Marriage and Family
Chapter Four
Wednesday, August 5, 2026I'm starting to think that Victor is purposely trying to drive me crazy. Ok, maybe not, but it sure feels that way. I realize that he's old and is having memory problems but does he really need to treat me the way he does? Take this afternoon for example:
I was in the kitchen making lunch for Sean, Rachel, and him. We had some ham left over from dinner so I was making ham sandwiches. I fixed him a ham sandwich for lunch and made sure that I got it exactly how he wanted it—on white bread with three slices of ham, one slice of American cheese and two squirts of honey mustard. That's how he's asked for his sandwich to be made for the past six months.
But he took one bite of it and said, "Why the hell did you put mustard on this sandwich? You know I hate mustard and can't stand it on a ham sandwich! Are you stupid or something?"
"Victor, you've always eaten your sandwiches with mustard." I calmly told him.
"No I haven't!" He slammed his fist down on the table. "Now make me another one without mustard!"
I took a deep breath so that I didn't start yelling at him to eat the stupid sandwich and flashed both him and the kids a fake smile before picking up his plate and going back into the kitchen. About ten seconds after I came back into the kitchen, Rachel appeared. "Need something?"
"Just looking to see if we have any applesauce left." Rachel smiled as she opened up the refrigerator door.
"I don't think we do. I think your grandfather had the last of it yesterday." I felt bad that she wanted applesauce that we didn't have and made a mental note to add it to the grocery list later. "Sorry."
"No biggie." She shrugged her shoulders. "I'll just have some pudding instead." She picked up a pudding cup and came over to where I was making the sandwich. "You know if you want me to, I can kick Grandpa Victor under the table a few times and call it an accident."
I laughed, and looking over at her I saw that she was serious. "No thanks sweetie. That's ok."
"Ok." She shrugged again.
"Kicking your grandfather under the table would not be a very nice thing to do." I reminded her.
"I know," she rolled her eyes, "but the offer's good for anytime. Just say the word and I'll start kicking."
"I'll keep that in mind." I winked at her before she left the kitchen.
I can always count on Rachel to inject some humor into any situation. She always seems to know exactly the right moment to tell me a joke or say something to make me smile and I appreciate that more than she'll probably ever know.
I'm really trying not to lose my temper with Victor, but it's hard sometimes. I mean, sometimes he's really nice to me and appreciative of the things I do for him. Then other times he's yelling at me and calling me names.
And of course Martin is never home to see that side of Victor. The only side Martin ever sees is the nice Victor. He probably wouldn't believe me if I told him some of the things that have happened when he's at work.
Staring at the phone, Sam knew what she had to do. She had to call Martin and tell him about her plans to go to New York for a few days. But even though she longed to hear his voice, there was something that made her hesitant to call him.
It was the same something that had kept her from calling him all those other times too. It was fear mixed in with weariness.
Her fear was that they would have nothing to talk about, and it was a very rational fear because it had happened to them quite frequently over the past eight months. Now that the kids were out of the house and Martin's father passed away, there wasn't much for them to talk about anymore.
So that left them with a bunch of silence and nothing to talk about to fill the spaces. They tried to find things to talk about, but those conversations were usually uncomfortable, felt forced, and led to arguments.
Her weariness was based on the fact that she didn't want to fight with him anymore. It seemed like that's all they ever did anymore and she was tired of it. She was tired of all of it.
They had become the stereotypical married couple, only talking about the children and pretty much living separate lives.
Finally deciding that she was wasting time and should just get it over with, she picked up the phone and took a deep breath before dialing the familiar phone number.
"Hello?" Martin answered, reaching over across the bed to pick up the phone.
"Hey, it's me." Sam greeted.
"Sam." He sat up in bed. "Hey. It's good to hear your voice. How are you?"
"Fine." Sam replied. "And you?"
"Ok." He picked up the Kleenex he was using as a makeshift bookmark and stuck it in Sam's journal before closing it and placing it on the bed. "How's Claire doing?"
"She's great." Sam informed him. "She's getting really excited because we're going to go pick Nikolas up this afternoon."
"I bet she can't wait for him to come home. She's probably missed him a lot over the past three months."
"Yeah, she has." Sam told him. "Look, I just wanted to call and tell you that I won't be home for another couple of days."
He frowned. A few more days? But if Nikolas was coming home tonight then why was Sam still staying? "Oh really? Why not?" He tried really hard not to let his disappointment show in his voice.
"I'm going to go visit Danny and the rest of the gang in New York for a few days." Sam explained.
"Oh." Now he was even more disappointed. Not only was she going to be gone for a few more days, but she was also going to get to visit their friends without him.
"I should be back on Sunday afternoon. Do you think it would be possible for you to pick me up at the airport?"
"Sure." He replied. "Just call me and let me know what flight you're on and I'll be there."
"Thanks." She was glad that they didn't have a fight about that. She had expected him to be mad that she wasn't coming home right away and figured that they would get into an argument about it. But she was pleasantly surprised when they didn't.
"No problem." He noticed that there was now an awkward pause. It was almost like they had run out of things to talk about. "So…"
"I should probably go." Sam told him, not sure what else to talk about.
"Do you have to? Because we haven't talked much lately and I was just wondering what's going on." Martin asked, surprising himself. Usually he wasn't this bold, but after reading her journals he was slowly realizing that she had been feeling slighted lately.
"Well I think Claire told you everything that's been going on when she talked to you yesterday. Nothing else much has happened." Sam explained.
"No." Martin corrected her. "I meant with you. What's going on with you?"
"Me?" She was surprised by his question. In the three months that she had been in Michigan he had never once asked what was going on with her. His questions were always directed towards the kids. So what changed?
"Yeah you." He chuckled.
"Nothing interesting is happening with me." Sam shrugged.
"I see."
Another long pause followed his response. "Are you ok?" Sam asked.
"Me? I'm fine." Martin tried to sound reassuring, but the fact was that he wasn't really fine. Each of Sam's journals chronicled one calendar year, and Martin had already read up to about six months of the first year. He knew that he should stop and that it wasn't right to read her personal journals but he couldn't help himself.
He was learning so much about her from reading them and he was also starting to feel extremely guilty. There were so many things that Sam kept bottled up inside and never told him. There were so many things that he had never even considered.
He had no idea it was so hard for Sam to have his father living with them. Of course he didn't notice because he was too busy trying to be the perfect son for his father in a last-ditch attempt to have a good relationship with his father before his death. Well that mission was a success but he might have ruined his marriage in the process.
She wasn't sure she believed him when he said he was fine. After knowing him for so long, she knew when he was lying, and she was fairly confident that he was lying right now. But if he didn't want to tell her what was wrong, then she wasn't going to pry. Not right now. "Ok, well actually I do really have to go so that we can leave for the airport."
"Ok." He didn't want to get off the phone with her, but apparently had no choice.
"I'll call you in a couple of days when I know what flight I'll be on."
"Great." Martin tried to act enthusiastic. "I…" He was going to continue on with saying 'I love you', but stopped when he heard the phone click. She had already hung up.