CHAPTER TWO

October 1778

It was the evening of Ben's birthday. He would be leaving the next morning to go enlist, and Felicity knew that she might never see him forever. The bright side was that Mr. Merriman and Penny would be coming home, for someone had to be running the store with the apprentice gone. Mrs. Merriman and Rose the cook had made a wonderful dinner for Ben's last night with the Merriman's. After four years with the Merriman's it would be strange not having him around. Now that Felicity had kissed Ben he held even more awe to her, this awe carried a strange excitement, and she found herself getting all giddy and jumpy whenever he was around. Now he was leaving. Ben was planning on going for a drink at the local tavern with some of his friends. Their hug that evening after supper would be their last. Felicity could feel Nan staring at her as they embraced for the last time. Felicity tried to hold back tears. She knew that Nan was on to something. The chit was nosy and onto everything. Out of the corner of her eye, Felicity could see Nan had a very staid look on her face. She probably disapproved of her thirteen-year-old sister's first crush, or perhaps she was jealous that Felicity was the "pretty" one.

Perhaps it was the ale from the tavern, or how vulnerable and small she felt in his embrace, or what war just did to people, but Ben found himself making a quick detour before leaving Williamsburg the next morning. He pushed open the door to Mr. Merriman's store. Marcus was out making deliveries, Mr. Merriman wasn't returning until later in the day, so he was alone with Felicity. Felicity was standing at the counter, writing up an order. She lit up as soon as she saw Ben.

"You've decided to stay!" She gasped. "You finally have some sense in you."

"No Lissie," Ben replied. "I just wanted to say goodbye to you again."

Why was he torturing her this way? Couldn't he see that she did not want him to leave? She had said her goodbye to Benjamin Davidson last night, She had ran to the stables since Nan was deliberately hanging around their bedchamber so she could weep in privacy. Her mother had eventually found her, and let her eldest daughter weep over her first crush. Then she had taken Felicity back to the house and gave her a piece of ginger cake. Felicity even had said that even on her deathbed, she could still eat a piece of ginger cake.

"Goodbye," Felicity said and went back to her writing. Ben stood there and stared at the small figure of a girl-almost-woman. He was sorry to leave, and miss out on her growing into a woman. He'd bet anything that she was going to be pretty, much prettier than her sister. He just remembered the fellows at the tavern the night before. His friend Henry had been very surprised that Ben wasn't leaving a girl.

"Don't you know that behind every great soldier, is a beautiful woman back at home, praying for them, willing them to come back home. My brother is out there, somewhere and I know tis the thought of coming back to his beautiful wife that keeps him going through God knows what."

"Felicity please," Ben said. He came towards her, and gently removed the quill from her hand. He lifted her chin, so they made eye contact. He imprinted her vivid green eyes in his mind.

"I need to ask you a favor. About a month ago you asked me the same favor," he said softly.

"Ben please," Felicity moaned pathetically.

"Kiss me Lissie," he whispered half excitedly, half nervously.

"Ben it's daytime. Tis not proper," Felicity began rambling. Gently taking her arm he stirred her to the counting room, and slammed the door shut.

"I want you to let me kiss you Felicity. I want a kiss so when I am away in the army, I can always think back to a woman's kiss. I want a kiss to comfort me when I am alone and cold, running through the woods."

"Benjamin Davidson you have lost your mind," Felicity snapped. "Let me go!" Ben did not let her go. He held onto her arms tightly.

"Lissie hush," he pleaded. "You do not want to send a young, Patriot, soldier off to war without a kiss. I love you Felicity, and your love is what is going to get me through this war. Please, I want to be able to dream of the lady I love back at home, when I am out there. To know that back in Williamsburg I have a girl waiting. I cannot force you to love me back, but I must have a kiss."

"Ben, I am no lady yet," Felicity began to stammer but Ben silenced her by pressing his lips to hers. Felicity did not pull away, she kissed back rather passionately. When the kiss was over, Ben held Felicity close and tenderly stroked her red ponytail. He loved that red hair.

"Thank you Lissie," he whispered. "Now I can go to the war a happy lad."

"Another thing on the list that I do for the cause," she said half teasingly, half bitterly, through tears.

"I have to go Lissie. Goodbye dear. I will be thinking of you everyday. Do nott forget to write, I want to hear how Penny fares." He said as he grabbed his hat. Felicity sunk down into the chair at the counting table, tears streaming down her cheeks. He then turned and quickly kissed her hand, and gave it a squeeze. "Goodbye Lissie dear, and remember that a Patriot solider up in the north loves you."

And with that he was gone. Felicity sat for a long time at the counting table, with tears streaming down her face. She knew customers were out in the main store, wondering why there was nobody there, but she was too upset to go tend to them. The truth was she did not want to kiss Ben, love Ben, or have Ben love her, only to have him leave, with the possibility of never coming back. She was certain the war would make him forget about her, and Williamsburg. He had put her on the spot, and she didn't know whether or not to be angry, excited, giddy, or embarrassed. Her knees were shaking as she stood up, and wiped her eyes.

"You are a fool Benjamin Davidson," she muttered to herself.