Alderaan: Two objects roared down from the heavens and smashed into a wooded island just off the coast of the capital city uprooting trees and flinging dirt high into the sky.
Customs: Zoda and Neva Kee were standing in a very long line at customs with all sorts of aliens and humans waiting angrily after having been on such a long trip only for an ever longer wait in customs.
"I can't believe it took us ten minutes to get here and we've been in customs for over three hours," Neva Kee grumbled. Zoda shrugged.
"Anyway, so I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice," he said oblivious to Neva Kee's annoyance at their whole situation. Neva narrowed his eyes and starred at him for a few moments.
"You're an idiot," said Neva Kee finally. Zoda shrugged.
"Just trying to pass the time," he said.
"Yeah well you're making it seem longer than it should be," said Neva Kee.
"Well maybe if you'd made that stupid holocall like you said you were when we landed," began Zoda.
"I would've made that call if you hadn't chopped the only working holoprojector around here in half because it wouldn't accept you counterfeit money!" Neva shot back.
"I'm not going to pay twenty-five credits just to crank call the Jedi Temple! That's outrageous!" Zoda protested.
"And now we're stuck here!" shouted Neva back at him.
"Not for long," said Zoda staring out at the long line in front of them.
"Oh no you don't!" said Neva. "I'm not getting involved of any your crazy plans!"
"Too late," said Zoda. He grabbed a hold of Neva's wrist and headed straight down the line.
"Hi, how're you doing, Jedi Knight walking, nothing to see here, we were ahead of you, oops, you dropped something, you never saw us, thanks for letting us take your place, no thank you," said Zoda as he used the Force to brainwash everyone in line as they finally made their way up to the front.
"Have you anything to declare?" asked the clearly exhausted attendant.
"No we don't," said Neva Kee quickly before Zoda could say anything.
"Welcome to Alderaan, go straight ahead and to your right for a weapon's check and then you're free to go wherever you want," said the man stamping their passports.
"See told you it'd work," said Zoda smugly.
"Halt, cutting in line!" said an automated droid chasing after them.
"Oops, time to go," said Zoda as he grabbed Neva's wrist.
"Wait," began Neva before Zoda tore off out of the room aided by his Force powers. A green and blue blur raced down the hallway and around a corner before flying into the weapons check room and the door slammed shut by an invisible force leaving the droid new choice but to smash into it and leave a droid shaped indent on the door.
"What?" demanded Zoda of everyone who was looking at them funny. Neva Kee just smacked his forehead and the two advanced up to the weapons searcher.
"And you are?" asked the guard as Neva Kee and Zoda handed him their passports.
"I'm Grand Master Z and this Captain N: The Gamemaster!" said Zoda emphatically. Neva looked at him like he'd gone insane as the worker nodded.
"Yes that's confirmed," he said. Neva then looked at the guard like he'd gone mad before receiving his passport back that indicated that was indeed his name. Neva Kee instantly began turning bright red.
"You need to stay out of the sun more," said Zoda. "Otherwise you'll get sunburned."
"Any weapons to declare?" asked the worker trying to diffuse the situation.
"Nope," said Neva Kee also wanting to forget this day was happening. He had a wand passed over him and it came up empty and Neva passed through the gate.
"And you sir?" asked the guard.
"See for yourself," said Zoda opening up his robe.
"Holy-!" shouted one of the officers.
"Oh my God!" shouted the other hiding behind a counter.
"Zoda you bast-," began Neva.
"No cursing on Alderaan!" snapped Zoda. Neva just held his head in pain.
"This is what took you two hours to do when I wanted to leave right the ship right?" asked Neva.
"More or less," said Zoda with a big grin. Inside his robe he was completely packed with over 50 lightsabers crammed around his body and up his sleeves and down his pant legs. Zoda then stood on top of the tray for collecting weapons and suddenly they all came crashing down easily overflowing the tray.
"I expect all of those back when I leave," said Zoda as he pulled out a necklace filled with metal and a decent sized crystal at the very end of the chain.
"What's that?" demanded Neva Kee.
"I'm Grand Master Z," said Zoda. "I need to keep up my image."
"Oh for the love of," began Neva before he growled to the heavens. "Let's go."
"Coming Captain N," Zoda snuck in before the left the room. As soon as they emerged, Neva Kee seemed to calm down.
"So why the aliases?" he asked finally.
"I don't want the Organas to know I'm here," said Zoda.
"Why?" Neva Kee asked confused.
"They tried to kill me!" Zoda shouted.
Elsewhere: An alarm went off and a shadowy figure ran to a vidscreen. On it popped up the words: ZODA IS NEAR.
"Excellent," said the figure. "It begins."
"What?" demanded Neva Kee. "You're crazy!"
"It's true!" said Zoda as they walked down a major street crowded with people.
"When?" said Neva Kee as he fiddled with the tracking device.
"Twenty years ago!" said Zoda. "I was assigned to protect the royal family from assassins and I did. Then when it was over, they turned on me!"
"Zoda, a lot of people have tried to kill you I will admit to that, but never the Organas!" Neva Kee protested.
Royal Castle: The Organas all sat around a long rectangular table that primarily served as where they ate. Each member remained hushed as the King entered into the room and sat down.
"Are the rumors true?" asked Klip Organa, prince to the throne. The King nodded.
"Yes, Zoda has returned to Alderaan," said the King throwing the photos from the customs building onto the table.
"Finally," said the Queen. "At last we will have revenge."
"And I do not intend to see it slip through our fingers. This is what we have been preparing for during the last twenty years. Before this day is over, Zoda will be dead," said the King ominously.
"…And to make a long story short their house burned down," said Zoda. "For some odd reason they took offense to that although why I don't know."
"I heard about that," said Neva. "I had no idea it was because of you though. Then again it's not like it's that much of a surprise either. You know I was one of the first people to express my deep sorrow over what happened. But regardless, the Organas are not capable of harboring grudges."
"In my experience everybody is capable of harboring grudges, from humans to pets to robots," said Zoda as they walked down another street.
"Speaking of robots, what the hell happened back on Chandrilla when I was speaking to that police commissioner? I turn my back for a moment and suddenly robots are littering the entire area," said Neva Kee.
"No comment," said Zoda quickly.
"Not this time. When my life is in danger because of something you did, which almost always happens, I want to know why that is," said Neva Kee stopping and crossing his arms.
"Well like always it involves money," said Zoda.
"Figures," said Neva Kee. "So who do you owe it to this time?"
"On the contrary, it's not who I owe it too, but to whom owes it to me," said Zoda.
"Wait, someone owes you money?" said Neva incredulously. "Who the hell would be that stupid?"
Chandrilla: The gang members who had held up the hotel were sitting around in their jail cell when suddenly a police officer arrived.
"Well it looks like you're free to go, someone paid for your bond," said the officer opening their cell. The gang members looked at themselves confused as they were led to a room off from the rest and were left alone. As the gang members looked around confused, a much larger door opened, and a massive form slid into the room leaving the gang members in shock.
"I don't believe it," said the leader.
"Believe it," said Jabba the Hutt looking at them. "Because I need you to eliminate Zoda once and for all."
Chandrilla: "Jabba that's who," said Zoda. Neva looked at him like he'd gone insane.
"What kind of idiot do you think I am?" he demanded. "First you tell me the Organas are out to kill you and now you tell me that Jabba owes you money? No, I won't believe it, not this time."
"It's all true!" Zoda vainly protested.
"Why would Jabba owe you money? I still think it's the other way around," said Neva.
"First of all Jabba would know better than to owe me money and second of all he owes me one trugut," said Zoda.
"He's going to kill you over one trugut?" said Neva in disbelief.
"You know those Hutts, they can't stand owing anybody anything," said Zoda.
"And he incurred this debt how?" asked Neva Kee crossing his arms.
"A year ago I was sent in to disrupt one of Jabba's 'business ventures'. Anyway I did, and Jabba told me that he was going to have me killed. So I naturally asked him what if I survive? So he bet me one trugut that I'd be dead within a year and it's almost up," said Zoda.
"Why didn't you bet him anything more?" Neva asked.
"I can't afford to pay him if I loose!" said Zoda. Neva's eyes narrowed at that statement.
"What?" asked Zoda bewildered.
"God you're stupid," Neva Kee said finally.
"Say," said Zoda ignoring his last statement. "Was the street always this empty?"
Neva Kee was about to chide him on his changing of the subject when he too noticed the lack of anybody around.
"That is odd," agreed Neva Kee. Then from around a corner marched a phalanx of royal guards.
"Ah the Organas must've finally realized that I was here and sent a royal escort for me," said Neva Kee. But as the guards approached, the each pulled out a sword and thrust it forward at the group.
"Ah so they have heard of you," said Zoda with a smirk.
"Shut up, there's a perfectly logical explanation for this," said Neva.
"Yeah they want us dead," said Zoda.
"This has to be a mistake," said Neva Kee. The guards rushed them swords drawn.
"Yeah that's it, they want to kill the invisible people behind us," said Zoda sarcastically. "Ah to hell with this, let's rock!"
"No wait!" shouted Neva Kee. "You don't even have a weapon!"
"Yes I do," said Zoda. He snapped out his right arm and the grip of his club flew into it and immediately extended outward causing the guards to briefly pause before continuing their advance. Suddenly Neva's grip flew out into Zoda's left hand and extended as well and Zoda was gone. He leapt up in the air and began blocking slash after slash before slamming his clubs against the various soldiers. After a couple minutes the soldiers were all lying around dazed and bruised as Zoda finally landed on his two feet.
"Don't take on a Jedi, boys, weapon or no weapon," said Zoda as the clubs retracted into the grips. As he tossed Neva Kee his grip back, a blaster bolt hit the ground right in front of them throwing dirt and sparks everywhere as one of the dazed guards suddenly produced the weapon.
"No, the Royal Guard would never have weapons!" said Neva Kee as Zoda just rolled his eyes and shook his head in shame.
"You know that's not going to stop me right?" he asked of the guard. The guard just glared at him.
"You do not have any way to defend against this, your lightsabers were confiscated back at customs and not even you can deflect a blaster bolt," said the guard stumbling to his feet.
Zoda nodded. "You're right I can't. But I didn't give up all of my lightsabers."
"You lie," said the guard aiming at him.
"Do I," Zoda challenged as the guard fired at him. But suddenly Zoda's chains ripped off of his neck and were suspended in midair before snapping apart and forming a rod all around the crystal that was the centerpiece of the necklace. The rod then snapped together and flew to Zoda's hand as he hit the button on it and a lightsaber blade shot out the end. Zoda then swung the blade and it easily connected and rush back at the guard hitting his blaster and blowing it to pieces as the guard held his hands in pain. Zoda shut off the blade and walked up to the guard.
"You'll live," he said simply as Neva stared at him in shock.
"You lied to me!" he said.
"No," said Zoda. "I gave them all the weapons I had. An unassembled weapon is not a weapon."
"In your hands anything is a weapon," Neva snorted. Zoda just groaned.
"Let's just find our balls and get the hell out of here," said Zoda starting to walk off. Suddenly several hovercars landed all around them and dozens of guards emerged and surrounded the entire area.
"Oh great, more bucketheads," grumbled Zoda as he brandished his hilt but did not extend the blade.
"You realize you could go to jail for this," said Neva Kee.
"I'm not afraid," said Zoda. Neva looked at him perplexed.
"Aren't you afraid of anything?" he asked.
"Only a fool fears nothing," responded the Jedi. "But fear is the path to the dark side so I just don't think about it."
"And yet that somehow explains your entire outlook on life," observed Neva Kee as a massive hoverlimo landed nearby.
"Shutup!" said Zoda.
"No!" said Neva Kee. "I'm the professional negotiator here and you have no right to talk back to me. So you shutup!"
"Can it!" Zoda shouted back at him as the King exited his limo and advanced towards them. "I'm a Jedi I can deal with this!"
"You're way in over your head," said Neva Kee oblivious to the King's approach.
"I'm the best there ever was," said Zoda. "The best there ever will be."
"If you believe that I have a bridge to sell you," said Neva.
"Ahem," said the King.
"Hey but out!" said Zoda.
"My liege!" said Neva eyes wide as he bowed. Zoda just groaned and rolled his eyes at the display of patronage.
"Ah Neva Kee," said the King also dipping his head. "Who is your friend?"
"You know who I am," said Zoda angrily. "And I know you're out to kill me."
"Oh I assure you I have no intentions of killing anyone," said the King innocently.
"Do the words 'burn in hell' mean anything to you?" asked Zoda.
"No," said the King humbly. "But Neva Kee it is good to see you again. Why did you not contact me sooner?"
"Circumstances led to me being unable to reach a comm. station to talk to you," said Neva as he briefly eyed Zoda who just rolled his eyes. "But it is good to see you."
"And you as well come, come," said the King motioning to his limo. "Please we would be honored to have you and your friend join us for dinner."
"We would be honored," said Neva Kee quickly before Zoda could protest. The King nodded and motioned towards his limo.
"We'll join you later, right now we have some pressing business to attend to," said Neva. The King nodded.
"7:00, don't be late," said the King with a smile as he got into his limo. Instantly a scowl came over his face at the anger of not being able to get rid of Zoda so quickly.
"His time will come, his time will come," thought the King with an evil grin.
Down below Neva Kee and Zoda watched the limo fly off before both breathed a sigh of relief.
"C'mon let's go hit our balls," said Neva walking off. Zoda meanwhile began chuckling furiously.
"What the hell are you laughing at?" demanded Neva Kee.
"Oh nothing," said Zoda with a big grin.
"Cough it up!" Neva shouted. Zoda pulled a license plate out of his robe that read: THEKING.
"Just a little something that caught me eye," said Zoda with an even bigger grin.
"Oy Pah Nagoya!" said Neva before he broke down and started sobbing as Zoda began laughing even harder.
Elsewhere: "Oh I'm so sorry your highness," said the police officer embarrassed. The officer had pulled over the limo because it was missing its rear license plate but he had no idea it was the King's.
"How can I be missing my rear license plate the King demanded?" as he walked to the back of the vehicle with the officer while various other vehicles wizzed by above them, some of their patrons laughing at the King. As they rounded the vehicle they noticed that yes indeed the plate was gone.
"What could've done this?" asked the King. "There are no marks or anything."
"No fingerprints either," said the officer looking through some special glasses.
"You're suggesting that someone managed to take off my license plate without even touching my vehicle!" demanded the King. "I should have you arrested for insanity. No one could possibly do that!"
"Actually sir, I do know of one 'person' who could do that," admitted the officer.
"I command you to tell me," said the King darkly.
"A Jedi sir," said the officer frankly.
"A Jedi?" said the King dumbfounded.
"Yes," said the officer. "A Jedi could use the Force and unscrew your license plate without ever touching your vehicle. Or so I've been told I've never actually seen one myself. But again it's speculation after all why would a Jedi want to humiliate you?"
At this point the King had turned bright red in anger.
"Just, leave before I do something we'll both regret," said the King. The officer nodded but handed him a slip of paper.
"What's this?" asked the King.
"I still have a ticket, sorry sir," said the cop. The King promptly yelled at the heavens as the cop subsequently ran off.
Bay: "What the hell was that?" demanded Neva Kee as they heard the soft roar.
"Heh, heh, heh," laughed Zoda as Neva groaned.
"Nevermind I don't want to know," said Neva.
"Yeah!" agreed Zoda. "Less talking and more rowing!"
The two were in a small rowboat as Neva Kee grunted as he pushed and pulled on the massive paddles.
"We would've been there by now if you hadn't chopped the engine in half," Neva grumbled.
"It wouldn't start," said Zoda. "It got what it deserved."
"For the last time, if something doesn't work you can't just chop it in half! That solves nothing!" Neva Kee protested.
"Well it does solve one thing," Zoda surmised.
"And what's that?" asked Neva.
"Whether or not you're going to get your security deposit back," said Zoda with a grin. Instantly an oar connected with his head and he fell over the side of the boat into the water.
"Help, help!" said Zoda splashing in the water. "I can't swim!"
"Shut up," said Neva knowing it wasn't true. Zoda stopped and looked at him nonplussed.
"You hit me with an oar!" he said as Neva moved away from him.
"You deserved it, find your own way to the island," said Neva.
"Well maybe I…AAAAHHHHH!" shouted Zoda as a massive fish popped up out of the water and swallowed him whole. Neva stopped rowing and looked at the floating fish before consulting his watch.
"3…2….1," he said. A 'shrum' sound was heard and the fish opened it's eyes real wide before it exploded flinging bone, blood, and guts everywhere before Zoda was suddenly propelled back into the boat.
"Well that was fun," he said wiping off his blood smeared face. Neva Kee meanwhile had just dug himself out of a mess of entrails.
"This is why weapons are banned on Alderaan!" he shouted before puking over the side of the boat. Zoda shrugged.
"They're missing out," he said. Neva wiped his mouth before turning to the Jedi angrily.
"Just get us to that island without any more 'incidents'," said the diplomat angrily. Zoda shrugged.
"Yes master," he said condescendingly as the boat lifted up out of the water and rocketed towards the island by a mysterious power.
Chandrilla: Jabba stood there eyeing the gang before him.
"Zoda is currently on Alderaan and I need you to terminate him with extreme prejudice," said the Hutt.
"And in return?" asked the Toecutter, the leader of the gang.
"You are all set free with no prior records in existence," said Jabba. "But if you fail…well just make sure that you don't."
"Hey we haven't agreed to anything!" protested Johnny the boy, the youngest member of the gang.
"Naïve fool, when dealing with a Hutt you simply don't have a choice," said Jabba leaving. "Remember, he's on Alderaan. I await your results."
Johnny was about to go after him when he was stopped by the Nightrider, yet another member of the gang.
"C'mon let's get this over with," said Toecutter snapping a new charge into his blaster rifle. "That imp owes us big time."
Island: "Nice to see we'll be teeing off on less than dangerous circumstances," said Neva Kee looking up into the late afternoon horizon.
"Where to this time Cheech?" asked Zoda also looking up to the sky.
"Kuat," said Neva Kee. "It's the starship capital of the galaxy."
"Oh this out to be good," said Zoda with a grin. Neva sighed and planted his club.
"Don't tell me you pissed off Lord Kuat," said Neva Kee shaking his head. "I to use his repair bays to give my ship a maintenance check."
"Let's just say we've crossed paths," said Zoda. "And surprisingly he does me a favor."
"Let's just tee off before things get worse," Neva Kee grumbled. Zoda grinned and swung his club as the ball went rocketing off. Neva Kee followed suit and both balls vanished into the orange sky.
"So let's go after them," said Zoda excitedly. Neva Kee shook his head.
"No, we have a dinner rendezvous with the King," said Neva Kee.
"Oh well have fun then," said Zoda.
"You're coming too," said Neva.
"Like hell I will," Zoda protested. "He's just using that as an excuse to lure me to my doom."
"Two things, first that's not true. Second, when has Zoda ever backed down from a challenge?" asked Neva as they both got back in the boat.
"So send us back to shore," said Neva.
"No," said Zoda crossing his arms.
"Why not?" demanded Neva Kee.
"Ummm...my midichlorians are tired, that's it!" said Zoda happily.
"Oh shut up," said Neva taking the oars and pushing them off shore. "Midicholrians have nothing to do with the Force and you know it!"
"They are symbiotic life forms that tell us the will of the Force!" Zoda said. "Not even you can deny that."
"And since when have you ever obeyed the will of the Force?" Neva Kee asked mockingly as he rowed out into the bay. Zoda grumbled something before practicing his quick draw with his lightsaber.
"You know you probably shouldn't do that," said Neva Kee as he continued rowing. Zoda shut off his lightsaber and dropped his arms.
"Why?" he asked confused. At that exact moment his finger accidentally brushed the activation trigger and the lightsaber shot out through the bottom of the boat.
"Whoops," said Zoda wide-eyed as water began pouring in through the newly formed hole.
"That's why," said Neva Kee annoyed as he tossed him a small plastic bucket.
"Start bailing," he shouted. The two went at it fiercely.
"Holy sithspit that's a lot of water," said Zoda as they both realized they were fighting a loosing battle.
"Just keep bailing idiot!" said Neva Kee. The front part of the boat started dipping lower into the water as the back end rose up higher and higher.
"Aaah!' shouted Zoda as he past Neva Kee and stood near the end as the big began sinking lower and lower.
"The Titanic had more dignity going down than this," said Neva Kee shaking his head as he held on while the rowboat went almost vertical.
"The what?" Zoda asked confused.
"Forget it," said Neva as he swam free of the boat while Zoda still stood on the end.
"God save the Queen!" shouted Zoda as the boat went under leaving both of them alone floating in the water.
"So now what?" asked Zoda as tranquility spread over the area.
"We start swimming for shore," said Neva Kee moving off.
"Oh, okay," said Zoda swimming alongside him as well.
Silence descended on the two punctuated only by water being churned.
"There goes your security deposit for real this time," said Zoda after a couple moments.
"Well when you name a boat Exxon Valdez you kind of expect it to end badly," Neva Kee responded as they neared the shore. The both dragged themselves onto the shore sopping wet and extremely tired from all of the swimming. The fact that it was now night time and the temperature had dropped didn't help that much either.
"We're never going to be dry in time for meeting the King," said Neva wringing out his sleeves.
"Meh," said Zoda shrugging. "Well ordinarily I wouldn't do this but since I do owe you a boat you're about to see my good deed for the decade."
Zoda yanked out a lighter and flicked it on. He swiped it across the sky and a ball of flame instantly formed thanks to his Force powers. It suddenly enveloped the two of them before dissipating leaving them both a little cooked but otherwise dry.
"Thank you," said Neva. "Not let's go."
"No! I'm not going!" Zoda protested as he stopped walking.
"Yes you are," said Neva Kee grabbing him by the collar and dragging the stubborn Jedi behind him. "You're going and you're going to like it."
"No!"
"Stop acting like a child and come on!" said Neva. At that exact moment the wind whipped around them as the hoverlimo dropped down in front of them.
"Zoda, Neva Kee, I was worried you might be late so I figured I'm come and get you," said the King exiting from the limo. "I heard about your little accident I'm sorry I'm so late."
"Get bent!" said Zoda as Neva Kee continued dragging him into the limo.
"What he means to say is that we'd be happy to uphold your dinner invitation," said Neva before hissing at Zoda. "And you swore you'd follow my commands Zoda. That was the details of our arrangement."
Zoda grumbled something again but sat down in the limo without further protest and a moment later it was off.
Space: A group of intergalactic spacecycles roared out of hyperspace before descending on the planet Alderaan below.
Castle: Zoda and the others sat around the large ceremonial dinner table as exquisite foods were brought before them.
"Not eating?" asked the King when Zoda refused to touch anything.
"No," said Zoda. "But if you want to experience the whole experience of me eating, here's a 'crash' course."
BBBBBBBBBBUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPP!
Before Neva Kee could protest Zoda let loose with a massive belch seemingly enhanced by his Force powers that flung all the dishes off of the table effectively leveling the place.
"There," said Zoda wiping his hands. "Or should I say tada? Either way my buddy Kirby would be proud."
With that he leaned back in his chair and whistled as the others looked at him shell shocked.
"So anyway Neva what brings you to our fair planet?" asked the King trying to make small talk.
"Oh just passing through," said Neva. "Checking out the sights, the local flavoring, you know how it is."
"I see, and how exactly did you come to need the protection of a Jedi Knight?" asked the King.
"Diplomacy is a dangerous business and I need the most dangerous Jedi to protect me. But the strange thing is, is that he seems insistent that you mean to kill him," said Neva Kee drinking some water.
"But I am trying to kill him," said the King. Neva Kee did an immediate spit take.
"What? Why?" he asked.
"Didn't you tell him?" asked the King to Zoda. Zoda just shrugged.
"He didn't believe me," responded the Jedi.
"In defending our home from assassins he managed to get it burned to the ground and for that he must die," said the King. "We've sworn a blood oath to it and if it is in our power ever generation of Organa will do their best to eliminate him."
"Yeah," said Zoda. "But in the end I did warn them it was a bad decision to hole up in their house."
"No you did not," said the King. "You said it was the perfect place to hide."
"You may have deluded yourself into believing that, but it's not true," said Zoda.
"Why you-!" began the King.
"Look," said Zoda. "Can we just get this over with I have lot to do."
"Very well," agreed the King before he snapped his fingers. Instantly twenty guards filed into the room and stood around the table.
"You expect these bucketheads to defeat me?" Zoda asked as his lightsaber flipped on along with his club extending outward. In response all of the guards extended lightsabers as well, lightsabers that had been confiscated from Zoda at the beginning of their trip.
"Not on their own, no," admitted the King. "However, know this, their armor is made up of cortosis ore meaning your lightsaber will never cut through them."
"I expected that," said Zoda as he levitated an apple towards him. "But even the ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the…"
Instantly the apple dropped down onto the table. Zoda looked at it confused and tried to call it to him but couldn't.
"We also obtained a ysalamiri to block your Force powers," said the King as a ysalamiri in a cage with a nutrient feeding tube was brought into the room.
"Okay that I wasn't anticipating," Zoda admitted.
CRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
However at that exact moment stained glass flew everywhere as several spacebikes came roaring into the banquet hall.
"And that strangely enough I was," said Zoda as he ducked under the table as the Toecutter's gang opened fire on everything in sight with the Organas and the guards firing back. Underneath he met up with Neva Kee.
"You know I gotta hand it to you," said Zoda. "This dinner was more exciting than I thought it would be."
"I'm glad you approve," said Neva sarcastically as he covered his head as more glass fell everywhere along with the roar of motorbikes and laserfire. Son explosions began going off blasting pieces of stone all over the place.
"You know what to do," said Zoda standing up and taking out his saber.
"What about that ysalamiri?" asked Neva as he pressed the beacon call on his wristwatch. At that moment a large explosion split the table in two causing it to collapse inwards.
"No longer a problem," said Zoda running off. He leapt over the side of the table with his lightsaber and began deflecting laser bolts left and right. He then dodged a couple of stray lightsaber swings before the firing abruptly stopped.
"Look!" shouted the King to the Toecutter. "Can we at least kill Zoda and then shoot ourselves later?"
"Yeah I guess so," said the Toecutter. They all aimed their weapons at Zoda who just laughed.
"You can't defeat me," he said with a grin.
"Yes we can Mary-Sue," said Toecutter aiming his gun at him. Zoda just shook his head and threw off his robe revealing dozens of small metallic disks all around his jumpsuit underneath.
"What the?" asked the King confused. Zoda grinned even larger as suddenly every lightsaber in the room flew towards him and ignited.
"No!" said the Toecutter as every lightsaber attached to a single saucer on his jumpsuit resulting in Zoda being nearly covered with lightsabers all extending outwards.
"Just a little something I cooked up for a situation like this," Zoda explained.
"Fire!" shouted the King. Dozens of laser blasts flew out at the flourescant Jedi but all were reflected by either Zoda's pair of dueling sabers he had reacquired or the various lightsabers around his body.
"Heh, heh, heh," he laughed. The Toecutter growled and grabbed a piece of armor laying around and hopped on his bike and raced straight at him.
"Die Jedi!" he shouted. But before his bike could connect with the Jedi it froze in midair. As Zoda stood there straining to keep the bike still the Toecutter flung the piece of cortosis ore at him. Zoda could barely divert enough energy to barely change it's course from hitting him, but it connected with some of the lightsabers on his back shorting them out.
"Oh great," said Zoda looking at his back. Unfortunately that diversion caused him to loose grip on the bike and it plowed into him despite having the front end melted by his still activated sabers. The Toecutter wrestled with the bike, thanks to its now damaged steering system, as it went roaring around the banquet hall as both sides opened fire trying to hit the now exposed Jedi. Zoda meanwhile was struggling to free himself from the bike when suddenly a laser bolt ricocheted off of a lightsaber and smashed into the fuel tank.
"Oh no," Zoda and the Toecutter said. The bike exploded flinging both in different directions and lighting the whole place on fire.
"Not again!" shouted the King. At that moment Zoda's rear lightsabers reactivated and soon fire leapt up everywhere along with smoke.
"Well Kee time to go," said Zoda. Neva Kee appeared from underneath the table and moved steadily towards the window before the King blocked their path.
"You're not going anywhere," shouted the King over the raging inferno as everyone else ran for the exits.
"Yes we are," said Zoda. "Now get out of my way."
"No," said the King producing a sword.
"You expect that to stop me?" asked Zoda confused.
"It's also made of cortosis ore," said the King happily. Zoda just held his head in disgrace as all of his lightsabers deactivated and moved into their clips around his bodysuit as he put back on his robe. The King meanwhile executed a lengthy sword display despite the fact that the whole area was burning to the ground around him. The King then finished with his sword pointed straight at Zoda.
"What do you have to say to that?" demanded the King. Zoda sighed and shook his head in disgrace before pulling out a blaster and shooting him.
"Idiot," said Zoda putting the gun away.
"You didn't kill him did you?" asked Neva.
"Not in a story rated K+ I didn't," said Zoda. "He's stunned."
Zoda then used the Force to levitate the King down the side of the building and laid him carefully on the ground before Force slapping him awake.
"Let's fly," said Zoda.
"Oh I hate this part," said Neva shaking his head. The two leapt out the side of the building and went falling down the side before Neva's ship rocketed underneath and scooped them both up before taking off towards the stratosphere. Inside Zoda and Neva Kee made their way to the cockpit.
"Any sign of pursuit?" Zoda asked. Laser blasts tore up the space around the ship as the remaining bikers and Alderaan police force chased after them.
"Does that answer your question?" Neva Kee asked.
"I dunno, does it?" Zoda asked. Neva smacked him on the shoulder.
"Ow! Heh, heh, heh," laughed the Jedi.
"Just pull the coordinates for Kuat from the navicomputer," said Neva Kee as he worked to avoid the laser blasts. Zoda shrugged and manually entered them in.
"Just like that?" Neva Kee asked. "No checking the navicomputer?"
"Let's just say this isn't the first time I've had to run from Alderaan to Kuat before," said Zoda simply.
"Alright then," said Neva Kee. "Punch it!"
The ship blasted off into hyperspace leaving the ragtag fleet behind.
"What now?" asked Johnny the boy.
"It's not over yet," said the Nightrider. "We'll track them and eliminate them. No one makes a fool of us."