Author's note: So by the way I had to rewrite one of the scenes because I thought Santos had two sons… now I feel like a tool. Seriously, never remembered seeing or hearing about the little girl. Oh well. So here's the final chapter, its an emotional rollercoaster… Hopefully you'll forgive Donna and her transgressions. Just stick with it… its worth it. I think the ending fits the entire story, even though the last chapter as darker than the others. Remember how the mood and tones flipped in the last chapter… its going to flip back.

Jackson and Jefferson have my two favorite lines the chapter, in case anyone care. Oh and there is a slight reference to Spitzthecat's Joshua Monologues, if you've read it which you should… its wonderful… I'll say one word to you… coffee table.

There's one last chapter after this one… it's a timeline breaking down the key events of the story and takes it two years into the future. So I'll say my "thank yous" in that chapter. (HA HA forcing people to read it to see if they'll be one of the people I thank. I am pure evil.)

Three paragraphs for an author's note: gee not to pretentious, huh. Thanks for all the feedback. Love ya guys.

Donna's POV

His fingers circle my back, making me shiver just slightly, the cold air contrasting the warmth of his touch. My head rests on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. The sunlight starts to fill the room and suddenly I'm reminded about that scene in Romeo and Juliet when the title characters are arguing over the bird singing outside, if it's the lark or the nightingale. It's a charming scene; now I fully understand it. Unfortunately, the bird calling outside our window is a seagull, not nearly as romantic.

Ok Donna, its time to be strong. Tell him the truth. Say: Josh you're the best thing that's happened to me in… well, ever. Maybe if our timing was different. Maybe if we wait a little longer, when the public forgets, when a new scandal rocks the foundations of our government, then we can be together. Its just not worth the risk, I don't want to hurt you any more than I have. I could crush your career. I would ruin Santos' chance to run for president. Josh, you're just climbing your way back up to the top, and I don't want to be the reason you fall down. A part of me will always have feelings for you and I pray for the day when we could be more… You have given me bliss and happiness I've never felt before. Please, let's cut the ties, cleanly, so maybe we'll have a chance later.

His fingers still work their magic up and down my back and I fight back the tears that have been creeping up. He moves his head just slightly and kisses my forehead. "So I was wondering… where do you want to go for dinner tonight?"

What? "What?"

"Well, I figure we'll debark in about an hour, I'll fly back to DC and be back at my house by 3:00 at the very latest. I'll have to clean the whole damn place because if what Sam said was true about having sex on every surface of my house, I sure as hell don't want you in there unless it's clean."

He's rambling because he's nervous. He wants us to continue to see each other. He's willing to risk it. Or maybe he hasn't thought about it yet. Oh god!

"There's a great Chinese place around the corner. It's got the best beef and broccoli."

No, don't make me do this. Please Josh, don't.

He smiles brightly at me; his cursed dimples making me want to cry. "Josh we can't."

"Why not? You don't like Chinese food?"

Be strong, Donna he's forcing you to do this. My voice is firm, "No Josh, we can't do this because it isn't going to work."

He blinks at me, not believing my words. I pull myself up off of him and sit up, creating the physical space, wanting to create the needed emotional space.

"Why not, Donna? Why won't it work?" God he's so naïve.

I close my eyes, preparing myself for the venom that will spew from my mouth, "Because, you're bad for my career. I really can't risk that right now."

He recoils, eyes wide. My chest clenching in, my stomach is churning.

"What?" Every letter of the word is laced with his pain. My betrayal.

I do my best Amy Gardner impression, cold ruthless. Worse of all, I laugh, "Josh, please you're political poison." He gets out of bed, throwing the covers off, nearly hitting me in the face.

"Donna, what the hell? Why are you being like this"?

"Because you need to hear the truth, it was never going to last anyway." I roll my eyes at him, like he's the fool. His brown eyes are bloodshot; he didn't sleep last night and I'm the reason. My voice is light and playful, "We had fun, and you should call me the next time you want to have 'fun'." That's right, Donna, make him think it was just for the sex, no emotions. Don't let him think for one second that you really have feelings for him. Cut open his heart with a Samurai Sword, clean and deadly.

"You just wanted to have 'fun' with me?"

"Yeah, it was about time I got back on the horse." Time for the deathblow. "You know so I can find a real man to settle down with." He pulls on his pants and starts to head out the door. "Josh, don't forget the necklace." I point to it, salt for his wound, "It's not really my style anyway." He pulls on his shirt as he stands at the door. His glare cuts through to my soul and I shatter inside, I've hurt it far worse than I needed to.

"You know what, Donna? You're a real fucking heartless bitch." He slams the door behind him. The sound echoes in my ear and rattles my heart. I pull on my shirt and pants automatically.

I hurt Josh.

I sit on the edge of the bed, its still warm from his body.

I ripped his heart out and yet it feels like my own.

I put my hands on my face.

He hates me.

There's a knock at the door. Josh? I'm sorry I didn't mean it. Please let me explain!

Jackson opens the door. "Donna, I saw Josh leave, you ok?" He stands in the doorway.

When I don't say anything he comes closer. "Donna?" He repeats my name. Everyone has different way of saying my name, its five letters and it sounds different coming from everyone's lips. Jackson is always the same, concerned and soft, even when he's mad at me. Josh had lots of different ways to say my name and each one gave me a different physical reaction. It's the way he last said my name that makes me want to vomit. But instead, I weep.

Jackson wraps his arms around me as I cry into his scarred chest. "I know. It's not fair." He whispers.

I look up at him for a second, "Aren't you going to tell me 'I told you so? I told you this was going to happened?'"

He smiles at me, "Now Donna, how's that going to make you feel better?" He continues to rock me back and forth. CJ's entered the room and started packing up my stuff.

Josh's POV

UN- FUCKING-BELIEVABLE!

I slam the door and push past Toby, who calls out my name. People, noises, surround me and then fade back into nothingness; my own self-loathing and frustrations blind me. Once again Donna's put me on Autopilot; my body seems to know what its doing while my brain can only focus on my emotions.

Its not that she rejected me or ripped my heart out and crushed it, it's that she lied to me.

Damn door. Red light. Red light. Red light. Red light.

"GOD FUCKING DAMNIT!" I yank on the door handle.

"Josh?" I spin around at whiplash speed. Sam takes my keycard and opens my door.

A towel snake greets me on my bed. I pull my luggage out of the closet, threw it on the bed and chuck the snake across the room. My hands dig into my pockets pulling her necklace out and throwing it on the bed. Deep breath Josh, calm down, Sam's watching, judging me.

I smell like her. I can still taste her on my lips.

"I'm going to take a shower." I point to the bathroom.

"Don't be too long. The Captain wants us off of the ship before he allows the other passengers to debark. I'll start packing up your stuff."

Let me tell you what I love about Sam, he doesn't ask the obvious questions. No "what happened?" No "Where's Donna?" Sam shows his concern by packing my shit and not speaking.

Hot water crashes against me. I feel the need to scrub until my skin is raw. I would too, but I'm under a time crunch.

By the time I'm done, Sam's got everything packet, except Donna's necklace. That's on top of my suitcase. It amazes me how something that once was the center of my joy becomes object of my disgust.

My heart clenches, breathing become strained, and my stomach churns as I jam it into my pocket.

Sam knocks and opens the door. "You ready?"

I stuff the necklace in my pocket and head out the door. The hallway's empty except for another presence. "What are you doing here, Simon?"

He studies me; "I'm in charge of making sure you debark safely." The three of us walk in silence, leave the ship and enter the terminal. It's the sun that's so bright, that's why I need my sunglasses. No other reason. One limo, one suburban, both black, are at the entrance. My heart sinks as a flash of blonde hair closes the door.

Donna.

Is she hurting as much as I am?

Hope so.

The SUV pulls away and turns around the corner.

Squealing, yelping voices gets my attention, "Uncle Josh!"

The soul crushing depression is released for a second as two young versions of Matt Santos come storming across the road. My arms embrace five year old Miranda, (I'll be honest, she's my favorite) hold them as if they are my one last chance for joy. A new feeling consumes me, regret, I'll never have this a family. She start to squirm under my touch.

"Uncle Josh, we got something for you." Peter the older of the two, he's eight, reveals a Mickey Mouse hat with my name on it from behind his back.

Big smiles, lots of teeth, sound as happy as I can, "Wow guys! This is great. Do you think I should wear it at the office?" They cover their mouths and giggle.

Helen kisses me on the cheek, "Gee Josh, you didn't get much of a tan, did you spend the entire time inside?" She wiggles her eyebrows suggestively. My back stiffens and I'm sure Sam gives the "Don't answer any follow up questions" look.

"Come on, Josh, let's go back to the car." Matt suggests before the boys start gabbing about their trip.

Toby's POV

Donna's crying. The heaving sobs have stopped, now it's sniffling and whimpering. The thing is, over the past two years I never saw her cry once. Not the morning after, not when the press called her a liar, not when the rock hit her forehead, never. But today she wept.

I carry her bags to the car, Jefferson helps her in, Jackson delivers the message I really didn't want to hear.

"Eagle wants to speak with you."

I sigh and meet my fate. The driver opens the limo and before I get my head through the door, soon to be President Bartlet starts in on me, "Toby, what the hell happened?"

I sit down and the door closes, before I can open my mouth Leo starts up, "I thought you had this all under control."

Finally I'm able to defend myself, "Everything was going fine and then this guy showed up…"

The Vice President waves his hand to stop me, making a disgusted face, "I know all of that. I read the Secret Service report…I mean what happened this morning."

Two more men join us before the limo lurches forward, "I'm not sure, but its Donna, she probably assumed it wasn't worth the scandal." I look out the window, hoping to buy some time.

Leo huffs.

My loyalty to Donna starts to seep in, "you only have two years in the Oval office, and she didn't want it damaged with chaos and rumors. Maybe she thinks she doesn't deserve happiness. Maybe it's because a relationship is unknown and she's scared. But most likely it's because she doesn't want to ruin Josh's career, effect the election, and ruin Santos' chances to be President."

Leo rubs his face, "Do you have any proof?" Yeah, I have proof; I know what he's looking for. From my brief case I pull out the professional pictures Josh and Donna took last night, in all the chaos they forgot to pick them up. I reach across the car and hand them to my bosses. For a moment their quiet, in awe of the pictures, as I pull out my digital camera and cue it up to the picture I took on the beach.

"What do you think we should do, Toby?"

"I don't know, sir. Knowing Donna, knowing Josh, it's hard to tell. I'm not the one who has to make the final call."

The older men look at each other not pleased with my cop-out at all. I shrug, "Still, it's nice to see her smile again."

The Vice President turned to the man on my left, "Jefferson, what do you think?"

Jefferson plays with his fingers and wiggles his toes for a second; his voice is clear and steady like he's been rehearsing this all morning. "Sir, Donna would walk on the road to Hell bare foot over glass if she thought it would help you. I don't think she can handle another scandal alone, the nights were the hardest for her, and each of us had someone to hold us in the dark. All of us except Donna. Maybe she wants to shield herself from that. And as much as I think Donna needs to feel loved and be loved, I think Josh needs it just as much."

The vice President nods, "Well spoken."

"Really, I thought it sounded kind of gay." Jefferson laughed.

"That, too." Leo muttered under his breath.

Jed Bartlet's stare transfixed on Jackson, "Do you think he's good enough for her?"

Jackson presses his hand to his chest, "Sir, I consider Donna Moss to be like a daughter, I don't think any man's good enough for her."

The Vice President smiles, "spoken like a true father."

Jackson leans in slightly, "But if you're asking me if I think Josh Lyman is a good man," he pauses and smiles, "I would have to say yes."

He turns to his oldest friend, "Leo, what's you opinion. Can we handle another scandal?"

"Well, it will look like we set this up from the beginning, like it was all a big coup to get Hoynes out of the office. His supporters aren't going to like it. All five of them. You will need to be concerned with public opinion shifting. Right now your approval rating is at a 60 without you stepping foot into the office. When this hits the press, you will take a hit." Leo shrugs for a second, "I guess it's up to you, if you think it's worth it."

Here it is, the moment of truth.

He touches the pictures gently and looks into the screen of the camera. He furrows her brow for a second, "Sam has a tattoo?"

Oh come on! I rub my forehead, "it's a long story sir…"

The vice President sighs and pulls out his cell phone, "Hey Abby, do you know why you married me?" An impish smile crosses his face, "Because I'm a Magic Man. We're going to plan B."

Instantly the tension is released from the limo as Leo dials his phone, "Margaret, we're moving to plan B. We need to get the Santos' plane tickets refunded…."

Jackson talks into his head piece, "Inform security we're moving ahead to plan B."

My phone call is the most important, "Matt, plan B."

Donna's POV

The SUV's dark, even more so with my sunglasses. Maybe it's because I'm consumed with my own self loathing, but it takes a second to register there are other people in the SUV.

"Did you have a nice trip, Donna?" Abby's voice rings out.

"Oh, Dr. Bartlet, what are you doing here?" She smiles and informs me she and the VP were down talking with the Governor of Florida and decided to pick us up. I nod accepting the answer. I twist around to get a full view of the women behind me to see another blonde woman sitting next to the soon-to-be First Lady.

"Ainsley?"

She smiles brightly, "Hey CJ, Donna, did you have fun?"

I blink a few times, although it goes unseen behind my glasses. Ainsley came down to DC to go house hunting and to set up her office and decided to tag along anyway.

Have you noticed I didn't answer the question yet? I'm a master at misdirection. I listen to CJ recap out trip leaving out all details about Josh. My heart physically hurts to think about him. How much I must have hurt him, how much I wanted to protect him. Mostly what's gnawing at me is the idea we could have been wonderful together, we could have had a future. I felt it more so with him than Kevin, or Cliff. Josh and I felt "right", we fit.

And I gave him up.

At least I won't see him for a while, let the wounds heal.

"Hey Donna, will you call my florist and bitch slap her around for me? She keeps putting baby's breath in the centerpieces." Ainsley puts her hand on my shoulder.

Oh god, the wedding! He's the Best Man. Shit!

"Hey Ains, do I have to go to the wedding?"

She blinks at me, "But Donna you're the Maid of Honor, you have to be there."

There's an emotional bubble at the bottom of my stomach slowly making its way up my throat, scratching at it, crawling at it, trying to break free to my mouth. The only way to stop the pain is to cry. I can fight it.

Abby's phone rings, she answers it, agrees and hangs up. "I love my husband."

A husband, one more thing in life that will never be mine.

The bubble bursts and the tears start back up.

Josh's POV

Miranda sitting between Sam and I. She being rather quiet studying me with her big brown eyes. Children don't think before they speak, rather endearing most of the time.

"Uncle Josh, Mommy says you're gay."

Sam is trying to hide his laughter. Matt would have yelled at Helen and his daughter but his cell phone interrupted him. Helen slaps her head.

The child looks around trying to understand everyone's reactions. Dismisses them as being "grown ups" and continues her logic, "Daddy says that 'gay means happy'." Her chubby fingers touch my cheek. "But you don't look very happy to me. Are you ok?"

I'm never going to be a father. I'll always be someone's Uncle Josh, but never Dad. Why does it hurt so much? Six months ago a family was the farthest thing from my mind.

Her big brown eyes demand an answer, "You know when you have a really fun time on vacation. Everything is so new and different. And you don't want to go home. When its time to go home you're a little sad. That's kinda what I'm feeling now."

She scrunches up her nose to think it over, "I understand," then starts telling Sam all about the Dumbo ride. I ask Helen for the Sports section of the newspaper.

Mostly if I put a newspaper in front of my face I don't have to talk to anyone.

I hate Donna.

That's right, say it again. I hate her. Her necklace is burning a hole in my pocket as I rub my fingers over it.

Surrounding me is the friendly chatter of children, a husband and wife. Aside from any pangs of self doubt and anger I feel because her, or myself, the scene is really quite charming. I like that I get to see them before the White House gets its grip on them, forcing them to be picture perfect…

OH MY GOD!

Donna's POV

CJ explains my erratic sobbing to the other women.

I admit to them and myself the truth, "I just wasn't expecting it to hurt this much."

Why is it that everyone else gets what they want, but me? Huh? What am I doing wrong? CJ's getting married before me. CJ! Ainsley though Sam was gay the first time she met him. Come on! Nothing about this is fair.

"Why do you think it hurts Donna?" Ainsley asks rubbing my back.

"I don't know." Of course I do. It's the idea of having something I wanted for so long, just to lose it.

We drive for a while as the women try to console me. Ainsley's getting antsy, her fingers start tapping her leg.

She sighs deeply, letting all the air out of her body. "I did something stupid."

I wipe my eyes, "What is it?" Ainsley's normally good for a laugh.

"Um, remember when I left Josh's place and you let me move in with you," My heart sinks when I hear her use his name. "Well Sam came over and, oh God this is awkward, but we broke you're coffee table."

I hiccup for a second, "My coffee table, but I bought it at Ikea. I built it myself, it was my first "you're a grown up now" purchase!"

Ainsley covers her head, "I know, I know! I felt horrible about it and with the crappy two years you've had I just didn't know how to tell you. Instead I did something else…"

Oh no! "What did you do?" I growl.

She shifts as the car slows down, "Well, Sam and I wanted to make it up to you and we sent you on a cruise." Doesn't wait around for a response and jumps out of the car.

Wait, what did she say?

Josh's POV

She didn't mean it. She wasn't doing it for her career. She broke up with me to protect mine.

I've got to get her back.

Matt and Sam start a conversation while Helen opens a juice box. "So did you find a place to live yet?"

"Nope, Ains is looking in DC for a place, we start work on Tuesday."

I'll call Amber and get Donna's address.

"Sam, your friend is a curious man. He's got a hockey puck in his office and yet he doesn't like hockey."

"Yeah he is."

I'll stand out side of her apartment screaming her name and throwing things at her window.

Sam sighs, "worst of all he thinks I'm buying him a new kitchen table..."

I can stand there until the opens the door…

"…this is ridiculous since I paid for his cruise."

Or until the cops come… wait what did Sam say?

The car stops and Sam jumps out. I pull the newspaper away from my face. It takes a second to register what I'm seeing. One limo, one SUV, Ainsley running towards the minivan we're in. Sam running towards her. Oh, and Air Force One. My body seems to be moving on its own will as I get out of the car and walk forward.

Ainsley jumps into Sam's arms in the middle of the tarmac, "Three days is WAY too long to be away from you."

He kisses her and lifts her off the ground. "I totally agree."

The SUV's door is flung open, "OH MY GOD! You broke my coffee table by having sex on it, didn't you? How is that EVEN possible?" Donna screams across the open space.

Donna. Her face is red and blotchy. She was crying. I made her cry.

Matt gets out of the car and starts to head over to Sam and Ainsley, laughing, "They really aren't as sturdy as you would think. The trick is to use wood glue."

Something about the way he says it makes me think he's broken more than one coffee table during sex.

He's going to be a nightmare to get into the Oval office, isn't he?

Donna looks in the direction of the new voice. Her jaw drops slightly.

Her leg takes a half a step back. Then she sees me.

My eyes avert to the ground, it hurts to look at her right now.

Ainsley's voice rings out, "Ok, I know you're confused or pissed or something. But Josh and Donna, you two make sense together. It was SO obvious you two had feelings for each other."

Sam supports her, in his arms and emotionally, "Josh, when I asked you about the Inaugural Ball you said, 'the best part was dancing with Donna Moss.'"

"Donna your vile contempt for Amy Gardner and Mandy Hamilton, I believed you called them 'shrill bitches that Hell spit out.'" Interesting and accurate.

Sam calls back to me, "you kept talking about Trash Can Basketball..."

Ainsley calls to Donna, "Cliff broke up with you because you call out…"

"AINSLEY!" Donna screeches.

The southern blonde, shrugs, "I'm just saying." Even more interesting…

Sam looks over at me, "You spent six years staring at her phone number."

Ainsley whispers, "You didn't keep Sam's number in your wallet, you kept Josh's."

Sam smiles, "The hockey puck was the dead give away."

"He's the reason you fought Hoynes." Ainsley's eyes plead with Donna.

Words finally leave my mouth, "so you set us up? Rather elaborate isn't it? Did you ever think of a blind date or something?"

Sam sighed loudly, "We TRIED! You were supposed to meet up at our Going Away/ Engagement Party, but you didn't come because the Mets were playing and you were afraid if you left your chair they would lose. News Flash they lost anyway."

Jefferson calls out to Donna, "You didn't go to the party because it was too much work to put on a bra."

Donna's eyes widen, just before she covers her face with her hands and mutters something to the effect of "Oh God."

For the most part my eyes have been focused between Sam, Ainsley and Donna. But now the camera of my eye pans out and I see all of the Secret Service Agents, CJ, Toby, Leo, Abby and the Vice President. I turn around to see Matt pulling luggage out of the minivan along with Helen and the kids. OK so maybe this isn't as private as I would have liked.

Ainsley breaks her embrace of Sam and treks over to Donna. "You're a wonderful, caring person, loyal to a fault. But mostly you're extremely predictable."

CJ laughs, "Welcome to Plan B. Honey, just get on the damn plane. We've got tons contingency plans we really don't want to use."

"In Plan F, I get to wear a mask!" Jefferson states rather proudly.

"But…" Donna tries the words.

Now its Helen's turn, she walks over to Donna and pats her on the shoulder, "Sweetie, if my husband loses the election, it's because he says something stupid like how easy it is to break coffee tables. It won't be because of who his campaign manager is sleeping with."

Wait! Helen knows we're going to run for office. Quick eye contact to Matt tells me he didn't know either. Helen seems unconcerned with revelation and keeps her attention on Donna as she curls her lips, "It's a Sisterhood, Donna. I'm going to need details."

Helen holds the hand of her youngest child, who looks up at her with awe, "Do we get to ride in the big plane?"

She smiles sweetly down at her, "If your Daddy doesn't blow it, we might be able to fly in at a whole lot in two years."

Miranda looks back at me and looks at the plane, "Uncle Josh looks a lot more gay now."

"Yes, he does." Helen is desperately trying to keep a straight face. Of course the tarmac is filled with laughter as a new level of humiliation takes over my body.

One by one people start to board to the plane, while Donna and I stand in our designated spots.

"Jefferson, what are you doing?" Jackson calls out.

"I'm securing the area from snipers." He calls back as he pulls out his gun and points it into the air.

"Get your ass on the plane."

Jefferson deflates and starts to whine, "You want me to leave? But I'm so emotionally invested!"

Jackson points to the plane, "If you hurry we can get a window seat!" The younger agent sprints past the crowd and nearly knocks over Toby in the process.

As if being pulled by a magnetic force, Donna starts to walk towards me. My legs are moving by their own will. We meet half way.

Butterflies on crack are dancing in my stomach, it's worse than when I was in high school. Watching her, I can tell she doesn't know what to do or how to react.

I blurt out, "I'm not gay."

She pulls her sunglasses off, mostly so I can see her blinking at me like I'm an idiot. "I know. We had sex, remember?"

I find myself smiling despite myself. "I know. It's just I didn't want you thinking…there was that rumor that Sam and I…" I rub the back of my head and puff out my cheeks.

She looks at my shoes in desperation, "If I had known you were going to be at the party, I would have put on a bra."

"I don't see why, I've seen them with a bra and without…I like them without." I try to make her laugh. It's a failed attempt.

She kicks at one of the pebbles on the ground, staring at my chest as her eyes start to fill, "Josh, I didn't mean anything I said…"

"I know."

But she continues like she didn't hear me, "I didn't want to be the reason your career failed, I couldn't do that to you… its just I was scared and I'm terrible at relationships and I panicked."

My fingers linger in the air for a second before I push her hair back behind her shoulder, finally resting my hand on the back of her neck. Softly I whisper, "No, it's ok. I understand. I'm sorry too. I'm sorry for saying and thinking terrible things about you. I'm sorry it took me an hour to figure out why you did it."

She nods a little, "It's been a really shitty hour."

A small huff of laughter escapes my mouth. "Yeah."

For a moment, I'm content just touching her neck, watching the tension in the space between our bodies fade away. I look up to the plane where I see faces plastered in the windows. Her arms painfully slowly wrap around my waist as she looks into my eyes, "I guess there's only one thing to ask you… where do you want to go for dinner tonight?"

So I know I said the kiss on the beach was the best kiss of my life, but I was wrong. I know, the Great Josh Lyman wrong, its shocking really. As our lips gently touch on the tarmac, I can hear the cheers from our friends and family on the plane. This is the best kiss of my life, the kiss of something lost and returned. The truth is I've loved her for a long time and now I'm able to show it.

We hold each other for a moment, privately, before heading onto to the plane where we'll have to deal with people.

I'm not going to say Donna and I won't have our trials and hurdles we'll have to face. I'm sure the public reaction won't be as supportive as we would like. I guess I'm going to have to take it one day at a time.

I'll wait a week before proposing to Donna again. One things for sure, now that I've got her I'm not letting her go.