato: Hi Shinji! I'm Misato Squared! I'm a clone of Misato, but you won't understand until episode 23! I've also got someone else here with me.
And out stepped...
Kensuke's stub of a hand: TOJI?!?!
Toji: Hi! I'm Toji squared! I'm a clone of Toji, but you won't understand until Episode 23! I've also got someone else here with me.
And out stepped...
Kensuke: MY HAND?!??!
Hand [in sign-language]: Hi! I'm Kensuke's Hand Squared! I'm a clone of Kensuke's hand, but you won't understand until Episode 23!
Shinji: Wait...If that's Toji down there, and that's Toji next to Kensuke, then which one is the real Toji?
Kensuke: Well...you see. There's a funny story about that.
MISATO'S APARTMENT THE NEXT DAY
There was toast in a Toaster. The toast popped out And music played.
Yay! I can write Haiku!
But it wasn't any ordinary music. It was chibby, happy, anime morning music.
Shinji: Where is that music coming from?
Suddenly Misato popped out from behind a door.
Misato: If there's one thing I've learned from working at NERV, it's to ignore the plot holes.
Shinji: Uhh...Misato?
Misato: Yes Shinji?
Shinji: Why are you all dressed up like that?
Misato: Oh. I have to go somewhere.
Shinji: Oh...Really?
AT A RANDOMLY LARGE BUILDING IN OLD TOKYO
Some dude: Step right up! Step right up to see the amazing Jet Alone! Watch as it actually walks!
Misato: Why am I suddenly reminded of a carnival?
Ritsuko: I have no idea, but I have a sudden urge to pay money so I can throw a ring around a stake to win prizes.
Some dude: That's down the block on your right. Step right up! Step right up to see the amazing Jet Alone.
Techie of randomness #1: Wait something's wrong.
Some dude: Well fix it.
Techie of randomness #2: It's not working!
Some dude: Oh my god! IT'S OUT OF CONTROL!!!
Misato: Stop complaining. Even I know how to fix this. All you have to do is have Shinji blow it up.
Some dude: Oh. That works.
Misato: Shinji. Get to you're Eva right now!
Shinji on phone: Why? Is it an angel?
Misato: Uhh...I guess you could say that.
Shinji: Where is it! Bring it on!
Misato: That was fast. Its over there.
As Shinji ran off to defeat the J.A. Ritsuko came back with a stuffed animal.
Ritsuko: So. Are you ignoring the plot hole?
Misato: Yep!
Ritsuko: Excellent.
Misato: Hey. Who's that stuffed animal for?
Ritsuko: Oh...it's not for Gendo. What are you talking about? Who said anything about hot passionate se-
Misato: Hey! This story is PG!
Just then Shinji destroyed the giant robot. And as punishment for almost raising the rating, a giant piece of debris crushed Ritsuko.
THE END!!!
This time you people have to actually review. When I don't get any reviews I feel like no one reads my story! And then I get sad!
NEXT CHAPTER: ASUKA MEETS WORLD