Anguirus111 Note: This chapter gets more bizarre than usual just a heads up.
Hoth: A blue spaceship was seen sticking amongst the pale whiteness of the snow surrounding it while two small specks moved around outside of it.
"Way to go Neva," Zoda complained shivering. "Trying to find two white balls in a white frozen landscape, great just great, it's like trying to find a needle in a haystack! How we ever managed to golf eighteen holes here I'll never know."
The diplomat remained silently brooding.
"Neva?" Zoda asked.
"I'm not speaking to you," the diplomat grumbled.
"Hey, it's not like I knew that asteroid field was there!" Zoda protested.
"I told you it was there!" Neva Kee shot back. "And you deliberately took us through it anyway! Why?"
"To test the inertial compensators!" explained Zoda. "We were afraid they might've been damaged back on Sullust so I was just testing to see if they were okay."
"That's crap and you know it," said Neva Kee shaking his head.
"Meh, you only get the best from me," said Zoda shrugging. "So where're our balls?"
"I don't even think they're here yet," said Neva Kee as his brooding ceased. "You did want to get here in a hurry, guess now I know why."
Zoda was about to respond when their headsets activated.
"Will you two hurry up I'm freezing to death in here!" Keira complained. She was in the powered down ship freezing because Neva Kee had refused to leave it on for fear the heat would attract unwanted attention.
"Start a fire using Neva's stuff as kindling," Zoda suggested.
"Hey!" shouted the diplomat.
"Yeah that'll work well too," said the Jedi with a grin as Neva Kee began growling.
"One of these days Z, one of these days," the diplomat warned. Suddenly Zoda's ears shot up.
"Where?" asked Neva Kee reaching into his pockets for his grip and golf balls.
"Ridge to our right," said the Jedi as he pulled out his dual dueling lightsaber hilts and spun them around on his hands before pointing them downwards. Neva Kee looked around aimlessly before intentionally sneezing.
"Trio on the ridge, looks like Blastech Aim&Bach D-7 Sniper Rifles," said the diplomat.
"Ouch," said Zoda wincing. "They must be smugglers to be using stuff that antiquated."
"Could be modified," Neva Kee pointed out as they kept advancing up a snow filled slope.
"Where are we going anyway?" Zoda asked.
"I dunno," said the diplomat shrugging. "I thought you knew."
"Incoming," said Zoda preparing to activate his lightsabers. "No kill."
"No go," said Neva Kee and as Zoda began to protest. "No argue either."
Zoda grumbled an expletive as a blaster bolt smacked into the ground in front of them before the two rolled away and took up defensive positions behind a snow bluff as more laser blasts chewed up the area around them.
"What's going on?" asked Keira frantic. "I'm on my way."
"It's too dangerous, get out of here!" shouted Neva Kee over the roar of laser blasts.
"But-," began Keira.
"Just do it!" said Neva. "If you're captured along with the ship then we'll never get out of here. Zoda and I can handle ourselves we'll be fine. When you receive a signal from me you can come back."
"Okay," said Keira. "Maybe I'll go get help."
"Unlikely but you can try," said Neva Kee as the blue ship powered up and tore off into the atmosphere.
"So what now?" asked Zoda.
"We surrender," responded the diplomat as he pocketed his grip and balls and tossed a blaster rifle he had away from him. Zoda reluctantly did the same with the lightsaber hilts as the laser blasts suddenly stopped.
"Don't move!" shouted a voice over a megaphone as the snipers made their way down the slope and quickly confiscated their weapons.
"What're you two doing here?" demanded one of the heavily bundled up snipers.
"We came in search of something," said Neva Kee as a pair of sonic booms were heard high above them.
"Searching for what?" demanded one of the workers agitated. Two streaks of fire came roaring down from above and into the crest above them causing a massive wave of snow to come straight at them.
"That," said the diplomat simply as they were buried completely in snow.
Space: Keira pulled back on the hyperspace lever as the vessel entered hyperspace. As soon as it did, another vessel appeared, a Jedi Starfighter that quickly disengaged from its hyperdrive ring and proceed towards the frozen world below.
Hoth: Zoda opened his eyes and began blinking a few times as the whiteness in them faded away. He instantly found himself in some makeshift jail cell consisting of an ice cave with bars while Neva Kee was in a cell on the opposite end.
"Ay Carumba!" said Zoda holding his head in pain. "Talk about an ice-cream headache!"
"It'll go away eventually," said the diplomat. "But as to our current situation."
"Where are anyway?" asked Zoda looking around.
"Some type of underground base from the looks of it," Neva commented wryly. "Quite an echo we have in here."
"So let's call it Echo Base!" said Zoda before growling in pain from the headache.
"Brilliants Holmes, brilliant," said Neva Kee sarcastically as he began giving him a golf clap. "C'mon let's get out of here."
"Alright," said Zoda. He thrust out his hand and was about to open the cages when suddenly his headache came on in full force and he collapsed in pain as suddenly both cages blew outwards and smashed into each other with a loud clang.
"You okay?" asked Neva Kee as he stepped through the new opening. Zoda stumbled around drunkenly.
"I think this headache is wrecking my concentration," said the Jedi simply as Neva Kee helped him out of the small prison "And before I get any snide remarks out of you, acting crazy requires more concentration than being sane."
"So act sane then," Neva suggested. "Because that explosion probably alerted somebody to our presence."
"Do we have any weapons?" asked Zoda as the two made their way down an empty corridor.
"Nope," said Neva Kee. "Unless you've got a lightsaber hidden somewhere in there."
"Nyet, comrade, nyet," Zoda responded. A sound of footsteps was heard and the two creatures hid in an alcove as several armed workers ran past them.
"So what now?" asked Zoda as they advanced back into the corridor.
"I want to find out what's going on here," said Neva. "Somehow this doesn't seem like a smuggler's den to me."
"Yeah I guess I can see that," Zoda agreed looking around. "Don't know too many smugglers who would take the time to carve out these caves and string them up with lights."
"So what's really going on here?" asked Neva. "As a diplomat and a Jedi I think we need to investigate this matter for galaxy security purposes."
"Oh I hate having to do my job," Zoda complained. "But I guess we all have to submit sometimes."
"Let's role," said Neva as the two advanced down the corridor.
"I just wish I had my lightsaber," said Zoda.
"I don't think using a superconducting blade in an area filled with ice is necessarily a good idea. One swipe into the wall and then the whole cavern collapses inward from the heat," said Neva.
"That sounds reasonable to me," said Zoda confused. Neva rolled his eyes as the two advanced down the corridor.
Outside: Two guards outside the entrance to the front entrance of 'Echo Base' suddenly fell unconscious as a small green Jedi Master walked into the main entrance. A group of nearby workers who were operating on a massive cylindrical device grabbed their weapons and aimed at the Jedi Master who quickly deflected the bolts with him green saber and dispatched them all.
"A waste," said Yoda sadly. "A waste."
The Jedi looked at the massive device in the cavern confused before advancing further into the base where he heard the sounds of blaster fire going on.
Corridor: A group of workers were firing their blasters at Zoda and Neva Kee as the diplomat was huddled behind a corner with Zoda deflecting various laser blasts with a massive stalagmite they'd found poking out of the ground awhile back. Still, Zoda's headache kept kicking in causing the various walls to shake violently dropping chunks of snow and ice everywhere. Realizing they were outmatched, the workers dropped back from sight as Neva Kee appeared once again besides the Jedi.
"Definitely not a smuggler base," said Neva Kee reiterated looking at the assortment of charred weaponry on the ground. "I can't recall the last time I ever saw these weapons in use."
"Let's just keep moving," said Zoda stumbling about. "The more I move the warmer my head gets and my headache lessens."
The two continued on before Neva Kee began grinning evilly.
"Zoda," he began.
"Yeah?" asked the Jedi.
"I'm sorry," said the diplomat beginning to chuckle.
"For what?" asked Zoda anticipating the forthcoming rip.
"I guess you're not made of hot air after all. Ha, ha!" laughed the diplomat. Zoda groaned when suddenly his headache erupted again and the whole cavern collapsed on them.
"You okay Captain N?" asked Zoda over his headset as he lost sight of the blue diplomat in the cave in.
"Yeah, fine," said Neva on the other side of a mound of snow. "Keep advancing towards the control room and I'll find my own way there."
Zoda nodded and walked off from the cave in when he turned a corner and smacked right into a mirror image of himself.
"Ow," said the two images looking at each other confused. As Zoda moved his hand, his mirror image moved its hand as well. Both images began jumping back and forth identical to each other before both breathed a sigh of relief and wiped their brows.
"What an incredible illusion," said Zoda.
"Think it is an illusion do you?" demanded his mirror image. Zoda looked at it wide-eyed.
"Uncle?" he asked shocked.
"Nephew," Yoda acknowledged with an evil grin. "Time to take your own medicine, you should."
"You wouldn't lay a finger on me!" Zoda accused. "The Council forbade you!"
"See the Council here do you?" commented Yoda wryly as he took out his lightsaber. "Do you?"
"Uh-oh," said Zoda. He quickly maneuvered past Yoda and tore off down the corridor with the Jedi Master in hot pursuit.
Elsewhere: Neva Kee wandered down various hallways, extremely confused as to the whole purpose of this base. Clearly smuggling was not involved as the various rooms he had gone through were filled with everyday supplies and mechanical equipment, smugglers typically dealt with rare items, so what? The diplomat could not figure it out and having not encountered anybody within the past several minutes, he could not 'interrogate' anybody either. Sighing, the Nevakeeian continued his solitary quest until he reached a room where he heard voices. The short diplomat scurried into the room and hid behind some machinery as he saw a group of individuals in lab coats huddled in front of a huge control apparatus.
"And so in short the influx of chronitons into the main chamber along the naturally reflective properties of the ice should manage to open up the wormhole," said a worker.
"Chronitons But that'd open a gateway to," began Neva before his eyes bugged out with realization. He had to stop them, the only question was how.
"Aaaahhhh!" shouted a voice. Zoda came tearing in through the doorway with Yoda in hot pursuit swinging his lightsaber at him. The Jedi Knight leapt into the air and did a twirl as his two dueling sabers tore off of a nearby desk and into his hands as he began swinging them at the crazed Jedi Master. The two blades extended and then all three slammed against each other so hard sparks went flying from them.
"You'll never take me alive!" shouted Zoda over the hum of the blades.
"No," agreed Yoda. "Dead you will be!"
Zoda looked at him shocked before both began leaping around the room clashing their lightsabers together. The group of workers looked at them stunned before Neva Kee leapt onto a table and aimed his weapon at them.
"Don't move I know what you're doing and I'm here to stop you!" shouted the diplomat.
"You don't know anything about what we're doing!" shouted one of the workers.
"I know you're trying to create a hole in time!" shouted Neva over the explosions being caused by the two quarreling Jedi. "And I know that there's no way you'll be able to control it for very long."
"Well we've found a way," said one of the workers. "And we intend to leave this timeframe forever."
"And I can't let you alter history," said the diplomat. "Now don't make me shoot you."
"We're not going to-," began one of the workers when suddenly the roof caved in from Zoda's headache. The workers quickly ran out an exit as Neva ran off as well as the whole room was covered in snow. A couple moments later Yoda and Zoda poked their heads out from the snow to see Neva looking at them annoyed.
"Will you two chill out until we get this problem here solved," Neva Kee said. "There are bigger things going on here than your stupid blood feud."
"Nice pun Neva," commented Zoda.
"Quiet," said Neva. "Now will you two cooperate or not?"
"Truce?" asked Yoda.
"Truce," agreed his nephew. Neva Kee grabbed their hands and hauled both of them out of the snow and the trio walked down the hallway.
"Good use of Form IV you have," said Yoda to his nephew.
"Yeah I've tried adding some extra moves to it, I actually it Form Z though that's hardly an official term," commented the Knight. "Any advice?"
"Do not give in to your anger," said the Master. "Your downside it is, too cocky it makes you. Cockiness, good it can be, but too much and bad it will become. And watch your armpits you should, easy targets they can be."
"Will do," said Zoda. "As for you-."
"Need advice from you I do not! Fine my form is, fine my form will be!" said Yoda quickly to silence him. Zoda laughed when suddenly the trio emerged into the main cavern.
"So what is that big thing?" asked Zoda looking at the massive cannon shaped object in the middle of it.
"It's a device capable of causing a temporal wormhole in order to propel someone into time," said Neva. "Or so those scientists claim, whether or not it does it I don't know."
"So let's slice and dice," said Zoda as he extended the blades on his saber.
"Unfortunately that won't work in this situation. If that thing explodes it could disrupt the space-time continuum. Or it could kill us, either way it wouldn't be pretty," said the diplomat.
"Maybe for you it wouldn't," Zoda grumbled. They reached the tip of the cannon and looked down its barrel.
"Uncertain, I am. Encountered no one, we have yet," said Yoda gripping his saber and looking around anxiously. Suddenly the scientists reappeared at the top of the apparatus.
"We've had enough of your meddling so we're getting rid of you once and for all!" shouted one of them. He pressed a device and suddenly the device immediately powered up and fired a beam at them.
"Uncle!" Zoda shouted as he Force shoved his uncle out of the way of the beam before it quickly enveloped them. An explosion went off causing smoke to rise and when it finished they were gone.
Time Passed…
Echo Base: A small explosion went off inside the cavern and Neva Kee and Zoda went flying out of it before slamming into a nearby wall and collapsing on the ground.
"Ow," said Zoda. "My head!"
"I think we have bigger things to worry about than that," Neva commented next to him. Zoda's vision cleared and they saw a massive cave filled with bustling activity as dozens of small ships were being prepped before taking off from the cavern.
"I must've missed something," said Zoda as he got up. "Where's the cannon?"
"I think it got us," said Neva. "And it worked too. Good thing I didn't put any money on it."
"So where the hell are we?" asked Zoda confused.
"I think the appropriate question is 'when the hell are we'?" said a voice from behind them. The two creatures turned to see a startlingly familiar individual behind them.
"Keira?" asked Zoda tentatively.
"Not quite," said the woman behind them. "I'm her descendant, three hundred years removed."
"Oh hell," said Neva hanging his head in shame. "Boy are we in for it now."
"Could be worse," said Zoda. "And with us it usually has been."
"So what's going on?" asked Neva.
"Well you're approximately three hundred or so years into the future. Right now the Rebellion is fighting a way against the oppressive Galactic Empire who is right now trying to destroy this base," said 'Keira'.
"Oh," said Zoda. "Well that doesn't sound so bad."
"So why're you here?" asked Neva. "You don't look like a reb to me."
"No," the woman admitted. "I just came to tell you that what the scientists didn't realize was that your unique chroniton signatures will pull you back to your own timeframe in just a little bit. Until then just sit tight."
"Screw that," said Zoda as he walked off. "This gives me an idea."
"Me too," said Neva following him.
"You can't expect to fly one of those ships in the battle!" 'Keira' protested.
"Course not, that's boring," said Zoda. "But how many times do you get to tee off twice from the same planet?"
"Awesome," said Neva as he produced his grip.
"Wait!" said 'Keira'. "You can't go out there, what about the space-time thingy?"
"Why should we care?" asked Zoda. "We've gone into the future, not the past. We're not really altering anything."
"But what about if you survive to this time frame?" asked the woman as they advanced out of the main hanger bay as T-47 Snowspeeders went rocketing overhead.
"I'm sure we'd understand, golf is definitely worth the headaches it causes," said Zoda as he winced one last time as his headache finally went away.
"You know, my ancestor couldn't figure out your obsession with this game and quite frankly neither can I," admitted the descendant.
"Until you've played it you never will," said Zoda as the two finally managed to reach the North Ridge where they could view the chaos even better. Zoda whistled as Neva Kee looked on impressed.
"Nice to see technology has advanced so well," he said. Several AT-ATs and AT-STs were currently pounding the Rebel defenses to a pulp.
"You're taking this incredibly well for having been catapulted into the distant future," said 'Keira' as an AT-AT fell over and then was blown up by a speeder.
"Meh. To start off when playing Golf the outside circumstances don't matter and to conclude this wouldn't be the first time this has happened," said Zoda as he found his ball and took out his grip which extended into the club which he began practice swinging with.
"Yeah we got thrown into the future much farther than this before," said Neva. "But we made it back so that's all that matters."
"Hopefully we won't have to explain this to Keira. She'll go nuts, I know she will," said Zoda as he looked up into the sky before swinging and ripping the ball into the upper atmosphere.
"Speaking of which, what happened to ol' K anyway?" asked Neva as he swung his club as well and the ball flew off after the first one.
"Got married and had kids," said 'Keira'. "And told them they were forbidden from ever playing golf."
"Hypocrite," said Zoda. An AT-ST suddenly appeared over the crest of its hill only for Zoda to look at it bizarrely before the vehicle was crushed flat by the Force. Instantly afterwards both Neva Kee and Zoda began to fade.
"Finally," said Zoda looking at his quickly disappearing hand.
"Wait, what's your name?" asked Neva.
"I'm Captain Neezda," said the woman with a grin. Neva Kee and Zoda's expressions dropped at that.
"That-!" shouted Zoda and then both were gone.
Hoth: Yoda was looking at the device bewildered along with Keira Kiley who had returned after having no luck finding any help for Zoda and Neva Kee.
"I can't believe they're gone," Keira said in shock. "Stuck in some distant future or the distant past."
"Confession to make to you I have," said Yoda solemnly.
"What?" asked Keira confused. She was so intent on what Yoda had to say that she failed to notice Zoda and Yoda enter into the bay, something that Yoda did not.
"I am really Zoda," admitted the Jedi Master, straining to form a coherent statement. "I got stuck in the past and took on the moniker Yoda so as not to cue others in as to what happened."
"Really?" asked Keira amazed. The Jedi Master leaned in close as to impart a secret upon her.
"Nope," said the Jedi Master with a big grin. He began laughing as did Zoda and Neva Kee. Keira looked at them with a measure of relief before growling and punching Zoda who collapsed.
"Ow!" he said grasping his shoulder in pain. "Some welcome back that is."
Keira grabbed both of them in a big hug before releasing them.
"Don't do that to me again!" she said.
"Couldn't help it, anything can and does happen," Zoda reminded her.
"So how far did you go?" asked Keira. Neva Kee and Zoda looked at each other before shrugging.
"Three hundred years," said Zoda. "Far enough to hit our golf balls then and now."
"So where to now?" asked Keira excited.
"Yes nephew, where?" asked Yoda his voice dripping with threat.
"Promise you won't follow?" asked Zoda. Yoda sighed.
"Yes, the solitary life the Jedi is to follow, not the one by the government it is controlled," admitted the Jedi Master solemnly. "As things have so clearly become."
"Endor," said Zoda choosing to leave the Master's comments where they lay. "Then Bakura and straight to the Unknown Regions where our final hole lies."
"The adventure is almost over already?" asked Keira.
"That's the thing with games," said Neva. "They end."
"Later Unc," said Zoda as the trio turned to leave. "I trust you can deal with this mess."
Yoda looked at the cannon before turning back to them.
"Don't I always?" he asked bemused.
"Yeah I guess you do," Zoda agreed. "Later."
"Yeah, later," said Yoda absently as he wondered what to do with the thing. To his shock the cannon disintegrated moments later.
"Well that is that," said Yoda wiping off his hands before leaving the caves as well.
"So what happened to the scientists?" asked Neva.
"Ran like little doggies they did," said Yoda. "Like Zoda has done."
"Hey!" shouted the Knight as Keira laughed.
"Good one Jedi Master," she said. Yoda shrugged.
"Learned the gift of humor I did from Zoda," Yoda explained. "Useful it is."
Zoda just grumbled at that statement as they approached Neva's ship and Yoda's starfighter.
"Look familiar does it?" asked Yoda slyly towards the fighter.
"Not really, but I have been gone for awhile," said Jedi commented before a series of angry bleeps erupted from the droid attached to the side of the ship. "Oh no, not Depot!"
Zoda promptly turned tail and ran off as his former droid lifted the ship off the ground and chased after him into the horizon.
"Zoda's apprentice you are?" asked Yoda confused. Keira chuckled.
"Not quite I represent the Insurance Company who is trying to stop these two from raising hell," said Keira. "Needless to say they just won't obey."
"Speaking of which, after you they are," said Yoda. "Purchased a fleet they did, one step behind you they have been, but for how much longer I know not."
"Crap," said Neva Kee perturbed. "Then we'd better take off."
"Accompany you I will," said Yoda. "Need passage I do to Bakura and alone I do not wish to travel."
"I think you'd be better off on your own," Keira remarked. "Zoda can be a handful."
"Yes, but family he is and watch over him I must," said Yoda. "No choice do I have and yet find it painful I do not. Enjoy his company I secretly do, keeps me on my toes he does."
"Well let's go, he'll just have to catch up with us then," said Neva as he boarded his ship. "The last thing we need is for my already damaged ship to fall under attack by Star Destroyers."
"By what?" asked Keira confused as they got in and headed for the cockpit.
"You'll find out in a few hundred years Captain Neezda," said Neva Kee sneakily leaving Keira looking at him in shock.
"What did you see in that future?" she demanded.
The ship took off and escaped from Hoth before vanishing into hyperspace before being closely followed by a Jedi Starfighter which did the same. At that exact moment that the starfighter left the Berandelli Fleet came roaring out of hyperspace.
"Not again!" shouted the security agent. "I'm getting tired of this!"
"Well according to our reports we might be able to get one step ahead of them," said the comm. officer reading his notes. "According to this ever planet they've gone too has been a planet that they've played a round of golf on. The closest planet to here is Endor and after that Bakura. If we go there we can be there when they arrive and then blast them out of the sky," said the comm. officer. "And we'd better too, according to this their courses after that were in the Unknown Regions and that place is a deathtrap for any ship."
"Fine," said the security agent defeated. "Let's go…again."
The fleet erupted into hyperspace.