DISCLAIMER: Harry Potter is property of JK Rowling. I'm just borrowing him for a bit of fun.
PAIRING: SB/RL this means SLASH
THIS CHAPTER: The Order's response to Remus's 'argument'. Plus: Remus creates some magic and disappears, and McGonagall reminisces.
WARNINGS: cursing
NOTES: Catclaw- I owe you cookies. Or something. It's a bit heavy on the Harry POV this time. Don't worry, I'll make up for it. Feedback is greatly appreciated and reviewers will have my undying affection! –Lani

Chapter 5

There is no genius free from some tincture of madness.
Seneca

Harry was actually afraid of his former professor. The Weasleys, plus Harry, Hermione, Tonks, and Lupin, had been sitting down for one final dinner together before Charlie returned to Romania. Tonks and Charlie were talking quietly, Hermione was whispering something to Ginny, and Mrs. Weasley was organizing a trip to Diagon Alley the next day. Charlie needed some new clothes before he left, and everyone else wanted to get out of the house.

Everything was perfect, until Lupin began talking to himself. Whatever Lupin was hearing, he obviously didn't like it. When he crushed the glass he was holding, everyone stood up. Lupin was glaring at the empty seat across from him. When he stood up and started growling, they backed towards the door.

"Professor Lupin?" Hermione whimpered. Lupin did not hear her. They all jumped a foot when he flipped the table over, food and all.

"Shut up, Shut up, SHUT UP!" Lupin shouted. His eyes were blazing with anger.

They could only watch in horror as he ranted and raved to the Sirius in his mind. The air was crackling with energy like the warded doors to Sirius's room. Dishes sitting in the sink began to rattle and shake.

"I TOLD YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Lupin bellowed. Mrs. Weasley burst into tears; Tonks was close behind. Mr. Weasley pulled out his wand to sedate Lupin, but gasped and dropped it. All of their wands were like fire to touch.

Harry's face completely drained as Lupin raged on about Sirius's betrayals and the rescue at the Ministry. Ron looked like he was going to faint. And then Lupin said the unforgivable.

"Don't you see, Sirius?" Remus asked softly. "No matter how much you fight it, you are a Black. You are exactly like your mother."

Harry wanted to scream. He wanted to shove Lupin until he woke up from whatever fantasy he was in. He wanted Lupin to go back to being the friendly former professor they all knew and cared about. Most of all, however, he wanted Sirius to be there to shut him up for them.

They watched in terror as Lupin swung at the air in front of them. Reality must have hit him then, because he stood staring at his hands. The magical energy that surged through the room slowly abated. Lupin looked terrible with a torn up hand, hair in disarray, and blood smeared on his cheek.

"He's lost it," Fred broke the silence. "He's gone completely mad."

Lupin looked at them as if he'd just realized they were there. "Mad. Yes. That's it!" he said excitedly. "It can't be all—but, it has to be why. I was mad—and that triggered it—I read about it somewhere…" He rushed to the door. They all darted out of his way. "Stupid bloody werewolf. It was there the entire time…" Lupin muttered all the way upstairs. His cane lay abandoned on the kitchen floor.

"Absolutely loony," Ron added in a whisper.

"Right then." Mr. Weasley picked his wand up. "Let's get this place cleaned up. Molly, could you contact Dumbledore? I think we need an emergency meeting." Harry was glad someone was taking charge. "Tonks, can you find out where Remus went and try to keep him in there?"

Before Tonks could respond, Ginny ran up, her face flushed with exertion. "He went into his old room. That room's warded now, too. There's no way in." Harry hadn't even seen her follow Lupin.

"Well. I guess he'll stay put. Charlie, do you think you could delay your return one more day?"

"Sure thing." Charlie looked resignedly around the kitchen.

Mrs. Weasley came back into the room. "Sorry, Harry. I had to borrow Hedwig. She's the fastest, most reliable owl here."

They all gathered around the flipped table.

"So how are we going to do this?" George asked.

"Everyone grab a hold and slowly turn it over; I don't trust using magic quite yet after that outburst." Mr. Weasley directed everyone to their places. Although there were eleven people heaving at it, the table didn't budge.

"How did Lupin do this by himself?" Ron panted. He rubbed his hands where the heavy oak had dug at his skin.

"His highly agitated state in combination with his—condition—probably produced a surge of adrenaline." Hermione rolled her eyes at Ron's blank stare. "He's an angry werewolf. Do the math yourself."

They eventually righted the table with a combination of carefully applied magic and simple manual labor. Dumbledore must have acted quickly because the first wave of Order members arrived within minutes. The Headmaster himself arrived after half an hour and sat at the head of the table, a pensive look on his face. Everyone remained quiet. No one tried to make Harry, Hermione, Ron, or Ginny leave. Within an hour of Lupin's outburst, the kitchen was full of alert wizards and witches.

"It appears as if I have miscalculated again," Dumbledore began. Everyone present exchanged puzzled looks. "I have underestimated Mr. Lupin's grief."

"What's going on, sir?" asked the wizard Harry recognized as Hortkins.

"I don't think anyone really knows besides Remus himself. But I think Arthur Weasley should be able to fill us in."

Mr. Weasley cleared his throat and stood up. "We noticed something was wrong after the full moon. The potion Remus took didn't work. His injuries were extensive."

"Nothing was wrong with that potion, as I had told Headmaster Dumbledore previously," Snape interrupted with a sneer. "I never brew an imperfect potion."

"We're not saying the potion was bad. I think Remus was already seeing things at that point, and the potion didn't take in his state." Murmurs started when Mr. Weasley mentioned 'seeing things'. "Anyway, shortly after that he began to act a bit jumpy. Sometimes he would mention Sirius or start to talk to him. There have been incidences of him having a conversation to an empty room. Remus sees Sirius, and talks to him."

The murmurs erupted into louder whispers.

"That's not all!" Mr. Weasley spoke over them. When there was silence again, he continued. "This evening, during dinner, Remus started yelling at Sirius. He flipped over the table, and his magic went out of control—our wands became too hot to hold. He's been in his room ever since."

"Wonderful!" shouted the goateed wizard that escorted Harry to headquarters. "We have an insane werewolf on our hands."

"He's not insane!" Ginny retorted. "He's just confused." Harry felt a surge of gratitude.

"No, he's insane. We should just put him down and get it over with." The entire room exploded.

"You can't just 'put him down'…" Elphias Doge shouted.

"He's not an animal!" Hestia Jones said indignantly.

"…never thought we could rely on him…" a dark haired witch muttered.

"That's no way to talk about a fellow Order member…" Emmeline Vance retorted.

"SILENCE." Dumbledore's presence immediately filled the room. "Remus Lupin is a valuable member of the Order. I've known him since he was a child; he's as human as any one of us. We will have no more talk of 'putting down' or 'animals'."

A horrible chuckling noise reached Harry's ears. They all looked at Snape. To everyone's surprise, he was actually laughing.

"So the werewolf has finally lost it." He chuckled again. "I always knew he was weak. The poor fool lost that pitiful Black to his own stupidity and now he has to imagine him back into existence to ease his broken heart—and creating quite a stir in the process."

"SHUT UP!" Harry screamed. "Just because you've never lost anyone you've loved, or even had anyone to love…" He stopped abruptly when Dumbledore placed a hand on his shoulder. Snape glared at him.

"There will be no more personal attacks on anyone. We are here to discuss a serious problem. It is obvious that Remus is in desperate need of professional help. He has become a danger to himself and those around him, magically as well as physically, as demonstrated by the evening's events. I will try to take care of that."

"But he's in his room!" Hermione interrupted. "It's warded so much that no one can go get him."

"Well, that does present a problem. Alastor?"

"Yes, sir," Moody replied gruffly from the back of the room.

"Is Remus currently still in his room?"

"I can't tell, sir." They all gaped at Moody. His magic eye should have been able to see those rooms easily. "Black and Lupin's rooms have been blocked from my vision since headquarters was set up. I taught them well," Moody added with an ironic smirk.

"Hmm. Quite the dilemma." Dumbledore paused to think. "Alastor, can you stay at headquarters for a few days? As soon as Remus leaves his room, I want to be notified. Keep him in your sights."

"Yes, sir."

"Now, the real reason we are gathered." Dumbledore looked about the room. "It is a top priority that none of this leaves this house." There were a few raised eyebrows. "I want you all to keep Remus's health a secret. It could perhaps ruin everything if it slips that Remus is not entirely himself."

"Then why even tell us what's going on?" Emmeline Vance asked.

"Simple. I want you to do some research for me—discreetly, of course. I have a feeling this is more than a case of a man grieving. Find everything you can on mind-altering spells, on who might possibly cast one on Mr. Lupin. Anything that might be relevant. Inquire with people you know, your sources. Remember, though, remain discreet."

"And what about our other missions?"

"Continue them, naturally. We will proceed as if this has never happened. Only research in your spare time. Which reminds me—Tonks, I would like to speak with you privately after the meeting. I will need you to pick up where Remus left off. It will not do to have him absent for so long."

"Is that all, Headmaster?" Snape asked in an attempt of a respectful tone. "I have a potion that needs my attention." He obviously felt no concern for Lupin.

"Of course. You may all leave." Dumbledore gazed around the room again. "Remember, this is of the utmost secrecy."

As people started exiting the room, Harry heard Dumbledore mutter to himself, "The effects of this could be disastrous."

Remus was so excited, he barely noticed the shocked looks of the Weasleys. Fred had said he was mad, and it explained almost everything. He burst into his old room and quickly warded the door. It wouldn't do to be interrupted. Sirius was standing next to him, slightly bewildered and still clutching his jaw.

"Sorry 'bout that." Remus said distractedly.

"No you're not. What's going on? Why can you suddenly touch me?"

Remus was scanning the bookshelves. "The same reason," he pulled out some books, "that I began to see you, to hear you."

"That explains nothing." Sirius placed his hands on Remus's shoulders, effectively halting him in place. They both gasped at the pleasant new ability to touch. "Take a deep breath and start at the beginning."

Remus explained his theory as simply as possible.

"Are you certain? Sounds a bit wonky to me." Sirius began to pace.

"I'm nearly a hundred percent certain."

"And you agree with me now? I'm not dead?"

"Well, you're not dead, but you're not quite alive either."

"But you just said—"

"I know. Which is why you're not dead. You're not quite alive, however, because no one else can see or hear you."

"This is hurting my brain." Sirius stopped pacing and sat down on the bed.

Remus continued his search of the library. When he stopped, there were nearly a dozen books on the floor. He sat on the floor and created a circle around him with the books. Each one was opened to a specific section, and then rose into the air. They began floating at eye level, the pages open towards Remus. Sirius watched intently from the bed. Remus placed a blank piece of parchment in front of him, grabbed a quill, and with a flick of his wand rotated the circle of books until the one he wanted was right in front of him.

"So what are you doing now?"

"What I do best, Padfoot." Remus grinned at Sirius. "I'm going to make some magic."

Sirius threw back his head and laughed.

Three days into the Lupin Vigil, as Harry privately called it, and Lupin was still in his room. Charlie had long since departed for Romania, much to the distress of the Weasleys, Bill left for his own flat, Fred and George returned to their shop in Diagon Alley, Moody was a permanent and wearisome houseguest, and Harry was stuck doing Potions homework. Hermione had decided that sitting around worrying wasn't going to help anybody and promptly set up study sessions.

A strange semblance of normalcy spread through Grimmauld Place. The only sign that something was amiss was whenever Mrs. Weasley took food up to Lupin's room. Every day she placed a large platter of food in front of the door, and every night it disappeared. Harry was relieved that Lupin was at least eating. On the third day, however, Mrs. Weasley's shouts brought everyone to the second floor. Mrs. Weasley stood in the hallway, platter still in her hands, and was staring at the door, which was currently ajar. Moody cursed, and stumped downstairs to contact Dumbledore.

Mr. Weasley cautiously opened the door, to find an empty bedroom.

"How did he leave without Alastor noticing?" Mrs. Weasley gasped.

"I think the real question," Ron said, "is 'Where did he go?'"

"I couldn't have put it better myself, Mr. Weasley," Dumbledore said from behind them. Both the headmaster and Professor McGonagall looked flushed from rushing to headquarters. Without further conversation, Dumbledore entered the room. Everyone peered in from the doorway.

Harry couldn't notice any large change to the room since he'd last been in it, except that there was less dust. Books were still piled everywhere, although it appeared as if there were more spread about the floor. A pile of papers was left abandoned in the center of the room. Dumbledore peered about the room.

"This is quite worrisome." Dumbledore frowned. "No indication to where he would have gone."

"That parchment has an unusually high amount of magical activity, sir," said Moody from the doorway. He pointed to the paper at the center of the floor. Dumbledore picked it up carefully.

"I cannot understand any of this." He frowned further. "It appears to be the ramblings of a troubled soul." He strode out of the room. "I will have to put out an alert."

Everyone followed him towards the kitchen, except for McGonagall, Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Ginny. McGonagall picked up the piece of parchment from where Dumbledore had dropped it. She had a faint smile on her face. Harry and the others gathered near her.

"What is it, Professor?" Hermione asked. It was obvious she was itching to get a hold of the parchment.

"Runes. Hundreds of runes, in no particular order." She looked at Hermione, but appeared to be gazing beyond her. "I've only seen something like this when Mr. Lupin attended Hogwarts."

"Seen what?"

McGonagall placed the paper on the desk. Harry could see hundreds of strange symbols moving about on it.

"When Mr. Black began his third year, it was in absolute silence. His mother had stripped him of his voice as punishment for something during the summer. The spell was permanent."

"Permanent?" Ginny whispered.

"His friends adapted as best they could. They formed their own type of sign language. Albus and I spent many hours searching for any counter-curse." McGonagall sighed. "It was little Remus Lupin that figured it all out. He had been in Ancient Runes for little over a month, but was determined to fix his friend. One Sunday at breakfast, when few teachers were there to stop him, Remus created his own spell."

"But that's far too advanced for a third year!" Hermione said indignantly. "It takes a knowledge of Runes that exceeds even OWL level. Not to mention it's highly dangerous to the wizard creating the spell and the wizard it's being performed on."

"Precisely. Needless to say, we were all shocked when Remus pointed his wand at his friend, shouted out his very own spell, and gave Sirius back his voice. Remus spent the next week in the hospital wing. He had drained almost all of his power. He nearly died. Albus decided that was punishment enough. But Remus remained unapologetic." McGonagall stared at the paper. "When I gathered Remus's research to make sure there were no surprising after-effects, I found a paper much like this one. It was all there was to Remus's blueprints."

"So Professor Lupin's making a spell?" Ginny said in disbelief.

McGonagall took out her wand and pointed it at the paper. A slight flick of the wand, and the paper began to glow. The inky black symbols turned blue and jumped off the paper. They moved about on the walls, ceiling, and floor. The room had turned into a strange, blue carousel.

"I recognize those runes," Hermione stated in awe, pointing at the ceiling, "but they're completely out of place. Those two do not work in tandem."

"After that spell," McGonagall continued, "it was often that I'd confiscate some paper or another from Remus or his friends that had the same confusing scribbles. I believe they created many of their own spells for their pranks." McGonagall gazed about the room. With another flick of her wrist, the runes returned to the parchment. "It's either the work of a genius—or a madman." She turned to leave. "I'll have to inform Albus."

"I don't understand," Harry said once McGonagall had left. "Wizards make up magic all the time. Why is this so different?"

"It's a matter of intent—sort of." Hermione chewed her lip in thought. "Most wizards, when they're advanced enough, can improvise when need be. Usually, however, they draw on existing spells and simply alter them or combine them—like combining a mobilicorpus spell with a flipping charm." Harry remembered the scene from Snape's pensieve. Hermione looked at the parchment. "Lupin is creating a spell out of nothing. It is a new spell, fueled by his intent. It's like taking magic in its basic form, pure energy, and molding it to fit your needs."

Ron whistled. "I wonder what he's creating with this mess."

"I guess we'll find out," Harry sighed.

Remus did not return that day, or the day after. Harry and the others could tell that the Order was nearly in a panic trying to locate him. Wizards and witches came and went so often that having a meal in peace was out of the question. Tonks appeared the day of his disappearance with a cut on her forehead.

"Tonks!" Molly gasped. "What happened?"

"Well, I can't walk about as Remus if he's somewhere out there." Tonks wiped the blood from her forehead. "Besides, apparently the people I was supposed to meet could tell I wasn't him even from several feet away. I think I inadvertently started the rumor about Remus's well-being that we were trying to avoid." Tonks smiled ruefully.

Four days after Remus disappeared, an exhausted owl found its way to Grimmauld. Mrs. Weasley had let it in from her bedroom window, and practically ran in to the kitchen.

"He's written to Harry!" she announced. "Arthur, get Dumbledore. There may be some clues as to where he's gone."

When Harry heard his name, he grabbed the letter. "No!"

"What?" Mrs. Weasley was taken aback.

"This is my letter. No one can look at it except me." Harry didn't know why he was being so possessive, but he had a feeling that the letter was something really personal.

"Harry, dear, you have to understand! We need to find out where Remus is so we can get him some help," Mrs. Weasley pleaded.

"If there are any clues in the letter, I'll tell you," Harry said coldly. Mrs. Weasley left the room in exasperation. Mr. Weasley hurried after her.

Slowly, carefully, Harry broke the seal of the envelope. Ginny, Ron, and Hermione were staring in anticipation. As soon as Harry pulled the rather bulky parchment out, a strange hissing noise filled the air. Dozens of brightly colored butterflies flew out of the envelope. They circled lazily about the room, often landing on their noses or in their hair.

"Beautiful!" Ginny laughed.

Hermione held her hand out for one to land on. "They tickle!" she giggled.

Even Ron was enjoying them. Periodically the butterflies would light up with a soft green glow. Harry picked up a small slip of paper that had fallen out with the butterflies. What he read made him smile.

"They're for you and Hermione," Harry told Ginny.

"What?" Hermione asked breathlessly.

"Lupin says they're Everflies. He caught them for you because he thought you might like them." The envelope hissed again and two glass bubbles appeared, floating a foot above the table. The Everflies were pulled into the bubbles, where they continued their lazy circling.

"Did I get anything?" Ron peered into the envelope as if he'd find a mountain of gold in it.

"Not this time. Lupin says the Everflies were the only thing interesting where he was. He says to put flowers in the bubbles every now and then, and the Everflies will last a long time."

While the others were absorbed in the gift, Harry picked up the letter and went to his room. He wanted to read it in private.