Title: Underneath It All
Author: Alison xxnodaybuttoday
Rating: PG (for now)
Pairing: Mark/Roger
Summary: Mimi leaves the city, never to return. Roger finds comfort in Mark and eventually starts to feel an attraction to him that was always there, underneath it all.
Disclaimer: I own nothing except the storyline.

I.

Roger's dirty blond hair slightly swayed in the cold breeze as he stood on the roof of the building drowning his sorrows in a bottle of beer. He had been up there for quite some time. Thinking. Pacing back and forth. Reading the note she left over and over again.

Roger,

I'm leaving with my mother. She's sick and moving in with my Aunt in California. She needs me. I have to go with her. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. I don't want you to waste your time thinking of me. I may never come back. I may never get a chance to. So, please, if you can, just put me out of your mind completely. Our love will never die, but we must end things now. I'll always love you and I'm sure you feel the same. We're over. Done. We can always cherish the memory of what we had, but it exists no more. I know you'll be okay, Roger. You are strong. I have to go now. Please be strong.

Forever Your Love,

Mimi

He knew that she had meant what she said. They were over. She was never going to come back. He also knew that she had left this way to protect him. She probably didn't have that much time left. A few years at the most. She knew he wouldn't be able to cope with her dying right in front of him, so she used this as an excuse to run away. To leave him with the good memories. So that he could remember her as she was; young, fierce, vibrant, beautiful. He knew that what she said was true. He would always love her, and she him, but their relationship as they knew it was over.

Roger pulled a pack of marlboros from his pocket along with some matches, and slipped one out of the box. He placed it delicately between his lips, lit it and inhaled. His tense body relaxed a bit as he exhaled. He heard someone walking up a few feet behind him and jammed the note into his pocket forcefully.

"Here you are, Rog." A relieved-sounding Mark said as he came up to stand right next to his friend. "I've been looking for you." He put his hand out to ask for a drag of his cigarette and Roger handed it over.

Mark took a puff and handed it back. "Collins and I are going to go get something to eat. We were wondering if you and Mimi wanted to come."

Roger gave no response.

"So, would you guys like to come?"

"Um," Roger placed a hand over his eyes and squeezed as he blinked. "Maybe not tonight. Sorry. I'll see you guys later."

"Is something wrong?"

"No, well, kind of. I don't really want to talk about it right now."

"Are you sure?" He waited for an answer, but got none. "All right." He placed a hand on Roger's shoulder and gave it a little pat. "Just remember that you can talk to me." He looked at Roger's face and gave him a small smile. "I'll see you later."

"Bye." He tried to give him a smile back, but couldn't manage to bring one to his face.

He knew he could talk to Mark. This, he didn't want to talk to anyone about, though. He thought about Mark. A good soul in glasses and a scarf, constantly toting his camera around with him. He had kind blue eyes and a smile that could ease all the pain in the world. He was not at all intimidating in his small size - at least not to Roger who was a good four or five inches taller than his friend - except for when he got very angry, but that seldom happened as he had quite an easy going personality.

Roger remembered the days of his drug addiction and withdrawal. How had Mark dealt with him? He was so violent, so selfish, so undeserving of Mark's help. Roger pushed him away, and he just kept coming back. Mark knew that deep down, it was still Roger. He knew that it wouldn't last forever and that he could help him make it through and be okay again. He was so good to him. He was always so understanding. He attended to Roger's every need, whether it was holding back his hair and rubbing his back while he vomitted in the toilet or just simply getting him an extra blanket or a glass of water while he lay, uncomfortable, in bed. He could never have gotten better without Mark. He could never have gotten on with his life. He could never have met Mimi, and shared with her the most loving, passionate relationship of his life.

But she was gone now. Mark, however, was still around.