A Deep Fried Experience
Summary: What happens when seven Hogwarts students get dumped in an American fast food place? Why don't we peek into their 'Deep Fried Experience'! R&R
Disclaimer: The following characters:
Haley/Bee; Madison/Mad
Heather/blond (She is very smart, however. My smartest buddy. ;)); Courtney/Fat Cow;
Cathy/Anorexic Cow; Abby/Stupid;
Catie/Fat Cow Numero II; Cody/ er… nothing really… no codename for him. Ha ha!
Belong to me (or at least my horrifically boring town). The rest, well-known characters sadly are entitled underneath J.K. Rowling's property.
Notes: Alright, so I haven't updated as much as I said I would. As I put in the previous chapter, this story took me three days to write. I've been working on my other fan fiction, Learning to Love Again (Which you should check out by the way; way better than this junk ;) ) for hours on end and organizing other fan fiction stories soon to come up. I apologise for the wait.
Notes II: If you value your knowledge and dignity, do not read further. Article beneath may cause giddiness, stupidity, and loss of fact. Possible signs of faulty after reading include excessive giggling, shortfall of memory, or itchy feet. If either of these symptoms show up, see a doctor immediately. Unless you want to become an idiotic zombie under the control of senseless humour, please choose a different story to entertain yourself with.
Note III: ROFL!
--
Part Two: American Idiots
"I'll have three quarter-pounders, a double cheeseburger, two orders of fries, four sundaes, an apple pie-"
'Talk about healthy." the blonde said.
"The redhead grinned, "And a salad!"
"You can't eat all that! You'll explode!" the brunette burst out.
"Oh, don't worry, this is your order, Bee."
"WHAT? I don't think so, Mad!"
The two quarrelled as the other placed an order for all three of them.
"Hey Gin. What's up?"
"Hey, Hermione."
"How's it going?"
"Oh. I'm good, you?"
"I meant the job."
"Oh, erm. I'm good, you?" She smiled.
"Pretty Good. Giving lessons to Ron and Neville and-Malfoy, no!"
"What?" said Draco, innocently.
Hermione muttered so the surrounding couldn't hear, "You can't do magic!"
"They won't shut up!' Malfoy cried. Four new girls were giggling and staring in his direction. Hermione and Draco could hear them say;
"I'm so fat!"
"No you aren't, Catie!"
"Abby, yes I am."
"No." said Bee, "You all are."
The redhead choked on her soda and emerged laughing.
"Just… just one simple silencing charm!" Malfoy's eyes gleamed hopefully.
"No." Hermione said, firmly.
Malfoy glared, "Fine…" he rolled his eyes as a woman with four kids entered. They all clung to her legs; it was a miracle she could walk.
"Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy!" sang the kids. Malfoy's nose cringed.
"No." Hermione repeated.
He seemed to struggle for a moment then said, through clenched teeth, "Welcome to McDonalds. Can I take-- your order?"
Hermione grinned, "You might just get a pay raise!"
She left towards the play place to make sure Luna wasn't lost in the pipes.
"Can- can I have a chicken sandwich-"
One of the kids lifted his small arms. "Up!" he demanded.
"Chicken sandwich, a coke, a-" she picked up the three year old.
"I want a chicken happy meal!" the boy demanded.
"Happy Meal, Happy Meal, Happy Meal!" The rest chorused.
"Four chicken happy-"
"I wanna cheeseburger!"
"Cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!"
"One chicken sandwich, two chicken meals, two hamburger meals, a coke, an ice cream sun-" the woman tried quickly, but-
"ICE CREAM!"
"Five ice creams-"
"Drink?" Malfoy asked in a dull tone.
"Vodka?" the woman tried.
"For the kids." Draco said, nose wrinkled.
"Oh, sprite."
"SPRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITE!" the kids screeched, causing people to stare.
"Is that all, ma'am?" Draco's mouth struggled through the last word.
"Yes!" she shouted.
"31.82."
The woman pulled out a purse and handed over money as the kids sped faster than Snitches toward the play place.
"Have a good day!" Grinned Draco. As she left he muttered, "Love good's going to have fun."
"Doing okay?" Hermione asked.
"I rock at this money thing!" Ron said happily, "Why didn't I take muggle studies?"
"It couldn't have been because 'Muggles are boring'" Hermione imitated Ron, "Could it?" She smirked.
"That was a long time ago!" Ron said defiantly.
"Same time you could have signed up with me." said Hermione.
Ron stuck out his tongue at her retreating back and was surprised when she looked back at him. He grinned and turned around.
"How're you two doing?"
"Hermione, are the fries ready yet?" Neville said.
"Neville, they're still pale." Hermione said dully. She turned to Harry then turned back, "Neville!"
"What? What'd I do?"
"It's what you didn't do! The fryer isn't even on!" she flipped a switch.
"That explains it." scoffed Harry.
"Doing okay, then?"
"Are you kidding?" Harry twirled around bottles of ketchup and mustard like a cowboy would his gun, "I was made for fast food! Wait a second.." he paused.
"Don't hurt yourself, Harry." Hermione laughed then went to check on Draco again, just in case.
"What's that?" an old man practically yelled at Draco.
"4.73." Draco said.
"Huh?"
"4.73!" he said louder.
"Eh?" the man cupped his ear.
"4.73!" yelled Draco, annoyed.
"Malfoy!" Hermione scolded, "I'm going to have to dock your pay!"
"Stupid fast food." grumbled Malfoy.
"Ah," said the old man, handing over the money.
Malfoy glared as the man left, then looked down at the money, "Wait!" He called, "You gave me-" he stopped, voice dropping, "ooh, extra!"
He looked around quickly then pocketed twenty bucks.
"What're you yelling about?" demanded Hermione.
"Nothing," Draco said quickly. Too quickly. Hermione examined him for a second then left to find Ginny.
Just then about a dozen girls came in.
"POTTER!"
"What?"
"Trade me!" Draco begged. "Not more girls!"
Harry looked over Draco's shoulder, "Erm.. Okay." he shrugged.
Draco danced in triumph, then ran to the back. Music sounded from a radio in the back and Neville sand along with Eminem. "-spittin' on your onion rings!-"
"I didn't do it!" Draco said frantically.
"Huh?" said Neville.
"I didn't spit on the fries when your back was turned!" he started to sweat.
"Err…."
"Eww!" one kid said from the front, "Mom! There's sticky stuff in my fries!"
"What?" said the mom, eyed widening.
"There's-"
"That's not sticky stuff, that's-"
"Luna!"
"What?" Luna looked up. She had been telling eight kids about the Crumple Horned Snorkack. The Quibbler was spread out on her lap.
"Luna! They're-they're-" Hermione snatched up the magazine, "M-U-"
"I know that. But father says everyone should know about the Crumple Horned Snorkack." Luna said simply. Hermione blinked.
"Don't! You could get into trouble for-"
"Hermione!" Ron yelled. Hermione leapt up and sped off. Luna shrugged and continued.
"What?" Hermione panted, skidding to a halt next to him.
"Harry and Malfoy switched!" he stomped his foot and pointed to Malfoy who was singing along with Green Day and Neville into a ketchup bottle.
"Hermione!" Ginny burst out, dragging Harry by the ear towards them. "WHY did you let them switch?"
"Oh, ow, ow!" Harry whined.
"I didn't-"
"Those girls have been fawning over him for the past 10 minutes!"
"But, I-"
"Can I get another 'Amen'?" Draco sang.
"Amen!" Neville sang back.
"Shut up!" Ginny yelled.
"What's going on?" Luna drifted into the back.
"We-" Hermione tried.
"My ear's getting ripped off!"
"They switched!"
"I'm trying to-"
"Um…."
"They switched!"
"Er…singing?"
"They switched!"
"What is going on here? People need to place orders, there's a huge line of cars…" the manager announced. "What's going on?"
"Sorry, sir."
"Right on it."
"Got to go."
"Crumple Horned Snorkack…"
"Welcome to McDonalds. Can I take your order?"
"I'll have you know I'll be taking pay from you, Miss Granger!"
"But, I-"
"She didn't do anything!" Ron, Neville, Ginny, and Harry said.
"Fine, then I'll be docking all of your pay!" The manager huffed off towards the counter. "I need a smoke…" And he disappeared outside.
"Man!" said Harry, stomping off toward the counter. He came back a minute later.
"Switch, Ferret Boy."
Draco rolled his eyes and left to the front where he was met with a surprise.
"Oh, hello." said Courtney, flashing him a smile, "Drah--co" She squinted at his nametag.
Malfoy looked at her.
"Uh, yeah. My name's Draco. Dra-co. Stupid Muggle." he muttered.
"Oh, sorry. My name's Courtney." she grinned again. Her teeth were yellow. (ROFL!)
"I know."
"You do!"
"It's only printed on your shirt a thousand times." Draco rolled his eyes, "So third grade." he grumbled. (Ha! Like he knows fashion!)
"Oh…right."
"Yeah. Are you done yet?"
"Come on, Draco. Wanna talk?"
"Err…"
"Bug off Courtney! You know he's mine!" said Cathy.
"You're too ugly!"
"I saw him first!" Catie piped up.
"Nu-uh!"
"So? You've got stupid Cody!"
"Draco is sooo much hotter than Cody!"
"Excuse me?" Abby said coming up to them.
"Cody!" exclaimed Courtney.
"Yeah. What'd you just say?" Cody was tall with messy brown hair and crooked front teeth.
"Um, nothing? I uh…"
"Hey, Cody. What's up?" Cathy said quickly.
"What were you guys just saying about me?" Cody asked suspiciously.
"Um, I um… uh…"
"She was just saying I was hotter than you." Draco said. Courtney paled, "Which, I'd say I have to agree." Draco smirked.
"You WHAT! You're MY girlfriend!" Cody accused.
"He is hotter!" Courtney accused.
"Oh no you didn't!" Cody said.
"Stupid American idiots." Draco muttered. He turned around and started eating a cookie.
"That's gonna go to your thighs, you know." Ginny said.
"Shut up!" Draco pouted, throwing the cookie at her.
Ginny rolled her eyes, "It's only fact." she pointed out.
Author's Note: Sorry I haven't updated in ages! I've been busy with schoolwork and reading and rating and all that other junk for other fan fictions. I took a bit of a break after finishing Learning to Love Again (Which you should read if you haven't. Not one of my better pieces, but pretty good in my book. Well, of course. I wrote it in my book. But that's free for you to decide, I suppose). If you're looking for another great fan fiction, you should check out Legolas Skies's Double Stuffed . It's a great read by one of my buds! ;) ;). Btu I'm off to the next chapter which may very well be up in a day or two. No promises; I'm slow at updating even if I have tons done. Don't ask me. shrugs Off the fan fiction! ;)