After debating whether or not to leave Abby alone, Kerry finally decided it was safe, and that for the time being Abby was asleep and not in danger of leaving. She checked her watch, just past four, might as well go check up on Susan and the rest of the ER staff. Much to her surprise, nothing had exploded down in the ER, no new disasters.
Susan and Luka were at the desk, talking, well Luka was talking, Susan appeared to be crying. She edged a bit closer, trying to decide if it would be wise to enter the fray.
"Hi Kerry," Susan said, as she wiped the tears off of her cheek.
"Susan, hi."
"Did she leave?" Susan asked, as a familiar doctor walked over to the crowd.
"No. She's resting."
Susan nodded and then turned to the other doctor, "thank you for coming down," Susan told her.
"Everything under control down here or could you use an extra set of hands?"
"I um I actually need your opinion on a patient," Luka shook his head, not knowing if what Susan was doing was the right course of action.
"Do you have the chart?"
"Yes," she turned around and handed over Abby's chart, not making eye contact with either Luka or Kerry.
After a quick look at the now very familiar document, Kerry spoke, "This is supposed to be upstairs."
"Kerry," Susan knew what was about to happen. "I had to," she said referring to the doctor.
"What if something were to happen and they needed her chart for reference but it was down here? What if they were to give her a drug that was contraindicated and it were to cause a reaction because they couldn't check over this?"
"I'm sorry, but I couldn't risk Abby seeing Dr. Milo," Susan explained her actions as the doctor continued reading over the chart.
"Her not seeing a particular physician is worth further endangering her wellbeing?"
"She's already so angry at us Kerry, the last thing she needs to know is that we have called for a psyche consult," she spoke trying to justify her actions.
"She at least deserves your honesty. Jeopardizing a patient's safety because you're worried about how they perceive you?"
"She trusts nobody right now, I have to work on getting that back," she turned away from Kerry and towards Milo "what do you think?"
"I think there's a good chance she'll see the chart sooner or later."
"I'm talking about you, can you talk to her?"
"Not without her knowing who I am."
"Then what the hell do we do? Kerry, we cant just leave her like this?"
"You can be there, be her friend, or her doctor, but not both. Pick one and work within those parameters."
"So you don't agree that she needs to speak with a psychiatrist?"\\
"I'm not certain. I think she could benefit from it if she wanted to, but won't benefit from anything that's forced on her."
"We would send in a consult for any victim of what she went through Kerry! We could use that,"
"If a consult had been sent immediately, that would make perfect sense."
"She has yet to even tell anything about that night! She hardly asks questions, she's pushing it away, not dealing with it! And she needs to"
"I wish I could agree with you and see it that simply."
"Oh come on Kerry! She all but said she's suicidal, that alone.." Susan was fuming, frustrated, worried sick about her best friend.
"That alone should have us trying for a psych hold, I know. But I think she's improving."
"Yeah? How?" Susan replied, as Milo began listening intently.
"Go talk to her without screaming at her about how she should be feeling and what she should be doing. See what happens."
"She refuses to speak with me, wont even look at me,"
"So talk to her."
"I cant, I don't know what to say anymore."
"Excuse me," Milo began. "It seems as if the ER staff needs more of a consult then Dr. Lockhart right now,"
"Please refrain from comments not directed at the subject at hand," Susan growled.
"The subject being Dr. Lockhart, who, as far as I can tell, seems to be the subject of conversation in the entire hospital, especially the ER. So if you'd like my assistance directly with her or not, by all means let me know."
"Watch your tone with me, I'm ER chief, you're a resident, got that?"
"Just trying to help," she replied not threatened at all by Susan. "And if I heard right, you believe Dr. Lockhart has expressed suicidal thoughts,"
"All but said it."
"So a psychiatrist's intervention just might be a good idea, wouldn't you agree?"
"Might."
"Well, here I am!" she said putting her hands in the air.
"Don't be too eager."
"Do you want my help or not? Clearly she needs it, but then just by hearing from you two, I think the bigger question is, do you want her to have the help?"
"You know what, you're a resident, and you're out of line."
"Okay," she smirked at them and leaned against the counter, awaiting further instructions, she picked up Abby's chart and began flipping through it again.
"And while you're at it, see to it that the chart gets back where it belongs."
"Do you want me to speak with Dr. Lockhart or not?" Luka watched the psychiatrist and laughed to himself, she reminded him so much of Abby. Fighting on every issue, sarcastic, yet determined.
"We'll let you know when we're sure."
She nodded and as she walked away mumbled "waste of time" under her breath.
"We have ears, you know."
"Yeah.." she trailed off, obviously having no respect for anyone in the ER department. They ignored her as she sulked off to God alone knows where
"She remind anyone else of someone?" Pratt appeared out of nowhere, obviously thinking the same thing as Luka.
"That's beside the point, Pratt."
"How's she doing?" he turned to Kerry.
"I don't know for certain. She's staying a bit longer voluntarily. I think it could be progress."
"Could be, or she could be planning something," Susan said, knowing her best friend all to well.
"We can prepare against that eventuality more easily if she's here."
"We have to be a step ahead of her," Luka chimed in.
"That's a given, Luka," Susan said flatly.
"But the problem is how far ahead of us is she already?"
"Probably a few miles."
"She's up to something Kerry, Abby does not just suddenly give in and agree,"
"I think I'm aware of that, thank you Susan."
Susan nodded, "okay then," she was more then tired, she was past exhausted, "what exactly do you think she is up to?"
"Therein lies the dilemma. I'm not sure."
"Any ideas then? So we can try and at least keep up with her,"
"Do you have any? Because that would be a really refreshing change."
"I did! That's exactly why I called for a psyche consult!"
"Fine. You're in charge of her care."
"Kerry, please don't do this. I'm just trying to help her,"
"Everyone is, but no one's doing much good."
"Then what do we do now, where do we go from here?"
"Where do you think?
"I honestly don't know anymore, this is not quite what I expected. I knew she would be angry, depressed, but not this,"
"You think anyone expected this?"
"No, I know what we had hoped for,"
"And what we were hoping for was more than a little unrealistic."
"But what we got was a nightmare,"
"What we got was a dose of reality."
"Lucky us."
"We're not the ones we need to worry about."
"Yeah well, we're past worried, we cant wait much longer to do something Kerry!"
"I know."
There was a pause, everyone thinking the same thing, but nobody wanting to say it. "She's going to hurt herself," Susan finally spoke up.
"That's not the question. It's more a matter of how that we need to figure out."
"Intentionally or unintentionally?"
"Maybe a bit of both."
"And she's alone right now?"
"She's in a ward, nurses are checking on her regularly. I doubt she can do much now."
"We are talking about Abby right? The person we didn't think could out of bed, but almost made it out of the hospital?"
"You want her on twenty four hour surveillance?"
"You've spoken to her more then I have,"
"That's not an answer to anything."
"I don't know Kerry! I haven't been able to exam her, much less talk to her!"
"So try to talk with her."
"We've already tried that, she refuses, I tried for two hours the other day, nothing. You're the only one she speaks to,"
"Try again with a different approach."
"I don't even know what to say now, I've tried everything." she turned to Luka "have you tried anything?"
"She tenses the minute a man enters the room."
Susan shook her head, "Kerry, I'm completely useless here, I cant treat her"
"Then what do you plan to do?"
"I don't know. She's going to have to be looked at soon, she hasn't let anyone exam her in two days now,"
"Someone will look her over soon."
"That's the point Kerry! She wont let anyone near her!"
"Sooner or later, she won't have a choice."
"And how do you go about making someone being examined against her will? Especially after what she went though?"
"You know, I'm not in favor of it, but Abby underwent a serious procedure, and if an infection were to develop, the complications could be catastrophic."
"I know that, but it still doesn't answer my question, how the hell do we force an exam on her, when she refuses it?"
"I don't know. Why not let someone else figure something out once in a while?"
"I tried that, I tried to get a psychiatrist up there, and it back fired,"
"You tried, and then you basically sabotaged it. Make up your mind on what the hell you plan to do."
"I want her seen by a psychiatrist, I want her to be examined and neither one seems to be working right now!"
"You say you want her to get help, then you hijack her chart so she can't, make up your mind, damn it."
"Fine Kerry! How about you being the treating physician then?"
"I don't seem to be trained in a specialty of use. She doesn't need emergentology. She needs psychology, maybe neurology, nephrology, an internist..."
"And we go full circle again, its not a matter of getting the docs in there, but Abby letting them touch her,"
"You're her friend, why don't you try?"
"We've already been through this Kerry! She won't! Apparently I've done something that really ticked her off, and she has yet to forgive me for it,"
"So try to figure out what it was and apologize."
"In order to do that, she would have to talk to me!" Susan said frustrated and slammed the chart she was holding down onto the counter top.
"Did it ever cross your mind that maybe there's something you can do that will get her to?"
"Yes it has! But whatever that is, I have yet to figure it out, so by all means.."
"If I knew what specifically that you did, or what you needed to do, do you really think I wouldn't have told you by now?"
"Fine. I'll go up there," she answered less then enthusiastic
"Good."
"But when this all goes back to hell, you can deal with her from now on,"
"We'll see."
"No," Susan shook her head, "I need to know,"
"I'll do what I can. That's the most I can promise."
"Yeah." and then she turned and walked away, heading towards the elevators.