Chapter 3
Yami had been pacing the bedroom all night after he had got back from his venting. It hadn't done any real good and he was still seething at Yugi. He wanted a drink so badly but with no money at all, he couldn't get one.
He paused for a moment and looked down on Yugi who was for once, sleeping peacefully. There was a slight smile playing on the corners of his mouth making him look angelic. The bruises from Yami's last attack had faded almost to nothing showing perfect creamy skin.
Yami growled in frustration. How dared he to have gone out without asking him permission first? Was he meeting someone in secret? At that moment he didn't care but Yugi would when he woke, he would care a lot.
He resumed his pacing but stopped when he heard Yugi stir in his sleep. He moved over to the bed and lay down behind Yugi so he would be ready when he woke.
It was not too long before Yugi stirred and opened his eyes. He could feel warmth against his back and snuggled into it sensing Yami there. The taller of the two reached a hand over and brushed the golden bangs away from his face tenderly and Yugi turned slowly to face him.
"Morning Aibou." Yami warmly said hiding his true feelings with the expertise of one well experienced.
"Hi Yami." The other responded shyly and tears formed in his beautiful eyes. Was his Yami truly returned to him? Was the drunken part of him gone forever? Yugi studied his partner's eyes closely searching for any sign of the abusive person he had shared his life with for so long but he could find none.
"Why are you crying Aibou? Glad to see me or is there something else?"
"I'm glad to see you." He would have added 'sober' but he had no desire to spoil the moment by dragging up bad memories. Maybe Yami was sorry for the way he behaved and would love and protect him just like he used to do when they first met.
"Are you sure there is nothing else you need to tell me?" Yami's tone had altered very slightly but Yugi was too lost in the feeling of happiness that was flowing through him to pay it any attention.
"Nothing that I can think of." He responded smiling but the smile vanished when he felt a hand close round his throat.
"Are you absolutely sure about that aibou?" he said, emphasis on his once affectionate term for his partner. His voice had gained a distinct menacing tone and Yugi was suddenly scared again. "What about going out without my permission? Where were you going? You were meeting someone weren't you?" he demanded all pretence gone from his voice leaving behind raw anger and Yugi knew then that nothing had changed. The grip round his throat tightened and Yugi felt his airways being crushed. Struggling to breathe he shook his head slightly.
"I wasn't meeting anyone." He said and coughed trying to free his throat of any extra obstruction that might be there. "I just needed some things from town and didn't want to disturb your sleep."
"Then you should have waited for me to wake up and then asked me permission." Yami growled. Quite suddenly he let go of Yugi's throat and turned away in disgust.
Yugi coughed in agony on the bed his chest still painful from his recent illness and he groaned.
He never saw the fist coming towards him. Even if he had, he could not have moved in time. It slammed into him and pain exploded in his face as his nose broke. Blood gushed everywhere and he clutched at his face screaming in agony.
"SHUT UP!" yelled Yami and began to lay into the small form on the bed with all his pent up anger driving him; Yugi curled into as tight a ball as he possibly could while blows rained down on him. He tried to retreat into his mind to block out the pain but he couldn't, he was still too weak to do anything except lay there curled up and take it.
Lost in a world of rejection and pain coupled with the realisation that Yami would never change he braced himself to die at the hands of the one he still loved with all of his heart.
Eventually the pain grew too much and he passed out.
Yami looked down at the bloody and broken mess on the bed which lay unmoving. His anger now all gone having taken it all out on Yugi and realisation struck him like a slap. He'd killed him.
Memories began to flood through his mind no longer fogged by anger or alcohol. Memories of their life together before all this started. Even the ones he had had the day before of that first fateful night out couldn't penetrate his clouded mind but now they were as clear as day. What had he done?
His hands dropped to hang either side of him and then he was crying. Why? Why had he done it? Why had he been so angry? He crumpled to the floor tears flowing down his face but he made no move to stem the flow. Realisation hit him like a tsunami wave and the past years of abuse he had dealt to his aibou came to his mind making him reel back in horror.
"What kind of a monster am I?" He whispered. His mind was playing every little detail over like some sort of horror movie that he couldn't stop with a remote control.
He was sober and he had beaten his beautiful lover to death in a fit of rage that should never have been there. He had wanted a drink and had taken it out on him without a second thought. 'No not a second thought' he mused feeling sick to his stomach, 'I planned it, I actually planned it when in reality…' He paused as the awful and terrible truth dawned on him. He didn't even need a drink now, didn't want one at all. Ever. All he wanted was Yugi alive and back to where they should be. He wished with all his being that he could somehow turn the clock back and erase the last six years but he knew he couldn't.
His drunken mind had always reasoned that the pain he inflicted on Yugi was deserved and that it was his fault he was like he was but now he knew it wasn't really true. He had no one to really blame but himself.
"Forgive me Yugi." He wept "I'm so, so sorry."
Why had Yugi stayed with him? He knew the answer to that. He had loved him totally and unconditionally with every ounce of his being and Yami had treated him like a slave, taking his alcohol-induced anger out on him with no real reason for it. He knew that now. His mind was clear and he knew what he must do. He had to pay for what he had done, maybe one day he would make amends but he knew he could never forgive himself.
He thought about ending his own life and pleading with Yugi in the afterlife, if such a thing existed, for forgiveness but that would be the easy way out for him. He had to suffer for everything he had done and pay for it all no matter how long it took.
He made his way downstairs and picked up the phone, which by some miracle had not been cut off and dialled a number.
A voice answered and he replied,
"Please come quickly, I…I've killed him!"
The pain was gone; he could still sense it knowing it should be there but being unable to feel it. Why wasn't he in pain? Was he dead? He remembered blows raining down on him and then blackness.
He tried to open his eyes and managed to open them a crack before shutting them again quickly in pain. The light that had shined was too bright and he was blinded by it.
Where was he? He sniffed the air smelling disinfectant and his fogged mind tried to place the smell. Then he knew.
'I'm in hospital.' He thought and wondered why he wasn't dead and how did he get here? Who had found him? And where was Yami?
He tried more carefully to open his eyes and discovered that he could open them a little way without it being too painful.
"Yami?" he whispered but there was no reply.
Yami joined the queue of his fellow prisoners to collect his dinner. He held out his tray and received his food, which always looked the same. Some form of reconstituted meat which was just warm and some green stuff which neither tasted or looked like any vegetable he had ever had followed by runny white stuff he supposed should be mashed potato.
He made his way to an empty table and sat down hoping that no one would sit with him. He never wanted anyone's company but his own tortured existence.
Ever since he had beaten Yugi to the point of death, he had merely survived each day, using each waking hour to punish himself mentally for everything he had put Yugi through but it was never enough. He recalled the day he was sentenced for his crime and what the judge had said.
"Due to the fact you gave yourself up and also that you have no previous record, I sentence you to five years in prison." The gavel had fallen and he had been led away thinking that it was not long enough.
He had heard Yugi was still alive the following day and his heart leapt. So he hadn't killed him after all. But the policeman who told him also informed him that he was in a coma and unlikely to survive.
Yami had cried until his tears had all dried up and he was left with a feeling of total emptiness.
That had been three years ago and as far as he knew Yugi was still in his coma being kept alive by machines. His parole was coming up and he wasn't looking forward to it. Part of his parole agreement was that he didn't go within a certain distance of Yugi. He sighed and ate the mush on his plate not really tasting it and swallowing it down with water.
He didn't really want to eat, didn't want to do anything but cling on to memories of him and Yugi. It tortured him more remembering them and knowing that he had lost it forever. Returning his tray to the stand where the dirty dishes were stored before the kitchen staff collected them to wash up, he made his slow way back to his cell to await the summons to appear before the parole board.
Yugi had finally managed to open his eyes all the way. Footsteps approached and a nurse appeared next to his bed.
"You're awake!" She said sounding very surprised and turning, she disappeared.
'What was all that about?' Yugi wondered and again tried to work out why he felt no pain. He remembered the first blow Yami had given him and was sure he'd felt his nose break but when he raised a shaky hand to feel it, it felt whole though a little crooked and not painful at all.
'How long have I been unconscious?' he wondered and his questions were about to be answered when he could hear footsteps once again approaching his bed.
TBC…