Ship: "How did you manage to cram something this large into your belly?" demanded Keira looking up at the turbolaser cannon. Kirby, who was decked out in spot-welders gear, flipped up his visor and looked up at the cannon while shrugging.
"How do you not manage to cram something that big into your belly?" he asked mischievously. Keira shot him a look.
"Okay, okay. Look they don't call me 'bottomless belly' for nothing. Aside from some nut named Yoshi I encountered awhile back, I'm the only one I know who can fit anything and everything into his stomach," responded the puffball.
"Amazing," said Keira shaking her head.
"Do you know where Neva Kee and Zoda hid all the liquor?" asked Kirby.
"No, why?" asked Keira.
"I can't stand this pitiful existence. I'm fine here on this ship and in the known galaxy but I cannot stand those stupid Cappies back at Dreamland, they're always wanting me to solve their stupid problems when it'd take two seconds to realize how to solve it on their own," Kirby complained.
"Why not just scare them off? You seem to do a good job of that out here from what I've seen," commented Keira, distracted.
"I've tried but unfortunately when my ship crashed on their planet I was knocked so unconscious that I spoke gibberish to them and as far as their stupid minds are concerned that's how I always talk. Every time I try to speak normally they assume they're in a dream and I ultimately get nowhere with them, hence why I've turned to a life of heavy drinking," said Kirby before beginning to laugh evilly as he walked up and placed his hand on the laser cannon. "But all that's gonna change with this baby. I'm gonna blast those Cappies into next week and they're never going to bother me again."
Kirby began laughing maniacally to himself as Keira hastily made her way to the exit and out of the bay. She made her way to the cockpit where Zoda and Neva Kee were having an argument.
"That planet tried to eat us alive!" shouted Zoda.
"No it tried to eat you alive, it left me well enough alone," said Neva Kee with a grin.
"Oh, ha, ha!" said Zoda turning away from him.
"What's up?" asked Keira stepping in.
"Nothing," Zoda grumbled.
"We're just not seeing eye to eye on the next planet on our tour," said Neva Kee.
"Zonama Sekot?" asked Keira trying to remember.
"That's the one," acknowledged Neva Kee.
"What's so bad about it?" Keira asked. "I mean I haven't heard anything about it, but then again I haven't heard of the last two planets we've visited either."
"You don't want to know," warned Zoda.
"Spill it," said Keira sitting down.
"I think you're better off not knowing," Neva Kee agreed. "If it comes up we'll tell you but if not, be thankful."
The blue tunnel of hyperspace vanished as the starlines receded leaving a green planet right in front of them.
"What's Kirby up to?" asked Neva Kee as he pressed some buttons on his console.
"Laughing maniacally in the back about the laser cannon," said Keira.
"Then I guess that means he fixed the airbrakes," stated Neva Kee unenthusiastically.
"Maybe," said Zoda. The ship plunged into the atmosphere and was instantly buffeted by high winds.
"Oh no, I can't look," said Zoda covering his eyes.
"Would you calm down," Neva Kee complained. "We haven't even landed yet."
"And we're never going to," said Zoda, mildly hysterical.
"Oh for…" began Neva Kee defeated.
"It's just high winds, most planets have them in the upper atmosphere," explained Keira.
"You think I don't know that?" Zoda spat. "But how many planets intentionally start their upper winds to coincide with the arrival of a certain ship?"
"What?" Keira shouted confused.
"Don't listen to him, he's just seeing things that aren't there," Neva Kee cut in.
"Hey guys, what's up?" asked Kirby walking in with a big bowl of popcorn.
"Strap yourself in we're encountering heavy winds," advised Neva Kee.
"Bah! I can withstand any wind shear you guys throw at me!" said Kirby. The whole ship suddenly dipped down and shot back up, tearing Kirby's bowl from his hands as it went straight up into the air.
"Oh no, my popcorn!" he shouted in vain. Popcorn fell everywhere and sent the ship into a tailspin as the other passengers tried desperately to cover their faces from the falling popped kernels.
"Kirby!" shouted Neva Kee.
"Don't worry I'll fix this!" shouted Kirby leaping onto a chair.
"Do no-," began Neva Kee when Kirby opened his massive mouth and began sucking in large amounts of air. Keira, Zoda, and Neva Kee were slammed into the back of their chairs as everything that wasn't tied down got sucked into Kirby's massive gullet including all of the popcorn.
"No, my lightsaber!" shouted Zoda as his saber tore free and disappeared into the darkness of Kirby's mouth before it closed shut.
"See, problem solved," said Kirby brushing off his hands.
"Oh look the ground," said Zoda looking out the forward viewport. Neva Kee yanked up on the stick while slamming on the brakes and the ship came to a screeching halt just feet above the turf. Everyone's hearts had leapt into their throats with that maneuver except for Kirby's.
"Who's the man?" he said triumphantly. "Nobody can beat my spot welding!"
The craft came to a slow descent and touched down before sinking a little bit into the moisture soaked ground.
"Your spot welding is the only thing that's keeping me from killing you right now!" Neva Kee shouted at him.
"Don't be jealous," said Kirby crossing his arms.
"Zoda, let's go. Keira, you watch over Kirby, see that he doesn't cause any trouble," said Neva Kee getting out of his seat with Zoda in hot pursuit.
"So you do think it's going to attack us," Zoda said.
"Let's just say we may have to hit the balls right before impact to ensure we don't receive any unwanted hostilities," said Neva Kee. The two grabbed their grips and bolted out the door leaving Keira alone with Kirby.
"So…do you want to play some cards?" Keira offered.
"No, I'm going to go check out the locals," said Kirby immediately heading for the exit.
"You can't leave," said Keira blocking his path.
"Why not?" asked Kirby. "It's a free planet."
"Neva said you're not supposed to be getting into any trouble," Keira warned.
"No," said Kirby with a big grin. "He said you're supposed to stop me from getting into any trouble, I'm free to do whatever I want. See you around chumpette."
Kirby bolted out the door with Keira in hot pursuit.
"Get back here!" Keira shouted.
"Run, run as fast as you can, you can't catch me I'm the Warp star man," said Kirby gleefully as he ran out of the ship and out into the morning air. Keira yanked out her blaster and aimed at Kirby before realizing it would be faster just to run him down.
"Freeze puff ball!" said Keira as she quickly ran in front of him.
"Ah nuts, you can run faster than Neva and Zoda can, this isn't fair!" Kirby protested.
"Deal with it, now get back in the ship," ordered Keira.
"Okay," said Kirby defeated. But before Keira could do anything, Kirby puffed himself up like a balloon and began floating away. Keira shook her head astonished before triggering her blaster to stun and aiming it at the renegade creature.
"You've got three seconds!" Keira shouted.
"You won't succeed," said Kirby happily. Keira fired her blaster at Kirby only for him to magically turn into a rock to take the bolt with ease, and then return to his regular form and continue floating away.
"What the-?" began Keira.
"Bet they don't teach you that in the insurance business. Look out world, Kirby is coming to town!" said the puffball continuing onwards with Keira still pursuing him.
Elsewhere: "What an idiot," said Zoda shaking his head. He and Zoda were currently on a ridge overlooking the rolling plains that they'd landed their ship in and could see Kirby floating above the trees as Keira kept shooting at him.
"Well he's being what we need him to be, a distraction," responded Neva Kee. "C'mon let's get going."
Zoda nodded and the two continue onwards while unbeknownst to them, a figure watched them from a distance.
Village: Kirby and Keira entered into the small town and were given strange stares by the locals.
"Well I can't blame them," said Kirby when Keira brought up the weird expressions by the locals. "It's not everyday you're confronted with greatness."
Keira laughed at him. "I think we can all do without your brand of greatness."
"I'm the best there ever was, the best there ever will be," responded Kirby.
"At what?" asked Keira laughing.
"I dunno," responded Kirby honestly. "But whatever it is, boy am I good at it."
"C'mon let's head back," said Keira jerking her head in the direction of the ship.
"Not yet," said Kirby. "Not yet."
"You said-," began Keira.
"I promised you that I would return to the ship peacefully if you'd let me do one thing in the nearest village. I have yet to do that one thing," Kirby pointed out.
"If it's to steal something…" began Keira.
"First of all, no I'm not going to steal anything and second of all, if I were you would never see it happen," stated Kirby.
"I doubt that," balked Keira.
"Where's your blaster?" asked Kirby suddenly.
"What?" asked Keira confused.
"Where's your blaster?" Kirby repeated.
"Its right he-," began Keira reaching for it when she came up empty. "What? Where did it go?"
She looked around desperately for it when Kirby produced it in his left hand.
"Is this what you're looking for?" Kirby asked. Keira snatched it from him and looked at it.
"I don't believe it," she said astonished.
"Believe it because I did do it. So don't, don't underestimate me again because that's how I get away with us much stuff as I do," said Kirby darkly before he returned to walking down the street.
"So what're you going to do then if not steal?" asked Keira.
"I'm planning on hocking some stuff that I stole during the trip that netted me that turbolaser," said Kirby once again displaying his big grin.
"How do you even know how the economics work on a planet like this? What goes for money around here might be worthless elsewhere," Keira pointed out.
"It's not, believe me," said Kirby distracted. "Since they haven't burned us at the stake for being witches, it stands to reason that they got tourists every so often and that says to me that some legitimate form of currency must pass through this planet."
"Even so, how would you even know where to look for a place to offload your goods?" Keira asked.
"I found it," said Kirby heading off towards a man who was lazily fanning himself.
"That's how you're going to sell your wares?" Keira asked doubtful.
"Yeah," responded Kirby confidently. He approached the man who looked at them earnestly.
"Hello sir," said the man not getting up.
"Hello," Kirby acknowledged in turn.
"Can I help you?" the man asked.
"Yes, I am a simple merchant looking to sell my goods at market among my fellow merchants," said Kirby.
"That sounds reasonable," the man said. "What type of market are you looking for?"
"What kind of markets do you have?" Kirby asked in earnest.
"Depends, are you looking for a reputable or a disreputable market?" asked the man.
"But doesn't that depend on what one's definition of reputable and disreputable mean?" asked Kirby innocently.
"I suppose it would, I suppose it would," said the man thoughtful.
"Could you possible direct me in the location of a market?" Kirby asked hopeful.
"Yes I suppose," said the man nodding his head. "We have eleven south with fourteen to the east of that and one that is twelve north and forty to the west of that. Across this entire planet we have twenty-four hundred of them."
"Thank you," said Kirby nodding at him. "I look forward to it."
"As do I," said the man. "As do I."
Kirby walked away followed by Keira who was as confused as ever.
"Well that was helpful," she said sarcastically as they left the village. Kirby began laughing hard at that statement.
"You're hopeless, completely hopeless," he said shaking his head.
"Why do you say that?" Keira demanded.
"Because he gave us more information than we could possibly need," said Kirby simply.
"He did?" asked Keira confused. Kirby nodded his head.
"He gave us longitude and latitude coordinates for two separate auctions as well as the time that they're meeting," said Kirby.
"But how-," began Keira, before realization dawned on her. "The number of markets!"
"Yep," said Kirby pleased. "Maybe there is hope for you yet."
"So you're going to sneak out in the middle of the night to go sell your stuff?" asked Keira.
"No," said Kirby. "You're coming with me."
Silence.
"Huh?" asked Keira confused.
"You heard me," said Kirby.
"Of what possible use could I be to you?" asked Keira.
"Only a fool would go to one of these markets without backup," said Kirby as if that should be common knowledge to all.
"Me? Backup?" asked Keira pointing to herself, before laughing. "You're better off with a taun-taun."
"I think different and I rarely lie to myself," said Kirby. "Besides, I need you to appraise the goods that I'm putting on the auction block. You are after all an ex-insurance agent."
"No, no, no, no, no," Keira protested. "I was barely an insurance agent for less than a week before I quit. I can't appraise for the life of me."
"You were still an agent for longer than me and besides, you were a banker before then so you should have some knowledge of how much things cost," Kirby pointed out. Keira reluctantly nodded at that before an idea dawned on her.
"How did you know I was a banker?" she asked. Kirby cringed.
"Did I mention I also dabble in the information market?" he asked with a grin.
"Did you go through my stuff?" accused Keira.
"Look it's Zoda and Neva Kee," said Kirby suddenly pointing to the side. Keira turned her head to have a word with them when noticed that no one was there. She then quickly snapped her head back and saw Kirby running off into the forest.
"Get back here!" she shouted as she chased after Kirby who began laughing.
Much later: Neva Kee looked into the sky with a pair of binoculars as he scanned the horizon. He and Zoda were currently perched on the top branch of a very tall tree in the middle of yet another forest.
"When are they going to get here?" said Zoda nervous.
"Soon," responded Neva Kee for the thousandth time.
"Sekot is going to have our heads," said Zoda.
"We don't know that," said Neva.
"Maybe you don't," Zoda huffed.
"Can it," said Neva setting down the binoculars and taking out a canteen to take a drink from it.
"I'm just saying all those roots coming out of the ground after us, not to mention the trees themselves," Zoda recalled in fear.
"Admittedly that was a bit odd, but cutting down a tree because it was in the way of your golf shot was almost cheating," Neva Kee pointed out.
"Yeah but I had no idea the planet was-," began Zoda.
"I did mention ahead of time that bad things had happened to those who accosted the scenery of the planet," Neva Kee admitted.
"Yeah but that was nothing compared to what we found out," said Zoda.
"True," Neva Kee admitted as sonic boom was heard.
"We're in business," said Neva Kee.
"And what business would that be?" demanded a voice.
"Aaahhh!" shouted Zoda shutting his eyes and waving a branch about in defense.
"Hello Sekot," said Neva Kee defeated. Zoda opened his eyes to see a ghost-like apparition floating above them.
"What are you doing on my soil?" demanded Sekot. "I told you never to come back here after that last round of golf!"
"Well you have such well tended greens and we couldn't resist," said Neva Kee trying to ham it up. Sekot rolled its eyes at that statement.
"What are you two idiots up to this time?" it demanded.
"Nothing," said Zoda innocently. A branch suddenly snaked about and grabbed Zoda by the collar and held him aloft.
"Spill it or someone gets hurt," Sekot demanded.
"Fine," Zoda huffed. "At this moment two golf balls are accelerating towards you at Mach Speeds and are going to impact leaving a massive crater. We were hoping to intercept the balls in mid-flight so they wouldn't irreparably damage you, but as long as you've got us hostage this isn't likely to happen."
"If you prevent this travesty from happening and I may decide to spare your lives," said Sekot darkly. "Fail and you will die."
"Great, glad we sorted that out," said Zoda nervous. The two golf balls came in low over the tree line headed straight for them.
"Where to Captain N?" asked Zoda as he put on his sunglasses.
"Onward to Dreamland and then Corneria and then…the final hole," said Neva Kee ominously.
"Eighteen destinations for eighteen holes," said Zoda nodding.
"Heads up," said Neva Kee. Zoda and Neva Kee launched themselves into the air and swung their clubs. They connected with the golf balls and both flew off into the sky without hitting the ground.
"Aw crap that hurt," said Zoda as he came back down onto the branch, holding his wrists. Neva Kee appeared unfazed as he whipped his club around like it was a sword before putting it back into his jacket.
"You'll survive," said Neva Kee picking up the club that Zoda had dropped.
"No… you won't," said Sekot. "Because I have decided that I am going to kill you both."
"C'mon!" Zoda protested.
"You have ten seconds to start running before I come after you," said Sekot.
"Let's get the hell out of here," said Neva Kee leaping down the tree. Zoda followed in pursuit as Sekot began counting. Zoda and Neva Kee finally hit the bottom and tore off into the night as nearby the trees began shifting as though they were watching them.
Elsewhere: Laser blasts came flying out of an outdoor auction.
"Run Keira run!" shouted Kirby zooming out of the auction with way too many credits in his hands, some of which he began spilling while others he started to cram down his mouth which was also jammed with credits. Keira fired a couple shots into the market before chasing off after him.
"I'm rich! I'm rich!" shouted Kirby happily.
"I can't believe you did that!" Keira said astonished as angry shouts were heard from behind them.
"What's my number one rule?" asked Kirby gleefully.
"Never ask what you can take," Keira responded. "But still…."
"Well somebody would have done it eventually, it may as well have been me," said Kirby with a big grin before sneezing and some credits came flying out his mouth.
"But still, to have stolen from thieves," began Keira.
"What can I say, I love being a gangster!" said Kirby happily. More laser blasts flew past their heads before Keira took a couple blind shots behind her.
"Well tubby you're going to be a dead gangster if you can't escape that mob's clutches," commented Keira wryly.
"Everyone's a critic," Kirby complained as he picked up the pace as the two headed for the ship.
Ship: Laser blasts came from the trees as Keira and Kirby tore out of the forest and headed across the meadow towards the ship as roots arced through another part of the forest and slammed down into the ground as Neva Kee and Zoda raced out of the trees as well only to find themselves side by side with Keira and Kirby.
"I told you to never say 'yes' to him," said Neva Kee to Keira.
"Well technically I never said 'yes', just 'oh alright' and 'fine'," said Keira in her defense before looking at the roots chasing after them. "Why is the forest attacking you?"
"You don't want to know," said Neva Kee shaking his head.
"Why aren't you using your mad lightsaber skills to defend us?" asked Kirby to Zoda.
"Because some glutton sucked my lightsaber down his enormous gullet!" said Zoda angrily.
"Do you want it back?" offered Kirby.
"No!" said Zoda. Realization dawned on Kirby's face.
"You know I can protect us," he said with a big grin.
"Oh, no you don't. You've caused enough trouble already," said Neva Kee shooting down that request.
"I am a Warp Star Warrior, it's my duty to protect the innocent," began Kirby laughing.
"You got that line off of a stale Fortune Cookie you stole from my kitchen," Neva Kee pointed out.
"And in turn it gave me magical powers," began Kirby acting heroic.
"You already those powers!" complained Zoda. "They didn't do you any good then and they're not going to do any good now."
"What's he going to do?" asked Keira.
"This!" shouted Kirby leaping into the air. He instantly was bathed in light before coming back down on the ground with a robe on and a lightsaber in his hand.
Silence.
"Was that it?" asked Keira unimpressed.
"That's it," responded Neva Kee.
"Hey!" shouted Kirby before laser blasts tore up the ground and he chased after them.
"Some hero you are," Keira snorted.
"At least I didn't complain about your appraisal capabilities," defended Kirby.
"Yes you did!" snapped Keira.
"Oh right…I did," said Kirby. The quartet quickly boarded the ship and it blasted off leaving the planet behind and headed into hyperspace.
"You'll be pleased to know Kirby that we're dropping you off back home," said Neva Kee.
"Nuts, freedom is always so fleeting," responded Kirby.
"We'll come back for you…someday," said Neva Kee.
"You'd better or else I'll escape again," Kirby threatened.
The ship flew on towards Dreamland.