Part Eight
Pooh pulled the emerald green Jaguar to the front of the von Maurer Mansion. Big black iron gates surrounded the mansion, and numerous times he had peered in through the bars wondering what was inside. Now he would get to find out. The valet took his car. He was led up a golden, marble, winding staircase that had a mural painted wall. This staircase went right up into the Taurus ballroom. As soon as he walked through the door he was escorted by a lovely raven haired maiden in a fantastic royal purple gown down a red carpet. There sat Felix von Maurer himself, with the Mrs. They sat on massive, antique cherry wood chairs with ornate carving on them, and upholstered with apricot velvet. Pooh bowed down.
"My lord, my lady," he said. The suit worked it's magic for Pooh did not jet out his ass, or keep his head up.
"Winfred Pooh III," Mrs. Von Maurer said. "How very charming."
The Taurus Ballroom itself was indescribable. It had an enormous wooden dance floor that had been waxed so that it shone like a new sheet of ice. A small stage had been set up where the orchestra would play once the dancing began, Now, a chamber quintet played the music of Beethoven, Schubert, and Mendelssohn. On each side of the stage were cages gilded in real gold leaf, with Go-Go dancers dancing inside of them. The ceiling had been hand painted with a blue sky, wispy clouds, and cherubs holding lutes and harps. Huge windows clothed in light blue silk taffeta drapes trimmed with golden braiding and tassels decorated the walls. Right in the middle of the dance floor was a glass dome letting in natural light. There also was an extravagant, glorious, heavenly, crystal chandelier that had once hung in the Versailles. Pooh tried to find Piglet, Eeyore, Owl, and Rabbit through the mingling guests, but he got side tracked by the tables of food. The food tables could be called spectacles of just themselves. Pooh's jaw dropped, and his heart almost stopped.
"It's more exquisite than the cruise ships," Pooh breathed to himself in the same delight and amazement as a nine-year-old girl seeing The Nutcracker for the first time would. There was a white marble fountain spewing Kristal champagne. There also was an open bar with any kind of liquor brand, schnapps flavor, world-class beer, and shots, known to man. There was a huge brass cappuccino machine. also there was hot mulled cider, spiced eggnog, and Godiva hot chocolate. There were tables heaped with shrimp cocktail, mussels, oysters, and clams. There was a caviar station with over fifty different kinds of caviar, and a cheese table with cheeses from over thirty countries. There was an on duty wine steward who would bring up any kind and vintage of wine desired from the Ford's cellar. There were baked mushrooms, crab and artichoke fondu, baked artichokes, and currant pones. A gigantic Ford Expedition ice sculpture adorned a table heaped high with fresh pineapple, mango, guavas, figs, and pomegranates. By the sushi table were pyrotechnic jets that intermittently spewed fire. There were medallions of Kobe beef, crab legs already cracked open for you, lobster tails, Foccacia bread, hummus, honey roasted chestnuts, shallots, deviled eggs, and honey cured ham pockets. Pooh nearly fainted when he spotted the sweets tables. Huge pink sugarplums hung from the ceiling.
Amongst the tables were mechanical ballerinas that twirled amongst the sweets. There was one table with over twenty different cheesecakes, everything from Irish cream, to pumpkin flavored. There were éclairs, napoleons, baklava, cream puffs, decadent tiramisu, fudge slices, peppermint patties, meringue fairies, crème brulee, lemon squares, fruitcake, ginger cake doused in real clotted cream, chocolate dipped cherries, apricots, and strawberries, a rainbow of pettifores, buche de noel, cannolies, pecan squares, apple strudle ala mode, caramel apples, peanut brittle, and a huge glorious twelve layer cake with twenty three tiers, one for each day of the month. The cake was decorated with tiffany blue icing, white piped snowflakes, and a white lattice pattern. It must have taken hours to complete and was a work of art in itself. Each layer was had a different filling, including apricot, pecan, white chocolate, Irish cream, and strawberry. Pooh took a humongous slice of cake filled with strawberry and coconut. He took another plate heaped with honey scones, Devonshire cream, mussels, crab legs dripping with butter, deviled eggs, and ham rolls. He took another plate with six éclairs, ten chocolate dipped strawberries, a piece of pecan pie, and three strawberry napoleons. He also got a huge goblet of blackberry wine, two shots of crown royal, and a flute of Kristal from the champagne fountain. He was just about to shove down his first bite of napoleon when Piglet, Eeyore, Rabbit, and Rabbit's lover Ramuegen spotted him.
"Pooh you made it!" Piglet cried.
"Yeah did he finally kick the can?" Eeyore asked. Piglet looked absolutely stunning. Her dress was silver, with a full puffy skirt. The dress was strapless, with intricate beading of diamonds and mother of pearl. The skirt was made of silvery taffeta and tulle. Custom made glass slippers trimmed with diamonds, a diamond choker and earring set, and a diamond tiara completed the ensemble. Eeyore was decked out in his black Jos Banks suit that matched Pooh's, except instead of a red shirt he had on a gray shirt and tie. Ramuegen was in an Armani Tux jacket and shirt with black leather pants, and fine black alligator shoes. Rabbit wore a black silk kimono top with black tux pants, and Prada shoes.
"Shawsey's fever broke," Pooh announced with a mouth full of food. "He's going to pull through."
"Hoorah!" Piglet cried. "Tis wonderful news. I knew you were a good nurse maid."
"This calls for a celebration," said Rabbit.
"Right-o," Ramuegen laughed. "I'll get a round of Jello shots for everyone.
Ramuegen headed towards the open bar.