"When are they moving me to the SPU," Abby asked, both bored out of her mind and anxious about the upcoming procedure.
"Pretty soon Abby, I don't know exactly when, but can't be to much longer," Luka spoke as he and Susan sat in her room on the morning of the transplant.
"I think it's got something to do with your donor's obsessive need for privacy, you can't go in there until they're already in the OR."
"Yeah, well I just want this over and done with," she said as she nervously played with the blankets.
"We all do, Abby, believe me."
"How long is it going to take?" she asked as a few nurses began congregating outside the door. "the surgery I mean?"
"Couple hours, maybe longer."
Abby took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down, she was visibly nervous about this, all rational telling her that she would be fine. But having three surgeries in less then two months didn't help to calm her at all. "Where's Kerry?"
"She couldn't come, Henry's caught something, she says it's probably the flu, so she's at home dealing with a vomiting toddler," Susan said, slightly skeptical of the story, but then again, if it was true, Kerry's day would be about as much fun as theirs.
"Oh," Abby said, sounding disappointed. "Is he okay?"
"Well, if it's the flu, he's definitely not happy, and neither is she, but he should be fine."
"Sucks to be her," Abby smiled trying to joke, as Elizabeth and a team of nurses walked in.
"Abby, good morning," she said, despite her years in Chicago, the British accent refused to fade.
"Hi Dr. Corday," she responded trying to hide how scared she was.
"Scared witless yet?"
"Just a little bit,"
"You're in good hands."
"I've heard that before,"
"Yes, but you know me."
"I know, I know I'll be fine," she said as the nurses began loading all the equipment onto her gurney.
"You're finally on your way to SPU, but you'll only get a few minutes there, then you're off to the OR."
"Don't kill me Elizabeth," she made it sound like a joke, but at the same time needed the reassurance.
"I don't make a habit of killing patients."
"Don't start with me,"
"I don't plan on it, Abby." Abby nodded her thanks to the surgeon as they arrived in the SPU, only slightly less nervous. "You'll be here for a couple of minutes, not long. You're familiar with the procedure, yes?"
"Yes,"
"Any last minute questions?"
"Just get it over with so I can go home,"
"Sick to death of hospitals already, I see. Well, you'll have to wait a couple of days before you can go home, after the operation, but you know that."
"Oh one more thing, if I have a tube down my throat when I wake up.."
"You will kill me. I know. Believe me, you've got a reputation. With this operation, we can generally remove the tube before anesthesia wears off."
"Okay.."
"Anything wrong?"
"Besides that I'm about to have my second life saving surgery in two months, no, I'm just fine,"
"It ought to be old hat by now then."
Abby nodded "just get it over with," she sighed and settled back down into her bed.
"Right. I've got to go scrub, we'll see you in the OR, then."
"Thanks Elizabeth," she said.
"You're welcome," she said over her shoulder as she left.
Abby sat there, listening to the machines, trying so hard to calm herself down. But when she felt a nurse grab the IV tube, her panic only increased. "Susan," she began without opening her eyes, somehow she managed to pull away from the nurse. "I can't do this.."
"What? It's not... You can do this, Abby, it'll be fine."
"No, Susan, please, don't make me do this," she didn't look up, and Luka the nurse and Susan exchanged worried glances, each not knowing what to do.
"Nobody's making you do anything, Abby," Susan said, rather worried, "but I do think you should go through with it."
Luka decided to take a different approach, he was determined to see Abby through this. "Go sit with her," he whispered to Susan, then walked over to the nurse, taking the syringe from her hand. Susan shot him a look that screamed 'what the fuck are you thinking, tell me this instant!' then complied "Abby, its going to be okay, alright? Elizabeth wont let anything happen to you," Luka reassured watching as Susan took her in her arms.
"That's not the point. Just... Don't make me do this. Please.
"Take a deep breath Abby," he said gently and firmly grabbed the IV tube. He knew the only reason Abby didn't want this was because she was scared.
"What are you doing, Luka?"
"I want you to go through with this, so does Susan and Kerry," he said and injected the drug. "But I think you want it more,"
"Maybe you're wrong and I don't."
"You wouldn't have come this far if you didn't," he said and handed the syringe back to the nurse. "You are going to be fine Abby. Once this is over, you'll be out of the hospital in less then a week, you can come back to work soon after that.."
"Just... Just shut up," she mumbled.
"We'll be here when you wake up alright?"
"Whatever."
"Okay, well the nurses are going to take you to the OR now," he said and nodded for Susan to let Abby go. She just sort of nodded and then shrugged.
"Susan.. Please." Abby begged one more time, hoping her friend would stop the surgery from happening.
"Why?" She didn't answer, didn't know what to say, just stared at her friends. "Seriously, why?"
She shook her head, not wanting to verbally admit that she was scared. "Dr. Lockhart, we need to get you to the OR now," the nurses smiled warmly and gently pushed her down so that she was on her back, before unlocking the breaks on the gurney.
"We'll see you in a few hours Abby," Luka smiled and pulled Susan out of the room. Hating what he had just done to Abby, but knowing it was for the best. "Let's go grab some coffee," he suggested to Susan.
It'd been an hour, and there'd been no news, which to Susan meant that either everything was going well, or (in her mind, more likely) that everything was going entirely wrong, and they were far too busy to come out and tell her.
"You okay Susan?" Luka asked as he took a sip from his coffee.
"Just... Worried."
"Elizabeth is a fantastic surgeon, Abby is in good hands,"
"She's going to be mad as anything though, once she gets out. And I've never heard of the surgeon operating on the donor."
"She's going to be drugged when she gets out Susan, and by the time she's aware, she's probably going to be relieved more then anything."
"And if she's not?"
"Susan, why are you so worried?"
"Because what we did was beyond unethical, and my best friend's in surgery, and I'm in a pissy mood. I worry well, okay?"
"What did we do wrong Susan?"
"You drugged her against her will so she'd cooperate long enough to get the surgery."
Luka nodded, he knew what he had done was wrong. "This is possibly the only way to get Abby back,"
"What if she sees it as being the same thing her attacker did?"
"Look, we'll deal with the issue when she wakes up okay? If you're so pissed about what I did, go complain to Kerry about it,"
"Piss off, Luka," she grumbled at him, and left the surgical hallway to find a place where she could use her cell phone. She took a deep breath and calmed down before dialing the number, it rang and rang and rang, but no answer. Finally, the machine came up, Kerry hadn't changed it in years, which was a little eerie. Why wasn't she home though, if Henry was sick, it wasn't like she was going to be at work or something. "Damn it," she hung up the phone and banged her head on the wall. She needed Kerry's advice on this, on how to deal with Abby once she woke up. Another brilliant idea struck her, pager. Kerry was a doctor, had a pager, and had to answer it. She quickly dialed in the number and waited, and waited and waited some more. Half an hour and still no answer.
The cell phone went straight to voice mail. She briefly considered actually going to Kerry's house. Apartment. Whatever it was Kerry lived in, she hadn't actually been there, and the stories from Carter could easily be antiquated... but decided against leaving the hospital. With nothing better to do, she started rationalizing. Henry was asleep so Kerry turned the ringer off of the phone, her pager battery had died, and the cell phone got turned off by accident. Or maybe she'd run off to get some kiddie flu medicine, and left the cell phone and pager at home. But that was not like Kerry, and Susan had a sinking feeling that something had happened. Whether it was about Abby or Kerry, something had happened.
She must have drifted off to sleep, because suddenly she felt Luka shaking her shoulder. "Susan, wake up."
She jumped, "Huh? What? Who died?"
"Abby's out of surgery, she's fine, absolutely fine,"
"Awake?"
"She's starting to. Elizabeth wanted to stay with her until she woke up, but apparently had a patient that required her immediate attention,"
"Did they remember to extubate her?"
"Yes, it was done as soon as possible."
"Good, that's good. At least she won't be angry over that. Just everything else."
"She doesn't have to deal with dialyses anymore, Susan, she might be relieved."
"Once she's done being pissed, yeah, she might be."
"Well we promised we would be there when she woke up," he stuck out his hand, helping Susan stand.
"Let the bloodbath begin," she grumbled as they made their way to the recovery area. They slowly made their way inside her room, not wanting to scare her just in case she was aware. Susan found a chair and sat, Luka brooded in the corner, waiting, watching.
Twenty minutes later a knock came at the door and Elizabeth walked in.
"She do okay?" Susan asked immediately.
"Abby? Yes. No complications."
Susan breathed a sign of relief, "thank you," she whispered and reached over to take Abby's hand.
"Just doing my job."
"What about her donor?" Luka whispered.
"I'm not at liberty to discuss the donor in any way."
Susan nodded. "of course,"
"Mind if I stay in here with you?"
"As long as you don't mind getting your feelings hurt when she wakes up,"
"Is there something I should be aware of?"
"She didn't want the surgery right before.. Right after you left,"
"Dr. Kovac, if you did anything I'd be obligated to report, I suggest you not discuss it."
"Then I won't." he looked at Susan, silently asking her not to say another word. Corday knew he had done something, but Susan and Abby and the nurse knew what he did. "Susan," he nodded to Abby's left hand, her fingers beginning to move back and forth.
"Abby, can you hear me?" she nodded her head. "You wanna open your eyes maybe?"
"no," her voice was horse, but at least she spoke to them.
"I see."
"I'm tired, I want to sleep," she yawned, obviously forgetting that she had just come from surgery.
"I'm not going to debate that."
"Don't leave okay?"
"Okay."
And then she was out again. "She didn't seem to upset," Luka smiled.
"Luka, do me a favor?"
"Okay?"
"Call Jerry and tell him to keep paging Weaver until she shows up."
"She still hasn't called you back?"
"Nope."
He shook his head and stood up "do you two need anything?"
"Caffeine would be delightful."
"Elizabeth?"
"Same, if you don't mind."
"Its not a problem. I'll be back soon," Luka grabbed his jacket and left. Leaving Susan and Elizabeth.
"So, Susan, any major happenings since I left County?"
"Carter went back to Africa, Pratt's as arrogant as ever, but aren't they all. And then of course. Abby,"
"Africa... Why?"
"To be with Kem, don't know if you two ever met."
"Name doesn't ring a bell. Dubenko still there?"
"Wonderful surgeon, saved her life," she nodded to Abby.
"Then I can't gracefully condemn him."
"I don't know how he did it honestly, I don't think he even knows how he did it,"
"Sometimes in surgeries, things go so horribly wrong for no reason, even if the operating team did everything right, it's like the patient just doesn't want to live. Other times, a patient will survive when every medical instinct you've got is saying their next breath will be their last."
"We didn't think she would even make it to the trauma room, much less the OR. Then Dubenko told us she wouldn't make it through the night"
"That happens some times. I've given up wondering why."
"You say it's the patients will to survive sometime in the surgeries, but honestly I don't think Abby has that anymore."
"I think she might still. Maybe not like she did, but to some degree."
"I hope so, I really do, but I don't believe it. Not anymore. If she had been like this, her attitude when we found her, we would have lost her that night,"
"We'll see."
""Yeah. We'll see."
"Hello Miss. Weaver," one of the nurses stuck her head in the room. "How are you feeling?" she asked as she checked her vitals.
"Like I was sliced open," she mumbled truthfully. And freezing. And boiling. And generically shitty. She'd just had a kidney taken out though, wasn't like she was going to feel great.
"To be expected after doing what you did. Can I get you anything?"
"Another blanket would be good."
"Can do,"
"Thanks," Kerry said quietly and shifted a bit, trying to get comfortable.
"Would you like me to page your doctor?" the nurse offered.
I am a doctor, she thought, "Not if there isn't a reason to."
"Do you think there is a reason to?"
"You're the one who deals with this on a daily basis, I generally try to avoid hospitalization, so go with your judgment on it," of course, if Kerry knew what her temperature was at, she'd have said otherwise, but nurses were competent, at least the ones she worked with, and smart enough to know when a doctor was needed. Hopefully.
"Alright, I will come and check on you later then," she smiled and walked out.
Kerry knew intellectually, that she ought to be bored out of her skull, begging the nurse to bring her JAMA or The Annals of Emergency Medicine, but she was tired, just wanted to sleep, and secretly doubted she'd be able to focus enough to absorb any of the information. Probably the pain meds they had her on. Pain medicine, and surgery could defiantly make one sleep for long periods of time, and sleep sounded perfect right then.
By the time the nurse returned with the blanket, Kerry was already sleeping. Seeing this, she decided not to wake her patient, she was supposed to check vitals, but how could anyone heal if they weren't even allowed to rest uninterrupted. She picked up the chart, and after looking over the details from her last check, she jotted down vitals that corresponded pretty well, dropping temp by a degree and a half, as it had been elevated by that amount previously. And voila, she was done faster, and her patient could sleep a bit longer, thus everyone was happier. She didn't think twice as she left the room, ready to go home, shift change was happening now, she had to update the new nurses on her current patients.
"She doing okay?" Luka asked as Susan slipped out of Abby's room.
"Yeah, and still not pissed at us, go figure."
"They're still pumping the good drugs into her then,"
"Yeah, probably."
"Still asking where Kerry is?"
"Yeah."
"Have we figured that out yet?"
"Still not picking up at home, cell's still going to voice mail, and not answering pages."
"That's not like her Susan, Abby is getting frustrated, Kerry is the only who can actually talk some sense into her, and now she's MIA?"
Just then, as if on cue, Susan's cell phone rang, eliciting glares from nearby nurses.
"Hello," she answered quietly.
"Hi, Susan?"
"Kerry! Is Henry alright? We've been trying to get a hold of you!"
"He's about the same. Sorry about that, had to turn the ringer off on the phone, kept waking him up."
Susan listened to her voice, it sounded as if Kerry had caught something, "Are you okay? You don't sound to well,"
"Sick kid leads to little sleep," she paused for a moment, "I think I've caught whatever Henry picked up in daycare."
"Sounds like it. Anything I can get you?"
"Are you kidding? I could practically start a pharmacy out of the downstairs medicine cabinet."
"Kerry, you sound like hell."
"Gee, thanks. I sound worse than I am."
"Abby keeps asking for you, wondering when you are coming,"
"I don't want to get anyone sick, especially Abby. Give her my regards, and I'll be there as soon as I get over this virus."
"Maybe call her Kerry, just.."
"What?"
"Because Luka drugged her and she's barely holding back from taking his head off. So she can hear your voice.. I don't know.."
"I... Okay, I'll call her in a bit."
"Well get your rest first, she'll be able to hear how bad you sound just like I do. it's the last thing she needs right now though."
"I'll keep that in mind. And give Luka a thorough chewing out for me. What he did was completely against the Hippocratic oath, and common sense."
"I've tried.." Susan glared at him.
"Never mind, I'll do it myself when I can."
"Thanks Kerry, get some rest alright?"
"Yeah, I'll try." Susan didn't say anything in reply just hung up the phone, looked at Luka and laughed, knowing what was coming once Kerry got hold of him.
"Something funny?"
"It will be for me once Kerry finds you"
"That was her then?"
"Yeah, apparently she caught what Henry has. Apparently," she didn't quite believe the story.
"Maybe I should stop by and check on her on the way home."
"She's going to chew your ass out, you know that?"
"If she's not feeling well, she might not. And with her son sick too, she likely won't have the energy. I remember how it was when my kids got sick. No one slept."
"And Kerry knows how you drugged Abby,"
"I take it she wasn't pleased."
"YOU DRUGGED HER LUKA!" She didn't quite scream but the irritation was there.
"And maybe it wasn't the right thing to do, but Abby's not mad over it, so why should Kerry be?"
"Because what if Abby does become angry over it? How the hell are we going to justify that? How are we going to win her trust back?"
"Kerry wasn't there, didn't do anything, so she can win it back. Or Hernandez. Either of them."
"But Abby works directly with you!"
"Eventually, she'll realize it was in her best interests."
"To drug her to cooperate Luka? To ensure she couldn't fight?"
"Just this once, it may have been the right thing."
"For us or for Abby?" she asked seriously then turned and walked back towards Abby's room.
"For everyone involved."
"Fine Luka, fine." she couldn't fight anymore. Not with Luka, not with Kerry, not with Abby.
The shift change had happened and it was a new nurse that entered Kerry's room this time. She knew immediately something was wrong, very off. "You okay?" she asked just out of politeness.
Kerry took a moment to process the words, she was about half aware at best, just enough that she knew she wasn't 'okay'. "I uh… No. I don't think so."
"Yeah, neither do I. Who do you want me to page?"
Surgeon... What was her surgeon's name? Too tired to remember... Oh well... the first name that came to mind was, "Corday."
"Okay, I will be right back," the nurse didn't waste anytime and quickly paged Elizabeth Corday to Kerry's room.
The nurse's urgency set off a few warning flags, but Kerry sort of shook them off. When Elizabeth arrived as quickly as she did though, it was a bit worrisome. "Hi."
"Don't look like you're feeling your best Kerry," the surgeon hurried over.
"Don't think I am," she muttered. Dizzy, tired, achy, roasting, freezing, the air was too thin.
"I'm going to take your vitals, alright? See what's going on," like hell there was much of a question, Kerry was white as a sheet, and looked like she'd faint if she stood, or even sat up, and though she hadn't said anything distinctly off, Kerry didn't seem quite all there, not delirious and raving, but not up to say, a real
and coherent conversation either. With the shivering, that she had a fever wasn't much of a question. Sepsis seemed the likely culprit. Delightful, not. Hopefully reversible. But first she had to take vitals. When all the response she received from the normally rather vocal Kerry Weaver (she assumed that her former boss had not changed that much over the course of a few months) was a halfhearted shrug, Elizabeth's concern escalated further. When she touched Kerry's forehead, it was burning, but when she was wrapping the blood pressure cuff around Kerry's arm, she found that skin freezing. Blood pressure was holding, despite tachycardia, so it wasn't shock yet. As advanced as the sepsis seemed to be, though, unless the source of the infection decided to cooperate when antibiotics were administered, it was likely to advance to shock, and quickly.
"Diagnosis?" Kerry asked, not particularly interested in complete sentences.
"Possibly sepsis," Elizabeth said quickly, somehow maintaining her professional composure.
"And I was starting to think there might be something to worry about," it was meant to come off as sarcastic, but clearly didn't quite hit the mark.
"And I'm going to take care of you alright?" she tried to reassure. Kerry shrugged and closed her eyes, mumbling something Elizabeth didn't quite catch. "I'm giving the nurses orders for cephelosporin, for now, we'll see how that works. I'll be back to check on you in a bit," she headed towards the door. And once again, all Kerry could do was nod.
"Abby," Elizabeth greeted as she entered her patient's room, "How are you feeling?"
"Tired, but otherwise fine,"
"That's good. According to the monitor, your vitals are normal, I don't normally let patients gauge this, but as you're a doctor, does the incision look like it's healing well?"
"I said I was fine Elizabeth," she said, shortly.
"Alright, I'm not debating that."
"Its fine, I looked at it yesterday," and it made her sick to her stomach, not the scar, but that it would be a constant reminder of Stenton.
"And since I know you won't let me get a look at it, I suppose I'll have to take your word on it."
"I never said you couldn't look at it Elizabeth,"
"In that case, may I please?"
Abby didn't say anything but nodded her consent. "Its fine I'm sure, so when you see it, I'm guessing you can give me an estimate as to when I can be discharged?" she smiled at her as she laid back in the bed.
"Probably yes."
"Thank God," she sighed and Elizabeth got to the bedside.
"Okay, Abby. It looks good, shouldn't even leave much scarring. Unless you do something like develop sepsis on me, I think you can go home in about four days."
"How about two?"
"We'll see how you look in three, but that's my final offer."
"Fine." she stopped and looked at Elizabeth. "Look I know this sounds off, but I have the feeling something is being kept from me.."
"Such as?"
"I don't know anymore, but I know how to tell when Susan and Luka are hiding something from me, whatever it is, maybe you are to?"
"If you'd like to know anything, by all means, ask away."
"Where's Kerry?" no need to dance around it.
"Wouldn't she be the one to ask?" a sinking feeling was developing in the pit of Elizabeth's gut, "She and I don't exactly have a daily chat on the tellie to catch up on old times."
Abby looked at her for a few seconds, then nodded. She had truly developed a sense for telling when something was being kept from her. That and Kerry who had visited her nearly every hour for the past two months, had not come by in two days.
"I seem to recall Susan having mentioned something about Henry catching a bug of some sort?"
"You and I both know that is total bull shit Dr. Corday,"
"I don't see any motive to falsify on that matter."
"You turn red when your lying, Susan gets mad when confronted about being angry, and Luka just walks out,"
"I think you're reading in things that simply aren't there."
"Okay," she didn't argue with her, didn't really care to. In all honesty, she was worried that she had pissed Kerry off in some way.
"Anyhow, if everything's alright here, I need to check on a few other patients."
"Thanks Elizabeth and I'm holding you to that three day discharge,"
"As long as you don't decompensate, there won't be a problem, see you later."
Elizabeth didn't quite sprint back to Kerry's room, but was moving fast enough to be slightly winded when she arrived. "Kerry? Are you awake?"
"Now I am,"
"Sorry, you need your rest, but I think Abby's on to something. She keeps asking about you. Doesn't quite believe whatever story you've been having them feed her about the flu or whatever."
"Susan and Luka don't know."
"Well, I think they need to. Abby knows something is up."
"Dial her room. Please," Kerry hated to have Elizabeth perform such a simple task for her, but it required less energy than asking for the extension to Abby's room and then reaching for and dialing the phone herself
"Okay?" she reached over and dialed Abby's room number and quickly handed the phone over.
As it required less effort than holding the receiver, Kerry balanced it between her shoulder and ear. Abby picked up immediately.
"Hello," she said as she flipped through the channels on the television.
"Abby... Hi," Kerry did her best to sound normal. But unfortunately, her best attempt wasn't all that good.
"You don't just have the flu do you Kerry?" Abby didn't bother with sounding nice, she was worried.
"I still think it's flu. Forgot to get the shot this year... Didn't want to get you sick."
"I'm fine, but you sound like hell,"
"Sound worse than I am."
"What's really going on Kerry. I'm not stupid here." she was starting to wonder... Could it have possibly been...
"Need to take vitamin C. Henry just threw up. Take care," she handed the phone back to Elizabeth to hang up.
"Kerry!" Abby shouted into the phone and once she realized the other had already hung up, threw the phone across the room.
Susan walked in just in time to duck the projectile. "What was that for?"
"Nothing!" if they were going to keep things from her, she could keep things from them.
"That wasn't nothing. Since it was her name you just screamed, safe to guess you're mad at Kerry?"
"Something's wrong Susan, its not the flu,"
"I've been thinking the same thing, she called me earlier today, sounded... shitty. I'd check on her if I knew she wouldn't kill me for it."
"You go check on her, or I will,"
"If she kills me, or I get sick, I won't come to visit you."
"Fine. I'll go," she sat up, knowing Susan would cave.
"I didn't say I wouldn't go. Stay, lay back so you don't tear out stitches or something."
"Nothing is going to happen to me Susan,"
"I know. I'll stop by her place tonight, after I stop by the hospital and get someone in personnel to let me look at her file and figure out where the hell she lives."
"Promise?"
"Yeah."
"Okay. Um I'm going to get some sleep,"
"Okay. Sleep well, Luka'll probably be here later."
"Susan, please go check on her now, I'll be fine... Just..." she didn't finish her sentence, fell asleep right in the middle of it.
Susan shook her head and left, pulling out her phone to call Luka, who was probably just finishing a shift. Maybe he could get Kerry's address for her, keep her from taking the tiki tour. Of course, with her luck, Kerry probably lived in Lake Forest or the far end of town.