Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or anyone else, in case you still haven't got the message. But never fear, someday things will be different… wait for me Envyyyyy!

The Carnival

"I'm TIRED!" screamed Edward. They had been walking for hours, with no sign of an arcade anywhere. Envy didn't even want to play Dance Dance Revolution anymore; it was just the principle… just like that time he ate a whole chocolate cake just because Lust had told him he wouldn't be able to.

-Flash back-

"Eww!" exclaimed Lust. Envy had eaten the whole cake but was now throwing up all over the place.

"You think that's bad?" asked Dante. "You should've seen him when he was still alive and had Mercury poisoning – he was vomiting all over my nice carpet! I couldn't wait for him to just die!"

"Dante!" yelled Envy.

"Well its true…"

"You lousy bitch of a mother! No wonder he left you!"

"You little shit!" Dante roared. "He left because of you! You with your long hair and miniskirt…"

"IT'S NOT A MINISKIRT! And I didn't even look like this when he left!" Envy insisted.

"Yeah? Well you were ugly while you were alive too!"

"That's because I inherited your ugly damn genes! AND I'M NOT UGLY NOW!"

Suddenly a rumbling could be heard. "THAT'S RIGHT!" screamed hundreds of Envy fangirls who burst onto the set to kill Dante.

-Back to the Story-

'Damn I hate flashbacks…' Envy thought. "We're almost there," he told Edward.

"I don't care!" Edward persisted. "I need to take a break," he said, sitting down. "I'm not a homunculus like you guys…"

Wrath and Envy turned to face him, "We can fix that…" they said simultaneously. By this point, they needed to kill something… anything.

"Uh, I think I'll pass…" squeaked Edward with a big sweat drop.

"Aww!" the homunculi whined.

"Besides," said Edward, "all the deadly sins are taken."

Wrath and Envy looked at each other. "You could be Lust II… or Mini-Greed!" suggested Wrath.

"Hey! We earned our names..." Wrath, Envy and Edward hadn't noticed the two walking up.

"Lust! Greed!" exclaimed Edward. "It's about time you guys found us – I can't take another second being around just Wrath and Envy!"

Said sins' eyes went watery… "We. Feel. So. Rejected," …before bursting into waterfalls.

"Well come on," said Lust. "We need to get back to the carnival as soon as possible."

"The… festival?' Edward, Wrath and Envy did the confused look accompanied by the confused double blink.

"No you idiots, are you deaf?" asked Greed. "She said the carnival."

"Oh, right," they said, as they followed Greed and Lust.

Edward poked Envy. "Hey," he whispered, "aren't you going to ask them why we have to go to this carnival?"

"WELL LOOK WHO COMES CRAWLING BACK!" Envy snarled.

Edward sighed. "Why do I bother?"

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When they arrived at the festival, "THE CARNIVAL!" oh yes, sorry, when they arrived at the carnival, Edward, Wrath and Envy were in awe. There were all sorts of pretty lights, captivating sights and striking smells filling the air.

"I can't believe it…" said Wrath, "A PONY!"

"Hmph… stupid, easily excitable kid – right guys?" said Lust.

"Lots of ponies!" Edward shouted.

"Novelty –sized hats!" Greed shouted.

"Cotton candy!" Envy shouted.

Lust sweat dropped. She knew she should have seen that coming but…

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Guys! I think there's a little girl somewhere that needs our help!" said Edward.

"Well," said Lust, "in case you haven't noticed, we're the deadly sins, we don't just go around helping little girls in distress…"

"Also," Greed added, "that was actually Envy."

"You'll bloody die for this!" came the voice once more.

"Yup," said Wrath, "definitely Envy."

They all ran up anyway. "Envy, what happened?" asked Edward. Envy was in the middle of choking the shopkeeper to death, so Edward and Lust struggled to pry him off the half-dead old man.

"Envy!" yelled Lust, still restraining the distraught homunculus, who was kicking frantically. "You can't kill any humans until we find the treasure!"

"But there's no green!" he screamed. "There's no green cotton candy…" Envy started to calm down, but he was still deeply emotionally scarred (oh! I hate hurting Envy…).

"No one ever sells green cotton candy, Envy…" said Greed.

Envy scowled. "You're lucky pink is my second favourite colour…" he muttered, settling for pink. "This is such a crappy carnival…"

"FESTIVAL! No wait, yeah, carnival – remember that!"

The five of them kept walking, Wrath, Envy and Greed were determined to go on all the happy rides but Lust ordered them to follow her, and since Envy had screamed and cursed and cried enough for the day, they just did as they were told.

"So," said Edward, "now that that idiocy is behind us, what's this treasure?"

"You want me to spoil the surprise?" smirked Lust.

"Yes, yes! Spoil the surprise! SPOIL THE SURPRISE!" demanded Greed, jumping up and down.

"Shhh! We're here," Lust whispered.

"This is a shoe shop!" said Wrath.

"Yes I know," said Lust, "these heels are killing me…"

All of a sudden, the gang were apprehended by a group of occupational therapists. "Dear God, not again!" cried Greed.

They jumped on the sins… and Edward… and tried to haul them into a suspicious-looking van, which was parked next to the shoe shop. "Let me go!" Edward demanded.

Meanwhile, somewhere far away (but not so far that he was out of hearing range)…

"What was that!…" The man yelled. "It couldn't be… merry-go-round music!"

"Colonel, can you smell that?"

"I can… OCCUPATIONAL THERAPISTS! Not now, not again!"

And back to the others…

"Who are you guys?" asked Wrath. "What do you want with us?"

A tall, dark and sinister occupational therapist stepped forward, a crooked smile on his face. "Don't play games with us, punk," he stated plainly. "Where are they?"

"We don't know what you're talking about," Lust said.

"I won't ask you again… WHERE ARE THE IMPORTED HORNED WEASELS!"

"I bet you will ask us again…" taunted Envy.

The man glared at Envy. "Yes, we probably will actually," he admitted, "but still!"

"STOP!" yelled the Colonel, running up.

"COLONEL MUSTANG!" the gang yelled.

"Roy!" yelled Greed.

"Hey Greed, wicked party that was, dude!" said Roy.

"I reckon, we all got so smashed-"

"A-HEM!" went the others.

"Oh yeah," said Roy, "don't worry, I know how to deal with occupational therapists… QUICK! LOOK BEHIND YOU!"

"Where?" the occupational therapists did look… and so did Envy.

Lust hit him over the head with a big hammer she just pulled out from behind her. "Oh, this is where we escape huh?" he figured.

They all jumped in Roy's small car and sped away…. Yes, all six of them, Edward and Wrath are very short, and even though Roy only had his P's and couldn't afford any demerits, he was still rather wasted, and didn't notice.

The occupational therapists were still looking, but sooner or later they would be in hot pursuit.

"Roy…?" said Edward. "Where are we going?"

"…To my tall house…"

Ooooooh, spooky stuff! Will the occupational therapists catch up with them? Is Roy's house really as tall as he makes it out to be? Is the barbeque finally in sight? WILL LUST FINALLY GET SOME MORE COMFORTABLE SHOES? (Damn, I ruined it didn't I? You can only ask 3 of those questions…)

PLEASE REVIEW!

Thankyou reviewers! Thanks crazyanimefreak15! I can't picture that, but I guess it just depends on how girly they made his voice… its not that girly right… RIGHT?

Thanks Lust… you know I was almost done with this chapter when I read your review anyway… but I'm sure I'll be able to respond appropriately next time, heheheh…pulls out chainsaw AND ITS NOT A SKIRT!

MrGreed… there was no need to mention how good you looked in that outfit… I'm sure all the nice readers could tell. And Roy? Well it isn't quite Sunday yet (I left that out on purpose… the barbeque will be the finale, and the length of the story depends on the reviews.. hint hint!)

Once more, PLEASE REVIEW – and if you want me to put anything into the story, just ask… there's no set plan at this stage. BYE!