The sedation lasted longer then they had expected, Abby had slept through the night and well into the next morning. When she woke up, she discovered two things. She was no longer in the ER, and that as usual Hernandez and Susan were there. Maybe it had been a horrible nightmare, Stenton escaping. But one look at the door, at guard posted there, reminded her that it was indeed reality.
"Hey, finally awake?"
She nodded, and looked at the clock on the wall, it was nearly noon. Then she saw the television, the news broadcast. "It really is true then?" she whispered.
"Yeah."
She glanced around the room now having a pretty decent idea where she was. "I'm guessing this is a locked ward?" on the plus side, it would be pretty hard for anyone to get in there. On the other hand, she was in a locked ward.
"Yeah."
"How long am I here for?"
"Right now, it's a forty eight hour hold, and you've slept through the first eight, so if you don't do anything to piss Hernandez off, you'll get out of here at the same time Elizabeth said you would." Abby nodded, and sat there for a while, just thinking. How the hell was she supposed to get out of this mess? Once she got out of the hospital, Stenton had easy access to her. "Or you can voluntarily stay longer."
"That's not going to happen," Abby laughed, well sort of.
"Okay, hun."
"Is the media here yet?"
"No. No one knows you're here."
"Until someone slips,"
"People won't slip."
"How are you so trusting Susan? How do you know.."
"Almost no one knows you're here. The room, it's not under your name, only those who are treating you know who you actually are."
"And the cops, and the other patients who have seen me, and Morris and Pratt.." she trusted Pratt, but Morris was a different story.
"Morris is fearing for his job, Ke... He was made to shut up."
"What about everyone else who has seen me, the cafeteria workers, and I'm sure when Elizabeth dragged me down to the ER, more patients saw me.."
"The only photo of you that's been released to the press so far looks nothing like you."
"Do I even want to know what photo that was?" Susan swore she saw the hint of a smile.
"As far as I can tell, it was taken during your 'brush? what's a brush?' phase."
"Oh you mean my entire residency then?"
"No. You're well groomed now. More like when you were a nurse oh... about six years ago."
"Thanks Susan.. I think.."
"You're welcome, but I didn't do it."
Abby looked over at Hernandez and the back to Susan, her expression reading 'why is she still here?'
"Because she is who she is and Luka's giving her a break from Henry for as long as she's here."
"I'm not going to try anything, you can go check on your other patients," Abby said rather coldly to Hernandez.
"I'm not on call, I'm not supposed to be at work, and I'm not going back to a screaming toddler for another few hours if I can help it."
"So leave Luka to baby sit and go get some food, coffee, anything."
"He won't baby sit if I'm not in here."
"So you're using me?"
"Do you really want the honest answer to that? If I can do anything to help you, I will. If not, I'll enjoy a few minutes peace."
"What is it that you think you can help me with?"
"That's up to you."
"Yeah, how so?"
"I can only do as much for you as you will let me."
"I don't know what you want me to say"
"Whatever you want."
"Such as.."
"Like I said, completely up to you."
"And how is this going to help at all?"
"Time will tell."
"That's all I ever hear! Time, time and more time! In time I will move on, in time I can get back to a somewhat normal routine. But you know what else that's funny about time? In time Stenton will find me, in time he will hurt me, and in time he will kill me,"
"Or in time he'll be caught. Why worry about that which you cannot affect?"
"Do you have any idea what hell I went though that night, I have no choice but to worry, what if he puts me through that again?"
"What can you do to stop it?"
"Not give him the fucking chance!" she screamed at Hernandez, Susan sat in the corner, somewhat relieved that at least now Abby was showing emotion.
"Any chance you want to get back at him?"
"Of course I do, I want him to suffer, for him to go through what he put me through,"
"Well, you can't quite do that. But you can thwart him."
"How?"
"What doesn't he want you to do?"
"I'm sorry?" Abby looked up at Hernandez confused, how had she known?
"Would you say his goal was to ruin you?"
"I think his goal was to kill me. He was so mad, all because I told him no, that I couldn't go get coffee with him that moment,"
"If that was his plan, wouldn't he have finished it then?"
"I don't know what stopped him, I think," she closed her eyes trying to remember that night, "someone was coming, he got scared,"
"So why wouldn't he have just bolted instead of dragging you outside? Why would he call someone to tell them you were in trouble."
"I don't know, outside, he called Kerry, he wanted them to feel powerless, to watch me die, he was sure they couldn't save me,"
"Or maybe he wanted to mess with your mind."
"Then why did he try and kill me that night in the ICU?"
"To fuck with everyone else's minds."
"Who was I in his eyes then? What the hell did I do that was so right to him?"
"Only he knows that, if he knows."
"I had no idea that it was going to happen that night.. I knew something was coming but that night.."
"Why would you have known?"
"He warned me, he sent letters, phone calls,"
"Why would you know that night? Or exactly what to expect? You're not omniscient."
"I could have gone to the cops before,"
"Why would you think it was anything more than a bad joke?"
"Have you seen the letters, either of you?"
"I read some of them," Susan admitted.
"And you haven't Dr. Hernandez, it was obvious something was going to happen.. Especially the last one."
"Did he tell you what, where and when?"
"Not until we we're in the closet, he told me what was going to happen," Susan shook her head, they had just got Abby to tell exactly where it had happened. Now they at least knew it was inside the hospital, not outdoors.
"So there was no way you could have known."
"Okay.."
"Do you agree or no?"
"I don't know. Common sense what say that you are right, but then for some reason my mind is telling me I should never have answered.."
"Answered what?"
"Him, I was walking back towards the ER, I heard him call my name, and instantly I recognized it from the phone call the night before. Then I thought this is the hospital, ICU, if he tries anything, this place is swarming with people."
"It was a logical thing to think."
"So I just stood there, and let him come to me, I didn't even see the other one until he had grabbed me from behind."
"No one has eyes in the back of their head."
She seemed to have left their world and was in one of her own. "I remember thinking, someone will come soon, just try and fight them off," Hernandez nodded, not wanting to interrupt Abby's recollection of the night. "Then one of them, I don't know.. Stuck something in my thigh and then I just couldn't fight them anymore,"
"They drugged you, Abby"
"I couldn't move, I was aware, I knew what.. I knew what was going on."
"Alright."
"No its not alright! They carried me down the hall, and a security guard stopped us, asked if I was alright,."
"And what did they do?"
"Said that I had fallen had hit my head, and that they needed to check me out. The security guard believed them, told me to feel better, and walked away. I guess if you wear scrubs, you're automatically considered to be doing the right thing.."
"I guess so."
"They said something else, told me everything would be fine, then suddenly became really dark, they blindfolded me.. maybe that's why I can't remember who the second one was, he was behind me the entire time. I think they took me into a supply closet, they threw me on the floor, Stenton took off my clothes,.." she wiped a tear away. "And then everyone knows what happened from there."
"Maybe."
"The rest isn't important," she tried, but she just didn't want to talk about the most painful part.
"That's debatable."
"Why? Everyone knows what happened? Why make me relive that again?"
"I'm not making you relive it. I'm trying to convince you to deal with it."
"I have dealt with it, I know what happened to me, I'm trying to deal with what's going to happen once he finds me,"
"If he finds you."
"And when he does, what are you going to tell yourself then? That you did all you could, there was nothing else to do, it was the cops fault?"
"No."
"Then what?"
"I don't plan on him getting to you."
"I wish I could say that I know you can stop him, that the police will catch him"
"I can stay in here, or Susan can stay."
"And in forty hours, then what?"
"Hard to say just yet."
"Exactly, you can't protect me forever"
"So uncertainty alone is enough to make you throw in the towel?"
"I have never been more scared in my life then when I found out he had escaped,. Not even on that night,"
"Well, what if he gets caught?"
"Then I face him in court the I have to relive it again, this time in front of him, then everyone will know every detail about that night, and I'm sure the fact that I tried to kill myself will become known."
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why would that be so bad?"
"I don't know," she said after thinking about it.
"You could always ask for a closed courtroom."
"Do I have to testify?"
"Not if you really don't want to."
"The cops have their evidence right?"
"Yes."
"But they'll call you as a witness," she looked at Hernandez. "They'll want to know.."
"I'm bound by doctor-patient confidentiality."
"But you have to tell them something,"
"Since when?"
"The law, to put him away, their going to ask about me, you'll have to tell them something"
"No I won't."
"Then Stenton will know something is wrong, when they have a psychiatrist onto me that refuses to comment,"
"I wont answer to a subpoena if you don't want me to. He's the one on trial, not you."
"Well I don't think we have to worry about a trial right now," Abby said her eyes glued to the television set. Her picture had just been flashed across the screen, then Stenton's. "I had worked with him earlier that day, in a trauma."
"Okay."
Abby once again went quite, amazed that she had actually spoken about that night after suppressing it for so long. "How bad is the bruise," her hand went to her neck.
"Very purple."
"I didn't think I had tied it that tight,"
"You did a pretty good job."
"Who found me?" she remembered the experience she had, had, meeting Kerry. But Susan and Hernandez already thought she was crazy enough, didn't need to tell about that.
"Dr. Corday."
"It was her voice then.. I heard someone pounding on the door, but I couldn't recognize it."
"Probably me." Susan spoke softly.
"What? I.." she shook her head, whose voice had she heard?
"Did it sound familiar?"
"Vaguely, someone was asking for the key,"
"Probably one of the nurses."
"How long was I.. before you got in?"
"A couple of minutes."
"And then, how long in the ER?" Kerry had said something about five minutes, but Abby seriously doubted she was only there for that period of time. She remembered the feeling of having to suck in a deep breath, possibly when they cut, or took the tube off.
"Maybe thirty minutes tops."
"Not long," not nearly long enough to have actually come close to succeeding.
"Yeah."
"I'm sorry Susan, I'm sorry for everything I've put you through," she apologized, only guessing everything that she had put her best friend through.
"Don't worry about that Abby."
"I didn't want you to care, I didn't want you to be hurt when it ends,"
"I'm not planning on letting it, Abby."
"But you need to," she paused. "I won't do it though,"
"You'd better not."
"I won't, besides there is nothing here I can use,"
"Not encouraging, but I'll take it for now."
"Not like you have much of a choice but to believe me,"
"True."
"So what now Dr. Hernandez?" Abby looked at the other doctor in the room.
"Well, I could stare at the ceiling for a few hours."
"Have fun,"
"Fun, no. Enlightenment, maybe."
"What more is there to do in here, besides escaping babysitting?" it was unnerving to have the psychiatrist at her side all the time.
"Who knows?"
"You do, there has to be a reason as to why you are staying. I can't hurt myself, and even if I could, Susan wouldn't let it happen,"
"Maybe I feel a need to observe your body language."
"Why?"
"It says more than your voice tends to."
"You don't believe I'm telling you the truth then? You think I'm just saying this to get you out of the room, so I can finish the job."
"I don't think you're lying. It's just that sometimes there are other sorts of information one can gather."
"Yeah and what have you gathered about me so far?" she was beginning to get defensive again, and Susan shot a glare at Hernandez.
"Not much, other than that you're exceedingly defensive."
"I think I have that right," she said as she pulled the blanket closer around her body.
"And you detest me."
"I never said that,"
"But your posture did."
"So what? There are not many people I do like right now!"
"I am well aware of that."
"Good!"
"From you're way of seeing things, I'm sure it is."
"There is nothing wrong with the way I see things,"
"I never said there was." Abby nodded, but was barely resisting the urge to shoot up from her bed and hit the doctor. "So, do you want to talk or do you want me to shut up?"
"What more is there to talk about?"
"Anything, nothing."
"What you want my life story? Okay, born into a fucked up house hold, got married, he screwed me over, we divorced, nurse in the ER, a relationship ended badly, went back to med school, then abducted by a gang of thugs from our ambulance bay and then a year later this. Anything else you need to know doctor?"
"This isn't David Copperfield, Abby.":
"Then quit pretending like you give a damn! I'm just another patient to you, disconnect yourself, I know how it works,"
"How do you know what I do or don't think?"
"Just. God damn it, just leave for a while alright?"
"Why?"
"Because I need privacy!"
"To do what?"
"I am not going to hurt myself!"
"Okay. But to do what?"
"What the hell, watch TV, read, sleep, think, something!"
"How do you need privacy for that?"
"Would you want to be with someone twenty four hours a day, not being able to be alone?"
"Fine, I'll be gone for a while. Not sure how long exactly."
"Thank you, Susan please go, just for a while."
"Go where? Do what?"
"How about a shower or a decent meal?"
"I'm not hungry and I don't reek."
"Just for a while.. I can't do anything Susan, the guard is at the door.."
"Fine. I'll be back in half an hour. Exactly."
"Thank you," she sat back into her bed, and closed her eyes, thankful for the momentary peace.