Super Smash Bros: What They Didn't Show You in the Game
The Master Hands
Disclaimer: No, I do not own Nintendo nor do I have posession of the characters.
A giant glove hovered over a dark platform. The space around it was a fascinating pattern that was a mixture of regal color in thunder-like waves. The hand tapped its index finger on the platform in impatience.
"Lefty! Hurry up!" the glove bellowed.
"Stop nagging! Geez, I'm coming," a distant voice boomed back.
"We must get the heroes and heroines here in an hour! What's taking you so long?"
"I have nothing to wear!"
"Just wear your same old glove!"
"That glove's in the washer. Oh, what am I going to do, Righty? I don't want to be introduced naked!"
"Arrg…Just borrow one of mine."
"That would never fit right!"
"It will if you put it upside down!"
"Wearing clothes backwards? I do hope you're kidding."
After bickering over menial tasks, the two hands finally agreed it was time to summon the guests. They clapped together and one by one, flashes of light appeared around the room and familiar game stars appeared, very confused. First, of course, came the rather short plumber. Peach, Yoshi, and the rest of the Mushroom Kingdom celebrities followed. Soon the equally confused game characters from other famous games appeared in the cramped room.
"What am I doing here?" Samus asked.
"What is that 2-Dimentional thing doing here?" Captain Falcon added.
"What is Ganon doing here?" Link asked wide-eyed.
"HELLO! We are the master hands!" Righty announced.
"We are like the gods of this world. We see all, and we control all. AND WE ARE BORED!" Lefty shouted dramatically.
"So we have sent you all here for our enjoyment and then we shall study your techniques and sell an interactive game for a profit." Righty said.
"Righty, we weren't supposed to tell them that." Lefty whispered.
"Oh yeah. Uh, WE WILL JUST SIT BACK AND MAKE YOU FIGHT!" Righty corrected.
"You will all live in a mansion, do dangerous tasks we don't feel like doing, and…"
"You're glove is on backwards." Zelda said, pointing at Lefty.
"I TOLD YOU SOMEONE WOULD NOTICE!" Lefty cried as he left the room sobbing. Silence spread for the next few moments until Righty spoke out.
"Anyway…You all get comfy at your new home until we tell you otherwise." And with that, Righty snapped and the characters appeared in front of a huge mansion…5 feet off the ground. The heroes and heroines recovered from their aerial injuries and entered the mansion to introduce themselves. Zelda offered to introduce her friends first.
"I'm Princess Zelda, this is Link, and this is…Ganondorf…" Zelda said.
"I think those gloves made a mistake when they brought this so called 'hero' in this." Link sneered.
"They must be crazy sending a skirt-wearing fairy boy too, huh?" Ganondorf countered.
"For the last time, it's a tunic!" Link said, before he and Ganon was pulled out of the center of the room by Zelda.
"I'm Samus. None of my friends were brought here with me…" she said in dismay. No one could really see what she was really feeling because of her excessive armor.
"It'sa me! Mario!" Mario shouted.
"Allow me to make the introductions, Mario." Peach giggled.
"I'm Princess Peach; this is Mario, Luigi, Yoshi, Bowser, and uh…Dr. Mario..." Peach said.
"What's the difference between Mario and Dr. Mario?" Kirby asked.
"I'm not entirely sure…"
"We're the Ice Climbers!" the tiny duo announced in unison.
"Pika! Pi PikaCHU!" the rat-like Pokemon squeaked.
"What did that thing say?"
"He said 'My name is Pikachu. This is Pichu, Jigglypuff and Mewtwo,'" a Pokemon beside it said telepathically.
"Okay then…I am Prince Marth and this is my brother, Roy." A blue-haired man declared.
"Why couldn't I make the introduction?" His younger brother complained.
"Because you're the younger sibling." Marth reminded him.
"I am Mr. Game & Watch," a 2D pixilated figure said in a computer generated voice.
"I'm Captain Falcon. SHOW ME YA MOVES!" Falcon shouted randomly. Everyone stared at him awkwardly until he commented, "Sorry. I…do that a lot."
"I'm Fox. This is one of my partners, Falco." a stealthy fox said as he pointed to his falcon friend.
"I'm Kirby!" a puff of pink exclaimed. Kirby's elation quickly turned to a sneer when he heard Falcon snickering at his small appearance.
"I'm Ness," a young child about the age of ten proclaimed. Falcon couldn't help but crack up at this.
"A kid? Ha! This fighting stuff is going to be a snap." He said bluntly. At that point both Kirby and Ness were on the same page with the Captain.
"Wow, I can't believe this is happening, Link…Link?" Zelda murmured, looking around the room to see where her hero had gone. She gently tapped on Samus's shoulder.
"Yeah? What do you need?"
"I usually don't ask about what Link destroys in his free time, but are butlers in this era a threat?"
"What? Of course not! Why would you…"
"Please stop!" a man cried. The group looked in his direction to see Link threatening the butler.
"And just what do you mean by 'can I take your hat, sir?' Are you planning on confiscating it to see if I have any weaknesses?" Link asked accusingly.
"Link, calm down! Just because this is the future doesn't mean everything is dangerous." Fox reassured him. Apparently Link didn't hear him because immediately afterwards he plunged his sword into the dinging toaster.
"I think the talking road kill has a point," the tv boomed. Everyone gasped as they stared at the phantom tv.
"Don't you stab this new tv!" the talking machinery said before Link could react.
"Since we are like the gods of this world, we are transmitting from Hands Eat All Vans Every November, or H.E.A.V.E.N." one of the hands explained. It was clear both hands were talking, but they had the same voice so one really couldn't tell.
"About taking you all from the state you were in…once Righty and I are entertained enough you will all return to the exact place and time from which you were taken." Lefty explained.
"So don't get all teary-eyed that you can't see your family or friends! To them, it's been two seconds since you were gone and THEY DON'T CARE!" Righty added.
"For your first assignment, you will all need to pick a challenger. We'd prefer for two people not to choose themselves because we love seeing people beating the snot out of each other."
"And before we go, we forgot to drop off your last roommate." The tv switched off and in a flash of light, another Link appeared in the house. It was indeed, confusing at first, but the triforce bearers seemed to know what was going on.
"Link, that's you seven years ago!" Zelda declared.
"Major dejavu here." Young Link said.
"Wait, so this is like a younger version of you?" Peach asked.
"Somehow I can vaguely remember all this." Link noticed.
"Well, if this is you seven years ago, then anything that happens to your younger self affects you now." Zelda concluded.
"Does this mean we have to introduce ourselves again?" Falcon complained.
"Would you please?" the Kokiri kid requested.
"Arrg! I'll just do it. This is Mario, Doctor Mario, Peach, Luigi, Bowser, Yoshi, Kirby, Donkey Kong, the Ice Climbers, Ness, Link, Zelda, Ganondorf, Fox, Falco, Captain Falcon, Pikachu, Pichu, Jigglypuff, Mewtwo, Marth, Roy, Mr. Game & Watch, and I'm Samus."
"Wow, you cana remember thingsa wella." Mario stated.
"I'm confused. I was riding Epona through Termina and suddenly I was zapped into this cracked up world." Young Link murmured.
"Well, before you came, the Master Hands told us all to choose a challenger." Zelda explained.
"Master Hands?"
"They claim they're the gods of this world. But they're just some crazy gloves." Ganondorf smirked.
"We heard that." The radio shouted. Young Link then flipped out and plunged his sword into the radio.
"Some things never change." Falco snickered.