I'll just have to be shinier and lure people back in to review naming no names (tulzdavampslayer...)

Its going to get a whole lot more amusing.

Chapter 2: Truth or Dare

"Now Inara she's a woman you could have fun with,"

Simon tosses back the sake with a grimace and tries to drown out Jayne's words. He dreads the moment when Jayne moves onto Kaylee. Maybe trying to get Jayne drunk wasn't turning out to be such a good plan.

"Jayne I said shut it…" Mal growls irritably downing another shot. "We ain't talking about this."

"Now doc, what is it Kaylee does that makes you squeal so loud?" Jayne slurs turning to Simon.

Wash laughs. "Does Kaylee really make you squeal?"

Simon glares at them all, then checks his watch. "Come on. We've got somewhere to be."

Jayne looks up from his glass, confused. "We have?"

Zoë stares at the remains of the enormous meal they have just consumed and sighs contentedly.

"Anyone else too full to move?"

Inara grins. "Yet the night is young Zoë."

Kaylee leans forward and pours herself another glass of non-engine fermented wine. "I suggest we play a game. Truth or dare!"

Inara raises an eyebrow. "Well I think you had better go first then. Truth or dare?"

"Err truth."

Inara, River and Zoë put their heads together and whisper for a moment.

Inara finally speaks, a wicked grin on her face. "How do you make Simon squeal?"

River claps her hands over her mouth to stifle the laugh, the silver plastic tiara at an odd angle on her head. All of them were wearing the tiaras.

Kaylee flushes pinkly. "I can't tell you that!"

"Come on or you have to do a dare!" River calls, unable to stifle the giggle anymore.

"Hisstomachisveryticklish" she says looking at the table.

The others burst into laughter.

"River?" Kaylee asks.

"Dare," River says with a grin.

"Dare you to kiss the first man who walks through that door." Kaylee says it before the others can take a breath.

"Alright," River stands and heads for the door.

Within moments a man enters and River shocks him by setting a solid kiss on his lips and walking away without a word. They all collapse in giggles.

Inara chooses truth and revealed that she once, a very long time ago, thought that blonde hair was a good look for her.

Zoë also chooses truth and when asked if she ever fell even a little bit in love with their captain goes pink. She looks at Inara.

"I…well…I was young…we…break in battle…sake…I got over it pretty quick."

Kaylee's eyes go huge. "Does Wash know?"

"Nothing to know. One drunken conversation Kaylee."

"We been together for a long time before you came along, Wash. And she's a damn fine-looking woman."

"You ever…you know…get an itch you need to scratch?"

Zoë looks sideways at the sarge from over the rim of her tin mug filled to the brim with sake. "What?"

"You know…"

"No…" The sarge actually doesn't look bad when you think about it. He hasn't been in charge of her long. She knows what itch he means though. Its just fun trying to get him to say it. Zoë wonders about that itch, does she need scratching?

"Just…never mind." Mal swigs his sake and pulls a face.

He is covered from head to toe in a mixture of camouflage paint and dirt. Zoë knows she can't look much better. She nudges him with her hip. "You know, some people find the idea of a man in uniform attractive…"

Mal laughs. "They don't know the half of it," he slurs. "What about my warrior woman…" he trails off, staring at her, his breath catching slightly.

Their lips meet quicker than expected. Mal's mouth tastes of sake, and his skin smells of gunpowder and mud. They break away suddenly to the screaming of a siren. They exchange a look that says they will never speak of this again.

"If it isn't Malcolm Reynolds."

The high-heeled foot hits the wall in front of Mal so that a length of naked leg blocks his way.

"I knew those rumours of your death were exaggerated."

Mal looks up at the woman from beneath his hat as Jayne runs into the back of him. Wash and Simon stop too and watch the exchange with interest.

"YoSaffBridge," he sighs. "Whoring your way through the core now?"

She smiles languidly and lowers her leg. "I know marriage is hard Mal, but faking your own death? We can work things out…" she purrs.

Mal stares at her open-mouthed for a moment. "You are tweaked in the brainpan woman!"

She laughs lightly and tickles him under the chin patronisingly. The years, and probably a life of luxury, have been kind to her and she looks little different to when he last saw her.

"You are such an easy mark Mal. I'm doing well since your 'death'…"

"Last time I heard about you Inara was locking you in a trash bin…"

"And last time I saw you, you were stark naked in the desert," she shoots back. "I got out of that one." She bats her eyelashes at him. "I always get out of things. Anyways I like the Core." Saffron flashes a ring worth several thousand platinum at them. "I'm doing well here."

"Yes another wealthy husband I'll bet."

She reaches out and caresses his cheek, his scar. "I even cried when I heard you were dead…"

"Yeah big fat crocodile tears I'm sure," Mal cuts her off, folding his arms and pulling back.

"You can't rile me Reynolds," she smiles sweetly as she turns to leave. "Be seeing you."

"Not if I can help it."

"By the way," she shoots over her shoulder as she departs. "Nice hat."

Kaylee leans back and takes another gulp of wine from the glass in her hand and surveys the dance floor before her, from her vantage point on top of the piano. The pianist is a young man called Sam Wallace with a dashing smile and quick wit who has been entertaining her.

"Play it again Sam," she grins at him as he strikes up another jaunty dance.

He winks up at her. "Yes Miss Kaylee."

Zoë sits on a high stool next to the piano, and wonders where Wash is right now. She hopes Mal and Jayne don't get him into trouble. She wonders why Wash and her don't dance so much anymore, maybe because little Mal was always there. At this wedding I'm going to dance and be damned with if the Captain is surprised. Sometimes I do want to be a woman! She was sure Wash never forgot it; maybe it was time to remind the others.

Inara is whirling round the dance floor in the arms of a series of men, who all want to dance with the most dazzling woman in the room. She has lost her tiara and her hair has come down from the elaborate up do it was in but she doesn't care. She's having fun.

River too dances past laughing loudly, obviously pretty tipsy. I'm getting married! I have my man, I have my friends, and I have Serenity she thinks. What else do I need?

A man walks up to Kaylee and offers her his hand. "Why is a pretty thing like you sitting by and watching?"

His accent is like Simon's, all cultured and well mannered. Makes her go all gooey inside. She wonders what Simon is doing now. Would he approve of her dancing with another man? Probably not, but what he doesn't know…Kaylee grins and takes the man's hand. Just one dance.