Chapter 15

"So you think you can tell me who my mother was, do you?"

Johnny's voice was filled with hostility. He couldn't help it, he thought he finally left it all behind him. He never wanted to hear those names again. None of them! He didn't want to feel the abandonment again. He never wanted to feel that kind of physical pain again. He didn't want to remember the mother who abandoned him to a life of torture.

"Alexis, I don't want to hear anymore. Please. Just let me be."

"Johnny, I can't. I need you too much in my life to leave it like this. Please hear me out. I need you to hear me out."

"Do you think you can take away the fact that I was abandoned as a baby? Do you think you can take away the pain of my Lexie dying?"

"Johnny, you weren't abandoned. You were taken from your mother when your father found out about you. You were not a baby when you were taken. You were a little boy who was very much loved by his mother. Your father wanted you protected from his wife. He wanted you to grow up free from hate. You were his favorite son. He wanted you close by him so he could see you every day if he wanted to. So, he took you to his groundskeeper's wife. I believe you called her 'Nana'. You were with her a few years before you were found out. Your father didn't do such a good job of hiding you. Because he wanted you close by him there was always the risk that his wife would find out. And then the night came when you went in search of your little sister. I'm told she had a knack for wandering off. When you couldn't find her you went to the big house, didn't you? The castle."

Johnny was beginning to remember. "I couldn't find her anywhere. It rained all day and it was getting dark. It was the only place I hadn't looked. So, I went to the castle and knocked on the door. It looked like maybe a butler or something that answered the door, but when I peeked in I saw this tall woman. She looked at me like she had seen a ghost. I tried to ask about Lexie but she went wild, screaming all over the place. I ran. I ran as fast as I could back to Nana's. When I got there, Nana had found Lexie and she was sick. I heard her coughing. She couldn't catch her breath. I took her away from Nana. I wanted to make her well. Pap came running in and whispered something to Nana. I wasn't paying too much attention to them. I was watching Lexie and she got real quiet all of a sudden, I couldn't hear her breathing anymore."

Johnny clutched at Alexis as his voice rose in anguish. "Alexis, she stopped breathing. That's when Nana took her away from me and told me she died. Nana was crying and holding Lexie. I couldn't make her well. I took your sister and she died. Alexis, I didn't mean it. I just wanted to protect her. I didn't mean to..."

"I know Johnny, I know. After Nana took Lexie, Helena came after you didn't she? She took you to the... castle."

Johnny remembered where he was taken and he finally remembered what they did done to him. He looked at Alexis. "Did they take you there too? Did they do it to you too?"

"Yes, Johnny. You and I were branded as bastards. Those are what the marks are on our arms. And unless I'm mistaken you have a larger scar on your back. If you were to take a pen and connect the scars you would see the Greek symbol that was used for marking bastards. Cigarette burns made the scars. Stavros held you down while Helena marked you for life with the tip of a lit cigarette."

Sonny stood transfixed. He was hearing it, but he couldn't believe it. He began to understand why Johnny was the way he was. But, what struck him the most was the incredible strength both of them had to have in order to survive the ordeal without going completely insane. His arms ached with the need to hold Alexis and make the hurt go away. But, this pain, this agony he couldn't take away from her or Johnny. They shared the grief, they shared the pain; only the two of them could help each other out of it. He would be by their side though, patiently waiting if either of them needed him. As he tried to calm his own soul, he heard Alexis begin to speak again.

"The only part of the story I seem to be missing, Johnny, is how you got from the island to Puerto Rico where you met up with Sonny. But, that can wait for now. There are still a couple of pieces to the story missing for you. Yes, I know who your mother was and I know who your father was. Do you want to know?"

"Alexis, did she love me? That's all I want to know. I have hated my mother all my life for abandoning me. Now you tell me she didn't. How do you know?"

Alexis reached to pick up the manila envelope again, pulled out a picture and handed it to him. "This is your mother. Look at her Johnny. Look at her face. Is that the face of a woman who would abandon a child?"

Johnny looked long and hard at the picture. It was a picture of 2 people. It was the boy that held his attention first. He was 3 maybe 4 years old and looked happy and contented as he leaned against the woman; his hands disappearing in the folds of the dress she was wearing as he held onto her leg. The woman standing next to the boy was looking down at him with her arm around him. She was smiling the sweetest smile. He had seen that smile before. Johnny raised his astonished eyes to Alexis' face, reached over and touched her cheek.

"Lexie?"

"Yes, Johnny, the name you gave your little adopted sister was mine first. I am your sister, in every way, and so was Kristina."

A sob broke from Johnny as he bowed his head and allowed the memory that had been buried so deep to wash over him. She had been his first love. He loved her from the moment of her birth. They had been inseparable. He had cared for her, protected her from the falls little children have, even took the blame when she got into trouble. He remembered her stubbornness, her spirit, her laughter. He remembered her love of life and he remembered how much she loved him. Their life had been one perfect day after another. Brother and sister taking on the world together, until...

Alexis saw the grief he was trying to hide from her and gently brought his head to her shoulder and with one arm around him and her hand on his head she held him to her and rocked him as a mother would a crying child. She didn't remember him as he remembered her. She was too young to remember when he was taken. There would be stories later to share, stories he would tell her and they would again laugh with each other. She sat there with him for the longest time. When he finally lifted his head he slowly reached up with both hands to hold her face between them. He needed to see her, not the woman she was now, he needed to see his Lexie again. He looked into her eyes searching... she smiled gently at him and there, for a few moments he saw her. With all of the tenderness his big body was capable of he took her into his arms...

"I found you little Lexie... I found you..."

They forgot about Sonny. Didn't notice he left the room. They were finding each other again after being torn apart so many years ago. Sonny didn't wanted to intrude on their time together. When they heard him come back in Alexis turned to Sonny and told him she was ready now and he immediately left again.

"Johnny, how are you feeling? You know you've been through a lot lately; first with the shooting and now with all that you've remembered. Are you ok?"

"I couldn't be better, Lexie. And I am never going to let you out of my sight again."

Johnny watched her face grow serious again and waited for her to continue.

"Johnny, the story isn't finished yet."

Turning at the sound of the door opening, Alexis, looking at her brother with tenderness gently placed her hand on his cheek, stood up and walked toward Sonny. She took his hand and kissed him then turned toward the young woman he brought in with him. Alexis took her hand and guided her over to Johnny.

"Johnny, I believe you have already met our guest once in your life, but I'd like to introduce you to her again. This is Kristina, your youngest sister."

Johnny had risen to his feet when Sonny came in. As Alexis walked toward him holding the hand of the young woman, he slid to his knees and tears were again running down his face. Alexis didn't have to tell him who it was. He knew. He had loved this little girl. He had kept her image in his heart since the day he thought he lost her. He reached toward her and pulled her into his embrace. And with him on his knees holding her, she quietly holding him, Alexis stepped toward them and put her arms around both of them. And together, they released the years of torment, loneliness and grief.