The Mysterious Dude Defenceby tenofswords665

Warrick: She claims her husband was in the garage painting, and just done fell over.

Catherine: The ever-popular DFO. Right up there with the Mysterious Dude Defence.

(Quote from episode 3.22: Play With Fire.)

Chapter 1 – Not Over Yet...

Disclaimer – You name it I don't own it.

Notes – This is a follow up from my previous story 'Who would try'. By now you'll already have read the prologue, so I won't go into too many details, but I would advise you to read 'Who would try' before this one, cause it's not gonna make much sense otherwise. Sure? Okay then, here we go...

Gilbert Grissom sat up with a groan, and against his better judgement, opened his eyes. As expected, the resultant input of visual information was enough to make him squeeze his eyelids shut again. What was not expected (or welcome) was the screaming pain in his head.

Grissom had experienced hangovers before, but they were mostly dull brainaches, or at worst a steady thudding in his skull. He had felt blissfully few real head-busters like this one. What the hell had he been drinking last night? A horrible idea occurred to him. He forced his eyelids open and threw the covers back.

Oh, thank God! The body snoring soundly next to him was definitely feminine. He leaned back to allow his head to sink onto the pillows at ju-ust the right velocity to transport him softly back into the world of dreams...

And stopped abruptly three inches from the pillow. His entire form froze rigidly in place, and his eyes snapped open for what his visual cortex told him was an entirely unnecessary third time. Reluctantly accessing his memory banks, his mind had just put a face to the body next to him.

And it wasn't Sara...

Greg Sanders sat on his favourite chair in the break room and flicked through the papers in his hands. He scowled as he finished reading them. This wasn't disastrous, but it wasn't exactly joyous news either. What were they going to do now? Warrick Brown half-walked, half-tiptoed his way into the break room, trying not to disturb the otherwise occupied Sanders.

"Forget it, Warrick. The coffee isn't there."

"Damn!"

Greg's Blue Hawaiian coffee had long become the Holy Grail of the crime lab. Every CSI dreamed longingly of finding Greg's secret stash, but he had, thus far, managed to keep it securely hidden.

"So what's the word?"

"Ecklie lawyered up."

"You've gotta be kidding me!"

"I know, I know. I was so sure he'd tell us who the old man was, or at least tell us what he did."

The 'Old Man' to whom Greg was referring was Conrad Ecklie's former contact outside the crime lab, a man who paid the erstwhile assistant director considerable sums of money to tamper with evidence in certain cases, and had thus far escaped positive identification.

"Isn't there any way to ID this guy from the photo. I mean, Archie's a genius with this kind of thing, maybe..."

"Greg, Archie has done absolutely everything in his power to ID the guy, but there's nothing. His face is obscured, there's no reflective surfaces...It's impossible."

"Great. So, any cases yet?"

Sara walked in, dark circles prominent under her eyes and an ice pack to her head. "Neither Grissom nor Catherine has checked in yet, so we're still waiting for assignments. And could you please try not to breathe so loudly?"

"Geez, Sara! What planet were you on last night?"

"Probably somewhere in the Budweiser galaxy. You were really hurling 'em back, y'know."

Sara looked slightly defensive. "Yeah, well, we all were. We had a lot to celebrate, with Ecklie getting busted and the shift getting back together..."

"Hey, hey, hey! Don't jinx it! That's not a sure thing just yet."

"Oh come on, guys. If Grissom gets the assistant director post, then he'll put us back together like that." She snapped her fingers, and the resultant echo of sound in her eardrums briefly made her wish her father had met a different woman.

Warrick relaxed. "Yeah, I guess. You're right about last night though. I haven't had a hangover like that since I joined CSI. I'm amazed I woke up alone."

"Same here" declared Greg, "only in my case the last time I had a hangover like that was at Stamford, and I'm not amazed I woke up alone. Depressed, but not amazed."

"You want a cuddle?"

"Fuck off, Nick."

For it was he, with a noted absence of dark circles or ice packs, who had just entered, and voiced the overly sarcastic query.

"Nick, you are looking way too healthy for someone who was chugging Jack Daniels last night."

"What can I say?" Nick beamed a smile that seemed to Warrick to be tailor-made to annoy people who were hung-over. "I guess I can just hold my drink a little better than the next guy."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah...since you're obviously more alert than the rest of us, any news?"

Nick's smile faded. "Let's, uh, let's hear about Ecklie first. Any developments?"

Greg was slightly puzzled at the change of subject, but answered. "Ecklie pounced on his right to shut the hell up and he's holding it. No luck there."

"Shit!" Nick's smile was now completely gone. Replacing it was an alarming mixture of frustration and apprehension.

"You, uh, you okay Nick?" asked Sara, concerned.

"I hate this..." Nick took a breath and looked ready to run. "Grissom's not getting the promotion."

"What?" Greg dropped his head to his open hands while Warrick sighed in frustration.

"I know I know I know. I don't know who's getting it, but the Sheriff specifically doesn't want Grissom. I heard him saying Gris has the people skills of a dead cockroach and the admin capabilities of a dead cockroach's pal."

Sara hissed between her teeth. "That's great. So, if it's not Grissom, we might not get back together, and Cath might get stuck with swing shift?"

Nick brightened "No, the sheriff also said that Cath is definitely getting days. Says she's earned it several times over, but it might take a couple of weeks before she's transferred, paperwork, replacements, red tape, pumpkin pie, yadayadayada."

"Pumpkin pie?"

"Forget it, Greg. Anyhow, there's still no word of what happens to us, or Cath's replacement as swing shift supervisor, so..."

"Okay, that's something, but it still leaves us the problem of Ecklie." Warrick mused.

"What about the charges? They're still good, right?"

It was Greg who spoke this time. "Ecklie is primarily being charged with Tampering with State's Evidence. Of the six counts, four are supported by evidence and two are provable beyond reasonable doubt. He's also being charged with assault with a deadly weapon. I can testify to that with Brass's account to support it."

A worried look crossed Sara's face as she remembered how spooked Greg had seemed when he'd told her about Ecklie going for the knife, as well as Brass's unearthly speed and accuracy. For the first time in several months, his hands had been shaking...

"The Obstruction of Justice charge was, I thought, a given, but apparently that could go either way (some legal motion by our favourite public defender, Maggie Finn), and the Bribery and Corruption charge means jack shit without the old man."

"So to get Ecklie with everything, we need the old man..." began Sara.

"...But we don't know who he is..." Nick continued.

"...And Ecklie's not gonna tell us anything." Warrick finished.

Greg was grinning, an air of determination about him. "You know what that means."

"Yeah." Said Grissom from the doorway, making everyone jump a couple of feet in the air. The light in his eyes was a combination of childlike glee and fierce tenacity.

"We're going to have to do it the hard way."

(Cue the Titles and The Who)

Author's Note: Okay, I've got to get this off my chest. I cannot BELIEVE I went through an entire story and never once remembered to thank everyone who had taken the time and effort to review 'Who Would Try'! I know it's a little late now, but here it is anyway:

Thank you, AzureHart and Chrissy0, for kickass (also funny) reviews,

Thank you, Insanechildfanfic, for constant reassurance,

Thank you, Princess Artemis and Dragon of Athena, for bearing with me,

Thank you, Iscariot, for constructive criticism,

Thank you, Kapparan Majic and kegel, for letting me know chapter five was okay,

Thank you, wdbydoglvr, for endless support,

Thank you, FicFreak6 and spacegal 19, for thoughtful encouragement (that's a word, right?),

Thank you, Catlover2x, for telling me I should write this next tale,

Thank you, missusmesser, angw and IndiaArlie, for telling me to go on when I'd almost given up,

And thank you, Special Agent Meg, for reading and reviewing even though the story is done. It means a lot to me.

I hope you all enjoy this next venture! Stay tuned!