Disclaimer: Hmm... from what I've seen, a lot of authors write witty disclaimers in order to jumpstart their creative processes... I've got nothing.
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InuYasha turned around at the sound of his name, only to be blessed with the sight of his least favorite half-brother. He had kinda suspected that he might see Sesshoumaru here, but he'd been hoping to get out of a meeting with him.
Sesshoumaru gazed lazily at his younger brother, vaguely annoyed, although he couldn't seem to recall a particular reason. But then again, InuYasha didn't really have to do anything to be annoying. He just was annoying, in that indescribable way that only younger siblings can manage.
"Weren't you supposed to be pinned to a tree somewhere?" asked Sesshoumaru somewhat sulkily. "You were the last time I checked."
"Gee, thanks for the concern," retorted InuYasha. "Yeah, I was. Which reminds me. Do you know what the hell happened to my sword while I was out? It just now occurred to me that it was gone when I woke up."
Sesshoumaru shrugged. "Oh, right. That. It was raining that one time I checked on you, and I thought it might get rusty, so I took the sword off your hands for you." Sesshoumaru didn't bother trying to make his lie sound sincere.
InuYasha rolled his eyes. "Yeah right, Sesshoumaru. Now gimme back my damn sword."
Sesshoumaru thought for a moment. "Okay. I don't really need it anyways. I don't know what I was thinking, wanting the weapon of my pathetic brother anyways."
InuYasha held out a hand expectantly.
"I don't have the Tetsusaiga with me," explained Sesshoumaru. "If you want it, you'll have to come back to my house and get it."
A collective groan came from Kagome, Shippou and Kikyou. "More walking?"
"Are these your... companions, little brother?" asked Sesshoumaru dubiously.
InuYasha lifted an eyebrow. "Better them than Jaken."
"I see," replied Sesshoumaru. "Well, tell your companions that I will graciously provide them with transportation to my home."
"You could just tell us yourself," interjected Kagome. "I mean, we are right here and all..."
Sesshoumaru pointedly ignored her statement. "I will have Jaken prepare AhUn for the journey to my house. The sooner I give you the Tetsusaiga, the sooner I can be rid of you, InuYasha."
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Kagome nudged InuYasha in the ribs. "How much longer will it be before we get to your brother's house?" She stared uneasily at the large fall to the ground from her seat in between InuYasha and Kikyou on Sesshoumaru's ugly flying dragon, and shifted Shippou nervously in his place on her lap.
"Why?" asked InuYasha. "You don't get airsick, do you?" Now it was his turn to squirm, since if she was going to get airsick, he was the one sitting in front of her.
Sesshoumaru glared at Kagome from his seat on AhUn (as far away as possible from his brother). "If any of you humans vomit on the new leather seating I had installed, this Sesshoumaru will kill you all."
Kagome flinched. "I'll be fine. I was just wondering how far it was. Shippou doesn't look too good..."
Kikyou glanced at the kit, who was staring into the distance with a glazed expression. "That was one of the side effects listed on the bottle. Didn't you read it?" she asked Kagome accusingly.
"Well, I read the directions before I gave it to him," replied Kagome guiltily. "I just didn't want him acting up while we were, you know, flying."
"Hey. Wake up, that expression's kinda creepy," ordered InuYasha, prodding at Shippou.
Shippou shook his head, giving the group his first lucid look in over half an hour. "Did you know that if you switch the 'g' and the 'b' in goober, you get booger?" he asked suspiciously.
InuYasha gave him a bewildered shake of the head. "No..."
"That's what I thought," he muttered disgustedly, and resumed spacing out.
Kikyou merely shook her head in disbelief. "How could one so young have reached such enlightenment? And a youkai no less..."
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"Make sure to wipe your dirty feet before entering the Almighty, Magnificent, Powerful, Glorious Sesshoumaru's home," demanded Jaken in a screechy voice.
"I'll do whatever I want to," snapped InuYasha, thoroughly peeved. "As soon as I get the Tetsusaiga back from the Stupid, Uptight, Girly, Boring Sesshoumaru, I'm leaving. I wouldn't be here in the first place if he wasn't such a sword-stealing pain in the ass."
Jaken, absolutely horrified by the insults to Sesshoumaru, gibbered in shocked fury for a few moments before Kikyou rendered him temporarily unconscious with an efficient blow to the head.
Sesshoumaru looked slightly hurt. Call him boring, would they? "Follow me, human scum and pathetic younger brother. Speak of me again in such a manner and your worthless lives are forfeit." Sesshoumaru tended to wax poetic when giving out death threats.
Incidentally, after Sesshoumaru's little outburst, the group followed quietly along behind him until they reached their destination. "Sesshoumaru, why in god's name are we in your garage?" sputtered InuYasha confusedly. "You kept my sword in your garage?"
Sesshoumaru turned to his brother with a sigh. "I suppose I should explain things to you. After I took the Tetsusaiga from you, I found that I couldn't use it in it's current state."
InuYasha grinned enthusiastically. "Yeah, I bet Dad put some kind of cool ward on it so that you couldn't touch it. Am I right? You probably got your ass shocked halfway across Japan."
"... No, there was no ward," explained Sesshoumaru patiently. "It clashed with my outfit. In order to remedy that, I had the Tetsusaiga reforged into something that would be useful to me. However, I no longer have need of it, so I will return it to you. Jaken, retrieve the Tetsusaiga."
"Yes, oh Resplendent One," fawned Jaken. "Whatever you say." Jaken disappeared into a pile of junk covered by a large dustcloth before reappearing with a heavy burden, his yellow eyes bulging quite comically with the exertion of carrying it.
InuYasha narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "What's Jaken doing with your golf caddy?"
Sesshoumaru reached for the handle of his designer caddy and pulled it to him, searching through the contents. "Ah. Here it is." He selected an item and handed it to InuYasha.
As he took the item from Sesshoumaru, InuYasha looked like he might actually be close to tears. "You took my sword, the sword that our father gave me, the legendary Tetsusaiga, and you reforged it into a golf club? Why?"
Sesshoumaru put a hand to his chin in profound thought. "Yes, what was I thinking when I did that?" he wondered. "Ah well. The Tetsusaiga is now restored to its rightful owner."
"So," remarked Kagome conversationally. "You golf?"
-----------------half an hour later-----------------
"Did you know that the practice of wearing plaid pants on the golf course originated from the theory that brightly colored clothing would break the concentration of your opponents?" asked Sesshoumaru earnestly. "So I figured, if plaid pants were a distraction, then what would a custom-made plaid Fluffy do to throw off the other golfers?"
"That's... fascinating..." said Kagome with a strained smile. "Why did I ever start this discussion?" she asked herself bleakly, looking desperately to her companions for help. Shippou was still out of it, and InuYasha wasn't much better, sitting on the ground with the desecrated Tetsusaiga in one hand and the other hand reaching up to wipe surreptitiously at his eyes every few minutes.
Kikyou decided to step in, not being overly fond of the topic of conversation herself. "Perhaps we had best be leaving, Sesshoumaru. We have already been away from my village for too long, and my supply of Depends is running low."
Sesshoumaru nodded in hasty agreement. "Yes, I suppose it would be best if you left," he agreed, not fancying the idea of an incontinent old woman sitting on his furniture. "I'll have Jaken bring AhUn up to the driveway."
Kagome and Kikyou promptly got to their feet, and proceeded to drag the two catatonic males with them to the front door, where Jaken awaited them with a very pouty demeanor. "If you'll give me the directions to your disgusting human village then we'll be on our way," he grumbled.
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InuYasha remained withdrawn for the rest of the day, not speaking and only moving if someone physically pulled him along. Kagome started to worry that perhaps his attachment to the Tetsusaiga bordered on... unhealthy.
They had long since arrived at the village, and InuYasha had yet to do anything other than sit in a corner of Kaede's hut and mope. Kagome decided to try and give him a nice comforting talk, as he seemed to be taking the situation with his beloved Tetsusaiga rather badly.
"Hey, InuYasha," began Kagome, sitting cross-legged on the ground a few feet away from him. "Don't be so upset about this, okay? I mean, I know you're really sad and all 'cause it was your dad's sword that he gave you. And, Sesshoumaru was really a jerk-"
"Huh," thought InuYasha absently, as Kagome continued to ramble on in the same vein. "I can see up her skirt when she sits like that."
"-so... it's not so bad. You could probably do a lot of damage with that thing, anyways. I know I'd be scared if a homicidal maniac came at me with a club like that." finished Kagome, giving InuYasha a sympathetic pat on the back.
"Um... right," muttered InuYasha. "You know what? Just don't bother me about it any more, and I'll be fine. In fact, who needs the stupid thing, anyways? I got along just fine before I had it, and I'll be fine without it." InuYasha stood up and pitched the sword-turned-golf-club out the back window of Kaede's hut. "Stupid Tetsusaiga... stupid Sesshoumaru..." InuYasha mumbled under his breath, turning on his heels and stalking out the door.
Kagome remained seated on the floor. "Well... at least he's not sitting around moping anymore..."
Shippou walked into the hut, rubbing a lump on his head as dragging the golf club formerly known as Tetsusaiga by the handle. "Hey Kagome, this came flying out the window and hit me on the head. Did you throw it?" Shippou scowled.
"No, it wasn't me!" assured Kagome hastily.
"Alright then," chirped Shippou, suddenly cheerful. "Well, can I keep it to play with?" he asked.
"Uh, sure, why not?" agreed Kagome. "Let's go find Kikyou. Maybe she can teach us how to use it."
"Okay!" Shippou started to bounce his way outside again, then turned around with a quizzical expression. "Kagome, you know that when you sit like that, everyone can see up your skirt?"
Kagome blushed. "Oh."
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"So, Kikyou, what do you know about playing golf?" Kagome and Shippou had finally located the elderly woman puttering around in a field on the outskirts of the village. "I promised Shippou that we could try and play with the Tetsusaiga."
Kikyou rolled her eyes. "The technicalities aren't important. Basically, just use the blunt end to hit stuff. He's a five year old boy, that in and of itself will keep him amused for hours."
Kagome nodded gravely and handed the Tetsusaiga to Shippou. "You heard her, Shippou. Have fun."
Shippou gave a cry of joy and proceeded to the forest, where he could destroy the landscape free of consequences.
Kikyou turned back to Kagome. "So, is there anything else you wanted, my little reincarnation?"
"What do you mean, your reincarnation?" asked Kagome, properly confused. "I mean, wouldn't you have to be dead or something?"
"Well, you have miko powers..."
"What does that have to do with anything? I grew up in a shrine."
"Don't be foolish," admonished Kikyou. "If nothing else, it's obvious that you're my reincarnation because you and I look exactly alike."
Kagome blanched. "You... can't mean that..."
"Look, you're my reincarnation and that's final!" hissed Kikyou.
"But... that's impossible..." insisted Kagome. She didn't really look like she was pushing seventy years old, did she?
"Ah well, whether you believe or not isn't the issue," stated Kikyou decisively.
"Oh." Kagome was beyond crestfallen. Her mom had always told her she was pretty...
"Kagome, Kikyou, what are you doing out here?" asked Kaede, strolling briskly in their direction.
"Nothing of importance." Kikyou turned to her younger sister calmly. "Did you need something?"
"I just wanted to check up on everyone. You and Kagome seem to be doing fine. Have you seen Shippou or InuYasha?" queried Kaede.
"Um, Shippou's playing in the woods over there," volunteered Kagome. "I dunno where InuYasha went. I think he's still upset."
A loud stomping noise caught the attention of the three women as the very hanyou in question came storming up.
"You bet your life I'm upset!" he snarled. "Now tell me, who left the cap off the toothpaste?"
"I don't see what concern it is of yours," huffed Kikyou. "That happens to be my toothpaste you're holding there."
"No it isn't! The toothpaste is mine, and somebody left the cap off of it!" InuYasha scanned the group suspiciously, looking for the culprit. "How am I supposed to use toothpaste that's been left open? It's all dried out and crunchy... grrrr!"
The three of them took an involuntary step back as InuYasha's eyes flickered from yellow to red, and then back again.
"Um, did you see that?" whispered Kagome, nudging Kaede in the ribs. "I think his eyes changed color just now. Is that another demon power? Boy, he seems really mad, don't you think we should give him some new toothpaste?"
"I know of this phenomena," said Kikyou. "This only happens to hanyou, and only when they feels very threatened. Their demon half takes over and renders them mindless."
"You know I can still hear you," cut in InuYasha, looking rather insulted. "You guys are really pissing me off... grrrrrr.." Once again, InuYasha's eyes flickered red.
"Kikyou, do you know how to stop it?" asked Kagome, still somewhat fascinated by the transformation taking place in front of her. After all, even if this was technically a Bad Thing, it still looked pretty neat.
"Stop what?" asked Kikyou innocently.
"The transformation," clarified Kaede. "Do you know how to stop it?"
"... No," admitted Kikyou. "Maybe he'll just snap out of it?"
"Hey guys, what's goin' on here?" chirped Shippou, bouncing happily back from his rampage of destruction on the forest. "What's up with InuYasha? He looks even more cranky than usual. And his eyes are bloodshot... does he have a 'hangover' or something? My daddy gets those sometimes..."
"That's enough, Shippou," admonished Kaede. "InuYasha seems to be transforming into a full demon, and we don't know what to do about it."
"Ooooh," gasped Shippou. "Cool."
InuYasha continued to stand stock-still, giving the occasional growl. His eyes were now completely transformed, along with his claws and fangs.
"What do we do now?" asked Kagome. "I don't think he can even hear us when we talk to him..."
"There's nothing we can do except wait for the transformation to wear off," responded Kikyou solemnly. "Until then, we should be prepared to flee if he gets violent."
"Grrrrr..." replied InuYasha in agreement.
------------------------3 days later...------------------------
"Kagome, InuYasha hasn't done anything for three days except stand there and growl!" wailed Shippou. "I'm sooooo bored! Couldn't he at least try for a snarl or something?"
"Unfortunately, no," said Kikyou. "This is what I meant when I said that his demon blood would render him mindless."
"There has to be something we can do," said Kagome plaintively. "I'm getting really bored too!"
Kaede had left the three of them the first night, assuring them that she had 'urgent business in the village.' She had only returned a few times since them, bringing picnic lunches.
"Can we carry him back to the village?" asked Shippou hopefully. "That way, we don't have to stay with him."
"We can try," replied Kikyou. "Although it will most likely require the combined strength of the three of us."
Kagome stretched out her tired limbs, and pictured herself going to sleep that night in Kaede's hut, rather than out doors. "You and I can each take an arm, and Shippou can get the feet," she told Kikyou. Kikyou nodded her assent.
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Kaede looked up in surprise when she heard the sounds of her sister, along with Kagome and Shippou, moving about outside the front door. She hastily put away the Harlequin romance novel she'd been reading and went outside to see what they were doing.
"Okay, let's put him here," commented Kagome. "Man, he's heavy... I thought we'd never make it."
Kaede watched, aghast, as they set InuYasha in front of her house, looking for all the world like an animatronic lawn ornament.
"So, what do we do now that we've got him here?" asked Kikyou.
"Hm," Kagome put a hand to her chin in contemplation. "Since he's out of it anyways... I think I'll paint his nails."
Shippou tugged Kagome's hand eagerly. "Ooooh, can I help?"
Kaede stepped out of her house and over to the schoolgirl. "You," she began, accentuating her orders with a firm poke, "Will come inside and feed your cat right now. You left that thing here almost two weeks ago, and I have had to take care of it ever since."
Kagome wrinkled her forehead in concentration. "My cat? Oh... you mean Buyo. I forgot he was here..."
"That's right, young lady," said Kaede sternly. "Don't shirk your responsibilty any longer, and go feed your cat. I'm tired of taking care of that gluttonous beast."
"Meow," commented Buyo, lazily strolling out of the hut.
"Oh, poor kitty, I'm sorry I forgot about you," crooned Kagome. Buyo pointedly ignored her, instead turing an interested glance on InuYasha, who was still stock-still on the lawn.Buyo sauntered over to InuYasha and proceeded to sharpen his claws on the hanyou's red pants leg.
"Buyo!" choked Kagome, "Bad kitty! Don't do that!"
Buyo continued to ignore Kagome and claw at the red fire rat fabric. Up on the top of his head, InuYasha's ears twitched. Abruptly, he turned to face the miscreant feline, showing the first signs of awareness since he'd 'transformed.'
Buyo sniffed. Did the dog-boy think he could be intimidated? Oh no, not the Great Buyo...
Oh, wait. Those were rather imposing claws that the dog-boy was currently flexing. Perhaps the Great Buyo could make an exception, just this once...
Buyo turned tail and fled as fast as his pudgy legs could carry him towards the nearest tree. Demon InuYasha took off after him gleefully, swiping his claws at the cat. Buyo managed to make it to the tree, but was unfortunately hampered in his attempts to climb it by his generous girth. Finally, InuYasha managed to take a chomp at Buyo's tail with his overgrowm fangs.
The feel of fangs biting at his tail provided Buyo with the motivation to climb the rest of the way up the tree, where he turned around and started hissing at InuYasha on the ground.
Meanwhile, InuYasha eyes suddenly snapped into focus, turning from red to yellow. He gagged a little, then put a hand to his mouth. "Why the hell is there cat hair on my tongue?" he demanded, horrified. "What have I done?"
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AN: Uhm... sorry this chapter took me so darn long to write... if I was gettin' paid for this, I'd be fired, huh? I wrote almost five pages today so I could post this before I go to summer camp. I don't even know where the stupid camp is, just that it's at some place called Lake Placid. There was some horror movie called 'Lake Placid,' wasn't there? About a giant gator or something. Crap...
I think that somebody wanted to know if Miroku and Sango were going to be in the story. They definitely will, and very soon. In fact, I have plans for pretty much every character in the series.
Wow, am I the only one who's really confused by the new 'hits' feature when you log in on FF? According to them, I've had only 19 hits on all the chapters, yet I have like 20 reviews. Does that mean that maybe someone reviewed who didn't read or something? It's sooo confusing!
In other news, statistics say: Five out of five authors agree that lots of reviews equals more inspiration, faster chapters, and better writing quality.
... Okay, I made all of that up. But you'll still review me, right? Please?