Anguirus111 Note: The order of the planets that Zoda and Neva Kee are going to, does have an order because they're somewhat spiraling outside of the center of the galaxy in a way(according to the galactic maps out there). What's ultimately happening is they're going to make a major detour and pass through some other planets including Tatooine before heading down the line of planets from Hoth to Bespin to Dagobah, etc. and will probably end up in the unknown regions making this a long story. Oh yeah, you want to know what a YT-2000 looks like play X-Wing Alliance.
Kuat: Two golf balls emerged from hyperspace and went flying towards the massive Kuat Drive Yards. In the control room 40 year old Lord Kuat, the latest family member to inherit control of the yards, entered as the alarms rang out.
"How come you did not detect them sooner?" demanded Kuat.
"They emerged from hyperspace!" a technician exclaimed. "Small objects simply do not do that! It has to be an attack!"
"Calm down," said Kuat. "Get me a visual, what are they?"
An image on the viewscreen popped up of the two objects soaring towards them.
"They're small white and dimpled and don't have much mass," said the technician. The viewscreen zoomed in on the two objects revealing them in greater detail.
"Oh I know what those are," said Kuat. "Granted I am surprised I'd see them in space, but I guess I should've expected it. Where're they coming from?"
"Alderaan," said the technician. Kuat nodded.
"Very good," he said. "Listen, in a few moments a ship should be coming out of hyperspace with the occupant requesting to see me. Give him clearance and tell him I'll be waiting."
"What about the two objects?" asked the technician.
"Are they going to hit the yards?" Kuat asked.
"No," responded the technician. "But they will impact with the planet somewhere along the Key Peninsula."
"Well as long as they don't hit a populated area let them go," said Kuat. "And if you touch them I'll have you eliminated."
With that he left and a couple hours later a blue ship emerged from hyperspace.
Neva Kee's ship: "Ah good ol' KDY, perhaps the only place left in the galaxy that I can find refuge at," said Zoda as the ship reverted to realspace.
"I must admit to being surprised at that, the Kuats aren't known for their hospitality…or their lack of xenophobia," said Neva Kee a little nervously.
"This Kuat's an okay kind of guy," said Zoda as he pulled the ship towards a checkpoint consisting of a pair of Firespray attack ships. "Besides his family owes me much more than any xenophobia could override."
"Such as?" asked Neva Kee as he prepared to transmit his ship's ID to the Firesprays.
"I started a war for them," said Zoda simply. Neva looked at him wide-eyed as Zoda laughed.
"It's not like that," said Zoda. "A few years back I pissed off the Intergalactic Banking Clan on Munillist so they bought a bunch of ships from them to try and kill me. Well eventually they simmered down but the Kuats were extremely grateful for my meddling so they could finally surpass the people at Bilbringi and Fondor."
"Oh, well as long as no one died," said Neva Kee.
"Pacifist," said Zoda sticking his tongue out at him as the ship stopped between the two Firesprays. Neva Kee didn't bother to respond as Neva Kee transmitted his data.
"Purpose for visit?" asked a voice over the comm.
"We're here to see Lord Kuat," said Zoda. Silence descended on the comm. before both of the Firespray's opened fire as Zoda grinned and hit the accelerator. The ship roared forward as the ships pursued it.
"Your friend huh?" asked Neva Kee buckling himself in.
"He's just testing my flying abilities," said Zoda as he twisted the ship into a corkscrew and flew between a pair of heavy cruisers. A few more gut wrenching twists and dives and the ship headed straight towards a Golan III platform spitting fire at them. Zoda threw the ship into a tight spin as he headed for the thing.
"Does this thing have any weapons?" asked Zoda as the laser blasts began hitting the forward shields.
"None that you would know how to operate," said Neva Kee ominously. "And none that wouldn't result in the destruction of that Golan III, shields and all."
"You lie," said Zoda not sure what to think.
"I'm a diplomat, I don't do that," said Neva Kee. "You're thinking of a politician, they're not the same."
"But I though diplomacy involves making the impossible, possible," said Zoda as he continued twisting the ship around and around.
"Yes it is," said Neva Kee trying not to hurl when looking at the spinning Golan platform.
"But isn't it also said that 'politics is the art of the possible'?" asked Zoda. Neva's eyes went wide as he heard that.
"How did you know that?" he demanded. Zoda shrugged as the ship roared through the empty center bay of the platform before instantly setting down.
"I picked up a radio signal on my Delta-1 when I was trying to tune it to the right radio station and there was some guy saying that stuff," said Zoda as he powered down the ship.
"Interesting," said Neva Kee. "I didn't realize the signal went both ways."
"Huh?" asked Zoda confused as they disembarked the ship.
"Just forget it," said Neva Kee before he dove to the deck as laser blasts flew overhead as the two Firespray's entered into the docking tube blazing hot plasma.
"Excuse me a moment," said Zoda stepping out into the open of the virtually empty bay. Both of his dueling sabers shot out and he began deflecting the laser blasts left and right before swinging both sabers so that the blades were pointed behind him as he threw up his hands and suddenly both Firespray's slammed into the deck flinging debris everywhere before grounding to a halt.
"Well let's go," said Zoda putting his sabers away. Neva Kee brushed himself and together the two headed for a doorway while the pilots of the two other vessels dragged themselves out of their ships and lay panting on the floor. Zoda and Neva Kee entered into a cargo bay on the side and instantly a massive chain with a hook on the end came swinging down right at them from above. Time seemed to slow down for Neva Kee as the chain seemed to move slower and slower until it stopped right next to Zoda's head. But time hadn't stopped, the chain had as Zoda hopped onto the hook and time sped up again as the chain continued its arc around the room before swinging back on the other side of the room where Zoda's lightsaber shot out and cut through a battle droid emerging from the other side of the room before Zoda hopped off as the chain embedded itself in the far wall. As Zoda shook his head to restore his equilibrium, an individual appeared clapping his hands.
"Very good, very good I expected nothing less from you," said the individual. Zoda walked up to the tall individual in a business outfit and held out his fist.
"How's it going Lord Cumquat," said Zoda. Lord Kuat held out his fist as well.
"Long time no see…Grand Master Z," said Kuat as the two tapped fists.
"So how's business?" asked Zoda as they two advanced towards Neva Kee.
"Terrible, this era of peace is wreaking havoc on business," said Kuat. "I sell and make warships not diplomatic vessels. Ugh, this was not what Kuat was created for!"
"But isn't peace just prep time for warfare?" asked Zoda with a grin.
"Six hundred years of 'preparation' is a bit much don't you think?" asked Kuat shaking his head.
"I wouldn't know," said Zoda as they stopped next to Neva Kee.
"Care to start a war for me again?" asked Kuat with a smirk.
"Sorry but I'm already busy with other things," said Zoda putting away his lightsabers.
"Ah yes, no doubt it has something to do with those golf balls that appeared nearby a couple hours back," Kuat surmised. Zoda nodded and Kuat shrugged.
"Greetings Lord Kuat," said Neva Kee as he reached out his hand. "I am Neva Kee and it is an honor to meet you."
Lord Kuat looked down at the little blue alien with disdain and contempt.
"Who is this?" Kuat asked to Zoda.
"He's Neva Kee, esteemed diplomat, he's cool," said Zoda. "A beat preachy but otherwise an okay kinda guy. You mind giving his ship a tune up while we're here?"
"Okay," said Kuat finally. "But only because you seem to have so much faith in him. So what brings you here?"
"Running from King Koopa again," said Zoda as Neva Kee left upset at being spited.
"You and those Alderaanians," said Kuat shaking his head. "Well I can't blame you they're hardly my friends either. So who else are you running from?"
"Jabba," said Zoda. "Somehow I suspect the Organas and the Armalite Gang who Jabba sent after me might come after me again."
"If they come here we'll deal with them," said Kuat. "Anything else you need?"
"Just a ride to the surface," said Zoda simply. Kuat nodded.
"Bay Twelve has a Corellian YT-2000 freighter, take that," said Kuat. Zoda nodded, bowed and left. He met up with Neva Kee who was glaring angrily at the wall.
"Let's go blue boy," said Zoda emanating false optimism as Neva Kee's brooding.
"I hate this planet I should never have come here," said Neva Kee. "The xenomorphism drives me mad."
"Well let's just go and be done with it," said Zoda. "Then we can leave in peace."
"Kuat controls the yards but even he cannot completely control the planet below," said Neva Kee. "We can only expect trouble that not even a negotiator can deal with."
"And that is why the Jedi exist," said Zoda with a grin as headed for Bay Twelve. "We go where even diplomats fear to tread."
"Or just simply know better," said Neva beginning to smile.
"Let's rock," said Zoda as they entered into the bay while behind them Kuatian technicians began tuning up the ambassador's ship. An instant later the YT-2000 came roaring out of the bay before sideswiping one of the side wall and blasting off towards the planet below.
"Good ol' Corellian Engineering Corporation technology," said Zoda in the forward pilot's seat before taking the ship into another spin. "It just can't be beat."
"I'm sure Lord Kuat would be disappointed to hear you say that," said Neva Kee keeping his eyes closed to avoid hurling; he was currently seating above and behind Zoda in the copilot's seat. "KDY is trying to break into the starfighter market."
"Yeah and they're dissecting every ship they can get their hands on too," said Zoda as the ship plunged into the atmosphere of Kuat amidst a massive electrical storm assaulting the capital.
"Hmmm, I guess their weather controller is on the fritz," said Zoda as lightning bolts flew past their ship.
"Shouldn't we set down?" asked Neva Kee. "This is bad flying weather for any ship."
"Nonsense," said Zoda. "See, there's the capital city in the distance, we'll be fine."
Suddenly a lightning bolt slammed into the ship frying all the power.
"Whoops," said Zoda. Neva Kee just slapped his forehead as the ship suddenly found itself hurtling towards the ground.
"Great, just great," said Neva Kee annoyed.
"Meh, nothing a little backup generator can't fix," said Zoda hitting a button on his panel. But to his dismay nothing happened.
"Ummm," he said unsure. Neva shook his head.
"No power?" he asked.
"I don't understand," said Zoda unbuckling himself and heading for the rear cargo hold. "That should've worked."
The two advanced into the cargo hold and Zoda removed a panel revealing an empty space filled with loose wire.
"Oh. Well I guess that explains that," said Zoda wiping of his hands.
"No backup generator, huh?" said Neva exasperated. "Well that's just great!"
"Guess KDY tech's took it out to examine it but forgot to put it back in. Course given our current string of luck this can hardly come as a surprise," said Zoda heading back for the cockpit.
"Yeah I guess you're right," admitted Neva Kee as both buckled themselves into the cockpit as the ground was almost right in front of them. Zoda grabbed the intercom to the rest of the ship and flipped it on.
"This is your captain speaking and we've nearly reached our destination. We hope you've enjoyed our flight and thank you for flying with ZOD airlines," said Zoda.
"Zoda?" asked Neva Kee as the Jedi hung the comm. back on its holster.
"Yeah?" asked Zoda as the ship began taking out the tops of the taller trees.
"I want a refund," said the ambassador finally as the ship plowed into the ground flinging dirt, mud, and trees everywhere.
A couple hours later: Sunlight streamed into the forest and along the trail of destruction left by the crashed YT-2000. Along one of the top maintenance hatches, a squeaking and groaning was heard before a blade of energy shot out and made a circle around the hatch. A couple seconds later and it went flying upwards into the sky before landing nearby.
"Ah fresh air!" said Zoda breathing in the morning air. "No more of that recycled crap."
He hopped off of the right mandible as Neva Kee followed suit. A couple small fires were burning themselves out on the scorched hull but Neva Kee was thankful the whole forest hadn't gone up in flames.
"Well let's go," said Neva Kee trundling off. Zoda meanwhile was looking at the scorched hatch when he heard that comment.
"Where to?" asked Zoda confused.
"To the capital city so we can acquire a transporter to reach out golf balls and then get ourselves back into orbit," said Neva Kee.
"Cool," said Zoda Force flicking the hatch over his shoulder. The hatch flew over end over end before embedding itself into a tree. Unfortunately the end of the hatch was still smoldering from Zoda's lightsaber and as such the tree burst into flames which quickly spread to all the other trees in the area.
"Say," said Zoda after a couple moments. "Do you smell something burning?"
"It's probably nothing," said Neva Kee not bothering to turn around but breaking out into a run pursued by Zoda. The forest meanwhile continued going up in flames as several firefighting speeders appeared and then the fire reached the YT-2000 causing it to blow up creating a massive enough seismic tremor to fling Zoda and Neva Kee off of their feet as the fire closed in on them.
Several hours later: Two burnt and crispy creatures emerged from the woods and straight into the capital city of Kuat as in the far background the last vestiges of the fire were being put out. Zoda coughed and black smoke emerged from his mouth before he immediately covered it in embarrassment. Neva Kee just shook his blackened head and smacked Zoda upside the head.
"Idiot," said the negotiator. "Now we're in a xenophobic society with no cash, no weapons, and having just started the greatest forest fire in this planet's history."
"Just like on Kuan Dar," said the Jedi with a big grin as more smoke began pouring out of his mouth upon which he promptly covered up his mouth again.
The negotiator groaned. "Don't remind me."
The negotiator tossed Zoda a small plastic container.
"Take a breath mint," said Neva Kee waving his hand in front of his face. "You smell...more so than usual I might add."
Zoda shrugged nonchalantly. "I guess using my Force powers to suck in all that smoke to give us some more air to breath was probably a little short sighted."
"I should say so," said Neva Kee as the two advanced down the metropolitan street with more than a few odd looks from the inhabitants.
"I'd never thought I'd ever say this," said Neva Kee a little nervous and embarrassed. "But do you have any working lightsabers on you?"
Zoda pulled out a single charred hilt.
"This is the only one I brought with me but unfortunately it's power core overheated and it's going to take at least a few hours for it to finally cool down to be usable, otherwise if I turn it on it'll explode," said the Jedi.
"Are there any Jedi that you know about on this planet?" asked the negotiator.
"None that I know of, course even if there were I don't think they'd want to have anything to do with me," said Zoda.
"Great," said Neva Kee as the walked down another path. "How good are your Force powers?"
"I'm exhausted," admitted Zoda. "I probably haven't slept since we began this jaunt making that somewhere near 46 hours."
"46 hours and I've already been put through hell three times," said Neva Kee before adding. "You're slipping Z, it should've been at least ten by now."
"Yeah sorry about that, but I was exiled on Coruscant for twenty years following that incident on Alderaan so I've been out of practice. But I guarantee to make thing better…or is it worse…better?" said Zoda confused.
"Just don't do anything that'll get us killed," Neva Kee added as he turned down another busy street again to more disgusted looks by the inhabitants.
"So where're we going?" asked Zoda confused. "It's been awhile since I've been on Kuat's surface to know where we are."
"We're headed for the local branch of the Galactic Bank so I can access some funds if all goes well," said Neva Kee.
"Meaning?" asked the Jedi. The negotiator sighed.
"Remember what you said about our recent string of luck? Somehow I see it tugging at us again sometime in the near future," he said and then stopped talking as silence descended on the two travelers.
Galactic Bank: Keira Kiley, a twenty-five year old business major, was sitting bored behind the teller's stand as she waited for somebody to show up. She knew that working in a bank wasn't the most exciting profession out there, but she hoped that at least one exciting thing would happen in her life. After all she had transferred here from Coruscant in the hope of that but so far nothing.
"Hopefully I'll get a transfer to some interesting planet like Corellia or something," she thought with a grin before her thoughts returned to the present as the bell rang indicating the door opening. Or to be precise the door blew open thank to an unknown force and some wind blew in as two short aliens strode in, one blue the other with long ears and from the looks of things they were in a mild argument.
"Now let me do the talking," said blue.
"Why?" demanded long ears.
"I don't want any mind tricks you hear?" said blue.
"Bah humbug," said long ears.
"That and you're broke," added blue as they advanced to Keira.
"It's not my fault the council revoked my spending datachit," long ears protested.
"You used it for personal expenses when trying to build that quantum tri-fecta lightsaber," said blue. "Where is that anyway?"
"Ah the council impounded the thing for being too deadly for a Jedi to possess. That and they can't understand how it works, course neither do I but still," said long ears as they got to the teller booth.
"How may I help you?" asked Keira.
"I'm here to make a transfer-withdrawal please," said blue as long ears began playing with a nearby pen that was attached by a wire to its base.
"My I have your identification please?" asked Keira.
"You don't need to see his identification," said long ears waving his hand before blue smacked his hand down.
"I told you to cut it out!" shouted blue.
"Sorry," said long ears with a grin. "I guess you'd call it a 'Force' of habit? Wha, ha, ha, ha."
Long ears began laughing hysterically as Keira raised an eyebrow. Blue just held his head in agony.
"He's lacking a few marbles," Blue tried to explain.
"Clearly," said Keira ignoring the courtesy pledge the bank had. Blue produced his ID card.
"My name is Neva Kee and my insane companion here is Zoda," said the diplomat. "We're passing through and our temporary transport gave out on us so I we just need some quick cash. 2,000 creds out to be enough and please put it on a single chit."
"Well that shouldn't be too difficult," said Keira as she pressed a button and a droid went to go get the appropriate chit.
"So how's the banking business?" asked Neva.
"Depends, how's diplomacy?" asked Keira. Neva looked at Zoda who was wiping tears from his eyes.
"Overrated," he said simply. "And thanks for being so courteous most Kuati aren't towards aliens."
"I'm not Kuati that's why," explained Keira. Neva Kee nodded.
"You're Coruscanti aren't you?" he said.
"How did you know that?" asked Keira impressed. The diplomat shrugged.
"I do a lot of traveling and after awhile you begin to get a feel for where people come from," he said.
"I wish I could travel more," Keira sighed. "It seems like a lot of fun. Course today's my last day before a three week vacation but I think I'll just go back home rather than go anywhere else."
"Yeah I use to think traveling was fun also. And then I met this joker here and everything changed," said Neva Kee pointing to Zoda.
"Hey!" Zoda protested as the bell rang again indicating the door opening. The trio looked at the entrance to see several gruff and angry men enter with laser blasters.
"Oh no," said Zoda as Neva Kee looked at him suspiciously before recognizing the extremely large and muscled man with a metal hockey mask on his face.
"Lord Humungus," thought Neva Kee before saying. "Oh crap not another Armalite Gang."
"Greetings from the Humungus, the lord humungus, the warrior of the wasteland, the ayatollah of rock and rollah!" exclaimed Toady, one of Humungus' lackeys.
"Hey Humungo what up?" asked Zoda as he put on his shades.
"You made a fool of the Nightrider's gang back on Alderaan and he informed us of Jabba's desire to have you killed and we can't help but be willing to oblige him," said Humungus as the rest of the gang aimed their blasters at him.
"Is that all?" asked Zoda unconvinced. Humungus shrugged.
"I guess we're also here to rob the bank," he admitted. Zoda nodded and stepped aside.
"Knock yourself out," he said.
"Zoda!" Neva Kee shouted.
"What?" demanded the Jedi. "I'm hardly in a position to refuse."
"You do have a lightsaber," said Neva Kee. Zoda rolled his eyes and took out his hilt.
"Stop, stop, I have a lightsaber if you come any closer I'll be forced to use it," said Zoda completely monotone with no power behind his words.
"Yeah we know it doesn't work," said Wez, another member of the gang. Zoda looked at Neva Kee.
"See? Told you," he said putting the hilt back on his belt. Neva Kee groaned.
"What about your grip?" asked Neva Kee. Zoda pulled it out and looked at it.
"Well I guess I can use this," he said. He held out his left hand and Neva Kee slapped his grip into his other hand.
"Hey guys," said Zoda from behind Humungus gang.
"Yeah?" they asked turning around.
"Let's rock," said Zoda holding out his two grips.
"You sure?" they asked.
"I'm a Jedi and I've got my shades on, I don't lie," said Zoda looking at them through the darkened lenses. As if to emphasize this, the two clubs shot out of their grips and angled out from his body.
"Let's go dear," said Neva Kee hurrying Keira out of the room.
"But he needs our help," said Keira producing a Blastech 4-11 Blaster.
"Impressive," admitted Neva Kee as he continued pushing her into the back. "But he's best on his own for right now. If he fails then we can intercede."
Zoda meanwhile was hurtling through the air avoiding all the laser blasts while using his clubs to smack various body parts of the gang.
"You guys put up a better fight when I had my lightsabers," said Zoda disgusted as he was standing on top of the ceiling fan.
"Yeah well back then you weren't always running from us. You've become a coward without them," said Humungus. Zoda growled.
"No one calls me a coward!" he shouted as he dropped towards Humungus only to get a spinning heel kick to the side and went flying off and smashed into a nearby wall causing several boxes to fall on him from above.
"How predictable," said Humungus as the group advanced towards him blasters drawn. "Always rushing into danger and getting pummeled."
Zoda sat up and looked dazed and confused. "Last call already?"
He fell back over as the gang rolled their eyes.
"Let's just wax him and be done with it," said Wez. Humungus nodded and they aimed their blasters at the Jedi.
"Freeze!" shouted Keira as she reappeared from behind the counter with her blaster. The gang looked at her annoyed.
"Put that weapon away and just leave we have no business with you," said Toadie.
"Well I have business with you and it's against company policy to have a patron killed," said Keira simply. Neva Kee appeared and sat on the end of the teller stand.
"Better do what she says, those banker types can get extremely crazy sometimes," he said simply. Before the gang could respond, several armed soldiers entered into the room with weapons drawn and tackled the gang and promptly arrested them.
"Alright get them outta here," said the lead officer.
"Finally, you get what you paid for," said Zoda. "Law enforcement that actually is competent."
"Which is why you two aliens are under arrest," said the police chief cuffing Zoda's left wrist and Neva Kee's right wrist together.
"What?" demanded Zoda, Neva Kee, and Keira.
"They're aliens and that automatically makes them suspects under Kuati Law," said the officer.
"But I'll vouch for them," Keira protested.
"One of them is a Jedi meaning that he probably mind tricked you, sorry ma'am," said the officer. "Well let's go you two, off to jail."
Neva Kee and Zoda both glanced at each other as they sending a silent message to each other and both nodded.
"Officer you are aware that what you are doing is illegal right?" asked Neva Kee.
"Probably, but you have no real rights here so I could care less," said the officer. The two golf clubs nearby on the ground began twitching.
"Just wanted to make sure you knew that," said the negotiator. "And I'm afraid we won't be coming with you because the law clearly no longer applies here. Goodbye officer."
The two clubs sailed through the air into Neva Kee's left hand and Zoda's right hand and both leapt through the air in prearranged patterns and began yanking officers off their feet left and right.
"Just like at Kuan Dar alright," said Neva Kee as he swung his right arm forward and Zoda swung out kicking an officer in the chest who went flying off.
"Let's blow this joint," said Neva Kee. "And preferably not in the literal sense."
"The teller was nice to us I'm not in the mood for causing collateral damage just yet," said Zoda. As the two ran for the door Zoda yanked out his free hand and the chit flew from Keira's counter and into his hand.
"So long ma'am," said Neva Kee as they exited the door. "Hope this gave you some excitement without leaving home."
Before Keira could respond the two tore off down the city street and into one of the many alleyways.
"After them!" shouted the lead officer as he held his head in pain from a golf club to the forehead.
"This really stinks you know that," said Keira. The officer just shook his head.
"This doesn't concern you civilian," he said angrily before leaving with his troops. Keira just shook her head as her replacement appeared and looked at the place confused.
"You'll have to deal with this, I'm going on vacation," she said grabbing her bag and leaving.
"Have fun," said the replacement looking at the damaged shelf and the fallen boxes as he sighed and began cleaning up.
Alleyway: Neva Kee and Zoda ran down another alleyway before Zoda collapsed.
"I'm exhausted," he complained. "I can't keep this up for much longer!"
"Use the Force and replenish your muscles," said Neva Kee. "But we have to keep moving."
"The Force aids me but even it can't compensate for genuine lack of sleep," Zoda grumbled.
"Maybe if you didn't get us into trouble everywhere we went this wouldn't be an issue," said Neva Kee as a pair of spinners roared by overhead.
"Yeah but where's the fun in that?" Zoda asked grinning. Neva Kee groaned.
"So what's the plan esteemed Jedi?" he asked.
"I thought you had one," said Zoda worried. Neva Kee sighed.
"Yes once again I have a plan to bail us out of this," said the diplomat.
"Oh thank God," said Zoda relieved. "So what is it?"
"We secure a transport, go tee off, and then run off back to that Golan and get the hell out of here before the authorities catch us," said Neva Kee.
"And how're we gonna do that?" asked Zoda.
"By stealing a transport," said Neva Kee simply. "Hopefully you should be up to that task."
"I dunno stealing with your approval does exactly have the same thrill," said Zoda nonplussed.
"Does getting thrown in jail with me sound any better?" asked Neva.
"Nope, guess you're right. Well let's be off," said Zoda. Instantly the chain jerked tight and Zoda's feet came out from under him.
"Ow! What was that for?" he said. Neva Kee held up his wrist.
"Cut through this first," he said.
"With what?" Zoda asked bewildered.
"Your lightsaber," said Neva Kee annoyed.
"I can't the power cell is still too hot," said Zoda holding up the handle. "If I turn it on now the thing'll explode and they I'll be out of a lightsaber."
"Dunk it in some water then," said Neva Kee.
"And have it short out leaving us having to wait even longer for the thing to dry out? Forget it!" said Zoda. Neva Kee growled.
"How long until you can use it safely?" asked Neva.
"An hour maybe two at the most," said Zoda. "But that still doesn't solve the fact that I am exhausted and if I don't get some sleep I'm liable to pass out at an inopportune moment."
Suddenly bright lights streamed into the alley as a pair of Spinners hovered overhead.
"Freeze criminals!" said a voice.
"Well it'd better not be now," said Neva Kee as he ran off with Zoda in pursuit. Zoda meanwhile used the Force to fling a garbage can up into the sky as it slammed into one of the Spinners causing it to loose altitude and crash into the roof of a nearby building.
"Quit goofing off and come on!" said Neva Kee. Zoda nodded but was acting even more sluggish than before. Neva Kee sighed as he realized that he too was slowing down as both reached the other end of the alleyway and stood looking out at the street beyond uncertainly. Then suddenly a hovercar roared to a halt in front of them and the door opened.
"Looks like you guys could use a lift," said Keira. Neva Kee and Zoda looked at her wide-eyed, neither having expected this turn of events.
"What choice do we have? If she turns us in at least she'll get a reward and I'll get some sleep," said Zoda. Neva Kee nodded as both got in and she sped off leaving the police scene behind.
"Thanks," said Neva Kee as the car finally pulled away with no sign of pursuit.
"You saved me, it's the least I could've done," said Keira as she turned down another road.
"We also put you in danger," said Neva Kee as Zoda closed his eyes and was soon fast asleep. "That gang came because of us."
"Or they could've been preparing to break into the bank already it's just that you being there was simply a fortunate coincidence," said Keira.
"Maybe," Neva Kee admitted. "But even so, you're on vacation shouldn't you be heading back to Coruscant?"
"I don't know if I am going back to Coruscant," admitted Keira. "But at the very least I want to help you with whatever you came here to do."
"But you don't know," said Neva Kee. "For all you know we're deadly criminals who have come here to cause anarchy."
"Somehow I don't see the Galactic Bank having accounts for credit risks and your profession is listed as ambassador and I don't things on Kuat have fallen that greatly to warrant a change in government," said Keira.
"Maybe not yet," Neva Kee grumbled.
"Hmm?" she asked. Neva Kee waved her off.
"You know if you could just let us out here that'd be great," said the negotiator.
"What?" Keira asked confused. "Why?"
"Yeah why?" asked Zoda poking up an eyelid.
"I don't want her to get in as much trouble as we are in right now. She's clearly worked hard for this vacation and I refuse to take it away from her," said the negotiator.
"Well the thing is, is that the bank states that we must have 100 customer satisfaction and I don't think I got that from you two," said Keira with a grin.
"You did from me," said Neva Kee quickly.
"Mr. Zoda?" Keira asked. Zoda looked thoughtful as Neva Kee glared at him.
"Well I think you were a little slow in getting us that chit and in the end I had to get it myself. So I'd say I'm 99.9 satisfied," said the Jedi with a grin.
"Oh darn," said Keira. "And how can I make up that .1?"
"A lift to the southern peninsula ought to do it," said Zoda.
"Then to the south we go," she said as Neva Kee sighed.
"I'm gonna get you for this," he said. Zoda shrugged.
"Add it to the list," he said simply as the car moved onto the freeway and headed down it.
"So why don't you tell me about yourselves?" Keira suggested. Zoda and Neva Kee looked at each other and both shook their heads in humility.
Two hours later, Southern Peninsula Forest: A shrumming sound was heard and a flash of light was seen causing a tree to fall over and crash.
"So it does make a sound," Zoda said with a grin. He and Neva Kee had become separated after Zoda finally got his lightsaber working.
"That's if nobody's around," said Neva Kee using his tracker to find their golf balls.
"But aren't you a nobody?" asked the Jedi with a grin as Keira laughed. Neva Kee just scowled before pushing aside a bush to reveal a small crater in the ground.
"Ah there they are," said Zoda walking over to the two balls in the center.
"What are they?" Keira asked confused as she looked at them.
"They're golf balls," said Neva Kee producing his club.
"What do they do?" Keira asked as she reached to touch one but found her hand invisibly restrained.
"They provide us with entertainment," Zoda explained.
"And get us into worlds of trouble. The key word being worlds," said Neva Kee taking a practice swing.
"Oh I see it's a game. So presumably you hit the balls towards their destination, wherever that is. Does Golf stand for anything?" asked Keira sitting down.
"No," said Neva Kee hastily as Zoda laughed. "No it doesn't."
"You mind if I take a swing," said Keira. Neva Kee shook his head and produced a ball.
"Go right ahead," he said laying it on a tee on the ground.
"Wait you had extra golf balls? I could've used those against those Spinners!" Zoda protested.
"I didn't want anybody to die," explained Neva Kee. "That's why I didn't reveal them until now."
"Spoilsport," said Zoda crossing his arms. "So where're we off to next?"
"Kashyyyk," said Neva Kee slipping on his shades.
"Kashyyyk? Why there why not Commenor or better yet the Hapes Consortium?" asked Zoda with a laugh at the second one.
"Do not laugh about that, I'm still mad at you for getting us banned from that region of space!" said Neva Kee. Keira looked at them confused.
"What happened?" she asked.
"It doesn't need to be repeated," said Neva Kee darkly.
"Hey it's your fault alright you put me up to it," said Zoda sincerely. "I could not believe the expression on the Queen Mother's face after it happened."
"And I couldn't believe you did it!" said Neva Kee incredulously. "You knew I was joking and then you did it and I'm simply at a loss for words regarding the whole event!"
"She enjoyed it I could tell," laughed Zoda. "And I did it for one simple reason: money, money, money."
"Of which I will I never pay you!" said Neva Kee. Zoda rolled his eyes.
"So what happened?" asked Keira.
"Not too long ago in a star system not too far away, Zoda and I were on Hapes, why I no longer remember or don't want to, and we attended a royal ball being hosted by the Queen Mother," said Neva Kee. "This is a matriarchal society mind you, and we had both been berated by women left and right. So we were having a frank conversation about it and Zoda says that all the Queen Mother needs is a good smooch right on the face. I of course no that's not true, but nevertheless considering both of us were heavily intoxicated at that point I bet Zoda a 1,000,000 credits that he'd never kiss the Queen Mother on the mouth. Well Zoda never backs down from a challenge so he storms right up to the Queen's table, leaps onto her lap, uses the Force to flip up her veil and plants one right on her lips."
Keira burst out laughing as Zoda chuckled.
"So he yells: 'Rock on! I told you I'd do it Neva so pay up!' Needless to say the Queen Mother didn't take that too kindly and we had to promptly run from not only the royal guards but the entire Hapes Society. We barely escaped the Hapes Cluster and were told that if we were banned forever from the Hapes Consortium and that if we ever came back to that area of space, it would be terminate with extreme prejudice. And that's the entire story. This explains why I no longer drink and why I do my best to make sure Zoda doesn't either."
"Wow you guys sure have a lot of fun in your spare time," said Keira with a grin. "I wish I could experience half the fun you guys seem to have."
"It's not fun," said Neva Kee. "It's a nightmare. But go ahead and take your swing."
Keira nodded and practiced a couple more times before swinging and connecting with the ball causing it to go rocketing off into the stratosphere and vanish from sight.
"Whoops," said Neva Kee as they all looked at it wide-eyed. "I didn't mean to give you a hyperdrive equipped ball."
"Well either way it looks like it's on a beeline for Kashyyyk, not too shabby," said Zoda looking through his shades.
"Well we know have to hit our balls quickly before the police come to investigate this," said Neva Kee. He looked up at the afternoon sky and swung with Zoda doing the same and the two balls vanished into the sky as well.
"Well we'd better run," said Zoda. "Now back to the capital city to procure a transport and get the hell out of here."
"Actually I believe my ship is fixed," said Neva Kee looking at his watch where a small 3-D image popped up showing the ship with no one in sight. "I'll call it now."
He pressed a button and the ship lifted up and headed for the planet below as the image shut off.
"You sure Kuat won't try and fry it?" Zoda asked. Neva Kee shook his head.
"He couldn't even if he tried," said Neva Kee.
"Wait you know Lord Kuat?" asked Keira. Zoda nodded.
"He's an old friend…to me at least," said Zoda simply.
"So why couldn't you contact him to get you out of the mess you're in?" Keira asked.
"I don't want to bring him in on this. If he defended aliens in a xenophobic society he would loose all respect and power and I won't do that to him," said Zoda before sighing. "Even if he was rude to Neva back on that Golan III."
"And speaking of trouble, Zoda I'm sure you're now 100 satisfied and we don't want to get you into any more trouble so you can take off now," said Neva Kee to Keira.
"Yeah I guess you're right," she said hesitantly. "Still it's been fun and you two are definitely the most interesting people I've met in my life."
"There are people out there who lead more interesting lives," said Neva Kee. "Although to be honest I hope it's not exactly like ours, I'd pity any fool who would get into as much trouble as we do."
"I hear that," Zoda grinned. "Although misery does love company."
In the distance alarm sirens could be heard blaring.
"Well you'd better get going," said Neva Kee sitting on a nearby rock.
"You're not going?" asked Keira confused. Neva Kee silently shook his head.
"No," he added. "We'll fight it out till our ship comes. Or to be precise Zoda will I don't get involved with these types of conflicts."
Zoda nodded as he lifted a massive blaster from out of nowhere with his right hand as in the left his lightsaber shot upwards.
"I suppose we'll be seeing each other again," said Keira preparing to leave.
"Of that I have no doubt," said Neva Kee. "We'll find your ball and keep it with us so if you ever want to play a round just call us. We're both listed in the Coruscant Comm. Book."
"Alright I'll see you guys later," said Keira. "Umm…may the force be with you?"
"It isn't," said Zoda with a big grin. "But thanks anyway."
With that she left as the two watched a pair of police vehicles appear before they were both blown aside when Neva Kee's ship appeared and landed nearby. Zoda and Neva Kee ran into it as laser blasts tore up the area and the ship blasted off into the afternoon sky. The ship then broke free of the atmosphere, sailed past the Golan III which fired on them again and broke off into hyperspace.
"Now get some sleep because I don't want to have to drag your hide around, it's a three day trip so hopefully you'll find something useful to do in the meantime," said Neva Kee leaving. Zoda nodded and leaned back in his seat and instantly fell asleep as the ship blazed on towards Kashyyyk.