Chapter 8 out of...many

A few nights later Abby heard a knock on her door.

"Carter, what are you doing here?"

"I need to talk"

"I can't. Jake will be back soon." Abby started to close the door then stopped when she heard his cracking voice.

"It's Kem. She called today."

Carter dropped his head and Abby noticed a few tears welling up in his eyes. She knew she couldn't let him leave like this.

"Ok. Come on in" Carter walked past her and into her apartment. "Do you want anything to drink?" She asked as she pushed the door aside to close it.

"No." He said as he sat down on the couch. She came over to join him and they sat there in silence for a bit.

"How's she doing?"

"Good. Really good." He said with a fake smile. "Actually, she's getting married."

Abby's eyes got wide "Oh my gosh, Carter…"

"I thought…" He couldn't take it any more and started to cry

Abby leaned over and rubbed his back.

"It just made me think about how every thing should be. You know? I should be a father right now. More than anything… that's all I want" He shook his head "… I miss him so much"

Abby pulled him into a hug and tried to calm him down. She felt herself tearing up. Why did everything have to be so hard for him?

"Shhhh. It's going to be ok." They sat there for a while longer with Carter's head on Abby's shoulder. Finally, Carter sat up.

"I'm sorry."

"No, no it's okay" Abby tried to reassure him by rubbing his arm

Carter looked over at her again. "You always knew how make things better." He said staring longingly into her eyes. Abby gave him a friendly smile then stood up from the couch. "You know I was thinking about what you said." Abby turned and gave him a questioning look. "About what I want…" He paused and got up to move toward her then whispered softly. "I want you back Abby."

She bit her lip and then looked at him. "No" she said softly "No, Carter, I don't think you do."

Carter looked at her a bit confused. Then she stepped up to him and kissed him.

Just then Jake walked into the apartment. He had seen the door cracked open and walked in, but quickly stepped out when he saw Abby and Carter locked together, but they didn't notice him. He stood in the hallway a second, trying to figure out what he had just seen then decided it would be better to just walk away.

After a few more moments Abby gently pulled away. leaving Carter with no idea what to think.

"What did you see?"

He just stared at her for a bit then said "I saw us. Together and happy."

She sighed "I saw the past John." She stepped up to him and brushed his check. "I saw us living in the past."

"Abby…"

"Shhhhh." She hushed "Think about it. Think about how much has changed since we were together."

"I thought you said people never really change" He countered

"Ahhh, and that's still true…But just think about it."

They stood there silent for a while and just as Carter was about to speak, Abby put her hand on his lips to silence him.

"I loved you. We loved each other. And it was good. Then things were said that shouldn't have been said while other things were left unsaid that should have been said. It happens…It happened"

Carter nodded and a tear started down his cheek.

"You will always have a special place in my heart, and I have no doubt you loved me then. But do you really love me now? Would you really love me forever?" She whispered softly.

Carter stared at the ground. Unsure of what to do next.

"You can be happy again Carter."

His head shot up and he looked her straight in the eye. How did she know?

"You can't go into the past to make what happened go away."

"You seem so happy with Jake…"

"Yeah." She smiled "And for the record…I do love him."

Carter chuckled softly. "That's all I want. I guess I thought if I could get you back, being with you would take me back to happier times…before…"

"John, come here." Abby hugged him just as the tears began to fall. "You know…Wendall is an amazing woman Carter." She pulled him away and set him down on the couch. "Let her help you."

He looked back up at her.

"She loves you John. Any one can see that. She wants to help."

"You're right." Carter nodded "You're right." He sniffled and looked back over at her. She was smiling at him. He really did miss her, but she was right. Carter smiled and laid back on the couch.

She couldn't believe how exhausted he looked. He'd been through so much. "You can stay here tonight if you need to." She offered.

"Thanks."

"But you have to call Wendall first." She reached over and grabbed the phone. "We've all had enough drama for one day. Just let her know you're here and make sure she's okay with it." Carter smiled at her and started to dial.

Abby got up to find him some blankets and noticed the door was open. She was a bit startled but quickly walked over and shut it tight.