Disclaimer: I do not own these characters

Chapter 21: Follow Your Heart

After leaving Lu's office, Randee went upstairs to spend time with her daughter in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. She glanced around at all the tubes and machines that were keeping her child alive.

"Please, baby. Don't give up the fight." She whispered softly to the tiny infant. "Mommy wants you to live. You've got a big sister at home that can hardly wait to meet you."While watching her new daughter fight with every breath, Randee wondered if maybe Bryan had been right. Would they be able to take proper care of her? She would always require so much special care, for however long she lived.

Randee sat there staring at the baby for what seemed like hours, watching her chest rise with every rhythm of the respirator. She knew that tiny Mckenzie would not yet be able to breath on her own, if at all.

Randee reached into the isolate and gently touched her daughter's cheek. "I love you, Angel. I'll always love you, no matter what." With tears streaming down her cheeks, Randee hurried from the room.

Randee walked through the park watching several groups of small children as they played. After leaving the hospital, she had driven aimlessly for over an hour before finally stopping at this park, the park where she had often brought Taylor when she was younger.

Glancing around, her eyes came to rest on a young couple, about her own age. The young woman was pushing a wheelchair, her husband carrying a little girl of about 2 years old.

As the young family headed in her direction, Randee was able to see the child in the wheelchair, a little girl of about 10 years old. She was a pretty child, with long brown hair and big brown eyes. Her face was lit up by a beautiful smile.

Randee felt the tears welling up in her eyes as she watched the family together. The young parents were laughing, as were their daughters.

"That could be us," Randee told herself. "That little girl seems happy." Randee whispered, referring to the child in the wheelchair."I wonder if they ever considered giving her up."Randee sighed heavily, then walked over to the nearest bench and sat down, suddenly feeling a little shaky and weak.

"Are you okay?" Randee glanced up to see the young mother standing in front of her. Lost in her own thoughts, she hadn't heard the woman approach.

"Uh...yeah. I...I'm okay." Randee said softly.

"You sure?" Randee nodded.

"C...can I ask you something?" Randee asked the woman.

"Sure." The woman answered as she sat down beside Randee.

"I couldn't help but notice your daughter...the one in the wheelchair. Did you ever...did you ever consider giving her up? I mean, when you found out she would be disabled?"

"No, never. When we first found out that she has cerebral palsy, we were scared that we wouldn't be able to care for her. We didn't know anything about caring for a special needs child. She was our first child. As new parents, we had so many doubts. Why do you ask?" Randee hesitated. Should she confide in this woman, this stranger? Maybe she might understand and help her make a decision.

"I had a baby a few days ago. Her name is Mckenzie. She was born two months early and developed something called respiratory distress syndrome. She can't yet breath on her own. She was also born with Downs Syndrome. And she has a heart murmur."

"Are you thinking of giving her up?" The woman asked.

"After we found out that she has Downs, our doctor had us meet with someone from the Downs organization. She told us about a couple who adopt kids like Mckenzie. I love my baby. I don't want to give her up. She belongs with her family. But yesterday..." Randee paused as a lump formed in her throat. "My husband said that he can't do this. He can't stay and watch her die. And he can't take care of a child with her medical issues."

"He wants to give her up and you don't?" The woman asked. Randee nodded.

"He said that if I choose to keep her, he will leave." Randee replied, her voice barely above a whisper.

"He's making you choose? Wow."

"I don't want to give her up. And I don't want to lose my husband." Randee said.

"Our daughter Ariel is 9. Every day I thank God for her. Sure, raising a child such as her is difficult at times. We face many challenges. But we also have many rewards. We can't imagine what our life would be like without her. I can't tell you what you should do, but I can tell you this. Follow your heart. If you truly love your daughter, noone can make you turn your back on her. Don't underestimate your own abilities to care for her. You'll do fine. And I can tell that you already have the most important quality needed for caring for her." The woman finished.

"What's that?" Randee questioned.

"Love." The woman replied. "You love her. And no matter what her medical needs are, Love is the greatest thing you can give her." The woman stood to go, glancing towards her husband and children. "For us, the right thing to do was to raise our daughter. And I know you'll make the right decision for you. I'd better go. They're waiting for me."

"Thank you for sharing with me." Randee said as she stood. "This is the hardest decision I've ever had to make. How can I choose between my husband and daughter?" The woman smiled warmly.

"Follow your heart. You'll make the right decision." The woman hurried to join her family, leaving Randee staring after her.