Chapter 5: A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

"Luke?" Bo's soft voice filtered through his cousin's muzzy senses.

"Mmm?" Apparently he'd fallen asleep after all.

"Did, uh, did we get into an accident?"

That woke Luke up. He sat up in the chair and looked at Bo, who was looking around the hospital room with confusion. "No, Bo - you mean you don't remember?" He'd remembered just fine last night!

"No…I mean, I thought we got to the motel, but I feel like I was hit by a mac truck…what happened?"

Luke was on his feet, though. "Look, I'm gonna go find a doctor. Hang tight, Bo, I'll be right back."

Out in the hallway, Luke looked both ways and headed for the first nurse he saw, a prim red-head in her thirties studying a clipboard as she walked towards him.

"Excuse me, miss! My cousin, he…"

She looked up with surprise that faded into stern annoyance. "Young man, are you a patient here?" she interrupted.

"No ma'am, but…"

"Well I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave! Visiting hours aren't until eight-thirty, our patients need their rest!"

"But I've been here all night! Look, my cousin…"

"I don't know who let you in here, but it certainly wasn't me. Let's go, now!"

Unable to get a word in edgewise, Luke found himself standing outside the ward, the swinging doors swaying shut in front of him. Through the glass, he could see the nurse speaking with the others at the nurse's station, and they all looked back at him. He sighed. There would be no getting back in now. He turned and walked down the hallway towards the elevators, intent on talking to the first doctor he met.

Ten minutes later, Luke was sitting in another waiting room, literally twiddling his thumbs and looking up at the clock on the wall every minute or so. He'd found a doctor, explained about Bo, was assured he'd be looked at, and was sent down here to wait. It was 7:47. Couldn't they make an exception? he'd asked. No, he was told, the nurse was right, and the hospital had rules for a reason. Finally Luke got to his feet. This inaction was killing him. To pass time, he decided to go out to the General in the parking garage and fetch Bo a set of clothes and his boots.

After gathering Bo's things into a neat bundle under one arm, Luke paused and considered whether he needed any of his own things. Maybe something to read, he decided, and started looking for one of the magazines he'd packed. Instead, he came across an old cigar box carefully stashed between his shirts. Pulling it out, Luke considered for a moment, and then added it to his load. Closing the trunk, he set off back through the parking garage, hoping it was almost eight-thirty.

Luke was waiting at the ward doors at 8:29. The same prim nurse stood at the desk when he walked in a minute later, but he greeted her politely just the same and signed in before heading down to Bo's room. His cousin was asleep again when he walked in, though, so Luke sat quietly back in his chair and set the clothes down on the floor, to wait.

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First thing in the morning, back in Hazzard, Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane was rolling up the driveway of the Duke farm in his patrol car. Well, it was first thing in the morning for Rosco, which meant, after coming in late, talking with Boss, arguing with Enos, and taking two coffee breaks, it was close to eleven. Irregardless of the time, though, Rosco was grinning like a fox seeing the door to the chicken coop left wide open, and that was never a good thing.

"Oh, we got 'em this time, Flash, khew khew!" he snickered to his basset hound, who regarded him from the passenger seat. He patted the paper folded in his front pocket. "And it's all legal this time too, khew! I love it, I love it!"

Flash woofed a bass woof at her master. She, at least, knew better.

"Now, Flash, you wait here while Daddy goes and does some work," Rosco said as he parked the car in front of the farmhouse. "And if you're a good girl, he'll give you some num-num's when we get back to the Boar's Nest."

Jesse Duke saw Rosco pulling up from the barn, and walked out to meet him, wiping oil from the tractor off his hands. "Rosco! What're ya doin' here, the boys are gone and there ain't nothin' you can pin on them this time!"

"Now Jesse, that ain't very polite!" Rosco scolded, nearly tripping on a chicken as he walked across the yard. "Besides, I ain't here for them, I'm here to see you this time!"

Jesse frowned at him suspiciously. "Well, what is it, then?"

Rosco pulled the paper from his pocket and handed it to the Duke clan patriarch. "I am here to serve you this official summons, and to take you in for intentionally defrauding the county and state government!" he declared triumphantly.

"What?.!" Jesse exclaimed, reading over the summons. "Rosco, what are you talking about? What's J.D. trying to pull now?" Daisy had told him last night that something might be up, after Enos told her what he overheard.

"Well see, you, Jesse Duke, are in violation of code 1346-7c of the state and county tax laws. Tax evasion," Rosco translated.

"Rosco! I've paid every penny of the taxes I've owed for fifty years, and I've got the records in the house to prove it!" Jesse rumbled angrily. Well, except for the moonshine - but that didn't count.

"Well that may be, but you're also in violation of code 982b, which states that every property owner in Hazzard County must have his land and property reassessed every five years by a state revenuer for tax purposes, and you, Jesse Duke, haven't had your property assessed in seventeen years! So, you've been lying on all your property taxes all these years, and I'm here to take you in!" Rosco snickered, "Oh, I love it, I love it!"

Jesse didn't have an argument against that one. He'd never heard of that law, and he was sure J.D. Hogg was behind this, but - grumbling - he let Rosco take him it, at least until he could get to the bottom of this. Flash looked at him sadly from the front seat as they rolled off.

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It was nearly noon, and Luke sat in the chair still, looking through the contents of the cigar box. They were pictures, mostly, that he rarely pulled out to look at. One was of him, Bo, and Uncle Jesse, standing in front of the farmhouse the day he shipped out for basic training. His cousin and uncle looked so proud. Another was of his company, outside the barracks a week before going overseas. Luke could count the faces one by one that hadn't returned, and he vividly remembered how each had died and what young recruit had been brought in to replace them. There were more than a few of him and Rob or Rob and the other guys, playing poker or messing around at base camp, dogtags hanging against tan t-shirts. More than a few pictures also held stains from mud and blood, ragged at the edges - especially one particular photo of the whole Duke family, taken by Cooter the day Luke graduated from high school. Luke smiled a little ata phototaken in Saigon, where he was sitting in a rickshaw - still unable to walk much on his own - and Rob was pulling him along with a grin. Behind that was a professional portrait of a younger Rob Fulton, his pretty wife and adolescent son, dressed in their best Sunday clothes. There were more besides that - these were all the pictures he had carried with him those twenty-two months, some taken beforehand, some developed during brief reprieves in the city. Underneath all the pictures sat a black velvet jewelry box. That was…

"Hey, cuz."

Luke snapped the box shut and looked up, to see Bo looking back at him. "Morning, Bo. Or, afternoon, now."

Bo smiled sheepishly. "Sorry. Guess I fell asleep after you left."

"How ya feelin'?"

"Better, though I wish I remembered what happened. I still think I was hit by a truck."

Luke sighed and shook his head. "It wasn't a truck that hit you, Bo, it was me."

"You?"

Luke quickly explained.

"Oh!" was Bo's response, "Well, that's the last time I make you mad!" he joked with a grin. Then he noticed the box in Luke's hands. "Hey, what's that?"

"Oh, ah, just some pictures and things."

"Can I see?"

With no good excuse to refuse, Luke opened the box and handed Bo the assortment of photos. He kept the rest of it safely out of sight, though. Bo slowly looked through them, looking for his cousin's face in each one. He asked, hesitantly, about a couple of them - where were they, who was this man or that - and he missed none of the brown and red stains that marred the images. Luke pointed out Rob in the first couple, but was quiet after that. Bo stopped for a long time at the tattered picture of the Duke family. It had been rolled, folded, creased and crushed, but was lovingly resmoothed flat between the other pictures.

"Hey Luke?" Bo asked without looking up.

"Yeah, Bo?"

"How come you never told us?" When Luke was silent, he added, "I mean,eight years, it's a long time."

Luke sighed. He knew the question would be asked sooner or later - though he would have preferred later. "I guess…Bo, when I was out there…I just…I never wanted you, or Daisy, or Uncle Jesse to have anything to do with any of that. That was why I was out there, because I didn't want you ever to have to hear about it, or see it, or know about any of the things I'd seen, or done. You were all here, and that was there, and knowing you were safe was what…kept me going," he finished softly.

Bo nodded. He didn't entirely understand, but it helped to know that it wasn't just because Luke thought he was a kid.

"I ah, better go let the doctors know you're awake," Luke said, standing. He took the pictures back and put them in the box, tucking it safely under the chair before heading out.

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After being checked over again by another doctor, Bo was given a clean bill of health and released from the hospital, with a laundry list of instructions on how to take care of his stitches and what adverse symptoms to watch out for. Top on that list was no driving for several days, as long as dizziness or headache persists. The hospital bill bit a big chunk out of their cash supply, but they still had enough for travel expenses - Uncle Jesse had given them the entire remainder of that reward money, minus the $300 he'd paid to Boss. Luke and Bo had a few phone calls to make, though, before they left the hospital.

Bo's first call was to Uncle Jesse, who strangely enough didn't pick up. He tried the Boar's Nest instead and talked to Daisy, who was greatly relieved to hear from him. Jesse had told her about the incident at breakfast. She promised to let him know when she saw him, and gave Bo and Luke her love.

While Bo talked to Daisy, Luke found a phonebook and looked up the number to the management of the Arlington National Cemetery. He used another phone to call and get details on the time and location of his friend's funeral.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Duke, but I've been asked to direct all inquiries to a Ms. Pauline Herschmen at the West Hotel in town."

Luke scribbled down the number, then thanked the man and hung up. He dialed the hotel, and the front desk connected him to the room phone.

"Hello, Pauline speaking."

"Ah, hello, Miss Herschmen, this is Luke Duke…"

"Oh! Luke! Dear, are you in town? Were you able to come?"

"Well, we're in D.C., I think. The fella at the cemetery gave me your number there."

"Oh, good! I'm so glad you're here, though I wish the circumstances were different."

"Me too, ma'am."

"Have you had lunch yet? Please, I'd like to meet you, it's my treat."

Luke could hardly refuse. "No ma'am, we haven't eaten yet. My cousin Bo is with me."

"Oh, he's welcome to come too, dear! Can you meet me at my hotel? There's a little place just down the road…"

Luke took down directions from the kindly nurse and hung up, turning to his waiting cousin. "Ready to go?"

"Sure thing, where we goin'?"

"We've got a lunch date. Come on, I'll explain on the way."

Now, remember friends, we've still got a funeral to get to, and a mighty somber one at that.