"Abby, it's me," Hernandez said as Susan left with the restless child. All she got was the same finger Susan had received. "Yeah, well. Not the first time I've seen that."

"Go," she spoke for the first time in four days, but still did not open her eyes.

"Hah, no."

"You can't help me,"

"Okay."

"Then why are you here? Besides your obligation,"

"Irritating thing called the Hippocratic oath."

"First do no harm correct, then how come they saved my life, why are you keeping me here?"

"Because their definition of harm seems to differ from yours."

"Yeah and what about yours?" as she became more aware, she felt the burning around her neck and brought her hand up to rub it. Stupid idea, trying to strangle herself, should have gone with something else. "I don't need you,"

"That's right. You don't need me. Hypothetically no one needs anyone or anything, but the results of this complete independence can be disastrous."

"And I care because…" she was mentally cursing herself for choosing to come back. "If I cared about the implications of being totally independent, I don't think I would have tried to kill myself Dr. Hernandez,"

"I'm not saying you should care. I'm just commenting."

"I don't want to hear your comments; I don't want to hear you, or anyone else for that matter. So do whatever you're planning to do, then leave me the fuck alone,"

"Doing what I plan on doing and leaving you alone aren't compatible."

"I'm fine, you're going to lock me up, I can't hurt myself there. Give up," she tried to roll over onto her side, but quickly realize that whoever had taken care of her, had connected monitors and wires and that the slightest pull she felt as if either they were either going to rip out, or fall.

"I don't give up."

"Neither did I, not until all this,"

"Well, if you're planning to give up, that's your business, but I'm not all that keen on letting you."

"Look, you can try all you want, you can say whatever you want, but I can guarantee you its been said to me before. My mind is made up, I will try again and again until I succeed," no point in denying it anymore.

"You'll have an interesting time trying much of anything in a lockdown ward."

"Watch me," Abby finally opened her eyes and looked at Hernandez. "You can not stop me; I will find a way,"

"Touché. We'll see. Good luck, I suppose."

Abby didn't say anything to her after that, just was there, thinking, how could she follow through on a threat if they decided to restrain her.

"I have to ask why you did what you did."

"You're kidding right?"

"No. It's one of the standard questions after a suicide attempt, and I'm too distracted to be creative."

"You don't need to be creative, I know you knew about who the donor was, and honestly I'm sick of everyone telling me it will get better, its been two and half months since that night, and its only gotten worse,"

"Yeah, I knew who the donor was. I got stuck babysitting. It's gotten worse so far, but a lot of times, things get worse before they get better."

"A lot of people would consider the night they were restrained, raped in a fucking closet by two men, stabbed and left for dead in the snow the worst night of their lives, and for a while I thought it was."

"And what changed that?"

"I survived, that's what changed. I wasn't supposed to live, I was supposed to die that night in the snow, I was supposed to have died long before Kerry got to me,"

"But you didn't. So, you can deal with that, or you can dwell."

"Or I can end it myself,"

"Advantages of doing that?"

"Why does it matter, you'll just argue against anything I have to say, try to persuade me that life is worth living, that I can work though this, that the world keeps turning, sun keeps shining,"

"Maybe I will, and maybe I won't, but at least give me the opportunity to make an intelligent counter statement."

"Go ahead then,"

"So, why did you do it?"

"Because I don't want to live like this any longer, because I haven't been outside a hospital in three months, because everyone treats me like I'm two years old, its nothing to do with what happened to me that night." lie, she just didn't want to talk about it, had yet to tell anyone all the details.

"I'm rather skeptical of that story."

"I don't doubt it"

"So why not tell me the truth?"

"What's the truth then? You've seen the news reports, you have my chart, you know what happened,"

"And from what I've heard, you've yet to tell a soul about it. Haven't even talked to the police yet."

"And nobody needs to know, its not their business how the events played out that night,"

"Okay. Fine."

"So how about you just take me to my room now, and then go back to wherever it was you came from,"

"No thanks."

"Why am I down here still then?"

"Because they were waiting for me to get here before they did anything."

"Well do whatever it is you need to do then, I want to sleep,"

"Too bad."

"Excuse me?" okay, now Hernandez was really starting to egg her on, she was talking, Abby didn't even realize how much information she was actually giving.

"You want to sleep, but for now, you don't get to."

"And why not?"

"Because no one gets what they want in life all of the time."

"Yeah no shit! I think sleep is a necessity though!"

"You've been getting quite a bit lately."

"Well just in case you've forgotten, in the past month, I've had heart surgery, oh yeah and four days ago a kidney transplant, forgive me if I'm exhausted," not to mention that she had just tried to kill herself.

"Suck it up and deal with it kid."

"What is your problem? I'm sorry, I'm tired, and if I want to sleep, then damn it I will,"

"Sure, you can sleep if you can drown out my blabbering."

"I've done so for the past four days,"

"Well, I'm in an exceptionally lousy mood, and when I'm not happy, I get long winded."

"What are you planning on lecturing me about then?"

"I haven't decided yet. Whatever feels relevant."

"How long are you planning on keeping me here?"

"I haven't decided yet."

"Long time then," she began, but was interrupted when a knock came at the door. A nurse pushed her way in, but as the door swung shut, Abby saw two cops right outside.

"Dr. Hernandez, can I speak with you privately?" the nurse asked, shooting Leslie a glare that meant you better get your ass out here.

"I'll be back in a moment, Abby. And yes, you're being watched. So don't try anything yet."

She stepped outside and ran straight into Luka and Susan, and then of course the two cops. "Please tell me you didn't tell Abby that things were going to start looking up."

"I told her life was tough, and sometimes it got better, and sometimes it got worse, and you'd better have an excellent reason for pulling me out of there."

"Stenton escaped," Luka said coolly. It was defiantly a good reason.

"When?"

"Sometime this morning, they just realized it, although I don't know how they could have missed it," Susan glared at the two cops.

"From which prison?"

"Cook County Jail,"

"Any idea where he might be?"

"They have no idea, do you officers? The most highly published criminal right now in the nation has escaped from prison and nobody has any idea as to where he is!"

"Have the press got wind?"

"They are all at County, I guess they still believe that's where Abby is, police are there also they think Stenton is dumb enough to actually come after her there,"

"I guess the foil's worked so far, but it may be good to move Abby again. Just in case. Mount Sinai, maybe."

"She's not going to let us do that,"

"We'll see."

"She's going to wonder why, we're going to have to tell her.."

"I'll tell her. That's fine."

"This couldn't have come at a worse time, they called me right before we found Abby,"

"Well, it's not like we have a choice of whether or not to deal with it."

"Good luck,"

"Might just need it this time."

"Do you want me to come with you?" Susan offered, handing a sleeping Henry over to Luka.

"Might be a good idea."

Susan nodded and swallowed as they walked back into the room, this was not going to go over well at all.

"Abby, there's been some news."

"Okay.." she kept her voice deprived of emotion, even though she didn't like how that sounded.

"It's about Stenton."

She felt her heart quicken, anxiety begin to build up and she began shaking her head. "No.." she was regretting her decision to live more and more. But then again, if she wanted to die so badly, why was she worried about Stenton coming back? Why was she scared of what he might do to her if she didn't want to live?

"He's out of prison. Escaped. Police will find him fairly easily, and this place is swarming with cops, including several undercover. He won't get to you."

"Oh God," she shook her head again and began shaking. "He's going to find me,"

"If he does, he'll be caught."

"No, you don't understand, you don't know what he said that night," Abby began detaching the leads attached, not really even thinking about it. Stenton was the only thing on her mind.

"Well, if he comes back for you, isn't that just what you want? What you claim to want?"

"No, not by his hand," Susan looked at Abby and then back at Hernandez, the doctor was good at what she did, she had easily got Abby to talk.

"So it's a control thing."

"I don't have any control over anything, please, you have to let me get out of here,"

"So you can take control by offing yourself?"

"I don't know!" she was scared shitless, her greatest fear had just become a reality, and then add to it, there was always the second person she had yet to identify who was still out there.

"Well, I have to know."

"Why! Its not like you can let me go anyway!"

"You don't know that. It'd be a tricky thing to do, getting the hold lifted, but it's not impossible."

"Like its going to happen after a suicide attempt!"

"It probably won't. Especially with your current attitude. But it doesn't have to get longer."

"My current attitude? What the fuck does it matter? He is coming back! He will find me, he will finish this, he will kill me!"

"If you want to die, does it really matter who does it? It's a loss of control, but with your desired end result."

"Yes it does! He wont make it fast, he'll hurt me again, drug me, keep me with him for hours, he'll repeat that night! Its what he told me!" Susan once again looked at Hernandez, Abby had spoken more about that night in that once sentence then she had in two months.

"Why do you believe him?"

"Why shouldn't I? I cannot afford not to believe him, so please let me go I have to get away," she was crying and Susan cautiously walked over and wrapped her arms around Abby.

"I can't do that."

"No, he'll find me, he'll kill me, he's smart, and I wont be surprised if he knows where I am."

"Want to be moved?"

"No, not again, I don't want to have explain everything all over again, I don't want to have to worry about trusting who is injecting me.."

"Well, you can't be released right now, so your choice is to stay here or to be transferred."

Abby put her head on Susan's shoulders, she honestly did not know what to do, how to proceed, where to even go. Stenton was smart enough not to go to County, he probably would find out somehow that she had been transferred. "He wont give up until he finds me, him or.." she closed her eyes and suddenly her mind flashed back to that night. She was as scared now as she had been then. If not more, she knew what he was capable of.

"There are probably more cops here than at the PD, Abby."

"Its not Stenton I'm worried about, he will get to me eventually, it's the other one, The one I can't remember, the one I can't protect myself against,"

"We say no visitors, there won't be any. We say only one nurse can get in, then that's how it is. You can be kept safe."

After a good five minutes of thinking about it, Abby realized she could not change their minds, if they wanted to believe that she could be kept safe, then let them. But she refused to be transferred, not again. "You said there was a lot of cops here, wouldn't that set off something,"

"Many are undercover. The rest are placed strategically, it won't be a problem."

"Susan.." she was crying hard. "Don't let him here, please," she begged of her best friend.

"I'll do what I can, Abby. You want me to stay here with you?" but her crying didn't calm down, she was literally shaking. In one day, she had tried to kill herself and failed miserably, and now the person who had tried to kill her was on the run. It was all to much. She felt Susan rubbing her back trying to soothe her, promising that she would do all she could to keep her safe, telling her it would be okay, she felt her grab the blanket from the bed and wrap it around her shoulders, and then pull her back to her body. She heard them talking to her, encouraging her to communicate with them, but she couldn't, she was just to scared.

"Abby, what can we do for you right now?" she wanted to yell at them to sedate her so that she wouldn't have to deal with this, so she could sleep one more time, before the nightmare became more of a reality. "If there's anything we can do, we'll do it, you do realize that?"

"Knock me out," she whispered, but kept her face in Abby's shoulders.

"What?"

"Fucking sedate me!"

"Why?"

"You just told me you would do what you could, and now you're questioning it!" she screamed at her, hell if they weren't going to do it by asking, she sure could give them no choice.

"I'm not sure if we can, Abby. Dr. Hernandez?"

"Please Susan, don't make me think about this right now, please"

"I don't have privileges here, Abby, I can't treat. It's up to Hernandez, you have to ask her."

"You heard me, you heard what I asked for," Abby turned to face Hernandez.

"It might be a possibility, but I need to know why."

"Because I can't think about this, I can't sleep knowing he got out, please this is all I'm asking, please,"

"And when do you suggest we stop sedating you?"

"I'm not asking for more then once, just right now I can't.."

"When do you anticipate being able to deal?"

"When I wake up, I promise I'll talk.." never in her life had Abby ever imagined begging to be sedated.

But if they refused well, she could give them no choice.

"A promise doesn't mean much."

Abby shook her head, and pulled away from Susan. "Please," she begged one more time.

"Alright, we'll give you light sedation. You'll probably drift off for a few hours, but after that, no more."

Susan looked at Hernandez unsure if this was the right move, but at the moment she really didn't know.

"Thank you," Abby spoke softly.

"Don't mention it," Leslie replied emphatically, "please. Don't mention it."

"I won't," she promised and sighed a breath of relief, as Susan continued to hold her and rub her back. Abby felt her reach in front and grab her arm, so that Leslie could have easier access to the port.

The sedatives were administered, and while they didn't knock Abby out per say, they calmed her enough that eventually she was able to sleep.

"Should we leave her in here by herself?" Susan whispered.

"You said you wouldn't, and I'm holding you to that. I'll have them bring you a cot."

"Are you going to move her to a locked ward?"

"When she comes around."

Susan nodded then smiled. "I don't think she really wants to die, or else why would she be so freaked out about him coming back?"

"Possibly just a control issue, but I think there's still some will to live."

"I hope there is, can't say I agree there is though. Are you going to hold her to her promise, about her talking about that night?" Susan looked up and it unnerved her to see that the entrance to the room was completely guarded by cops.

"I'll do my best to prod her into discussing it."

"Good luck with that," she whispered as Luka stepped into the room, Henry still asleep in his arms.

"Thanks. I won't need it. He giving you any trouble?"

"None at all," he handed Henry over, "been asleep the entire time," he stuffed his hands into his pockets. "There's been no sign of him, press is all over it,"

"Any show up here yet?"

"No but its just a matter of time, cop cars are everywhere, someone is bound to figure out."

"We'll deal with that when it happens I guess."

"When he finds her then?" she didn't want to admit it, "or when whoever the second attacker was, finds her,"

"They'll get caught trying to get in."

"Stenton would yes, but what about the second attacker? Abby said that he was wearing scrubs that's all she can remember, for all we know he's dressed as one of the cops!"

"He won't be able to get in anyhow. Not even the cops are allowed in the room, not the male ones at least, and Susan, you're staying here."

"What if we told the media, about the suicide, make it look like she succeed? He couldn't come after her then, not if he thought she was dead," it was a horrible thought, but they had to protect Abby, at least until he was recaptured. And after that, the media would leave Abby alone. But the more Susan thought about it, the worse the idea sounded. She shook her head, not believing she had even considered telling the media that.

"No. He would probably come to check on her, and besides, it'd wreak havoc on her emotionally."

"Like his escape isn't?" Susan turned and began pacing. "I can't believe this, how the fuck did he just walk out?"

"He's a smart man, Susan. And you cannot tell the press that she committed suicide."

"I'm not, I'm trying to figure out a way to help Abby, to keep him away,"

"Likely, he won't get to her, Susan. How to keep him away isn't your job."

"I know, I know its not,"

"So stop doing it."

"Then what? What can I do for her?"

"You can stay here and help her if she asks. Keep her from panicking when she wakes up, and be her friend."

"Of course," she nodded and once again took her spot next to Abby, only praying that Hernandez was right and that Stenton couldn't get to her.