Okay, screw it, I'm cracking. I wrote this fic on IM the other night trying to get Krystle's attention... lol... So it's stupid and short and a parody-esque, but someone has to post something... I'm getting restless. Seeing as no one's updated anything in 2-3 days, and I'm going nuts. So, thought I'd give it a jump-start. This isn't meant to be taken seriously. I dunno, if you're really deep, you could say I'm being brief to emulate Hemingway, though the truth is that I was lazy and didn't want to write he said/she said and never actually thought I was going to post this. I'm not even editing it to post this. Oh well.

Oh, and you can blame the title on me listening to Beatles songs on repeat. It's seriously entertaining watching me sing Hey Jude off key, especially since I don't know all the words. Lol. "Hey Jude, don't make it bad... You can take a sad song and make it better... Oh, crap, what's the next word? Uh, Hey Jude, don't make it bad..." Lol. Seriously, I can't even get the Na-Na-Na-Na's right... I can never remember how they go... Lol. See, this is what happens when your dad's a Beatles freak, your mom's stuck in Motown, and your little brother's OCD about (c)rap. Anyways, disclaimer time!

I don't own Life With Derek. Duh. You're seriously cracked if you think I do.

And then, Derek said to Casey...

"I love you, girl, and I want to make out."

Casey, of course, told him she was in love with Sam.

And then he felt quite shot down.

So she said, and I quote...

"Screw it! I want you, Derek!"

And then...

She lit a cigarette afterward, looking over at Derek.

"You're way better than Sam. Let's keep doing this."

Derek, predictably enough, had no objections.

So they kept up the affair, but almost got caught several times.

Casey tried to quit, as it was tearing her up inside, being in love with Sam and cheating on him with his best friend... But she couldn't help it! She was just inexplicably drawn to Derek.

She kept trying to break it off, but for some reason, that never seemed to happen.

When she felt Derek's hands on her, she just couldn't think anymore. All ration went out the window where he was concerned. All she wanted was him beside her...

And that scared her a lot.

Why did Derek have to keep saying I love you?

She felt guilty every time she heard him say it, and one day she just snapped. She couldn't take it anymore.

So she said...

Or, rather, shouted...

"I DON'T LOVE YOU, DEREK! I'M IN LOVE WITH SAM! YOU KNOW, YOUR BEST FRIEND? I LOVE HIM, NOT YOU! I WON'T EVER LOVE YOU, DEREK! I'VE BEEN TRYING TO DUMP YOU FOR WEEKS, SO I MIGHT AS WELL DO IT NOW! THERE, WE'RE OVER!"

Derek's eyes got a little glassy, and the pleading look in his eyes broke Casey's frozen heart just a little.

"You don't mean that."

Casey looked him straight in the eyes, feeling guilty even though she knew she was doing the right thing.

"I do, Derek. So clear out before I scream and tell Mom."

Derek laughed bitterly. "And tell her what, exactly, Case? That you've been screwing me?"

Casey snorted haughtily, holding her head up high. "They would never believe you over me."

"I'll just say you were..." Then Casey whispered some dreadful things into his ear. Things that made Derek pale.

"You wouldn't..."

Casey smirked. "Oh, but Derek, I would..."

And Derek just stood there for a minute, shell-shocked. But then he...

Walked right up to her and pulled her into a very passionate kiss. "This is why I love you, Case."

"And you can lie to yourself all you want, but you wouldn't be with me if you didn't feel something."

Casey slapped him hard across the face. "I'm not with you, Derek."

Derek fixed her with a look. "More than Sammy, right?"

Casey's blue eyes darkened to an almost gray color. "You don't know anything about my relationship with Sam, so don't talk about it like you do!"

"But I do, remember, Casey? You see, Sam's my best friend, and he likes to talk to me about things..."

Derek smirked, moving closer to Casey with a predatory look in his eyes. "Besides, you hate me. You wouldn't be coming to me unless I was giving you something that Sam wasn't."

Casey hated to admit that he had a point there. Not that she was going to tell him that.

"We're not over, Casey. And even if we were, you'd still come crawling back." She hated how cocky he sounded. But why shouldn't he sound cocky? He was right after all...

So she came back, and she hated it. She hated everything about their torrid little affair. She hated him. She hated their house. But most of all, she just hated herself.

And then she was a three months late and starting to gain weight. And she hated the baby, although really, it wasn't the poor kid's fault that her mother had an affair with her stepbrother, now was it? No, it was solely Casey's fault.

Loren ;

You don't have to even review, just update... somebody update!

And that ends the crazy rant section... If you wish to comment, feel free... Heck, you can even feel free to flame because I just don't care! Lol... Sorry, I said I was going to stop being crazy. Anyways, thanks for reading this, even though it is most probably a waste of your precious time. Thank you.