Nine Months – Changes 4

By Kudara

Disclaimer: Star Trek Voyager and all who sail in her belong to Paramount/Viacom and no infringement of copyright/trade marks is intended.

Rating: Adult

Feedback: Always welcome, feedback is what encourages me to keep writing. Please let me know what you like and what you dislike about the story.

Revision History: 12/04/05

Summary: Friendship is not quite enough for their captors.

Chapter 16 - Stardate 52539.1 (July 16, 2375 11:05pm)

B'Elanna stared into space, arms wrapped around the woman so sweetly nestled against her. It wasn't that she had any regrets, she didn't. It was just so strange to think that only five months ago she hated Seven, or more accurately she hated the person she had though Seven was, and tonight… tonight, she had been Seven's first lover, and Seven had become her lover.

It was just… where did they go from here, how should she treat Seven in the morning, how did Seven want her to act? What did she feel for Seven? What did Seven feel for her?

Their lovemaking had been so intense, so open, and it was not only the intimacy of watching and feeling Seven orgasm for the blonde's very first time, but afterward, when Seven had asked B'Elanna to teach her how to make love so that B'Elanna could experience what Seven had. And she had, influenced by Seven's innocent sensual openness, she had been more frank and open with the blonde than any other lover, letting Seven know what pleased her, what felt good, how she liked to be touched with a certain level of firmness, a certain intensity, but never roughly.

She had never told anyone so explicitly what to do to arouse her. Seven had been a quick learner, and before B'Elanna knew it she had found herself at the mercy of a lover who suddenly seemed to have an almost innate sense of exactly how to touch her to give her the most pleasure. Seven's eyes had locked on hers as they made love, giving her the level of contact she craved. Seven's touch became confidently firm, demanding her responses, and giving B'Elanna the security she needed in Seven's desire for her. It hadn't taken long under the blonde's attentive touch, for her to loudly cry out her release, and surrender to the waves of pleasure that Seven's touch aroused.

Afterward, Seven had stretched out beside her, and just as B'Elanna had done for her, cradled the half-Klingon in her arms. After a brief moment of surprise, B'Elanna had relaxed into the blonde's body, allowing herself to enjoy the tender way Seven was stroking her back and pressing slow, light kisses into her hair. It was, of course, the same as she had done while Seven rested; she hadn't thought much of it at the time, except that it was what she felt like doing as the blonde cuddled against her.

She had looked up into Seven's eyes, they had been so blue still, and held such an expression of tenderness and caring that it had taken her breath away for a moment. She could count on one hand the number of people she could recall that had looked at her as if they truly cherished her. Her father when she was young, her mother before they had begun arguing constantly, Tom sometimes especially after they made love, and now Seven.

Shortly afterward they had curled up together and Seven had fallen asleep, leaving B'Elanna to contemplate the woman sleeping in her arms and wonder at the direction their relationship had just taken. It didn't really matter right now to B'Elanna that it was what their captors wanted, it didn't even really matter much that she hadn't desired Seven before the treatments last week. She wasn't really thinking about the why's of what had happened, she was thinking about her own emotions, and Seven's.

Now she was wondering about her past assumption that Seven had only been taking care of a member of her Collective, one that had become a friend. Now she was wondering if friendship had changed into something else before last week for Seven, because the look in Seven's eye… She would swear that it had been somewhat more than just affection for a friend.

Only, she wasn't sure what she felt for Seven. Before tonight she would have unhesitatingly said friendship, but that had been before. Before she had touched…before she had watched…before she had listened…before she had realized how enthralling making love to Seven could be, and certainly before she knew what it was like for Seven to make love to her.

Now she didn't know what she felt for Seven. Love? No, she thought not, at least not yet, but she had the uneasy feeling that Seven would be all too easy for her to fall in love with. Lust? Oh definitely, she was certainly feeling that for the blonde beauty. The mere memory of Seven lying beneath her with her hair spread out, lips reddened from her kisses, and those eyes, so dark, so alive with desire, B'Elanna shuddered; just the memory of how Seven had looked was enough to wake her desire.

B'Elanna raised herself up on her elbow and examined the sleeping face of the woman next to her. Ruefully she acknowledged that she hadn't felt this level of physical attraction for anyone, not even Tom Paris. Easing back down, she allowed herself to wonder how Tom was doing, if he had gotten out of solitary alright, if Harry had helped him, and wondered if he had gone back to Megan Delaney yet.

Memories of Tom had once made her angry and despondent at the thought of never seeing him again, now though she only felt mildly sad at the thought of what might have been, but now wouldn't. Nuzzling her face into Seven's blonde hair, she inhaled deeply, absorbing the scent of her new lover. 'Goodbye Tom, I hope you find someone to love you.' She wished silently.

"B'Elanna," a husky whisper drew her attention.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," B'Elanna apologized. She loosened her hold as Seven shifted, rolled over onto her back and looked up at her, still sleepy eyed.

Seven reached up with one silver banded hand and gently traced the ridges in her forehead tenderly. Seven's eyes were focused upon her hand, but then shifted to meet B'Elanna's, and there it was again, that gentle, caring look, the same one from earlier, the one that said to B'Elanna that she meant something to Seven.

Lips so soft, full and inviting, B'Elanna did not really remember initiating the kiss, only that Seven's arms were winding around her back and not so subtly letting her know that Seven wanted B'Elanna on top of her. The half-Klingon gave into the gentle pressure and rolled on top of the smaller woman, being careful to support most of her weight on one knee and arm.

"B'Elanna," Seven cried pleadingly against her lips and arched into her.

B'Elanna inhaled through her mouth and nose, taking in the mingling of woman and machine that was Seven's unique scent, along with the heavier musk of her arousal. "Yes," B'Elanna growled softly in reply.

Chapter 17 – Stardate 52547.62 (July 19, 2375 09:11pm)

"You are so beautiful," whispered B'Elanna reverently as she stroked Seven's arm. She frowned as Seven's eyes shifted uneasily from hers at the words. "Seven?" she questioned concerned. Seven remained silent, and would not look at her. B'Elanna could feel the sudden tension in the formerly very relaxed body lying so closely against her. The half-Klingon searched the averted features of the blonde, trying to figure out why the statement had bothered her so, and why she didn't want to admit that it had.

"Don't you think your beautiful?" she hazarded a guess as to what the issue was after thinking about the way Seven hadn't wanted to touch her with her left hand the first day they had made love, until she had made it clear by making love to the metal banded fingers with her mouth, that she certainly didn't mind them touching her.

Seven's eyes met hers' for a moment then flickered away again. "I am aware that my physical appearance is considered appealing, B'Elanna." the blonde paused, "Thank you."

'What the hell? Where did that come from,' B'Elanna thought. "Seven?" she said uncertainly, "What are you talking about, your beautiful in so many more ways than just physically."

Seven's eyes met hers once again and B'Elanna was dismayed at the amount of hurt and confusion revealed in them. "B'Elanna I am…" Seven trailed off.

B'Elanna pulled Seven into a tight embrace, responding to the pleading look in her blue eyes. She didn't know exactly what was wrong but she recognized that look, Seven got it sometimes when she was trying to figure something out, but found whatever it was too painful and confusing. "What's wrong," she whispered into blonde hair.

"I am…" Seven's muffled voice trailed off again for a moment, "I find that I am remembering events from Voyager, and I do not understand why." The blonde's tone betrayed her sadness.

She frowned, "What events?" Seven just buried her head against her chest in reply and squirmed closer. B'Elanna shifted so she could hold the blonde more securely against her; deeply concerned that Seven was hiding from her and not responding. She was somewhat amused that the blonde was hiding from her by apparently trying to hiding under her, and pleased that whatever was bothering Seven, the blonde wasn't responding by pulling away from her, but was silently asking for reassurance.

Reassurance, her mind latched on to the word, suddenly a bit less pleased with the fact than she had been. Why did Seven need reassurance from her, did she think B'Elanna would be displeased or angry by whatever these events were? A memory surfaced, and suddenly B'Elanna suspected she knew what Seven was remembering, and why her statement would have triggered the response it had gotten.

Harry had been staring at the Borg, longing apparent in his eyes when B'Elanna had come up beside him and started harassing him. "Yea, well physically she might be beautiful, but it's only on the outside, inside she's just a machine, emotionless and cold. Don't be taken in by the packaging, Starfleet, you'll just get hurt." Seven had looked up then, and she had thought the drone had heard, but Seven simply walked past them, remote and distant, as always. It had been the first time she had said something like that, but it certainly hadn't been the last. Variations of it had become her stock answer to anyone commenting favorably about Seven's looks.

B'Elanna closed her eyes, feeling the all too familiar stirrings of remorse. 'I'm so tired of feeling this, haven't I apologized enough?' she thought. Then her eyes snapped open and her body stilled as she thought intently. 'When have I apologized to her?' she asked herself bluntly. Her mind came up with a few answers, but they were all for specific incidents. She had been feeling remorseful for quite awhile, and had apologized in her mind frequently. But actually telling Seven that she was sorry for the things she had said and the way she had treated her…No, she hadn't actually done that.

She looked down at the woman buried against her chest, once her enemy, now her lover, and her friend. She had probably been one of the nastiest people on Voyager to Seven, and yet, the blonde forgave her enough, to let her get this close. But B'Elanna's past actions and words, the one's she had somehow, against all rational expectations, hoped Seven had forgotten, could not, and obviously were not, forgotten. B'Elanna suspected their current closeness was what triggered Seven's memories of the past, evoking comparisons between B'Elanna's past actions and her present behavior.

If she was right, it would also explain why Seven wouldn't particularly want to bring the subject up. She knew that Seven enjoyed the recent change in their relationship, and having decided that pleasure was relevant, had become quite interested in both experiencing and giving it. B'Elanna suspected she didn't want to do, or bring up anything, that might result in a disruption of the new physical intimacy in their relationship. And then of course there was the other consideration, namely Seven's emotions for her, even though the half-Klingon only had suspicions about what they might be. She couldn't imagine that if she was right, and Seven cared for her as much as she thought she did, that Seven would want to hurt her by bringing up those incidents.

"Seven," she whispered sorrowfully, "are you remembering the things I used to say about you." Seven's body jerked slightly, then stilled completely, "It's alright, Seven. Shhh, shhh," she murmured, "please look at me, Seven." She entreated but Seven shook her head silently and pressed her head against B'Elanna more tightly.

"Seven," she requested, "I'd like for you to look at me when I beg you for forgiveness."

Seven slowly pulled away, "B'Elanna?" she questioned, confused.

B'Elanna stared for a moment at the blonde, eyes tracing the silvery implant around what she knew was an artificial eye, the real one taken from a young Annika Hansen while still a child. She stared into blue eyes that, just as the cliché claimed, were windows into Seven's soul, once a child, once a Borg, now a woman trying to discover who and what she was.

B'Elanna did not notice when the nervousness left, and surety took its place, but without thought, without considering whether they were the proper words, she spoke, "They say the eyes are the windows of the soul, in yours I see the child you were, the remains of the drone the Borg forced you to be, and the wonderful, caring, nurturing, funny, startlingly intelligent person that you have, and continue, to become. I was such a fool; I don't even understand now why I was so mean to you, why I had to see you as just a drone."

She paused, noting with amusement the clearly astonished look Seven was giving her, "I didn't see you Seven, I saw only what I wanted to see. I didn't see who you were until a few days after we came here. I was wrong Seven, so very wrong." Gently she reached over and cupped Seven's face, "You are beautiful, both inside and out, never doubt that." Their eyes met for a long moment, Seven's searching, questioning, and B'Elanna trying to show how much she meant the words she had just spoken.

"Can you forgive me for the things I've said to you, the way I treated you?" B'Elanna asked humbly.

Seven nodded, "Yes," she whispered her eyes soft and bright.

B'Elanna gently trailed her hand down the blonde's face, reached for Seven's left hand. Seven did not resist as she brought it to her chest, and pressed it against the skin above her dual hearts, feeling the exoskeleton banding pressing against her skin. "Seven of Nine, Annika Hansen," she said in a somewhat more formal tone, allowing herself to experience all of the guilt and remorse she felt over her actions. "I beg you to forgive me for the things I said, the way I treated you."

She would have gone on, but Seven levered herself up from where she had been lying and placed her lips over B'Elanna's. Their lips moved against one another for a long moment until Seven pulled back, "Do not beg B'Elanna. I forgive you." she said gently.